Ask a Dom

[Never]

Does buying your dom bling-bling undercut their domliness? What about paying for their hotel, gas, and expenses when they come to visit? How should a sub react to a dom that make these things a requirement of the relationship?

 

[FurryFury]

Does buying your dom bling-bling undercut their domliness? What about paying for their hotel, gas, and expenses when they come to visit? How should a sub react to a dom that make these things a requirement of the relationship?

Just say no, unless you can afford it, it turns you on and you are into to pay for play. That's my 2 cents.

Fury

 

[raven2]

Does buying your dom bling-bling undercut their domliness? What about paying for their hotel, gas, and expenses when they come to visit? How should a sub react to a dom that make these things a requirement of the relationship?

I am going to agree with Fury on this one. Unless you have some sort of agreement. This seems to me that the Dom may not really be into caring for the sub.

 

[LadyAria]

*grins*

Thank you LadyAria!

That makes me so happy to hear! I needed that!

Fury

PS I'm posting all sick and zonked out so if I messed it up that might be why, please forgive fever typing. LOL.

I hope you feel better, Fury, really soon. Take care

 

[LadyAria]

I look in here often, and I just want to thank Lady Aria and all of the people who post here for their experiences and their insight.

This is a very valuable thread.

Thanks, Kayte. It would be even more valuable if you could get your fine Sir to post some of his fancy bindings and hand crafted leather accessories. Speaking of which...I'm starting to miss your other avatar

 

[FurryFury]

I hope you feel better, Fury, really soon. Take care

Thanks, I'm trying. The good news is that I've been on antibiotics long enough now that I'm not contagious, of course a severe sinus infection shouldn't be contagious anyway.

Also I have lunch with two gf's tomorrow! Yay! All I have to do is drive there and back, that shouldn't be too hard. Then blessed peace with my darling friends! There are just some people in this world that make you feel loved and good. *sighs*

Fury

 

[LadyAria]

Thanks, I'm trying. The good news is that I've been on antibiotics long enough now that I'm not contagious, of course a severe sinus infection shouldn't be contagious anyway.

Also I have lunch with two gf's tomorrow! Yay! All I have to do is drive there and back, that shouldn't be too hard. Then blessed peace with my darling friends! There are just some people in this world that make you feel loved and good. *sighs*

Fury

That is good. Sinus infections are the worst. Have fun tomorrow. Tea with friends should help with the healing process.

 

[DVS]

Just say no, unless you can afford it, it turns you on and you are into to pay for play. That's my 2 cents.

Fury

Personally, I play for free. I can't see me ever asking or demanding such things, and I would think someone who does is just looking for more "stuff" for himself. Maybe he has a "I'm the great Dom" complex?

Or, maybe he's got more than one sub and is playing with the one who gives the best "stuff". I know it's hard to think about it, but I just can't see ever demanding such things unless it's not any fun for him without the "stuff".

For me, if I don't want the sex or the play, why bother with the relationship? The only thing I might require of the sub is supply the condoms and lube. Everything else I need...I'll take on my own.

 

[LadyAria]

Does buying your dom bling-bling undercut their domliness? What about paying for their hotel, gas, and expenses when they come to visit? How should a sub react to a dom that make these things a requirement of the relationship?

No, gifts do not undercut anyone's domliness. Some Dom(me)'s are very into tokens of respect. To each, their own.

Paying for every element of a visit from a Dom(me) is a red flag of a potential leech. Opportunist are in every element of life. However, again, if that gets the sub off, go for it. However, it is cheaper to just get a "Rent a Dom" as I call them from the back of a lifestyler magazine.

A requirements of the relationship?...well...again if you are into that. Some male subs really get into that as a way of further humiliation. I seen less females who were into that. Personally, I don't suggest D/s relationships be too financial in nature. Neither party should be too dependent of the funding of the other or there is always potential for corruption. I think that of any type of personal relationship.

 

[kayte]

Thanks, Kayte. It would be even more valuable if you could get your fine Sir to post some of his fancy bindings and hand crafted leather accessories. :wink: Speaking of which...I'm starting to miss your other avatar

Good evening Lady Aria ~ I will ask Him, maybe the new little flogger He is now working on... He said he wanted something for those "smaller areas"...

Is that the AV with the rope? I can mention that to Him as well. I hope your week was a good one and that you have a wonderful weekend.

 

[LadyAria]

Good evening Lady Aria ~ I will ask Him, maybe the new little flogger He is now working on... He said he wanted something for those "smaller areas"...

Is that the AV with the rope? I can mention that to Him as well. I hope your week was a good one and that you have a wonderful weekend.

I'd like to see that...then you can tell me how he used it on you later

Oh yes, the rope. It is the image I think of when I think of you

 

[leeroy jenkins]

total noob

Let me first say I really like some of the AV of the regular posters. Lady Aria, Kayte, and FurryFury.

Before I ask my questions to the group I think a bit of background might help. If you look at the last three lines of my sig you might be able to see what I am coming from point of view wise. I am a worker not a social butterfly. What does this mean in real life, that until about a year ago I was a virgin, partly due to my job and faith, but mostly due to lack of a partner. I do not regret having sex but I do regret who my first time was with, as now I think she is a stupid bitch. I give this info out though to show my noobishness not to sex but at least to bdsm part of it.

I know I want to explore bdsm lifestyle, but I have questions about some of the play activities that were listed in your questionaire link Lady Aria. So can someone explain what gates of hell, gun and knife play, sleepsack, and urethral sound are?? I guess I coulda done a google search but then I could not make this post and introduced meself to you fine folk.

Now comes the hard part, so I get the information from you guys or find it on another thread. I then turn my incredible drive to try tofind some playmates, how would you know if you fit better as a sub or a switch? Is it one of those know thyself sorta things? Or should you just go out and explore?

 

[kayte]

I'd like to see that...then you can tell me how he used it on you later

Oh yes, the rope. It is the image I think of when I think of you

Good evening {{{{Lady Aria}}}

I will let you know how it goes, if He lets me share that...

Hope your weekend is a marvelous one.

 

[kayte]

Let me first say I really like some of the AV of the regular posters. Lady Aria, Kayte, and FurryFury.

Before I ask my questions to the group I think a bit of background might help. If you look at the last three lines of my sig you might be able to see what I am coming from point of view wise. I am a worker not a social butterfly. What does this mean in real life, that until about a year ago I was a virgin, partly due to my job and faith, but mostly due to lack of a partner. I do not regret having sex but I do regret who my first time was with, as now I think she is a stupid bitch. I give this info out though to show my noobishness not to sex but at least to bdsm part of it.

I know I want to explore bdsm part of sex, but I have questions about some of the play activities that were listed in your questionaire link Lady Aria. So can someone explain what gates of hell, gun and knife play, sleepsack, and urethral sound are?? I guess I coulda done a google search but then I could not make this post and introduced meself to you fine folk.

Good evening leeroy ~ Welcome to Lady Aria's thread. It is always great to have new people drop in.

I know I am not the expert on much of what you listed you had questions on. I have no idea what the gates of hell are.

Knife play and gun play from how I see them are more of a mental play. Such as a sub is restrained, maybe blindfolded. And the Top/Dom is using the sound of his/her voice and what they are saying as they run a "knife" over the person. In the scenes I have been aware up it is a butter knife, something that isn't really going to cut, but the sub doesn't know that. A knife edge, even a dull one feels pretty intense in a situation like that.

Not sure what sleep sack is. Nor do I know what the urethral sound play is.

I am sure Lady Aria will be able to fully answer your questions.

 

[Shagly]

So what kind of toys should I have in my collection?

 

[DVS]

I have no idea what the gates of hell are.

Not sure what sleep sack is. Nor do I know what the urethral sound play is.

I am sure Lady Aria will be able to fully answer your questions.

If you're a guy, you know what the five gates of hell are.

As for the sleep sacks, they are unisex.

Now, something else a man tends to cringe about are urethral sounds The one in this link is electrical...because I figured you might need a pic to see what sounds are used for.

I'm a hetro male Dom, so none of these items appeal to me. OK, the sleep sack maybe, if I just wanted my submissive's mouth for a while. But, as you have said, I'm sure Lady Aria will be more than happy to give her thoughts on these.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Origanally posted by DVS
If you're a guy, you know what the five gates of hell are.

As for the sleep sacks, they are unisex.

Now, something else a man tends to cringe about are urethral sounds The one in this link is electrical...because I figured you might need a pic to see what sounds are used for.

Thank you DVS I think you cleared up the stuff that Katye could not as for function I am smart figure that out now I know what the stuff is. Ok that might be a bit off with the urethral sounds but all the rest basically bondage type items.

 

[DVS]

Thank you DVS I think you cleared up the stuff that Katye could not as for function I am smart figure that out now I know what the stuff is. Ok that might be a bit off with the urethral sounds but all the rest basically bondage type items.

yes, all of these are mainly for female Dommes and male subs. You are correct that the gates of hell are bondage, but they also are for torment.

Those rings are usually not large enough for an erection and are painful if the sub gets one. And, the more advanced ones come with interchangeable sizes to satisfy the whims of the Domme. Also, with the added leash, being tugged around by the gates like a puppy dog is not only painful but humiliating. OK, if you're not into that, that's fine. But, there are a lot of male subs who are and of course, a lot of female Dommes who are, too.

The sleep sack is obviously for bondage, but it could also be used to punish a sub, by putting him in this sack and then using a whip or flogger on him. Some of these are made of latex or rubber and so the pain of the flogger would be transmitted though these materials and the sub would feel it. Again, if you aren't into such things, that's fine. Of course, not everybody iis.

Now, the sounds are sometihing I don't even like talking about. But, again, a lot of male subs and female Dommes are, so such is life. They are yet another means of tormenting the sub, at the whims of the Domme.

 

[kayte]

So what kind of toys should I have in my collection?

Good evening {{{{Shagly}}}} Nice to see you.

That is a hard question to answer without knowing more of what you are interested in.

What is you enjoy doing or having done.

 

[kayte]

If you're a guy, you know what the five gates of hell are.

As for the sleep sacks, they are unisex.

Now, something else a man tends to cringe about are urethral sounds The one in this link is electrical...because I figured you might need a pic to see what sounds are used for.

I'm a hetro male Dom, so none of these items appeal to me. OK, the sleep sack maybe, if I just wanted my submissive's mouth for a while. But, as you have said, I'm sure Lady Aria will be more than happy to give her thoughts on these.

Thank you DVS. It is nice to see you! Are you doing any more writing?

 

[FurryFury]

Let me first say I really like some of the AV of the regular posters. Lady Aria, Kayte, and FurryFury. <snip>

Now comes the hard part, so I get the information from you guys or find it on another thread. I then turn my incredible drive to try tofind some playmates, how would you know if you fit better as a sub or a switch? Is it one of those know thyself sorta things? Or should you just go out and explore?<snip>

Leeroy Jenkins,

I'm glad you like my av! Thanks for the compliment. The av means a lot to me.

I'm sorry your first time and first person were not the right ones for you. I too had a horrible first time and person long ago when I was 21. So I have that sort of empathy.

Since your questions have been answered about play that leaves how to know you fit better as a sub or a switch. Since you are single you have a wonderful opportunity that I envy. That is to get in the RL scene. Find a local munch, which is a group that meets for lunch or dinner with no sex involved and get to know others in the scene. When you are comfortable with them, you might want to go to a play party. After you get to that point and you begin to play, I think you will learn with certainty what you prefer. Enjoy your journey and let us know how it goes.

*smiles*

In my opinion you can "play" online but it won't be the same as actually doing things in RL. I think you will learn more about yourself and it can lead to some where satisfying and real if you screw up your courage and get out there.

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

Good evening {{{{Shagly}}}} Nice to see you.

That is a hard question to answer without knowing more of what you are interested in.

What is you enjoy doing or having done.

Exactly what I was going to say, get what you and your lover if you have one would enjoy. There are so many toys but only you and yours can know what you are interested in.

Fury

 

[Shagly]

Well somehow I wind up flirting with disaster.

Not easy trying to stay out of trouble, somehow it finds me.

 

[FurryFury]

Well somehow I wind up flirting with disaster.

Not easy trying to stay out of trouble, somehow it finds me.

*scratches head and looks puzzled*


Care to expound on that?


Fury

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

Fun And Games

.

Now, the sounds are sometihing I don't even like talking about. But, again, a lot of male subs and female Dommes are, so such is life. They are yet another means of tormenting the sub, at the whims of the Domme.

Ah gee! And I think that the real "stuff" starts with a #32 Van Buren.

Actually that is the largest I have in a set of 8. SO__I try to keep it around #28 or #30. Otherwise, I soon be buying the top set to the #40. Ouch!!
The #32 is app 1 cm in diameter. Decidly an attention getter. A couple of years ago a very nice DOMME gave me some good advice: i.e. take your time and always leave something for tomorrow.