Ask a Dom

[FurryFury]

Hey Fury... Thanks for the advice. In the few months we've been talking, I never had any concerns. Not until last night, that is... My friend I talked about in my first post sent me a bunch of links to articles, threads on different sites, etc... I've not read through all of them yet, but the ones I have read, plus the one alice posted here made me think twice about giving myself to this "Dom".

I just got done talking to him. I wanted to test him a little and he failed. I started asking questions... why he left out some of the article he sent me, why he requires a sub he's just met to address him as 'Sir' when they've clearly not agreed to submit to him (I read somewhere that's a red flag) and if it's required that we session on our first meeting. For the most part, he never really gave me a straight answer. Then he tells me "I don't have time for this... the last thing I need is someone questioning My experience when they should know better."

Course, I wasn't questioning his experience. After that last statement, I told him he gave me all the answers I needed right there. I'm SO glad I realized what an ass he is before meeting him in r/l. I know I still have a lot to learn, but I have much more knowledge now that will help me in making the right decisions.

LadyAria, thank you so much for starting this thread. It just saved me a lot of grief (and possibly my life). Who knows what could've happened if I chose to meet up with this creep.

{{{Hugs}}} for everyone!

*BIG HUGE HUGS back atcha Sugah*

You've done good!

It's hard to make the right choices when you want so much for things to be right. Good for you!

*HUGS*

Fury

 

[LadyAria]

I urge you to read this:

http://www.simplyshani.com/safe.html

Please be careful.
Alice

This is a very good site. Thank you for sharing and helping another one in our community.

 

[Shagly]

So when you entail the rounds of the BDSM life A.) where would you draw the line? B.) How do you know what is a safe line to draw?

 

[LadyAria]

Alright... I'm not sure if these are the right kinds of questions for this thread

This is exactly the right thread and I am so glad other's provided the information you needed to make a sound decision. I saw your later post stating you chose to leave that Dom alone.

I see you've already discovered Jay Wiseman. He is a great writer and has some wonderful books on the lifestyle. I have some earlier books in the thread I suggested too. For you in particular, I think you'll find "Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely" by Bill Henkin and Sybil Holiday a valuable read. It's a great intro to consenual power exchange play.

 

[sxy_bi_horny_chick]

This is exactly the right thread and I am so glad other's provided the information you needed to make a sound decision. I saw your later post stating you chose to leave that Dom alone.

I see you've already discovered Jay Wiseman. He is a great writer and has some wonderful books on the lifestyle. I have some earlier books in the thread I suggested too. For you in particular, I think you'll find "Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely" by Bill Henkin and Sybil Holiday a valuable read. It's a great intro to consenual power exchange play.

Thanks LadyAria. I'll certainly try to find that as well as a few others I've heard about. Haven't exactly 'discovered' Jay Wiseman as the only time I've heard of him was when the Dom talked about his books. I've been trying to find it, but with money being as tight as it is right now, doubt I'll be able to get any books anytime soon.

Anyhoo... thanks for the support everyone. I will certainly be more careful when talking to a "Dom" (or anyone for that matter) about meeting in r/l.

 

[LadyAria]

Thanks LadyAria. I'll certainly try to find that as well as a few others I've heard about. Haven't exactly 'discovered' Jay Wiseman as the only time I've heard of him was when the Dom talked about his books. I've been trying to find it, but with money being as tight as it is right now, doubt I'll be able to get any books anytime soon.

Anyhoo... thanks for the support everyone. I will certainly be more careful when talking to a "Dom" (or anyone for that matter) about meeting in r/l.

If your truely interested, I would be happy to purchase you a set of beginner's reading material and have them mailed to you (or a P.O. Box) from Amazon. After your inital Dom experience, it would be my pleasure to let you see there are Dom(mes) who respect the gift of the submissive. There will be people in your lifestyle experience who pose as Dom(me) and subs that are nothing more then scum sucking bottom dwellers who make the rest of us look bad. They are opportunist that know nothing more then how to manipulate a situation for thier personal gain. It is one of the reasons I prefer to function within my local community as a part of a society who looks out for thier own. This will be a gift. I'm quite taken with my situation and not looking to pick up any new subs

I am actively involved in a local society for lifestylers. We meet socially for lunches, informational seminars and of course weekend soirees.

There are many local BDSM groups. Good ways to find groups in your own area include is to contact BDSM groups in a nearby major city and ask about a more local chapter, look in gay or alternative newspapers for ads (even if you're straight) and post a query (not a personal ad) in bondage.com

Here is a few contacts - not nearly all of them, but hopefully useful:
Arizona Power Exchange (APEX)
Baltimore, Maryland: Phoenix Society
Calgary, Alberta: Southern Alberta Association for Fetish/Fantasy
Columbia University, New York City: Conversio Virium
Houston, TX: PEP
Florida: Sarasota Society
Louisville, Kentucky: LATEX (Louisville Area Trust Exchange)
New York City: The Eulenspiegel Society (T.E.S.), Gay Male S/M Activists Rochester, NYFS Society
Norfolk, VA: Anchor Munch Group
Portland, Oregon: The Portland Leather Resource Directory
Seattle, Washington: S/M and Bondage Resources List
Toronto: Safer SM Seminars (Has some useful information online, but mostly gives local seminars.)
Tucson, Arizons: P.I.T. (Playing In Tucson). Appears mostly oriented towards fetish clothing.
Washington, D.C.: The Black Rose
US: National Leather Association (NLA) - has chapters in a number of cities, as well as putting on tha annual Living in Leather (LIL) conference.
Seattle, WA: Seattle Sex Positive Community Center aka The Wet Spot
Baltimore, MD:BESS
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, U.S.
National Leather Association, U.S.
San Francisco, CA: Samois, Society of Janus (pansexual)
San Francisco, CA: Leathermen's Discussion Group, The 15 Association, (men only)
San Francisco, CA: The Exiles (women only)
San Jose , CA:The Santa Clara County Leather Association, smOdyssey, (pansexual)
Los Angeles:The Threshold Society
New York: The Eulenspiegel Society
Washington D.C.:Black Rose
Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill NC:The Safe, Sane, Consensual Network
Hartford CT: The Society
East Hartford CT:United Leatherfolk of Connecticut
New Hampshire: Darkstone
Chicopee MA: Western Mass. Power Exchange
Austin, TX:Group With No Name
Norway: SMil-Norge, Oslo
Toronto, ON, Canada: DSSG
UK: BDSM Home Page
International: Deaf Leather Resources - had a nice set of general BDSM
Datenschlag, Germany
UK: Spanner Trust, SM Pride,The Firm, LondonFetishScene, SMDykes
Finland: SMFR

Best of luck in finding the right Dom in the future. The face to face approach is always best in my opinion.

 

[sxy_bi_horny_chick]

If your truely interested, I would be happy to purchase you a set of beginner's reading material and have them mailed to you (or a P.O. Box) from Amazon. After your inital Dom experience, it would be my pleasure to let you see there are Dom(mes) who respect the gift of the submissive. There will be people in your lifestyle experience who pose as Dom(me) and subs that are nothing more then scum sucking bottom dwellers who make the rest of us look bad. They are opportunist that know nothing more then how to manipulate a situation for thier personal gain. It is one of the reasons I prefer to function within my local community as a part of a society who looks out for thier own. This will be a gift. I'm quite taken with my situation and not looking to pick up any new subs

I am actively involved in a local society for lifestylers. We meet socially for lunches, informational seminars and of course weekend soirees.

There are many local BDSM groups. Good ways to find groups in your own area include is to contact BDSM groups in a nearby major city and ask about a more local chapter, look in gay or alternative newspapers for ads (even if you're straight) and post a query (not a personal ad) in bondage.com

Here is a few contacts - not nearly all of them, but hopefully useful:
Arizona Power Exchange (APEX)
Baltimore, Maryland: Phoenix Society
Calgary, Alberta: Southern Alberta Association for Fetish/Fantasy
Columbia University, New York City: Conversio Virium
Houston, TX: PEP
Florida: Sarasota Society
Louisville, Kentucky: LATEX (Louisville Area Trust Exchange)
New York City: The Eulenspiegel Society (T.E.S.), Gay Male S/M Activists Rochester, NYFS Society
Norfolk, VA: Anchor Munch Group
Portland, Oregon: The Portland Leather Resource Directory
Seattle, Washington: S/M and Bondage Resources List
Toronto: Safer SM Seminars (Has some useful information online, but mostly gives local seminars.)
Tucson, Arizons: P.I.T. (Playing In Tucson). Appears mostly oriented towards fetish clothing.
Washington, D.C.: The Black Rose
US: National Leather Association (NLA) - has chapters in a number of cities, as well as putting on tha annual Living in Leather (LIL) conference.
Seattle, WA: Seattle Sex Positive Community Center aka The Wet Spot
Baltimore, MD:BESS
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, U.S.
National Leather Association, U.S.
San Francisco, CA: Samois, Society of Janus (pansexual)
San Francisco, CA: Leathermen's Discussion Group, The 15 Association, (men only)
San Francisco, CA: The Exiles (women only)
San Jose , CA:The Santa Clara County Leather Association, smOdyssey, (pansexual)
Los Angeles:The Threshold Society
New York: The Eulenspiegel Society
Washington D.C.:Black Rose
Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill NC:The Safe, Sane, Consensual Network
Hartford CT: The Society
East Hartford CT:United Leatherfolk of Connecticut
New Hampshire: Darkstone
Chicopee MA: Western Mass. Power Exchange
Austin, TX:Group With No Name
Norway: SMil-Norge, Oslo
Toronto, ON, Canada: DSSG
UK: BDSM Home Page
International: Deaf Leather Resources - had a nice set of general BDSM
Datenschlag, Germany
UK: Spanner Trust, SM Pride,The Firm, LondonFetishScene, SMDykes
Finland: SMFR

Best of luck in finding the right Dom in the future. The face to face approach is always best in my opinion.

Wow... I don't know whatelse to say other than thank you, LadyAria. I'm not one to ask for anything, but I'm also not one to turn down such an offer either. (Will PM in a bit)

I've done a search for groups in my area and found there aren't a whole lot and the few that are here aren't in my city Not having a car right now kinda makes it impossible to get to any of closest ones. However, I am still going to get as much information I can from as many different sources I can. I have a lot to learn and since I'm still young, plenty of time to learn it.

Thanks for everything. You're the best.

 

[LadyAria]

Wow... I don't know whatelse to say other than thank you, LadyAria. I'm not one to ask for anything, but I'm also not one to turn down such an offer either. (Will PM in a bit)

I've done a search for groups in my area and found there aren't a whole lot and the few that are here aren't in my city Not having a car right now kinda makes it impossible to get to any of closest ones. However, I am still going to get as much information I can from as many different sources I can. I have a lot to learn and since I'm still young, plenty of time to learn it.

Thanks for everything. You're the best.

Your welcome. Merry Christmas and happy studies. I could not think of a better subject. Please let me when your goodies arrive.

 

[SubNebGuy]

Looks like its open season on a new questions, and since I'm a noob here, it may as well be me.

First off, lovely site you have here. My wife actually found it first, searching for erotic stories to help her find her 'inner domme'.

Now, in our daily lives, I run the show, but we have a very balanced relationship, and we communicate better than ANY of our friends do with their SO.

Anyhow, in browsing the forum today I saw lots of references that would lead one to think that submission and masochism go hand in hand. Is that the 'norm', or just more common than subs that just like being dominated, and not subjected to extra pain?

Also, as I said, in my situation, 90% of the time, I'm the dominant party in the relationship, and my wife prefers it that way. But we both enjoy it when she steps into her role as the dominant one.
How common is that? Would we really be more classified as roleplaying then true D/s?

Just figuring out life's little puzzle that is my 'sexuality'

 

[FurryFury]

Looks like its open season on a new questions, and since I'm a noob here, it may as well be me.

First off, lovely site you have here. My wife actually found it first, searching for erotic stories to help her find her 'inner domme'.

Now, in our daily lives, I run the show, but we have a very balanced relationship, and we communicate better than ANY of our friends do with their SO.

Anyhow, in browsing the forum today I saw lots of references that would lead one to think that submission and masochism go hand in hand. Is that the 'norm', or just more common than subs that just like being dominated, and not subjected to extra pain?

Also, as I said, in my situation, 90% of the time, I'm the dominant party in the relationship, and my wife prefers it that way. But we both enjoy it when she steps into her role as the dominant one.
How common is that? Would we really be more classified as roleplaying then true D/s?

Just figuring out life's little puzzle that is my 'sexuality'

Hi! I'm glad you are enjoying your time here. I am so not a Dom but I had a few thoughts so here they are.

Maybe we should do a poll about some of these questions you have asked because I don't know how common the whole s/m thing is here. For me that's interesting if it's sensation and combined with pleasure but being Dominated is what I truly crave.

IMO if you feel like you have a true D/s relationship, you do. If you feel like you are role playing you are. If you feel like you are role playing as part of your true D/s relationship, that's fine too. There aren't someone else's standards of true D/s that you have to live up to in order to qualify. There is no right way to do things or be. There is only what you and your lady want to do.

Many but not all people act in the bedroom the exact opposite of how they do in the rest of the time.

I don't think it's that unusual for partners to switch roles in the bedroom either.

I think if you ask people that know my husband and I in RL they would say we are both very dominant and never guess we would both prefer to be subs.

We certainly aren't 24/7.

He is not into pain at all, though it sometimes occurs.

We are both into sensations, role playing, making the other one happy and trying new things.

I hope this helps,

Fury

 

[Lady_Prowless]

???

Id like to know what enjoyment do people get out of it??? ive never been into pain myself..bad flashbacks of spankings before in my childhood..but what pleasure is possible from being the weaker end of the dom thing???

 

[FurryFury]

Id like to know what enjoyment do people get out of it??? ive never been into pain myself..bad flashbacks of spankings before in my childhood..but what pleasure is possible from being the weaker end of the dom thing???

Which is the weaker end? That is very debatable actually.

As I have stated before the "pain" can be sensation.

I too was spanked a lot as a child but this is not the same thing to me at all as those childhood spankings.

Fury

 

[SubNebGuy]

I can count the number of times I was spanked as a child, mostly by a family friend who babysat me, and it wasn't a hard spankig. It was the act of spanking, nto the pain, that was the punishment.

Which reminds me, I do like to be spanked, nipples pinched, etc, but that's as far into pain as I've gone, or care to go.

Why do I enjoy it? Well, for starters its different...its far from mundane sex that we usually have. Sometimes I'm the Dom, sometimes she is, and sometimes its just vanilla sex...usually when we are pressed for time.
Also, since I'm usually the 'take charge' guy, its a relief to let someone else run the show.

as for why humiliation is arousing to some...I'm not sure I can give a good answer. Either you like being a sub, bottom, and made to wear constricting panties...all of which excites you....or it doesn't...which just means its not your cup of tea.

 

[heckle]

I've done a search for groups in my area and found there aren't a whole lot and the few that are here aren't in my city Not having a car right now kinda makes it impossible to get to any of closest ones. However, I am still going to get as much information I can from as many different sources I can. I have a lot to learn and since I'm still young, plenty of time to learn it.

What area are you in? If you let us know atleast what state your in it shoudl not be too hard to track down some local groups.

Here is another website that may help you out finding a local group or munch.

http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html

 

[sxy_bi_horny_chick]

What area are you in? If you let us know atleast what state your in it shoudl not be too hard to track down some local groups.

Here is another website that may help you out finding a local group or munch.

http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html

I'm in Indiana. The closest ones I've found are at least half hour drive from where I'm at and as I stated before, not having a car kinda makes it impossible to get to them.

 

[KR]

Switch seeks to dominate an alpha male

I've not heard any mention of Switches. If I were in the lifestyle, I would be a switch--a submissive-leaning switch, but a switch nonetheless. And being a switch has its complications.

I am presently dating an alpha male who was involved in the lifestyle for a few years but left, he said, because he found service-oriented subs too much work and pain sluts tedious and female switches too rare. We both enjoy the struggle-and-conquering aspect of our relationship--two strong-willed people vying for dominance. I had a very negative experience with a sadistic Dom over a decade ago and fled the BDSM scene, and I have assiduously avoided Doms ever since. Pain is not my thing, nor is humiliation. Pleasure tho, now that, as a friend of mine likes to say, really cranks my tractor. And my lover, well, he knows how to drive me wild, drive all thoughts from my mind, and drive me to orgasm again and again, for hours at a time.

But being a switch, I do have an inner domme, and something in me really wants to turn tables on him. I want to push the pleasure-envelope with him, to have him leaping mindlessly under my hands, all moans and sighs and tremors. I want to control his pleasure until he is begging me to let him come, begging me to stop or he will come, begging with his whole body for the release of that ultimate superfeeling hovering at the edge of his senses.

I've mentioned it to him in the past, but we both have busy lives and we have so little opportunity to be together (perhaps three or four days a month) and as soon as he touches me, I am awash in pleasure, wet and ready and aching for him. Sometimes, after our initial heated fuckfest, I try to take the dominant role, but he is so controlled and controlling, he just won't surrender to pleasure the way I can/do. I've thought that if I bound him, it might make it easier for both of us, might keep him from topping me from the bottom, and give him something to fight against or surrender to, and while he says he will let me bind him, he hasn't yet.

Now, after all that preamble, I come to my questions... Am I hoping in vain? Is my desire to control him via pleasure destined to remain in the fantasy realm? I've considered writing a story for him, a fantasy outlining my desire and how much I would enjoy his submission, but I'm not sure how well it would be received... Any thoughts?

 

[FurryFury]

I can count the number of times I was spanked as a child, mostly by a family friend who babysat me, and it wasn't a hard spankig. It was the act of spanking, nto the pain, that was the punishment.

Which reminds me, I do like to be spanked, nipples pinched, etc, but that's as far into pain as I've gone, or care to go.

Why do I enjoy it? Well, for starters its different...its far from mundane sex that we usually have. Sometimes I'm the Dom, sometimes she is, and sometimes its just vanilla sex...usually when we are pressed for time.
Also, since I'm usually the 'take charge' guy, its a relief to let someone else run the show.

as for why humiliation is arousing to some...I'm not sure I can give a good answer. Either you like being a sub, bottom, and made to wear constricting panties...all of which excites you....or it doesn't...which just means its not your cup of tea.

Sounds familiar!

Sounds a lot like my relationship with my husband.

Sounds good!

Fury

I'm in Indiana. The closest ones I've found are at least half hour drive from where I'm at and as I stated before, not having a car kinda makes it impossible to get to them.

I suggest you start talking with some members or the group online, get to know them a little, meet in a public place then if you are comfortable enough see if you can catch a ride.

Does that make sense or am I off base?

Fury

I've not heard any mention of Switches. If I were in the lifestyle, I would be a switch--a submissive-leaning switch, but a switch nonetheless. And being a switch has its complications.

I am presently dating an alpha male who was involved in the lifestyle for a few years but left, he said, because he found service-oriented subs too much work and pain sluts tedious and female switches too rare. We both enjoy the struggle-and-conquering aspect of our relationship--two strong-willed people vying for dominance. I had a very negative experience with a sadistic Dom over a decade ago and fled the BDSM scene, and I have assiduously avoided Doms ever since. Pain is not my thing, nor is humiliation. Pleasure tho, now that, as a friend of mine likes to say, really cranks my tractor. And my lover, well, he knows how to drive me wild, drive all thoughts from my mind, and drive me to orgasm again and again, for hours at a time.

But being a switch, I do have an inner domme, and something in me really wants to turn tables on him. I want to push the pleasure-envelope with him, to have him leaping mindlessly under my hands, all moans and sighs and tremors. I want to control his pleasure until he is begging me to let him come, begging me to stop or he will come, begging with his whole body for the release of that ultimate superfeeling hovering at the edge of his senses.

I've mentioned it to him in the past, but we both have busy lives and we have so little opportunity to be together (perhaps three or four days a month) and as soon as he touches me, I am awash in pleasure, wet and ready and aching for him. Sometimes, after our initial heated fuckfest, I try to take the dominant role, but he is so controlled and controlling, he just won't surrender to pleasure the way I can/do. I've thought that if I bound him, it might make it easier for both of us, might keep him from topping me from the bottom, and give him something to fight against or surrender to, and while he says he will let me bind him, he hasn't yet.

Now, after all that preamble, I come to my questions... Am I hoping in vain? Is my desire to control him via pleasure destined to remain in the fantasy realm? I've considered writing a story for him, a fantasy outlining my desire and how much I would enjoy his submission, but I'm not sure how well it would be received... Any thoughts?

Sometimes in life we get so busy that we jump into what feels safe and good instead of slowing down, changing the game and/or adding something new in. It takes effort and self control to make new things happen at times.

Although your question can't really be answered because I don't really know you or you fellow that well, I think it depends on how genuine he is in saying he will let you do that verses how excited you both get when you have time together.

It could be that he hopes to avoid doing what you have both talked about.

Or it could be that you both just don't take the time to stop and switch things up.

I don't know which is the case.

In time I'm sure you'll find out.

Fury

 

[kayte]

Good evening everyone.

Hope it was a marvelous Monday for you.

The conversation going on here is worth so much.

 

[LadyAria]

Id like to know what enjoyment do people get out of it??? ive never been into pain myself..bad flashbacks of spankings before in my childhood..but what pleasure is possible from being the weaker end of the dom thing???

Okay, shall I call you Lady Vanilla instead of bitchy frog from now on? You're just trying to stir the barrel. Weaker end :::shakes head::: You need to behave before you get Lady yanked from that title.

I'll let the subs and masochists have at you for this one. An arguement can definitely be made they are the stronger of the two partners.

Anyway, we can discuss Saturday. Glad to hear Legend will watch tooka turtle. Call me before then so we can talk time and location.

 

[LadyAria]

I'll catch up on posts this weekend. Thanks for all the great discourse.

 

[kayte]

Okay, shall I call you Lady Vanilla instead of bitchy frog from now on? You're just trying to stir the barrel. Weaker end :::shakes head::: You need to behave before you get Lady yanked from that title.

I'll let the subs and masochists have at you for this one. An arguement can definitely be made they are the stronger of the two partners.

Anyway, we can discuss Saturday. Glad to hear Legend will watch tooka turtle. Call me before then so we can talk time and location.

Good morning Lady Aria ~ Nodding I guess us subs could jump in on it, not sure it is worthwhile though....

I mean I know what I am, and what "turns my crank". Now why she doesn't seem to think people are different...that the differences have value.... Shrugs....

Of course I don't care for pain myself... but intensity... That is something completely different.

 

[Shagly]

Bump.

 

[FurryFury]

Bump.

Like the pic, it should be posted in my bestiality thread!

*smirks*

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Fury

 

[landcruisergal]

Like the pic, it should be posted in my bestiality thread!

*smirks*

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Fury

"Don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto"
on pain....
What do we get out of pain? check out the many threads discussing it. Theres lots of reasons and levels to why we masochists enjoy it. Heightened sensual awareness of your body, the endorphin rush etc. I knew was a masochist long before I discovered I was a submissive. It reminds me of my place and position, its an effective tool for punishment, it teaches you endurance and there is a sense of personal satisfaction when you take something harder, longer, more intense than you have previously. ( but pride isnt an attractive quality in a sub, IMHO)

Then I found my puppyboy and now I enjoy both sides of the equation.So I consider myself a sado-masochist now.

On switching.
And I am a switch, my situation is rather complicated.
I have a PYL and a pyl so my role is dedicated to each. I would no sooner top my master, than bottom to my pup.
I have to maintain a certain head space and concept of power exchange in both situations.
I need to obey my master without question or doubts and I esp. have to keep my head in 'top space' as my pup is a strong personality.

I also have a delightful kinky partner who I both top and bottom for...thats purely fun. We talk about what we would like to do and then adopt the role.Sometimes we swap roles within that. Sometimes we fall about laughing too, or play silly games like whoever can bring the other to climax first wins a prize.

With my PYL and pyl there is no discussion or negotiation except in issues that are of concern to us outside a scene.Never within it, thats what safe words are for. The dominant partner leads, makes the rules and the sub obeys.Period.
The dom/me's pleasure is the focus.The sub is there simply to be used for pleasure and amusement. There is some lighthearted moments and laughter as well, but no complacency in our respective positions.

 

[Unccwhitegurl]

Dear Lady Aria,
i can not express as much thanks to you that is due. I have been in a "sub/dom" relationship before but it was mostly just him telling me what to do and i knew it couln't be right. Now i am talking to a new dom and i really enjoy him as a person which i think is a good thing and i mwouldn't mind being in a relationship with him as he seems to know what he is talking about and i was afriad it would be a phony like the last but thanks to your post i realized that the last one was nothing but a fake and i would be happy to enjoy another relationship with an expierenced dom and this was the push i needed i'll keep you posted....if that's okay?
Kayla