Arousal, how does it work for you?

[M's girl]

Isn't it funny how the mind works sometimes? This is what I realized once more after I've debated in several threads about subjects like anal and PIV sex. Although I like PIV sex, for the intimacy it brings, it has never given me an orgasm in itself. In fact... a lot of sexual acts don't. But I still find myself aroused by them if I see them in, mainly of course, porn movies. Even anal (scenes), which does the least of all for me - and I only engage in every once in a while since M likes it so much - can turn me on sometimes.

So what is that? I know that when I practice what I see on screen it does not do anything for me, or not enough, still I get aroused. I assume more people are like that. Am I right?

 

[KrisGallagher]

*****

 

[M's girl]

I can relate to your feelings. I think anal sex is so hot when I watch it, but when I do it, it's not as good as what I thought it would be. It's just like travelling. The glossy vacation brochures often make the thought of visiting that particular place better than when you actually get a chance to be there in person.

Funny comparison. Hope it's not (the holidays) like that for you all the time?!

 

[witch_fire]

I'm very visual & imaginative in my arousal. Watching or reading porn gets me hotter than half an hour worth of foreplay with my husband. And Kris, i'm the complete opposite, watching anal and doing it is the greatest turn on for me.

 

[KarenDee]

I'm another one who really gets off on watching porn as an arousal aid. I watch 30 minutes of it and I'm ready to hump anything that gets next to me! It has to be hetero sex though, the girl-on-girl thing does nothing for me. I guess maybe I just fantasize myself being in the video...I never really thought of it that way!

 

[M's girl]

I'm another one who really gets off on watching porn as an arousal aid. I watch 30 minutes of it and I'm ready to hump anything that gets next to me! It has to be hetero sex though, the girl-on-girl thing does nothing for me. I guess maybe I just fantasize myself being in the video...I never really thought of it that way!

30 minutes? Ahum.... M and I are always 'praising' each other if we make it longer than 10 minutes before we start something ourselves . We sometimes joke we could do our entire life with probably 20 movies tops, if we start with a new scene from the same movie every time, haha. Our collection, however, is over 200 I think. Have no clue why... come to think of it.

I agree about the girl-on-girl thing.... although..... I think it's a shame that there seems to be less and less men doing oral on women in films, so if it's the only opportunity to see that... I'll take it. On the other hand it may sort of put me off, depending on how it is done. Cause in some movies it is done, IMHO, to please men more than women, a.k.a. visualized from a men's perspective (again!). Oh well....

 

[asian_princess]

As usual M's girl this is a great thread...and I really really wanted to respond LOL but...I've been sitting here for about 20 mins trying to think up something that i love to watch but doesnt really fulfill in reality and i couldnt think of anything!! so i decided to reverse the question (if you shall permit me just this once) ...i rarely get turned by watching lesbian scenes...and yet, with the right woman ...

 

[manofsteel52]

30 minutes? Ahum.... M and I are always 'praising' each other if we make it longer than 10 minutes before we start something ourselves . We sometimes joke we could do our entire life with probably 20 movies tops, if we start with a new scene from the same movie every time, haha. Our collection, however, is over 200 I think. Have no clue why... come to think of it.

I agree about the girl-on-girl thing.... although..... I think it's a shame that there seems to be less and less men doing oral on women in films, so if it's the only opportunity to see that... I'll take it. On the other hand it may sort of put me off, depending on how it is done. Cause in some movies it is done, IMHO, to please men more than women, a.k.a. visualized from a men's perspective (again!). Oh well....

I think it may have something to do with, as you said earlier, getting turned on by watching someone else enjoying it. Your mind somehow tranlates that into something that gets you aroused.
There are some things, however, that are a surefire turnoff for me under any circumstances.

 

[bisexplicit]

I think its an interesting point about how certain things in porn can be a turn on that aren't as arousing in real life. And there are certainly things like that.

However, something else I've noticed is, there are things I enjoy in real life, but I don't enjoy in porn. (For example, I love to give blow jobs, however on porn, I find them horribly dull and usually a turn-off.)

 

[asian_princess]

I think it may have something to do with, as you said earlier, getting turned on by watching someone else enjoying it. Your mind somehow tranlates that into something that gets you aroused..

I love how you put it...and it's so true. I think it's the same reason why just sound of moaning can drive you into a wild lustful frenzy (lol or am i speaking for myself )

 

[manofsteel52]

I love how you put it...and it's so true. I think it's the same reason why just sound of moaning can drive you into a wild lustful frenzy (lol or am i speaking for myself )

Oh, yeah, moaning... almost any sounds of sex are abig turn on!

 

[M's girl]

Oh, yeah, moaning... almost any sounds of sex are abig turn on!

Really? I agree up to a certain degree. But then there are these porn movies where the women start moaning like crazy before someone even touches them or so. Sometimes it just sounds and looks so totally rediculous that I find it more amusing (or sometimes even plain stupid ) so that it can be a huge turn off too.

And on that subject: why are there so many porn movies in which you don't hear the men enjoying themselves at all, not even when they cum? I don't understand that. If they don't feel like that; can't they at least pretend, fake, like most women do in those movies (as I assume)?

 

[M's girl]

I love how you put it...and it's so true. I think it's the same reason why just sound of moaning can drive you into a wild lustful frenzy (lol or am i speaking for myself )

Not as far as I am concerned. It all needs to be in, eh.... perspective, so to speak (read my previous post). But if and when it's done right a.k.a. sounds sincere.... you bet!

 

[M's girl]

I think its an interesting point about how certain things in porn can be a turn on that aren't as arousing in real life. And there are certainly things like that.

However, something else I've noticed is, there are things I enjoy in real life, but I don't enjoy in porn. (For example, I love to give blow jobs, however on porn, I find them horribly dull and usually a turn-off.)

I agree, although it depends on how it's done.. For the most part I think you're right though. For me, in the end, what works best is a variety of activities to look at. I mean.... the endless pounding in one scene (PIV sex) without anything else starts to get on my nerves as well.

Oh, and I know this contradicts what I said earlier about M and me never watching anything beyond 10 minutes or so.... but you know what I mean..

 

[manofsteel52]

Really? I agree up to a certain degree. But then there are these porn movies where the women start moaning like crazy before someone even touches them or so. Sometimes it just sounds and looks so totally rediculous that I find it more amusing (or sometimes even plain stupid ) so that it can be a huge turn off too.

Moaning in the wrong context can be aturn off, sure. I was referring to hearing sounds in the right situation.

And on that subject: why are there so many porn movies in which you don't hear the men enjoying themselves at all, not even when they cum? I don't understand that. If they don't feel like that; can't they at least pretend, fake, like most women do in those movies (as I assume)?

I think one of the reasons is that I believe the vast majority of porn is made specifically for men, and since most hetero men are so homophobic, they'd never admit to being turned on by the sight or sound of another man enjoying sex, film makers tend to ignore this aspect and focus on the women in the movies.

 

[M's girl]

As usual M's girl this is a great thread...and I really really wanted to respond LOL but...I've been sitting here for about 20 mins trying to think up something that i love to watch but doesnt really fulfill in reality and i couldnt think of anything!! so i decided to reverse the question (if you shall permit me just this once) ...i rarely get turned by watching lesbian scenes...and yet, with the right woman ...

Thank you for responding to my question . Your answer leaves me with two options to consider though...

1) You are one heck of a lucky lady enjoying and being fulfilled by every sexual activity I can think of

or

2) You have not seen that much porn yet... haha

Now.... which one is it?

Seriously though.... I think some lesbian scenes can be hot, but I have not seen many I found really exciting up to the point where I was tempted to try something myself. I think I could make love to a woman and even enjoy it but I never had the urge (or how do you say that) to actually try it. I'm very much a one-person woman (...then in this case instead of a one-man-woman) in relationships and where sex is concerned. I know I prefer living with a man and since I'm only going to have sex with the one I'm also spending my life and other activities with this sort of automatically rules out sex with women. Does that make sense?

 

[M's girl]

[QUOTE manofsteel] .... I think one of the reasons is that I believe the vast majority of porn is made specifically for men, and since most hetero men are so homophobic, they'd never admit to being turned on by the sight or sound of another man enjoying sex, film makers tend to ignore this aspect and focus on the women in the movies.[/QUOTE]

I think you are 100% right. That's what I was thinking too.
When is this (porn) industry going to wake up, for (let's keep it nice) Pete's sake!!! There are soooo many women watching porn these days and they are being totally ignored. We (women) have to put up with a lot of bullshit in those movies because otherwise it won't work for men! Can't they get over themselves where this is concerned? I think it's far different from men watching gay activities. But the sounds.... that's just part of the deal, isn't it?

 

[asian_princess]

Really? I agree up to a certain degree. But then there are these porn movies where the women start moaning like crazy before someone even touches them or so. Sometimes it just sounds and looks so totally rediculous that I find it more amusing (or sometimes even plain stupid ) so that it can be a huge turn off too.

And on that subject: why are there so many porn movies in which you don't hear the men enjoying themselves at all, not even when they cum? I don't understand that. If they don't feel like that; can't they at least pretend, fake, like most women do in those movies (as I assume)?

LOL agreeing on all points...
the difference in the vocal stylings of the participants is somewhat hilarious, the women performing her very own operatic aria while the man is infuriatingly silent.

)2) You have not seen that much porn yet... haha

LOL i surely can't compete with your 200 titles that's for sure

 

[M's girl]

LOL i surely can't compete with your 200 titles that's for sure

Oh, but that does not mean I have seen a lot more than you in the end..... just read my remark on how we never get past the first 10 minutes anyway

 

[CorsetLvr]

Really? I agree up to a certain degree. But then there are these porn movies where the women start moaning like crazy before someone even touches them or so. Sometimes it just sounds and looks so totally rediculous that I find it more amusing (or sometimes even plain stupid ) so that it can be a huge turn off too.

And on that subject: why are there so many porn movies in which you don't hear the men enjoying themselves at all, not even when they cum? I don't understand that. If they don't feel like that; can't they at least pretend, fake, like most women do in those movies (as I assume)?

Fake anything in porn is a turn off for me. Fake moans, fake orgasms, grossly enhanced breasts, etc. We used to be able to get some pretty good amateur vids, but the line between amateur and pro has gotten pretty blurry. What I liked about them was the moans and orgasms were real. I guess the net has put a pinch into that market. I also agree with the previous comment about oral sex in porn. It doesn't do much for me either although I enjoy it in real life.

There is a growing amount of female produced porn that is more couples oriented. It may not be easy to find, but worth looking for.

 

[kerkri04]

Isn't it funny how the mind works sometimes? This is what I realized once more after I've debated in several threads about subjects like anal and PIV sex. Although I like PIV sex, for the intimacy it brings, it has never given me an orgasm in itself. In fact... a lot of sexual acts don't. But I still find myself aroused by them if I see them in, mainly of course, porn movies. Even anal (scenes), which does the least of all for me - and I only engage in every once in a while since M likes it so much - can turn me on sometimes.

So what is that? I know that when I practice what I see on screen it does not do anything for me, or not enough, still I get aroused. I assume more people are like that. Am I right?

You mention several activities that don't turn you on at all, but you failed to mention what sort of things DO get you aroused. Either in porn or something else? And in real life?

 

[KrisGallagher]

fake

Fake anything in porn is a turn off for me. Fake moans, fake orgasms, grossly enhanced breasts, etc. We used to be able to get some pretty good amateur vids, but the line between amateur and pro has gotten pretty blurry. What I liked about them was the moans and orgasms were real. I guess the net has put a pinch into that market. I also agree with the previous comment about oral sex in porn. It doesn't do much for me either although I enjoy it in real life.

There is a growing amount of female produced porn that is more couples oriented. It may not be easy to find, but worth looking for.

If I even suspect that the girl coming is faking it, I stop watching.

 

[KarenDee]

I agree with the post about the blow jobs not being all that exciting. Mainly it's because of the technique used. For the life of me, I can not see why anyone would want a "high speed blow job" like what goes on in the porn videos. Slow, sensual, with a lot of eroticism is what I really like to do, not the "slam bam" types usually seen. I blame it on the time constraints placed on the film editor. They just don't have the time necessary to show what a proper blow job should be like!

 

[KrisGallagher]

*****

 

[ewopper]

I'm very visual & imaginative in my arousal. Watching or reading porn gets me hotter than half an hour worth of foreplay with my husband. And Kris, i'm the complete opposite, watching anal and doing it is the greatest turn on for me.

most women I've talked to about it say they don't like it [ana] or won't try it. The two that I have experienced it with loved it soI would say it depends on the person and their openess to try it. I've learned lately that the old saying is true what's one person's pain is another person's pleasure