Ask A Porn Shop Retail Associate Anything

[albertaboy]

My wife and I are "toying" with the idea of getting a we vibe. I have 3 questions for you.
Have you used the we vibe? If yes , what do you think?
What is your customers' opinions of it?

Thanks!

Mt wife and I used one a few times, very expensive, felt good but made me come too fast.

 

[tiny_tits]

What's the best lube?

 

[Disgustipated]

What's the best lube?

Cunt.

 

[BlueSugar]

Ha! They say sex is a young person's game, but I beg to differ!

Have you had to reduce staff or downsize much since the post-financial downturn of '09? Porn interest stays constant even though the biz mechanics changes up and fluctuates, so wondering how you've weathered the bad and ridden the tides.

Retail is always a revolving door.

I've been there 8 years
Another has for 4 years
Another has for 3 years
2 others have been for 1+ year, not yet 2.
2 others have been for 1 year
The last 3 are going on a few months now

Has been revolving door so far. The 4yr is looking to move to Florida soon. That is going to be a bitter/sweet day. We've hired a social media person and a data entry person because I can't do it alone anymore. Great signs of growth

 

[BlueSugar]

My wife and I are "toying" with the idea of getting a we vibe. I have 3 questions for you.
Have you used the we vibe? If yes , what do you think?
What is your customers' opinions of it?

Thanks!

I have used the WeVibe since its debut. I've owned the first one, the third one, and now the 4+.

Each one is positively great - they won with the design and multi use. The first WeVibe took me over a year to use for its intended use. We like to think outside the box.

It is hit and miss with the consumers - because many don't give it enough of a go at it. You cannot try a toy once. There are more raves over all than rants for the WeVibe.

 

[BlueSugar]

What's the best lube?

Where is it going? Who is it for? Any allergies? Or special wants for the lube?

In general - System Jo is an amazing line of products.

 

[CandiCame]

Where is it going? Who is it for? Any allergies? Or special wants for the lube?

In general - System Jo is an amazing line of products.

That's similar to something I was going to ask. Well notsomuch as but bitch about. Why the fuck do you even sell "massage oil"? That is apparently poison? That looks exactly like lube, that is sold in the lube section, but that, when applied to a human anus BURNS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER AND IS MADE OF POISON!? WHY DOES SUCH A PRODUCT EVEN EXIST!?

 

[BlueSugar]

That's similar to something I was going to ask. Well notsomuch as but bitch about. Why the fuck do you even sell "massage oil"? That is apparently poison? That looks exactly like lube, that is sold in the lube section, but that, when applied to a human anus BURNS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER AND IS MADE OF POISON!? WHY DOES SUCH A PRODUCT EVEN EXIST!?

Sounds like SOMEONE had a bad night - ouch.

Oils are for outside of the body. Period. What is good for the skin (external use), isn't always good for the anus, vagina, or mouth. Oils are a diuretic (you will shit yourself), clogs pores, gunks/lubes the pipes, and off sets the pH in a vagina.

For that oil feeling of never ending slippery slide awesomeness - use a silicone lubricant.
Silicone lubes are safe for internal AND external but be careful using Silicone lube with a Silicone toy -- DO NOT USE THEM TOGETHER.

Silicone bonds to itself and breaks down.
Silicone toys are otherwise fucking awesome. Can boil to disinfect (not just clean), share with any partner (bec you can disinfect them), silicone toys are non porous.
Just be sure that the toy is 100% silicone, stick with trusted brand toys.


Icy Hot is the bomb digitty for what it is used for - used sexually will make you want to claw off your genitals - ya follow?

Anything sold with a warming, cooling, tingling, on the label or marketed for "more sensation" should be used with caution on the genitals - test it on your lips (which have similar nerve endings and are mucosa membranes). Testing it on your wrist will help see if you have an allergy.

Most of these things don't use poison as an active ingredient - warming usually uses cinnamon and/or capsicum (derived from hot peppers). Cooling uses menthol or peppermint. Tingling can be yohimbe, ginko, clove, rosemary, etc... or the chemical l'arginine.

Read the bottles carefully - and ask the shop worker where it shouldn't go - if they don't know, ask their supervisor or walk out. Anyone who doesn't know, has no business owning or working in a shop.

 

[Fala]

That's similar to something I was going to ask. Well notsomuch as but bitch about. Why the fuck do you even sell "massage oil"? That is apparently poison? That looks exactly like lube, that is sold in the lube section, but that, when applied to a human anus BURNS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER AND IS MADE OF POISON!? WHY DOES SUCH A PRODUCT EVEN EXIST!?

I had a friend leave her ditty-bag in the car during freezing weather once when she went to stay the night with her boyfriend. After several hours, she went out to get it.

They finally went to bed after watching a movie and things started to get hot. She reached into her bag next to the bed for the lube she'd brought in the dark...the tube was very cold from being in the car all those hours.

The poor guy had quite a time with insertion and they finally gave up as he thought he had just drank too much.

The tube laying on the bedside table the next morning explained it all. She had grabbed her tube of Poligrip denture adhesive by accident.

Also, my sis and her hubby once reached over and grabbed a tube of Ben Gay in the dark. Ow.

 

[BlueSugar]

I had a friend leave her ditty-bag in the car during freezing weather once when she went to stay the night with her boyfriend. After several hours, she went out to get it.

They finally went to bed after watching a movie and things started to get hot. She reached into her bag next to the bed for the lube she'd brought in the dark...the tube was very cold from being in the car all those hours.

The poor guy had quite a time with insertion and they finally gave up as he thought he had just drank too much.

The tube laying on the bedside table the next morning explained it all. She had grabbed her tube of Poligrip denture adhesive by accident.

Also, my sis and her hubby once reached over and grabbed a tube of Ben Gay in the dark. Ow.

I've also heard shoe polish, shampoo and conditioner, crisco, butter, tooth paste, hair gel, all sorts of kitchen stuff including jelly and mayo.

LUBE, IS LUBE people.
ONLY USE SEX LUBE.

And never KY - it isn't actually sex lube.

 

[CandiCame]

I've also heard shoe polish, shampoo and conditioner, crisco, butter, tooth paste, hair gel, all sorts of kitchen stuff including jelly and mayo.

LUBE, IS LUBE people.
ONLY USE SEX LUBE.

And never KY - it isn't actually sex lube.

I haven't slept in two days, I just found out that I shoved hot pepper extract up my ass, and I just misread that because I like in Kentucky. It's been a shitty weekend altogether. I guess I should just be happy I didn't shit myself.

Seriously, tho, they shouldn't sell that shit all together like that.

 

[Fala]

I haven't slept in two days, I just found out that I shoved hot pepper extract up my ass, and I just misread that because I like in Kentucky. It's been a shitty weekend altogether. I guess I should just be happy I didn't shit myself.

Seriously, tho, they shouldn't sell that shit all together like that.

roflmao. If you purchase it in a grocery store...put it in your mouth. If you purchase it in a sex shop, it's a good bet that it can go in your ass.

Google is your friend. Find out what is in your lube. Sate her with a vibrator until you do the research...or do it earlier.

CandiCame, you're a riot. In a pinch, I'd suggest a warm enema.

Oh, Happy Days are here again! I feel for ya.

 

[CandiCame]

roflmao. If you purchase it in a grocery store...put it in your mouth. If you purchase it in a sex shop, it's a good bet that it can go in your ass.

Google is your friend. Find out what is in your lube. Sate her with a vibrator until you do the research...or do it earlier.

CandiCame, you're a riot. In a pinch, I'd suggest a warm enema.

Oh, Happy Days are here again! I feel for ya.

We /did/ get it in the sex shop. Well, at Hustler because we were feeling /particularly/ cheesy. Literally there's a lube section but not everything in it is lube apparently. And... I think I made it pretty clear that the gf was not the one to get burned and therefore not the one to get sated. My bitch was never that I burned myself, that's actually just kinda acceptable. It's the fact that these things are all sold together in the same section like that. If I'm in the middle of sex, I'm not going to stop and be like, "Wait let me google every ingredient in this to see if it'll kill me". I just assume that based on the location I bought it, it's lube. It came in a pack with other bottles, some of which were lube and some of which were massage oils. I'm not angry as a medical thing, or an idiot, I'm angry as a consumer. I don't think that's proper shop etiquette.

 

[TwinkleStars]

I've also heard shoe polish, shampoo and conditioner, crisco, butter, tooth paste, hair gel, all sorts of kitchen stuff including jelly and mayo.

LUBE, IS LUBE people.
ONLY USE SEX LUBE.

And never KY - it isn't actually sex lube.

I did use this for awhile until I was introduced to Astroglide....wow what a difference it made! Plus, my orgasm was all the better for having switched. Now I always get that. It's healthier for my girlie parts as well.

Has anyone ever come into your store and complained (quietly) of irritation from one of your products? If so, what was the product and what did (or would) you do to help them?

 

[Fala]

We /did/ get it in the sex shop. Well, at Hustler because we were feeling /particularly/ cheesy. Literally there's a lube section but not everything in it is lube apparently. And... I think I made it pretty clear that the gf was not the one to get burned and therefore not the one to get sated. My bitch was never that I burned myself, that's actually just kinda acceptable. It's the fact that these things are all sold together in the same section like that. If I'm in the middle of sex, I'm not going to stop and be like, "Wait let me google every ingredient in this to see if it'll kill me". I just assume that based on the location I bought it, it's lube. It came in a pack with other bottles, some of which were lube and some of which were massage oils. I'm not angry as a medical thing, or an idiot, I'm angry as a consumer. I don't think that's proper shop etiquette.

Yeah, I can understand. Perhaps the staff at the store should consult their customers about what, exactly, they're buying. I have never heard of anyone being "BURNED" by these products. I certainly think you should notify this store. I'm sorry if I took this lightly at first, CC...I didn't realize how bad this was for you.

I've actually had a similar experience or two over the years. AND, we owned porn shops too for about 35 years.

I have been doing an early spring cleaning of sorts, and my husband is still laughing about finding every single one of my dildos, vibrators, etc. in the trashcan.

Ok....I saved ONE. LOL

 

[BlueSugar]

roflmao. If you purchase it in a grocery store...put it in your mouth. If you purchase it in a sex shop, it's a good bet that it can go in your ass.

Google is your friend. Find out what is in your lube. Sate her with a vibrator until you do the research...or do it earlier.

CandiCame, you're a riot. In a pinch, I'd suggest a warm enema.

Oh, Happy Days are here again! I feel for ya.

Eh, not everything sold in every sex shop is safe. If the shop wants to make a buck they let people buy whatever they want without educating the customer a little on what they're buying.
My shop tells the customer if they have a lube or oil in their hands - and since I'm the buyer for the shop - I make sure I don't buy the cruddy stuff.

Google isn't always your friend - there is a lot of dumb advice out there - even from the companies themselves.

Especially KY. It is marketed for sex. But it should be taken off the shelves. It gets tacky and sticky. Lube shouldn't be tacky and sticky. Johnson & Johnson ruins sex lives every day because they have the clout to advertise. Can't believe everything on Tv...

 

[BlueSugar]

I did use this for awhile until I was introduced to Astroglide....wow what a difference it made! Plus, my orgasm was all the better for having switched. Now I always get that. It's healthier for my girlie parts as well.

Has anyone ever come into your store and complained (quietly) of irritation from one of your products? If so, what was the product and what did (or would) you do to help them?

Quietly AND loudly. It is usually because they used a product incorrectly, even after us telling them how... yanno... the customer is always right and porn is law

Or they used too much of it on their sensitive bits and they're more sensitive than they thought. I tell my clients to buy baby-wipes and put them next to the bed in case anything like that happens again. I always ask if they're sensitive or what they have hated about past lube/toy experiences to help them avoid the mistake again.

I tell them the basics and let them shop. If they need help, I will come over. When they get to the counter, I will inform them what they have and what not to do and give a fun tip or two to help them have a good time.

If the product burned them, it is usually because they didn't take our advice on the material. Not all toys are created equal and there is a safe way to use most of them. I run this place like a teaching hospital. If the toy had a short or didn't work, we take it back for the same item (after testing it) or equal or more exchange for anything else they'd like in the store as credit. If they didn't like the toy, we give 20% off their next buy. Sadly, sex toys aren't sweaters and we can't just refund everything bc they didn't like it etc.
Sex has a lot of trial and error inherently.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Quietly AND loudly. It is usually because they used a product incorrectly, even after us telling them how... yanno... the customer is always right and porn is law

Or they used too much of it on their sensitive bits and they're more sensitive than they thought. I tell my clients to buy baby-wipes and put them next to the bed in case anything like that happens again. I always ask if they're sensitive or what they have hated about past lube/toy experiences to help them avoid the mistake again.

I tell them the basics and let them shop. If they need help, I will come over. When they get to the counter, I will inform them what they have and what not to do and give a fun tip or two to help them have a good time.

If the product burned them, it is usually because they didn't take our advice on the material. Not all toys are created equal and there is a safe way to use most of them. I run this place like a teaching hospital. If the toy had a short or didn't work, we take it back for the same item (after testing it) or equal or more exchange for anything else they'd like in the store as credit. If they didn't like the toy, we give 20% off their next buy. Sadly, sex toys aren't sweaters and we can't just refund everything bc they didn't like it etc.
Sex has a lot of trial and error inherently.

That's very interesting. Thanks for answering!

 

[SCcouple1990]

We bought Tera Patrick’s Big One at a shop (hate that is no longer on the market). The guy at the register said to a coworker “Cindy have you seen this thing, it’s thick as shit.” What is the funniest thing you have heard a worker say about a product?

 

[CandiCame]

So... realtalk for people putting lube in their vaginas. I thought those were self lubricating. I genuinely, genuinely thought that. I've not even been offering. Kinda feel like an asshole. And by "kinda", I mean "totally".

 

[BlueSugar]

We bought Tera Patrick’s Big One at a shop (hate that is no longer on the market). The guy at the register said to a coworker “Cindy have you seen this thing, it’s thick as shit.” What is the funniest thing you have heard a worker say about a product?

I might take the cake on funniest thing said about a product. There is a butt plug called the Gum Drop Butt Plug - and it takes on a whole new life when you start saying it like the gingerbread man from Shrek.

A coworker says the Lelo Ida looks like a sad sperm.

One of our tinniest female workers likes putting on the biggest dicks she can in a harness and walks around with them - they are thicker and bigger than her arm.

I've had a customer walk in, do a bee line to the huge dolls, heft it on his shoulder, did a quick payment and left just like that. No words. That made us giggle for a while.

We're also a smoke shop - so there has been a lot of "I wish I could vape out of this butt plug" etc. There was one time System Jo came in to do a demo and the guys vaped flavored lube.

The boothers are endless entertainment - some will walk right in and (try to) skip paying. We'll stop them and they act like nothing happened "oh, payment? oh... I'm sorry"... yet they ALL know where to go but have "never been here before".

Counting the coupons for the booths, they are recycled, so, only Oden knows what is on them when they get cycled down. My co manager said to a new guy "Hey, don't lick your fingers to help you count the coupons - because then you'll REALLY get some Island Taste". (A Play on a chinese restaurant chain around here- gross but hilarious for us.)

A former coworker's line was "hey, want to see something that makes me wish I had a vagina"... and he was sincere when he said it.

Same guy who made the Island Taste joke, asks customers if they "Love their Dick" while leading into a Fleshlight sale.

There is a laugh every day

 

[BlueSugar]

So... realtalk for people putting lube in their vaginas. I thought those were self lubricating. I genuinely, genuinely thought that. I've not even been offering. Kinda feel like an asshole. And by "kinda", I mean "totally".

Vaginas are self lubricating and self cleaning -- but the flow changes week to week with the feminine cycle. Toys need a lil help going in, and saliva dries up. Use lube

 

[IrezumiKiss]

This thread just might be the best thread bump of a formerly obscure thread that's ever happened on the GB.

 

[tiny_tits]

What's the best lube?

Where is it going? Who is it for? Any allergies? Or special wants for the lube?

In general - System Jo is an amazing line of products.

Ummm... okay, a good anal lube to use with a silicone toy?
No allergies.

 

[TwinkleStars]

How often are nipple pasties sold? How often do bridal parties come (not cum) in the shop? Have you ever caught someone actually masterbating? Tell a funny customer story.