Are Bi women Attracted to Shemales?

[Britva415]

"how do I know I'm not pansexual,"

I wonder if there's a spectrum along a pan vs bi axis, instead of "one or the other."

I've always been so sure of my identity till now, it's kind of disorienting! (no pun intended)

 

[AlexBailey]

I've always been so sure of my identity till now, it's kind of disorienting! (no pun intended)

Well hey, who do you fancy?

 

[Britva415]

Well hey, who do you fancy?

I've only "been with" cismen and ciswomen in my >50 years, but I've totally been attracted in real life to trans men, trans women and NBs (I live in a very diverse and urban part of California) and wouldn't be conflicted or uncomfortable at all with sex or dating with any of them.

I'm just out as bi and really attached to my bi label because I have invested a lot in defending it from erasers and defamers over the years.

As far as threesomes go, I've had the mmm and the ffm, not the mfm yet though


EDIT: As of 2025, I have learned that two of my past partners were in fact not cisgendered or binary-gendered. They were not out at the time, but clearly "different," as far as my perception went. Some gender-nonconformity. A quality of being different from the cis members of their presentational peers. It is part of what I liked about them, and only now, years later, am I aware that it was rooted in their genderqueer status.

 

[AlexBailey]

I've only "been with" cismen and ciswomen in my >50 years, but I've totally been attracted in real life to trans men, trans women and NBs (I live in a very diverse and urban part of California) and wouldn't be conflicted or uncomfortable at all with sex or dating with any of them.

I'm just out as bi and really attached to my bi label because I have invested a lot in defending it from erasers and defamers over the years.

As far as threesomes go, I've had the mmm and the ffm, not the mfm yet though

You are who you choose to be.

Pan open, cis-bi experienced?

 

[Lingerie_Dreams]

Since I was very young I’ve always known I had a very fem side and identified more with being a girl, but never discussed it with family etc….. sexuality matters were hidden much more back then. I have always considered myself as a lesbian trapped in a male body ….. I’ve never been attracted to men, the exception for me though is transgender women, who I do find sexually attractive .

 

[RachelWalsh]

I find the term "shemale" fairly offensive , but wanted to express this.

There is an expectation that trans women be big dick boner queens, wanting to fuck anything before us, but this is so far from the truth for many of us .

I find many cis women lose interest if we cannot offer penetration.

Take that as you will.

 

[v_indigo]

I’m the bi vs pan discussion, I think it is worth remembering that the terms we use for ourselves are laden with meaning outside of the definition. They come to be about identity, and often an identity forged through struggles.
For example, I recently learned that older people whom we would now call trans often call themselves crossdressers, because that was the only term they knew when they accepted their identity. It may not be accurate anymore, there may be better terms, but this isn’t a sociology text. It’s about identity.

 

[v_indigo]

I feel like I should apologize for being gender conscious but I am. I went through a terrible marriage and divorce and still struggle to trust men after years of counseling. I’m making progress though.

I definitely don’t classify transgender in the same category as men. I’ve learned that it depends on the individual not their sexual preferences or identification. You can’t just classify people and expect them all to be the same.

I think that’s all anyone wants, is to be judged as an individual person. That’s all I ask.

I don’t think you need to apologize. We all get programmed starting at birth, and we prioritize what we want to deprogram.
If I found that I was never attracted to Black women, that probably implies something deeper that is worth looking into and possibly addressing. But I might not have that at the top of my personal growth todo list. And that’s fine (assuming I don’t go saying racist shit about Black women not being attractive).
(Note: I’m not even saying that being gender conscious is a problem, just that we always have more work to do on ourselves)

 

[Escierto]

I find the term "shemale" fairly offensive , but wanted to express this.

There is an expectation that trans women be big dick boner queens, wanting to fuck anything before us, but this is so far from the truth for many of us .

I find many cis women lose interest if we cannot offer penetration.

Take that as you will.

The expectation that you speak of is based on watching porn not reality. Most people don't know anyone who is trans so all they know is porn.

 

[blkjames]

Maybe the correct name should be, try sexual.

 

[v_indigo]

Maybe the correct name should be, try sexual.

There is a correct name.

 

[v_indigo]

I will probably never fix all my flaws but I want to keep trying.

You’re exactly right though. Something or someone might not be at the top of my list but it’s okay as long as I am not harboring prejudice or hate.

Good girl

 

[HottieOlwen]

Ladies - this one's for you.

It's quite obvious that a number of men are into Shemales. Which guy with those proclivities doesn't enjoy looking at a feminine face and breasts, while anticipating uncovering a juicy cock hiding under those garments?

But, how about women who desire other women? How many of them would like to have sex with a Shemale? How many would enjoy the same feminine face and breasts and then be happy to uncover that juicy cock?

A few years ago, I met a fellow Hot Wife at a fetish party. Since her cuckold had died, she'd taken up with a very submissive, femme sissy boi. My cuckold and hur got on very well (both loved humiliation and cock sucking!) and Nicola and I became firm friends. Unfortunately, Covid took her, and for a while Simon(e) (her sissy) gave up the lifestyle and moved away. Soon after the last lockdown was lifted, I met hur at a fetish fayre, and we began playing again. I loved teasing hur and making hur weep chastity tears (as I termed hur pre-cum). She also was very helpful in teasing my cuckold. But I found having to deal with a cuckold and a sissy, whilst seeing my (then) regular boyfriend, and teaching full time, was too much. Simon(e) saw an ad in a contact magazine for a sissy boi that was required by a dominant couple. The last I heard, she was being well fucked by hur Master and pegged regularly by hur Mistress. So, yes, bi women are attracted to sissies and shemales. Well I am, anyway!

 

[Britva415]

You are who you choose to be.

Pan open, cis-bi experienced?




(Hale to the 415, r.i.p. KGO )

It's a mouthful but I like it.

 

[Britva415]

I feel like I should apologize for being gender conscious

I don’t think you need to apologize. We all get programmed starting at birth, and we prioritize what we want to deprogram

I agree that no apology is necessary, but the "deprogramming" idea is a dangerous one.

If you believe that people's attractions are conditioned, and can be unconditioned, erasure and conversion-therapy are only a short leap.

Nobody's culturally programmed to be any flavor of queer, and no queer needs to be deprogrammed into a different kind of queer.

 

[AlexBailey]

I agree that no apology is necessary, but the "deprogramming" idea is a dangerous one.

If you believe that people's attractions are conditioned, and can be unconditioned, erasure and conversion-therapy are only a short leap.

Nobody's culturally programmed to be any flavor of queer, and no queer needs to be deprogrammed into a different kind of queer.

I agree that conversion therapy is bogus, I’ve had friends who were sent into abusive ‘treatment’ by their parents. My parents used to say how they failed me by not sending me to religious schools.

To me ‘deprogramming’ is more a matter of recognizing the cultural biases you have been raised with and how they have affected you, then reassessing your own values and choices without the outside influences.

 

[Britva415]

I get that there's a level of conditioning which culture imposes, and that these can be unlearned.

But we were all talking about "gender consciousness" specifically in the context of attraction and orientation, which is where it starts getting dangerous to consider that those might not be innate.

KarenKlark understandably expressed self-consciousness at the conflict between her innate orientation and other people's definitions of bi and pan, and the reaction from @v_indigo actually looked like an erasure of that orientation - by basically saying, "you can change it." Including a shaming-sounding reference: "...if you want to prioritize it."

 

[Britva415]

I understood V_Indigo to say that we can change if we want to.

But do you think that's true, as far as your orientation goes?

Lesbianism (I looked at your profile) is obviously gender conscious.

How does it feel to get told that, on the one hand, you don't have to apologize, but on the other hand, maybe you could overcome your orientation-specific gender consciousness and therefore your orientation if you just cared enough to prioritize it?

 

[Britva415]

@v_indigo
I should reel this in and say that I'm not assuming bad faith. I'm not trying to pick this apart and play a "gotcha" type word game.

I apologize for making an example of you and probably coming on way too strong. I just wanted to defend the appearance of calling orientations programmable and deprogrammable, which I concede must not be what you intended.

 

[Escierto]

In Thailand I believe the polite term is Katoui, here they are recognised as a third gender and respected as such. The tourist term Ladyboy is disrespectful and offensive there, even though it is tolerated because they need to make money by being nice to people, which in the main they are, at least in my experience.

In the Philippines as well they are referred to as ladyboys, a term which my Filipina girlfriend hates.

 

[AlexBailey]

But do you think that's true, as far as your orientation goes?

Lesbianism (I looked at your profile) is obviously gender conscious.

How does it feel to get told that, on the one hand, you don't have to apologize, but on the other hand, maybe you could overcome your orientation-specific gender consciousness and therefore your orientation if you just cared enough to prioritize it?

As I understood, @KarenKlark said that her lesbian orientation is influenced by personal trauma, not innate attraction. Trauma is real, I would never downplay that, but it is also something that can be mitigated by time and other experiences if someone is interested and open to that.

 

[likemeornot]

while at a bachelorette party in Vegas we met and invited a trans back to our room. We started out talking about fashion, makeup and guys until her cock got things interesting. In all fairness, I didn't think of her as a girl or a guy - she was just Mandy. All in all I think a good night for everyone.

 

[Britva415]

I do wish OP could come back and change the title. I'm conflicted about repeatedly bumping a thread with a slur in the title.

 

[v_indigo]

I get that there's a level of conditioning which culture imposes, and that these can be unlearned.

But we were all talking about "gender consciousness" specifically in the context of attraction and orientation, which is where it starts getting dangerous to consider that those might not be innate.

KarenKlark understandably expressed self-consciousness at the conflict between her innate orientation and other people's definitions of bi and pan, and the reaction from @v_indigo actually looked like an erasure of that orientation - by basically saying, "you can change it." Including a shaming-sounding reference: "...if you want to prioritize it."

I see what you are saying and you might be right, that I was only half paying attention to the definition of gender consciousness.
Some days I speak before I think.
I didn’t take it as an attack, and I recognize that I should have been more thoughtful in my words.
I mostly just didn’t like someone feeling badly about who they are attracted to. I feel like attraction is one of those things we don’t have control over, directly, but also one that can point to prejudices and such that were aren’t aware we have.

 

[AlexBailey]

There is an expectation that trans women be big dick boner queens, wanting to fuck anything before us, but this is so far from the truth for many of us .

I find many cis women lose interest if we cannot offer penetration.

On the flip side of this I’ve had female lovers who had no interest in my penis, one friend agreed to play with me and my lesbian identifying partner only as long as I kept it put away.

Using my AV as an indication you can probably guess I had no problem with that. I love girl sex. Penises bring more complexity and possible consequences and honestly, though I also enjoy using it, I also don’t mind keeping it out of the equation.