Are most cuckold/hotwife relationships destined to fail?

[Luv4hotwives]

I lived the lifestyle and what's the expression? Fuck around and find out? Seems oddly fitting! I've long had cuckold fantasies. Eventually my ex wife and I started to live the lifestyle. It came to an end when she left me for her bull/fwb.

I'll be honest, if we were not in the lifestyle, I believe she would have cheated anyway. She told me as much. So while not fair to say the lifestyle made our marriage fail, I'm sure it didn't help.

I noticed over years many guys talking about the lifestyle are divorced. Got me thinking. Even if it isn't the direct cause of a relationship ending, is the simple fact a couple agrees to do it a sign the relationship is likely doomed? I know there are people who stay happily married for decades. However, for the vast majority of people, is it basically a sign of not if but when?

I'm interested to hear the experiences of other current or former cuckolds and hotwives.

I'm probably personally done with being a cuckold in real life at this point. I'll probably continue writing erotica on the subject and use that as an outlet, but any future relationships will most likely remain monogamous for me.

 

[littlecordelera]

My husband and I have been married for 22 years, and we were a cuckold couple before we ever got married. Still are. He says he can't imagine ever leaving me, and I can't imagine ever leaving him.

 

[lc69hunter]

It depends totally on the core bond between husband and wife remaining strong, and that is so for ANY relationship, monogamous or not. That bond needs to be nurtured and tended to on a regular basis. If that bond is and remains strong, a marriage can withstand almost anything. Never intentionally hurt the person you loved and married, and if you do, make it right.

 

[littlecordelera]

I lived the lifestyle and what's the expression? Fuck around and find out? Seems oddly fitting! I've long had cuckold fantasies. Eventually my ex wife and I started to live the lifestyle. It came to an end when she left me for her bull/fwb.

I'll be honest, if we were not in the lifestyle, I believe she would have cheated anyway. She told me as much. So while not fair to say the lifestyle made our marriage fail, I'm sure it didn't help.

Maybe I should point out that there seems to be some stark differences between your situation and ours.

I've never wanted a sexually monogamous relationship, but I've always been honest about that. For any guy that seemed to be getting serious, I made sure he knew, but I was open about this with close friends, too. As you can imagine, that information had a tendency to run guys off, but to my husband it was everything he ever wanted to hear. (Actually, he knew through a mutual friend before we even began dating.) This was a huge commonality between us, and although we didn't really know it at the time, it cemented our relationship.

As strange as it may sound, I don't condone cheating. I try not to date guys who are cheating, but there have been exceptions to that rule. (Disclaimer: My husband actually likes it when I "cheat," and sometimes I see guys without his knowledge. But eventually he has to find out; otherwise, he doesn't get to enjoy the fact that I "cheated." (That probably sounds incredibly weird, but it's what he likes.))

My husband and I believe in marriage. We believe in commitment. We both understand that having someone to support you through this difficult life is a blessing. I'm not pretending our marriage is perfect, but it is really good. I wish I could say that we had it all planned out, that we knew exactly what we were doing when it came to picking a mate, but in all honestly, we just got lucky. If I had it all to do over, I would pick him again.

 

[curiouschattycouple]

This is the main reason we have not pursued hotwifing and our joint fantasy of MFM - we dont want to ruin a good thing. We have come close to following through, but each time we find a reason to stop - is it because we are afraid?

In the meantime, sharing our thoughts/desires/fantasies and role playing them with eachother we have become far more open with each other, our communication is better, our sex is HOT, and our relationship is so much stronger.

 

[Badguy4u]

Never say never, but in every marriage I know about where the husband wants or approves of his wife having sex with other partners, the wife eventually falls in love or craves someone else and they end up in divorce.

 

[Str4ng3rth4nf1ct1on]

Not all are destined to fail, but I suspect many do, for all manner of reasons.
My wife and I have been married for 35 years and she was cuckolding me before then. I couldn’t imagine a life without her or what we do. I genuinely believe it’s in my DNA - my wife’s too perhaps. Being a cuckold is my default state. It’s natural. Like I was born into it. I knew from our first date that my future wife was non monogamous and all it did was make me want her all the more. I feel lucky that we met as early as we did, because I think I would have struggled finding a woman who understood me and I know she feels the same way.
Some people get it…….but many don’t.

 

[Badguy4u]

Not all are destined to fail, but I suspect many do, for all manner of reasons.
My wife and I have been married for 35 years and she was cuckolding me before then. I couldn’t imagine a life without her or what we do. I genuinely believe it’s in my DNA - my wife’s too perhaps. Being a cuckold is my default state. It’s natural. Like I was born into it. I knew from our first date that my future wife was non monogamous and all it did was make me want her all the more. I feel lucky that we met as early as we did, because I think I would have struggled finding a woman who understood me and I know she feels the same way.
Some people get it…….but many don’t.

Do you watch and masturbate or your just aware she's fooling around and don't mind?

 

[Luv4hotwives]

Maybe I should point out that there seems to be some stark differences between your situation and ours.

I've never wanted a sexually monogamous relationship, but I've always been honest about that. For any guy that seemed to be getting serious, I made sure he knew, but I was open about this with close friends, too. As you can imagine, that information had a tendency to run guys off, but to my husband it was everything he ever wanted to hear. (Actually, he knew through a mutual friend before we even began dating.) This was a huge commonality between us, and although we didn't really know it at the time, it cemented our relationship.

As strange as it may sound, I don't condone cheating. I try not to date guys who are cheating, but there have been exceptions to that rule. (Disclaimer: My husband actually likes it when I "cheat," and sometimes I see guys without his knowledge. But eventually he has to find out; otherwise, he doesn't get to enjoy the fact that I "cheated." (That probably sounds incredibly weird, but it's what he likes.))

My husband and I believe in marriage. We believe in commitment. We both understand that having someone to support you through this difficult life is a blessing. I'm not pretending our marriage is perfect, but it is really good. I wish I could say that we had it all planned out, that we knew exactly what we were doing when it came to picking a mate, but in all honestly, we just got lucky. If I had it all to do over, I would pick him again.

Thanks for sharing! It sounds like you two have a very strong and fun marriage!

It's interesting that going into it you both desired the same thing. I'm sure many of the relationships that failed didn't have that.

Interestingly I don't think my ex likes sexual monogamy, but she also doesn't like... being "allowed" to sleep around. That probably sounds weird. I think she feels like it devalues her if a man is willing to share her. Her current partner is very much the jealous type and not into sharing at all, which she seems to like. At the same time, I know she cheated on him more than once early on. I stay out of that though, they both seem happy, and it's not really my business at this point.

I totally get the cheating being hot. My ex actually did cheat at least once before she learned my cuckold fantasies, and told me after. It turned me on when she finally told me. Then once I was looking at her phone, it sounds bad but she already looked through my phone daily so I assumed she'd have nothing to hide herself. She was sexting multiple guys, complimenting their dicks, telling them they were bigger than me, that I couldn't satisfy her, saying she wanted to ride them. It had been going on awhile. I did bring it up and let her know I didn't care and found it hot. She didn't seem to like me looking though and later changed how she messaged so I wouldn't be able to look. Eventually she did become a hotwife, but I think she would have honestly preferred cheating in secret.

I guess that's another difference is you don't actually "cheat" and when you do you still want your husband to be a part of it by sharing the details. It really sounds like you two are a perfect match.

 

[Luv4hotwives]

This is the main reason we have not pursued hotwifing and our joint fantasy of MFM - we dont want to ruin a good thing. We have come close to following through, but each time we find a reason to stop - is it because we are afraid?

In the meantime, sharing our thoughts/desires/fantasies and role playing them with eachother we have become far more open with each other, our communication is better, our sex is HOT, and our relationship is so much stronger.

I get the hesitation. It can be so easy to say let's do this, but it's much much harder to undo it once it happens.

 

[switchersm]

My wife and I have been each married before and the divorces had both been dirty.
So we decided at the start of our marriage to be open together in everything of our life. That made many situations easy to manage in a positiv way.
My wife and I started with her taking control of my cock and my orgasms with cock cages . It was on my wish and we had long discussions about our feelings , wishes and fantasies in that context. And we made a half year test , to see if it works. During and after these sex months we had still long talks until we decided to change our sexlife that way. Cuckolding was discussed as a possibility, but only if I would be OK with the then possible lover. No bull. My wife wanted me and him be sympathic together and me always included. Finally she cucked me in agreement 6 years later. Her lover fucks her to heaven, something I never could. But we are still in deep love together and we have a lot sex together in our special way.
Even if our sex life occasionally wobbles into "normal" everyday life, we are on an equal footing, share the housework and gardening and make our decisions together. Our bond has become even stronger through our sex life and cuckolding.

 

[littlecordelera]

Never say never, but in every marriage I know about where the husband wants or approves of his wife having sex with other partners, the wife eventually falls in love or craves someone else and they end up in divorce.

I consider those husbands lucky. Why would they want to remain married to someone who is so easily swayed?

 

[lc69hunter]

Never say never, but in every marriage I know about where the husband wants or approves of his wife having sex with other partners, the wife eventually falls in love or craves someone else and they end up in divorce.

I was in the game 30-35 years ago, and have stayed in contact with many of the couples. Only two have failed, and I could predicted one of them. The other was a surprise. The one I could have predicted? A loving cuckold relationship is one where all parties get satisfaction, and she did not respect her husband and his needs

 

[jakie69]

I think there are bound to be some that fail because the reality is not always the same as the fantasy, my marriage has never been stronger and we love our lifestyle. We know others in the same situation who say it made their relationships stronger and the bond between them has never been better. I think it depends on the people involved and how they handle it

 

[HottieOlwen]

I lived the lifestyle and what's the expression? Fuck around and find out? Seems oddly fitting! I've long had cuckold fantasies. Eventually my ex wife and I started to live the lifestyle. It came to an end when she left me for her bull/fwb.

I'll be honest, if we were not in the lifestyle, I believe she would have cheated anyway. She told me as much. So while not fair to say the lifestyle made our marriage fail, I'm sure it didn't help.

I noticed over years many guys talking about the lifestyle are divorced. Got me thinking. Even if it isn't the direct cause of a relationship ending, is the simple fact a couple agrees to do it a sign the relationship is likely doomed? I know there are people who stay happily married for decades. However, for the vast majority of people, is it basically a sign of not if but when?

I'm interested to hear the experiences of other current or former cuckolds and hotwives.

I'm probably personally done with being a cuckold in real life at this point. I'll probably continue writing erotica on the subject and use that as an outlet, but any future relationships will most likely remain monogamous for me.

I would respectfully disagree with your suggestion that the lifestyle didn't help when your marriage failed. Who suggested you adopt the said lifestyle? You or your ex? In our case it was my cuckold. He's pathetically equipped and suffers from prem. ej. When he suggested it, over 28 years ago, I suspected that he wanted to 'play away' too. I couldn't have been more wrong! I love Richard and I'd never leave him, but I also love fucking. I get the best of both worlds, a loving cuckold and lots of cock from my lovers. Richard gets to watch sometimes, and he always cleans me up afterwards. It is the best lifestyle I could ever have imagined.

 

[HottieOlwen]

My husband and I have been married for 22 years, and we were a cuckold couple before we ever got married. Still are. He says he can't imagine ever leaving me, and I can't imagine ever leaving him.

I'm in total agreement with you. We seem to have similar experiences, albeit for the first 2 years of our marriage, we had a 'normal' lifestyle, if you can call it that. Richard is pathetically small in the cock department and suffers from prem. ej. It was he who suggested that I become a Hot Wife. I'm so glad I did! I love my cuckold dearly, and would never leave him.

 

[pixie07]

I think every couple is different but in our case being in a cuckold relationship has helped even saved our marriage.we are each others best friend but I don’t have the equipment or ability to satisfy her sexually . her boyfriends may fuck her way better than I am capable of but they will never break our bond.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I can't speak for anyone but I've seen so many fail. Look at yogahotwife/Jen.

I wouldn't do it for that reason.

 

[JodieToday]

It depends totally on the core bond between husband and wife remaining strong, and that is so for ANY relationship, monogamous or not. That bond needs to be nurtured and tended to on a regular basis. If that bond is and remains strong, a marriage can withstand almost anything. Never intentionally hurt the person you loved and married, and if you do, make it r

It depends totally on the core bond between husband and wife remaining strong, and that is so for ANY relationship, monogamous or not. That bond needs to be nurtured and tended to on a regular basis. If that bond is and remains strong, a marriage can withstand almost anything. Never intentionally hurt the person you loved and married, and if you do, make it right.

Great reply. Communication and honesty are a good start as well as compatibility and if not actually interested in the other person's interests, at least be supportive. Beyond sex. I wasn't nearly as interested in science (initially but it grew on me) as my SO and I will admit, check out Thunderbolts Project, YouTube and look for one by Andy Hall. Hell of a good narrator EXCEPT I couldn't make it through ten minutes if it is an evening listen. I was supportive, not interested (at first) and the shit put me to sleep.

Anyway... it would be interesting to do a poll of different age groups, maybe broken down by the decade as early Boomers and late Boomers are totally different people. I can't even say how many divorcee females I have heard mention that their husband was a big narcissist and that being the main reason for divorce.

I would be willing to bet that the ratio of "narcissists" changes depending on, well, for instance, the entitled Millenials as an age bracket I would assume has more narcissists. I know that was a big generalization but again, I am hearing that from a LOT of ex-wives as THE reason.

 

[JodieToday]

Anyway... it would be interesting to do a poll of different age groups, maybe broken down by the decade as early Boomers and late Boomers are totally different people. I can't even say how many divorcee females I have heard mention that their husband was a big narcissist and that being the main reason for divorce.

I would be willing to bet that the ratio of "narcissists" changes depending on, well, for instance, the entitled Millenials as an age bracket I would assume has more narcissists. I know that was a big generalization but again, I am hearing that from a LOT of ex-wives as THE reason.

oh, no DIS on Andy Hall of the Thunderbolts Projct (electric universe counter to false Newtonian gravitational mainstream obsolete science) Andrew has the smoothest but monotone voice, maybe in the universe and that is what put me to sleep.

 

[lc69hunter]

Anyway... it would be interesting to do a poll of different age groups, maybe broken down by the decade as early Boomers and late Boomers are totally different people. I can't even say how many divorcee females I have heard mention that their husband was a big narcissist and that being the main reason for divorce.

I would be willing to bet that the ratio of "narcissists" changes depending on, well, for instance, the entitled Millenials as an age bracket I would assume has more narcissists. I know that was a big generalization but again, I am hearing that from a LOT of ex-wives as THE reason.

I am early Boomer, widowed for three years. However, I have a good, long time friend, in her 40's, getting divorced because her husband was the classic narcissist. Don't know what generation that is, but your description hits the spot

 

[Luv4hotwives]

My wife and I have been each married before and the divorces had both been dirty.
So we decided at the start of our marriage to be open together in everything of our life. That made many situations easy to manage in a positiv way.
My wife and I started with her taking control of my cock and my orgasms with cock cages . It was on my wish and we had long discussions about our feelings , wishes and fantasies in that context. And we made a half year test , to see if it works. During and after these sex months we had still long talks until we decided to change our sexlife that way. Cuckolding was discussed as a possibility, but only if I would be OK with the then possible lover. No bull. My wife wanted me and him be sympathic together and me always included. Finally she cucked me in agreement 6 years later. Her lover fucks her to heaven, something I never could. But we are still in deep love together and we have a lot sex together in our special way.
Even if our sex life occasionally wobbles into "normal" everyday life, we are on an equal footing, share the housework and gardening and make our decisions together. Our bond has become even stronger through our sex life and cuckolding.

It's interesting you were both on your 2nd marriage. Do you think that openness and at least some of that dynamic out in the open in the beginning played a major role in your marriage being a successful one?

 

[Luv4hotwives]

My wife and I have been each married before and the divorces had both been dirty.
So we decided at the start of our marriage to be open together in everything of our life. That made many situations easy to manage in a positiv way.
My wife and I started with her taking control of my cock and my orgasms with cock cages . It was on my wish and we had long discussions about our feelings , wishes and fantasies in that context. And we made a half year test , to see if it works. During and after these sex months we had still long talks until we decided to change our sexlife that way. Cuckolding was discussed as a possibility, but only if I would be OK with the then possible lover. No bull. My wife wanted me and him be sympathic together and me always included. Finally she cucked me in agreement 6 years later. Her lover fucks her to heaven, something I never could. But we are still in deep love together and we have a lot sex together in our special way.
Even if our sex life occasionally wobbles into "normal" everyday life, we are on an equal footing, share the housework and gardening and make our decisions together. Our bond has become even stronger through our sex life and cuckolding.

It's interesting you were both on your 2nd marriage. Do you think that openness and at least some of that dynamic out in the open in the beginning played a major role in your marriage being a successful one?

 

[Luv4hotwives]

Never say never, but in every marriage I know about where the husband wants or approves of his wife having sex with other partners, the wife eventually falls in love or craves someone else and they end up in divorce.

I have no reason to doubt the folks who've stayed together for decades will continue to do so, but I do wonder what percentage do they represent? I remember thinking my wife and I were different than the failed relationships, sex is sex and love is love. Of course, we were not special. Idk, it's hard to say. I can't judge others based on my experience, because I think things would've eventually fallen apart anyway. I believe she would have cheated and still left me for someone else, but maybe on a different time table. From what I've been hearing most of the successful relationships established much of the dynamic from the very beginning. Maybe it's when it comes up in already established relationship where more often than not, it's just a shortcut to the end.

 

[Luv4hotwives]

Not all are destined to fail, but I suspect many do, for all manner of reasons.
My wife and I have been married for 35 years and she was cuckolding me before then. I couldn’t imagine a life without her or what we do. I genuinely believe it’s in my DNA - my wife’s too perhaps. Being a cuckold is my default state. It’s natural. Like I was born into it. I knew from our first date that my future wife was non monogamous and all it did was make me want her all the more. I feel lucky that we met as early as we did, because I think I would have struggled finding a woman who understood me and I know she feels the same way.
Some people get it…….but many don’t.

I've been noticing a pattern that many of the couples in the lifestyle that are still together established things from the very beginning. Do you think that played a big role in your success?