Are you into the asthetics or the concept?

[newsubandtop]

I guess for those who are experienced this is kind of an old question

but I'm new and willing to explore LOL

 

[desertslave]

I guess for those who are experienced this is kind of an old question

but I'm new and willing to explore LOL

OF????

I think you need to be a bit more specific.

 

[Pachet]

nevermind

 

[newsubandtop]

By aesthetics I mean the leather, wax and chains pack versus the concept, which I suppose could be summed up as the feeling of being submitted/ dominating without accessories involved

Personally I think I prefer the psycho-emotional part of bdsm but as I’ve barely
introduced any “equipment”, I can't really tell the difference, that's why I'm asking...

I was wondering if and to what extend introducing pro looking items would
enhance the effect. I suspect it could, many people use them and there must be a
reason for it, LOL I don't know about me though, I'm one of those people who avoids to have any music on because I can't focus on two things at the same time
What’s your experience, guys?

 

[Loverskitten]

By aesthetics I mean the leather, wax and chains pack versus the concept, which I suppose could be summed up as the feeling of being submitted/ dominating without accessories involved

Personally I think I prefer the psycho-emotional part of bdsm but as I’ve barely
introduced any “equipment”, I can't really tell the difference, that's why I'm asking...

I was wondering if and to what extend introducing pro looking items would
enhance the effect. I suspect it could, many people use them and there must be a
reason for it, LOL I don't know about me though, I'm one of those people who avoids to have any music on because I can't focus on two things at the same time
What’s your experience, guys?

I think they go hand in hand. A perfect example is CFnm/CMnf.
Also different toys=different sensations. People tend to explore more when they get bored which is how some people find themselves interested in BDSM in the first place.
One doesn't have to run out and buy every cliché out there but you'll find things you enjoy in time. Everyone's different.

 

[newsubandtop]

Thanks, loverskitten What's CFnm/CMnf?? I've just googled it and it's related to exhibitionism...

I haven't had time to get bored yet, I think, but I'm pretty new and trying to get to what would really get me LOL

What gadget would you recommend for someone who likes to be restraint but is not experienced?

 

[CutieMouse]

Thanks, loverskitten What's CFnm/CMnf?? I've just googled it and it's related to exhibitionism...

I haven't had time to get bored yet, I think, but I'm pretty new and trying to get to what would really get me LOL

What gadget would you recommend for someone who likes to be restraint but is not experienced?

Clothed Female / naked male or Clothed Male / naked female.

In that situation, the person in power being clothed and the person not in power being nude can be used to illustrate the disparity in power.

I'm of the opinion that the toys do not make the Top (bottom, dominant, submissive, etc). Official "BDMS TOYS" {echo} can, however, enhance the experience; it just depends on the people involved. It's sometimes just as easy to pervert everyday objects, really.

For example:

clothespins
wooden spoons
lemon reamers
chopsticks
rubber bands
panties/ lingerie
rice
belts
shoe laces
rope [Home Depot]
toothpaste
toothbrushes
wooden [paddle] hairbrushes
soap
high heels
etc

Bonus points... if one uses everyday objects, they tend to remember the experience every time the object is used for it's every day use. (ie: the midfuck tends to stick around.)

 

[newsubandtop]

Thanks for the explanation Cuttiemouse

I can't figure out the use some people would make of some of those household items. Rice? soap? toothpaste? I don't aim for pain, just for ways to limit my ability to move LOL

Just another spontaneous thought, sorry, how common is for a sub to make the suggestions?

 

[CutieMouse]

Thanks for the explanation Cuttiemouse

I can't figure out the use some people would make of some of those household items. Rice? soap? toothpaste? I don't aim for pain, just for ways to limit my ability to move LOL

Just another spontaneous thought, sorry, how common is for a sub to make the suggestions?

It's amazing how much a teaspoon of dry rice in one's shoes, limits one's desire to walk.

It's interesting how much a sliver of soap in the mouth, makes one think before speaking.

And It's fascinating what something so simple as toothpaste does to mucus membranes.



The biggest thing anyone around here will recommend (over, and over, and over) is communication. There are people who will get suggestions from a submissive and get all huffy about "topping from the bottom", but it's kinda hard for someone to know what the bottom/submissive person is into/ gets turned on by, if they never communicate what works [for them].

Some people Google BDSM checklists and use it as a conversation starter - order in pizza, open a bottle of wine, and talk, giggle, get turned on, talk.... do stuff....

 

[midwestyankee]

<snip?
Some people Google BDSM checklists and use it as a conversation starter - order in pizza, open a bottle of wine, and talk, giggle, get turned on, talk.... do stuff....

This is actually a rather unhealthy practice, CM. I'm surprised at you. Everyone knows that takeout pizza can be insanely less healthful than the ones you can make at home.

 

[LWulf]

It's interesting how much a sliver of soap in the mouth, makes one think before speaking.

And It's fascinating what something so simple as toothpaste does to mucus membranes.

I'll point out for the noobies that toothpaste swallowed should NOT be the variety that has peroxide in it.

Also, antibacterial soap shouldn't be put in the mouth (no basis for this but I don't think the stomach needs antibacterial anything. They found one of the contributing factors to colon/prostate cancer was swallowing mouth wash, so I figure antibacterial can't be too much better). Just use the standard old fashioned variety that has lye in it.

Always use the three S's:
Safe
Sane
conSensual

OP topic: full on concept for me, aesthetics are just nonsensical extras

 

[Stella_Omega]

You don't swallow the toothpaste, sheesh! It doesn't go anywhere near your mouth, in fact.

 

[LWulf]

a la wiki:
"(mucous membranes) line cavities that are exposed to the external environment and internal organs. They are at several places contiguous with skin: at the nostrils, the lips of the mouth, the eyelids, the ears, the genital area, and the anus."

Of course, there are other areas of the body that have mucous membranes, my initial concept in relation to toothpaste was in making someone swallow it.

Wherever you put it, I still stand that it shouldn't have peroxide in it.

Here's a snippet of what it says on my toothpaste (with peroxide) box:
If more than what is used for brushing is accidentally swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away.

Gone are the days of swallowing toothpaste to give yourself a mild temperature to get out of going to school.

So which mucous membrane is it that is being alluded to? I doubt it's the ears, nor the eyes and the way you say "nowhere near the mouth" tends to exclude the nose, so I'm guessing either the anus or genitals.

"Toothpaste- seems to be quite popular. Milder burning/hot sensation. Fluoride/Aluminum has been questioned in connection with Alzheimer's Disease. Fluoride has also been questioned about it's toxicity."
a la bdsm education

Hmm, I haven't heard about fluoride being harmful, maybe that's why I... I... what was I saying?

 

[Loverskitten]

Sometimes, you just need to pony up the dough at a sex shop for things. For me, warming liquids for the genital areas is one of these. I learned my lesson with a Chineese massage oil I used once while masturbating..... HOLY SHIT that hurt! I think I actually burned myself. The label was all in Chineese but I'm sure it said "Never ever put this shit on your vagina. Ever."

 

[kiwi_submissive]

For some people it has a lot to do with their particular fetishes. Myself I would never wear latex because it does nothing for me but for others they wear it as often as they can.

 

[Stella_Omega]

...either the anus or genitals...

Many of us consider our anus to be part and parcel of our genitals, just saying.

Personally, I crave the hurt that Ladykitten doesn't like-- chili oil, ginger, Tiger balm it's all good. Takes all sorts, dont it?

Back to the original question though, I would enjoy the aesthetics more often if I had a chance to. Right now it''s kind of all slap dash, so we don't worry about wearing pretty clothes.

 

[newsubandtop]

Rice, uh? I have actually seen that in a film. As for the soap, it is too close to the phrase for my taste.

Besides, I am so well-behaved I don’t think any master would need to consider torture, does that make me a boring sub?

Thanks for everyone’s suggestions anyway. I intend to stick to bondage within a merely sexual context and I want to save myself that embarrassing trip to the sex shop. Any ideas that wouldn't require particular skills or knowledge? Thank you !!!

 

[CutieMouse]

Rice, uh? I have actually seen that in a film. As for the soap, it is too close to the phrase for my taste.

Besides, I am so well-behaved I don’t think any master would need to consider torture, does that make me a boring sub?

Thanks for everyone’s suggestions anyway. I intend to stick to bondage within a merely sexual context and I want to save myself that embarrassing trip to the sex shop. Any ideas that wouldn't require particular skills or knowledge? Thank you !!!

Umm... some people do those things for fun. Torture, punishment, etc has nothing to do with it.

If you are too embarrassed to walk into a sex shop, purchase things online?

 

[newsubandtop]

Sorry, Cutie, I find it so hard to think of toothpaste or soap as sources of pleasure that I just assumed they would be used for discipline LOL

The trouble for me is not in purchasing the stuff per se, but in knowing what's on offer that could work for me but I'm getting there

 

[Stella_Omega]

Any ideas that wouldn't require particular skills or knowledge? Thank you

Well, there's the thing, yanno.

Vanilla humping up and down is kinda like that. BDSM is a lot more like rocket science-- when you consider that some parts of rockets are actually simple enough, and some parts are really complicated and could blow up if you don't know what you're doing. If you DO know what you're doing you're on your way to the moon!

Okay, if what you want is bondage, one of the simplest props is a broom handle. It has to be sturdy, not a dollar store flimsy plastic thing. It can be placed behind your shoulders and your arms bound down along it so they are spread right out.
Or, it can be tucked behind your knees, with your wrists bound to it-- if your legs are positioned outside of your wrists, it's a very sexy way to keep your legs open and up. If it seems like he just can't keep the rope from sliding, you guys can add eyehooks at strategic locations. Eye hooks at the far ends mean the pole can be anchored to whatever you've got.

Chairs are nice, and you can tip them onto their front and shove someone's tummy down between the legs, leaving them butt-up. Or you can turn a table upside down and use the legs to put you into all kinds of positions...

There are some fantastic websites around for knots -- which have to be done in ways that won't cut off circulation to a danger point, or pop a joint, like I did to a boyfriend back in the bad old days before all of this was findable-- there's that skill and knowledge thing again...

 

[newsubandtop]

Okay, if what you want is bondage, one of the simplest props is a broom handle. It has to be sturdy, not a dollar store flimsy plastic thing. It can be placed behind your shoulders and your arms bound down along it so they are spread right out.
Or, it can be tucked behind your knees, with your wrists bound to it-- if your legs are positioned outside of your wrists, it's a very sexy way to keep your legs open and up. If it seems like he just can't keep the rope from sliding, you guys can add eyehooks at strategic locations. Eye hooks at the far ends mean the pole can be anchored to whatever you've got.

Chairs are nice, and you can tip them onto their front and shove someone's tummy down between the legs, leaving them butt-up. Or you can turn a table upside down and use the legs to put you into all kinds of positions...

There are some fantastic websites around for knots -- which have to be done in ways that won't cut off circulation to a danger point, or pop a joint, like I did to a boyfriend back in the bad old days before all of this was findable-- there's that skill and knowledge thing again...

That is an idea!! LOL I'd have never thought of a broom handle I've tried the table, although not upside down and it was hot

I will stick to the basics, nothing too experimental, I promise It is true that bondage must not be taken lightly. I don't think I would need my rope too tight though, not going anywhere

I've had a look at some bondage videos suggested in this forum. It's artsy!

Thanks guys for taking the time to reply