Asexuality and bdsm in my life.

[ttvttp]

Ok I am on the outside male. But on the inside whether you believe in it or not I

am genderqueer. Also I am whether you believe or not asexual. Just saying that

all this has helped me in finally revealing that I am a switch. At first I talked about

how males were better than females and claimed I was a total dominant. But

since learning about my sexuality I figured out I am a switch. I took a test on

okcupid yes its not scientific but it said that I was 36%sub, 9% dom, and 60%

switch. All of this has helped me better understand feminists and lesbian

separatists and its helped me in better understanding the way each sex is

treated. And now I do feel both sexes should be treated equally just like

different colored people should be treated the same. Im just telling you that

parts of bdsm can really help people. Thank you for your time.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm glad you are happier and understand yourself better! That's great!

 

[ttvttp]

Thank you fury may you be blessed a thousand times more.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I know that the labels 'submissive' and 'slave' are the right ones for me but not everyone falls neatly into a clearly marked box.

For some people, yourself included, labels are limiting. There is no need to sit down and try to find one word that 'defines' you. Just be who you are and enjoy everything you enjoy. Everything else is just semantics.

 

[ttvttp]

Thank you Velvet may you be blessed a thousand times more.

 

[Etoile]

I'm not sure what being genderqueer and asexual has to do with being a switch, except that they're all perfectly normal things to be. Congrats on finding yourself more.

 

[ttvttp]

I dont know it just helped me fully realize what I am.

 

[ttvttp]

Thank you Etoile may you be blessed a thousand times more.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Are you Samuelx?

 

[ttvttp]

If you are talking to me then no.

 

[ttvttp]

The name I use is majorwllr.

 

[unfoundiamond]

I have noticed a correlation

I felt very Asexual, and very queer in diffrent points in my life...

I saw the title for this thread and instantly started thinking of what it means to me...

I notice a lot of my asexuality came from repressing either my craving for BDSM or repressing thoughts or feelings I had about being (if its a percentage thing) partially queer...

I have felt a re-awakening with my SO since learning I can be who I am, and it can work for me... it can be who I am, all percentages and facets, both dominant and submissive, and within that, I am accepted for looking at women when I am out with a dominant, or I can allow my submissive to indulge in fanstasy with me... I can be all of myself...

And that has lead to the opposite of asexuality, and I don't feel repressed by society... I don't deny who I am... I indulge myself...

I also don't feel required to indulge, like before, if I didn't orgasam (whhich I don't a lot) id feel less like trying again, therefore further repressing my sexual nature. Now, if I don't cum, I didn't cum, its not me, or that im deffective or queer and that's why, or some other way of blaming it on myself passive agressively... now its just that the combination lock didn't get all three number more or less, like I just didn't get all my needs met, and that's okay, better luck next time.

I still enjoy myelf, and I feel free to enjoy myself the next time...

Maybe this post isn't what you expirienced, but this is what the concept means to me... and I thank you for provoking in me the self awareness you have called to light.

This place is rich.

 

[ttvttp]

Im glad you have found yourself.

 

[Noira]

Would like to see this test you took.

And I do feel that many aspects of BDSM are involved in our lives without being 'kinky', per se. It's just there. And it effects us all. Mmyep. I'm glad you've figured more out about yourself! I consider myself to be a switch as well, and it's not a bad thing to be at all.

 

[cutebrowngirl]

The word "asexual" makes me thing of taking earth science in grammar school. It makes me think of words like stamen, pistol,and stoma. lol. Anyway, doesn't asexual mean that you don't have a sex drive? That you aren't turned on by either sex?

 

[ttvttp]

Yes in a sexual way. Meaning that you dont want to have sex with them. The test is at okcupid.com and its only for males. okcupid.com/tests/14953394948434977331/SUB,-DOM-OR-SWITCH---for-males

 

[cutebrowngirl]

So you are saying you don't like sex and it therefore allows you to be a switch?
One question, If you don't like sex, why do you do it?

 

[ttvttp]

No im saying if I did have sex I would be a switch. I am a virgin.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

So would you desire gender re-assignment before you felt able to have sex? Do you cross dress and/or have a serious desire to live as a woman? Is there not one gender of person you're drawn to have sex with over the other?

The notion of an asexual virgin makes the subject of sexuality and genderqueerness somewhat redundant to me. If you don't plan on having sex, why should it matter what your personal sexuality is?

No judgements here, I'm just curious.

 

[ttvttp]

No I feel like both sexes on the inside not the outside. Maybe if society was more accepting I would get breasts but I dont feel the need to change my outside appearance to show that I am both sexes. And asexuality.org will explain the asexuality. And no matter what you change you still dont feel the need or desire to have sex.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

No I feel like both sexes on the inside not the outside. Maybe if society was more accepting I would get breasts but I dont feel the need to change my outside appearance to show that I am both sexes. And asexuality.org will explain the asexuality. And no matter what you change you still dont feel the need or desire to have sex.

Well this is a completely new concept to me. Will go checkout that site.

 

[marieR19]

Definately do, Velvet. That site is bookmarked for me, as I've recently come to realize I may be asexual. Oh my, so much drama over me being gay, and now this? lol

Seriously, though, I don't even fully understand it yet, but the more I read and understand and learn, the more it feels right, feels like I finally have a name for how I feel (some here may remember me posting long ago about my lack of sexual wanting for my then-girlfriend, who I totally loved and wanted to kiss, just not sex.)

ttvttp: *hugs*