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Enji said:I'm looking for a female sub right now, to get to know and explore possiblities with(shameless ad). Heh i love teasing and joking around too..
Femme dom. I switched for many years, finding the domination in submission that everyone always talks about, but my current bottom has me whipped, and I love topping him like I love cake.
Hi Molly, I have just bumped a thread that is more about dealing with a lover who is vanilla rather than breaking the news to an SO that you want to explore BDSM, but there is some discussion of both (one mention - giving her/him the book "When someone you love is kinky." Have decided to get it for my primary who is not completely vanilla but who I don't believe has it in him to go where I would desire him to go...).molly_hunter28 said:Is there such a thing as a closet sub? If so that may be me. Not sure how to break it to my significant other. He may not be in to it, which would be a bummer.
Any ideas?
molly_hunter28 said:Is there such a thing as a closet sub? If so that may be me. Not sure how to break it to my significant other. He may not be in to it, which would be a bummer.
Any ideas?
StrapFantasy said:I put myself down as sub curious, though I'm never really sure how to classify myself. Some aspects of the BDSM world turn me on beyond words, yet many others don't. I wouldn't mind at all if she tied me up and had her way with me. I dream of bending over so she can take me with a strap on, or bottoms together with a double dildo. But pain, punishment, humiliation... those kind of things just aren't my thing. I want her to take lead, to control where the sex goes, to choose what she wants me to do to her - and her to me, but outside of the bedroom, I consider us equals.
I've often wondered how I should define myself, but more I think about it, the less sure I am.![]()
Richard49 said:Sounds like you may be a bottom rather than a submissive
StrapFantasy said:Interesting you should mention that. The two words appear to be used interchangeably. Is there a specific difference?
CutieMouse said:Generally speaking, bottoms give up power for a specific time period, under specific conditions- for example, Evil_Geoff is a Dominant, but he has mentioned bottoming to raise money for charity or as part of the learning process when adding a new skill to his relationship.
Submissives are also bottoming, but it's kind of like "the next level" (although I don't like to compare things like that, as it feels elitist), in a similar way to the difference between someone who self-identifies as a submissive, versus a slave.