Hotwives, what do you like about it?

[Luv4hotwives]

I found my last post educational. I like learning about other perspectives.

I find cuckolds sometimes dominate the conversations in the lifestyle. I'd really love to learn more of the hotwife perspective. Hotwives, what do you find appealing about the lifestyle in particular? Is it the variety of men? The boost to your ego?

If your relationship has a humiliation aspect in regards to your partner, do you get turned on by humiliating or denying him? Or do you go through the paces because he enjoys it and you like seeing him satisfied? Do you genuinely get something from other men that you don't get from you husband/boyfriend?

Also, how did you get into the lifestyle? What feelings did you have about it when first being introduced to it or learning about it? When did you realize it was for you? Is there anything about the lifestyle you don't like?

By no means am I expecting anyone to answer all the questions. These are just some of the things I'm curious about in regards to your experiences and perspectives. Please share your thoughts!

 

[lc69hunter]

I am a male who spent years playing in the lifestyle as the boyfriend/other man. I know what both parties have told me about their experiences and feelings, and I am also going to follow this thread to see some of the answers from women. If done right, it can be a rush for all three parties

 

[switchersm]

We started with keeping my hubby's dick locked with cock cages on his own wish. It became permanent after some months. I discovered, that I love the control, the total control of his orgasms. The denial turns me on extremely. And I like to expose him naked caged to others at nudist beaches, public saunas or also in private to some close friends. Let others see, that I am in control. First times it seemed to be humiliating for him, but hubby discovered his exhibitionistic side and likes the exposure too.
Cuckolding happened years later. It's with one man only since nearly 8 years now. On my lover's big cock I rush from orgasm to orgasm, something hubby isn't able to. He watches, kisses me or fondles my tits, while I fuck and also eats my cum filled pussy out. That's not humiliating, he has done that always in former times with his own cum voluntary. For me it's simply very comfortable. No need to leave the bed to use the bath. I can kiss with my lover or suck his cock hard again, while hubby licks me to another orgasm and clean for the next round with my lover. A bit humiliating is, when I sometimes demand hubby to clean my lover's cock. Hubby isn't bi, but obeys when I demand it, to make me happy, because I so love to see that.
So in all in all, our cuckolding is a win win situation for us. I get fantastic orgasms by intercourse and in combination with my control of hubby's dick a constant turn on. Hubby lives out his submissive needs and desires and not to forget, my lover, who can fuck my cunt craving for his cock whenever he feels like it and has time

 

[Luv4hotwives]

Honestly ... it's as simple as I just really love getting fucked, and I find lots of other people attractive. I love the adventure of someone new the variety, the taboo, and being watched.

I'm also bi, and slightly prefer women to men, so this lifestyle works great for me!

Hubby isn't a cuck, more of a Stag -- no humiliation allowed. He doesn't deserve it either -- he's an amazing husband and lover with an above average size cock who fucks me well! He also loves watching me, calling me his slutty real life personal porn star ... which I love and turns me on!

Does he ever play too? Does he get off on you playing or is he just confident enough that it doesn't bother him?

 

[Luv4hotwives]

We started with keeping my hubby's dick locked with cock cages on his own wish. It became permanent after some months. I discovered, that I love the control, the total control of his orgasms. The denial turns me on extremely. And I like to expose him naked caged to others at nudist beaches, public saunas or also in private to some close friends. Let others see, that I am in control. First times it seemed to be humiliating for him, but hubby discovered his exhibitionistic side and likes the exposure too.
Cuckolding happened years later. It's with one man only since nearly 8 years now. On my lover's big cock I rush from orgasm to orgasm, something hubby isn't able to. He watches, kisses me or fondles my tits, while I fuck and also eats my cum filled pussy out. That's not humiliating, he has done that always in former times with his own cum voluntary. For me it's simply very comfortable. No need to leave the bed to use the bath. I can kiss with my lover or suck his cock hard again, while hubby licks me to another orgasm and clean for the next round with my lover. A bit humiliating is, when I sometimes demand hubby to clean my lover's cock. Hubby isn't bi, but obeys when I demand it, to make me happy, because I so love to see that.
So in all in all, our cuckolding is a win win situation for us. I get fantastic orgasms by intercourse and in combination with my control of hubby's dick a constant turn on. Hubby lives out his submissive needs and desires and not to forget, my lover, who can fuck my cunt craving for his cock whenever he feels like it and has time

Once the cage became permanent, did you two stop having sex? It sounds like he's good with his mouth, did you miss having satisfying sex in the 8 years before taking other lovers?

 

[switchersm]

Once the cage became permanent, did you two stop having sex? It sounds like he's good with his mouth, did you miss having satisfying sex in the 8 years before taking other lovers?

I only stopped having intercourse, because my hubby - as also the men before him - couldn't fuck me to orgasms.
So I didn't need his cock in my pussy, but instead I needed his busy tongue whenever I felt like it. Our sex, I deliberately say our, was and still is a lot of cuddling, kissing, mutual massaging of course oral service for me and that was and is very satisfying for both of us. Because that's how we still do it today, even when I fuck my lover at the weekends. Of course, my husband doesn't have the normal cum and orgasm sex, his sex takes place more in his head and by living out his devoted inclinations, especially as my lick servant.

 

[whatahoot]

When my husband and I were in the lifestyle, it was intended to be more as swingers but we ended up doing a lot more independent play than together so it felt more like a hotwife dynamic. Similar to what AlyBun said, I just really enjoy getting fucked. I love the variety of men and the variety of experiences that comes along with that. It's definitely an ego boost to have so many different men interested in me, especially finding out that there were guys in my everyday life that were interested and I had no idea about it until they found out I was available.

My husband and I certainly had a good sex life, but there's something about a purely sexual encounter that makes it more exciting. It's fun to have a fling with a young guy who is eager to have you and then the very next day be with an older man who I can be submissive to. Having random hookups at work in the middle of the day, going to a bar and knowing that if I happen to meet someone I could go home with them. I also got a huge rush from coming home to my husband after getting fucked. I felt so dirty and I guess in that sense I did feel like I was humiliating my husband a bit. He was never big into sloppy seconds or cleaning me up so sometimes I wouldn't tell him and would enjoy knowing that he was fucking me with someone else's cum inside of me.

 

[marriedpervs]

Honestly ... it's as simple as I just really love getting fucked, and I find lots of other people attractive. I love the adventure of someone new the variety, the taboo, and being watched.

I'm also bi, and slightly prefer women to men, so this lifestyle works great for me!

Hubby isn't a cuck, more of a Stag -- no humiliation allowed. He doesn't deserve it either -- he's an amazing husband and lover with an above average size cock who fucks me well! He also loves watching me, calling me his slutty real life personal porn star ... which I love and turns me on!

Sounds like we have the exact same life! Well spoken baby.

 

[And4778]

Honestly ... it's as simple as I just really love getting fucked, and I find lots of other people attractive. I love the adventure of someone new the variety, the taboo, and being watched.

I'm also bi, and slightly prefer women to men, so this lifestyle works great for me!

Hubby isn't a cuck, more of a Stag -- no humiliation allowed. He doesn't deserve it either -- he's an amazing husband and lover with an above average size cock who fucks me well! He also loves watching me, calling me his slutty real life personal porn star ... which I love and turns me on!

Good for you, I'm glad ,because no one gets hurt, everybody's happy,except me because I'm 2000 miles away from you !

 

[whenagain]

I only stopped having intercourse, because my hubby - as also the men before him - couldn't fuck me to orgasms.
So I didn't need his cock in my pussy, but instead I needed his busy tongue whenever I felt like it. Our sex, I deliberately say our, was and still is a lot of cuddling, kissing, mutual massaging of course oral service for me and that was and is very satisfying for both of us. Because that's how we still do it today, even when I fuck my lover at the weekends. Of course, my husband doesn't have the normal cum and orgasm sex, his sex takes place more in his head and by living out his devoted inclinations, especially as my lick servant.

Amazing

 

[And4778]

Thanks for the great description !

 

[MorlockIam]

Cuck here but will answer from the perspective of the "hotwife" or "Cuckoldress" as I called her in our Female Led Relationship.

Brief intro, being cuckolded was always something this sub male thought he would draw the line at. My ex cheated on me and I only found out until afterwards and the more I thought about it the more I wondered what it would have been like if she had of been more upfront about her desires.

So anyway, my lady was already seeing younger men for sex and sometimes women for casual sex before she met me. In that sense not much changed for her other than adding that to a steady relationship with a submissive man. She is naturally dominant and as I spoke to her about FLR she realized her previous relationship was also FLR without knowing it.

She has a friend who is in a long term relationship which is also cuckold as her partner can no longer have erections.

So when she met me, we chatted and I was upfront early on about what I was looking for. She liked the idea of being able to see "Young bucks" when she wanted to as well as having a relationship. She also liked it was all one way as she did not like the idea of me also seeing others.

There is some humiliation sometimes, she will take calls from lovers in front or me or send me out of the room. I have been denied sex or expected to "finish her off" when she comes home from a date if her date wasn't great or she just wants more. My orgasms come second if at all. I get locked in chastity when she is on dates.

I'm 50 so can't compare to a 18-25 year old and I know she likes the variety as well as the ego boost. She sometimes sees women as well. I don't watch but she tells me about it afterwards.

She sees others when she feels like it and chooses her lovers.

 

[And4778]

She sounds like a spoiled brat without any regard for you whatsoever. Ever think about lining up a couple of horse cocks to thoroughly fuck the crap out and see how she likes it

 

[gtnlynn]

My wife was getting a lot of pressure from younger men she met through the medical office where she worked. She had shown in college that sex with other men could just be a fun activity without impacting our relationship. We agreed she could have sex under certain conditions, and in her mid-30's she had a few one-nighters. Then she just stopped never to do it again. She enjoyed being desired by younger and older men, but the sex was not very good (with one exception).

 

[Gr82meetu2]

Great thread
I love the frank feedback

 

[LexiSmiles92]

My marriage (if an identity/definition is necessary) falls into the Hotwire/cuckold box ... and has for the better part of 5 years (we've now been married 9). I'll answer the original questions in the order I think works best (which isn't always an objective "best" lol )

How did we start? Poorly. Regrettably. Insert other negative adverbs. I had a brief affair that had nothing to do with love, lack of love, neglect, disrespect (except on my part, obviously) ( I mean there was "no lack of respect" between my husband and I prior to said affair). It was purely animalistic based upon a "type" of guy I fancied in college though never experienced). I hate that I did it and confessed quickly. Which led to ... LOTS of talking. We tried the counseling thing to save us ... but it wasn't really hitting us right. We almost ended and then we got honest and once he really really really got it that it was ONLY about sex ... we reconciled and through LOTS more talking we realized it aroused us both and that on some level ... we fit kind of naturally into the hotwife/cuckold box (though we make it our own. delete stereotypes)

What is the appeal? Variety of men? Boost to my ego? Variety of men? Ummmmmmm I guess we'd have to narrow down the idea of "variety"? In our 4+ years, I've had 4 long term bfs (not a fan of the term "bull"). Counting my husband, I've bed the whopping total of 5 men lol. So its not "variety" if we "variety" mean lots and lots of men. That's not me. If I had to say what the appeal was, its twofold:

1. From earlier, there's a "type" that I love sex with. Sex of the taken, vigorous, raw, fucking kind. I love sex and I'm really good at it ... and this is where I sparkle. But I also love the kind that my husband provides/is built for ... gentle, intimate, romantic, loving, attentive, etc. On the one hand, it's athletic and masculine and pushed my envelopes. On the other, it's about connecting, expressing, loving. So that's a huge appeal.
2. The second "appeal" is connected to your next set of questions dealing with humiliation. I wouldn't say that I enjoy the very negative connotations attached to the word "humiliation" ... I would prefer humbling. Potato potawto, I guess. But I don't act cruelly and am not mean, in any way shape or form. My husband is the greatest person I have ever met and I would never want to diminish him. But there is a very natural aspect of humiliation/humbling tied to letting/watching/be turned on by watching your wife taken, vigorously, rawly fucked by another man. And I enjoy the boost that comes with my husband watching the type of sex he's not necessarily built for. In every area of our life my husband leads and it fits us ... except for our sex life. I enjoy that position. I'm also one of those dreaded daddy girl, princesses (I'm working on it) that likes her way and likes winning. So denial, a loving use of the word cuckold on "date days/date nights", etc. is something that now excites him. Humiliation/humbling plays into the very real and (for us) necessary aspect of cuckold angst which in turn helps him experience a kind of sexual, intense rawness that isn't otherwise experienced in the connecting, expressing, loving type of sex he has with me. Hopefully that makes

So those 2 things are the biggest appeal for me.

I think that answers all of them lol

 

[touchofthebeast]

My marriage (if an identity/definition is necessary) falls into the Hotwire/cuckold box ... and has for the better part of 5 years (we've now been married 9). I'll answer the original questions in the order I think works best (which isn't always an objective "best" lol )

How did we start? Poorly. Regrettably. Insert other negative adverbs. I had a brief affair that had nothing to do with love, lack of love, neglect, disrespect (except on my part, obviously) ( I mean there was "no lack of respect" between my husband and I prior to said affair). It was purely animalistic based upon a "type" of guy I fancied in college though never experienced). I hate that I did it and confessed quickly. Which led to ... LOTS of talking. We tried the counseling thing to save us ... but it wasn't really hitting us right. We almost ended and then we got honest and once he really really really got it that it was ONLY about sex ... we reconciled and through LOTS more talking we realized it aroused us both and that on some level ... we fit kind of naturally into the hotwife/cuckold box (though we make it our own. delete stereotypes)

What is the appeal? Variety of men? Boost to my ego? Variety of men? Ummmmmmm I guess we'd have to narrow down the idea of "variety"? In our 4+ years, I've had 4 long term bfs (not a fan of the term "bull"). Counting my husband, I've bed the whopping total of 5 men lol. So its not "variety" if we "variety" mean lots and lots of men. That's not me. If I had to say what the appeal was, its twofold:

1. From earlier, there's a "type" that I love sex with. Sex of the taken, vigorous, raw, fucking kind. I love sex and I'm really good at it ... and this is where I sparkle. But I also love the kind that my husband provides/is built for ... gentle, intimate, romantic, loving, attentive, etc. On the one hand, it's athletic and masculine and pushed my envelopes. On the other, it's about connecting, expressing, loving. So that's a huge appeal.
2. The second "appeal" is connected to your next set of questions dealing with humiliation. I wouldn't say that I enjoy the very negative connotations attached to the word "humiliation" ... I would prefer humbling. Potato potawto, I guess. But I don't act cruelly and am not mean, in any way shape or form. My husband is the greatest person I have ever met and I would never want to diminish him. But there is a very natural aspect of humiliation/humbling tied to letting/watching/be turned on by watching your wife taken, vigorously, rawly fucked by another man. And I enjoy the boost that comes with my husband watching the type of sex he's not necessarily built for. In every area of our life my husband leads and it fits us ... except for our sex life. I enjoy that position. I'm also one of those dreaded daddy girl, princesses (I'm working on it) that likes her way and likes winning. So denial, a loving use of the word cuckold on "date days/date nights", etc. is something that now excites him. Humiliation/humbling plays into the very real and (for us) necessary aspect of cuckold angst which in turn helps him experience a kind of sexual, intense rawness that isn't otherwise experienced in the connecting, expressing, loving type of sex he has with me. Hopefully that makes

So those 2 things are the biggest appeal for me.

I think that answers all of them lol

This is so well said and well written - thank you for this

 

[touchofthebeast]

I have been the boyfriend in this scenario and its wonderful to hear from the wifes perspective because I agree, we often (or only) hear from the cucks perspective. I won't take up too much space in this thread as it is for the wives but just wanted to say how much I appreciate this thread and the ability for those women to share

 

[stxjimmy]

Sounds like we have the exact same life! Well spoken baby.

Wish I’d been a lit member when I was in Australia 20 years ago, and a smartphone/laptop with me!

 

[Deleted member 6789170]

Free use is so hot

 

[jays78]

Free use is so hot

I want you as my free use slut.

 

[LMWM321]

@LexiSmiles092

Thx for the cogent, well-written explanation. A few questions about your unique and beautiful relationship if you don't mind:

• How would you react if your husband asked for your permission to occasionally be with other women?
• Are their "rules" regarding your BF's and hook-ups? ..Eg., no-overnights, only w/ your husband watching, etc..
• What do you mean when you say "watching the type of sex he's not necessarily built for"?

 

[LexiSmiles92]

@LexiSmiles092

Thx for the cogent, well-written explanation. A few questions about your unique and beautiful relationship if you don't mind:

• How would you react if your husband asked for your permission to occasionally be with other women?
• Are their "rules" regarding your BF's and hook-ups? ..Eg., no-overnights, only w/ your husband watching, etc..
• What do you mean when you say "watching the type of sex he's not necessarily built for"?

How would I respond …? Ummmmm I would not fight him on it. Saying no to his request wouldn’t make sense in our relationship … although it might in our dynamic. If that makes sense. I don’t think that would come up.

Rules …? Yes. My husband has ultimate veto power on who and how often and when. I get to decide when/if he watches. That’s one of the fun parts for both of us.

What do I mean … not built for? Ummmmm my husband is smallish “down there” and gentle when it comes to me so “logistically” and “disposition-ally” there are some types of sex he’s not as natural to.

 

[Luv4hotwives]

How would I respond …? Ummmmm I would not fight him on it. Saying no to his request wouldn’t make sense in our relationship … although it might in our dynamic. If that makes sense. I don’t think that would come up.

Rules …? Yes. My husband has ultimate veto power on who and how often and when. I get to decide when/if he watches. That’s one of the fun parts for both of us.

What do I mean … not built for? Ummmmm my husband is smallish “down there” and gentle when it comes to me so “logistically” and “disposition-ally” there are some types of sex he’s not as natural to.

Thank you for all the well thought out replies! Do you ever feel like it's a struggle to stay within the boundaries you've set? Is your relationships with your boyfriends strictly sex or do those relationships have all the same emotions and non-sexual dating activities found in any traditional boyfriend girlfriend relationship?

 

[LexiSmiles92]

Do I struggle to stay within our rules? Let me come back to that one ... I should answer the second one first.

Is it strictly sex with boyfriends? No. There's a connection. It's impossible (for me) to be that intimate and not have a connection. Without it ... the sex would not be as good. I can't compartmentalize that completely.

Do those relationships have ALL the same emotions ... found in traditional bf/gf relationships? No. As I said, there's a connection but I wouldn't say its the same ... I do have a husband and I truly do love him. None of my bfs have remotely gripped my heart like him.

Now, do I struggle to say within our rules? Sometimes. Sex can be overwhelming for me and the wrong guy can tempt me. The concept of "rules are meant to be broken" is stupid to me. I'm sure that people don't really mean it when they say that and it's probably mostly tongue in cheek. But breaking rules that are there to protect the marriage ... even little ones ... would be devastating, at least, to us. Maybe, if I hadn't done what I did ... rules could be blurred a little. But not with our past. So I have been tempted ... but I'm more grounded now. Rules help that. As well as the remembrance of how painful it was for both of us when I broke them.