April Fool's Gone To Far

[Bob Peale]

at the Tv Guide website, if you look at the TV Listings for your area there is an advertisement for The View that winks.

There is nothing more unsetling than being winked at by Barbara Walters at 6:00 in the morning!

 

[sabbathstorm]

www.fuckedcompany.com pulled a good one on their readers, complete with fake Yahoo stories. An entertaining read this morning

 

[April]

I'm trying to avoid any and all April's Fool's jokes.

All defenses are up, and nothing is being downloaded. Nope, not today.

 

[Dhalgren]

Bob..absolutely wonderful to see your words.
~smiles~


I was born on April 2..my Mom went into labor on the 1st, but refused to have her baby on April fools day.
I was born April 2nd at 12:05 am...


The thing is..
This day was considered the first day of spring..for many centuries.
When the King changed the calendar, but some still refused the new spring date..hence those people were known as April fools.

 

[Guest]

 

[Lasz]

I called my cousin and told him that I made a girl pregnant. I had him going for 15 minutes. He was freaking out, and all of his friends that knew me were over. Talk about a good joke

Laz

 

[Shylady]

mmmmmmm there is that yummy av again finally!


Hiya Bob!

 

[Azwed]

I got pulled in on one this morning...

Jesse Ventura held a press conference and announced he was running for governor again. *shudder*

Thank God he said, "April Fool's."

The reporters were not too happy about being summoned through a blizzard for a stupid practical joke.

I hope he is running for president now. I would love to see a cage match between him and shrub's whole cabinet

 

[Mister Man]

April Fools footnotes

Dhalgren wrote:
> Bob..absolutely wonderful to see your words.

Yes Bob, good to know you're still alive. Too bad you never managed to enter our Erotic Fiction contest. Dhalgren and I were really looking forward to reading your entry. But I'm here to nitpick about April Fools. FYI...

> This day was considered the first day of spring..
> for many centuries.
> When the King changed the calendar, but some still refused the > new spring date..hence those people were known as April fools.

Actually, what moved when the Gregorian calendar was adopted by King Charles IX was *New Year's Day* - to its present position at January 1st. The beginning of Spring is the beginning of Spring is the beginning of Spring. You can't move it.

But let's also remember that the calendar had already been tweaked quite a bit by that time: the Julian calendar which preceded the Gregorian was another enforced mechanism of a state-religion (this time in worship of the Caesars Julius & Augustus).

But hey. Let the totalitarians have their bottle. The Seasons are based on the Equinoxes and Solstices, as any practicing Pagan knows. Ain't nothin gonna change that.

 

[Dhalgren]

Welcome to Lit, Mister Man.

 

[april-wine]

I hid all day for April fool's Day.....

People for some odd reason think if your name is April they need to get you realllllllllllllly good...........Arghhhhhhhhhhh

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Mister Man]

Dhalgren wrote:
> Welcome to Lit, Mister Man.

Thanks, Dhalgren. It is indeed an honor to be welcomed by a guru. I shall do my best to write prose of a quality befitting the high standards of this esteemable arena.

But I've actually been keenly aware of this place since Dhalgren v1.0. And you know me - wherever you find escapism and fictional personas, I'll be there.

(CUE SWELLING MUSIC AS A LARGE FLAG UNFURLS IN THE BACKGROUND, DOMINATED BY THE CRYPTIC MISTER MAN LOGO)

Wherever you find people lying to themselves and their loved ones about work, sex, their own nature, and their increasingly recurrent covert activities...

I'll be there.

Wherever there's a grown person playing make-believe, or somebody misusing the word "troll"...

I'll be there.

Wherever you find projection, suppression, and denial supported by the colorful and overly-simplistic strokes of a neurotic socio-psychological ego defense system...

I'll be there.

Wherever there's a pot calling a kettle black, or a gifted soul becoming food for the moon...

I'll be there.

Wherever a person wastes their time pretending to be a person they're not really capable of being, in order to impress another fake person who's played half the time by yet a third person...

(dramatic pause)

(stage whisper):
I'll be there.

(DROP LIGHTS AS TIMPANI ROLL COMES TO CRESCENDO, SPOTLIGHT ON RAISED FIST, TREMBLING AND SUSPENDED, STRAINING TO CRUSH WITHIN ITS SOLITARY GRIP THE DETRITUS OF A THOUSAND WASTED LIFETIMES...)

(FADE TO BLACK)

 

[Rubyfruit]

Mister Man,

You sound a little uptight. I think you need a spa day. I'd suggest a salt scrub, followed by a seaweed wrap, culminating in full-body massage. Facial optional.

 

[Paendragon]

A seaweed wrap? What does that do?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Hell if I know. I think it's supposed to rid your body of toxins or some such crap.

I'm a spa junkie, but I limited myself to massages and facials mostly.

 

[Paendragon]

I could use a massage.

Although I'm still a little gun shy. The last place I went to, turned out to be a little disreputable. She told me to roll over om my back, and then gave me a surprise. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

I was naive enough to think that just because they advertised in the Yellow Pages, and said they were 'certified' that meant they were legit. LOL.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Oh, you got that type of massage. *wink, wink* So, you got the "happy ending" even without asking, eh?

I wonder what they'd do if a woman came in. Hmmm.....

I have to admit to getting very turned on during massages. It's a very sensual experience to say the least. Alas, I've never had a happy ending.

 

[Paendragon]

You mean you can ask to get that?!

Damn, have I been missing out.

Nope, that was the first time it happened. I used to go to a place in NJ, that never gave me the 'Happy Ending'. Now, I'm in DC, and was looking for a local place. LOL. Got more than I expected.

 

[Bob Peale]

Re: April Fools footnotes

Yes Bob, good to know you're still alive. Too bad you never managed to enter our Erotic Fiction contest. Dhalgren and I were really looking forward to reading your entry.

Huh? What contest? I guess my last day online was 2/13 until 3/31, so I suspect I missed a lot.

 

[Dhalgren]

Ah Bob…he was referring to our contest over where we work and such. I actually just wanted you to just write me something for the site..=}


Ruby…I’m thinking that after knowing mister Man for 20 years…you ought to know by now that you couldn’t drag his ass to a spa if you paid him in good porno.
~smiles~

I’ll go in his stay, though Maybe having mud power~hosed off my body by a mannish looking woman with a borish attitude, would do me some good.

 

[Bob Peale]

Ah Bob…he was referring to our contest over where we work and such. I actually just wanted you to just write me something for the site..=}

And the offer still stands.

I lost the address and had no way to get in touch with you guys...

 

[Mister Man]

It was pre-December, Bob, and that site isn't going in that direction anymore, it's now been streamlined into a directory of adult sites & services. However, I am finishing up the code for a new interactive collaborative fiction venue (for lack of a better word). Dhalgren and I will be playtesting it soon. If you'd like, we'll keep you posted.

FYI, Just for the record: Ruby actually *did* drag my ass to a spa once, although we only partook of the mineral baths, where she payed me in sex, not porno. And she owed me, too, boy... We slept in a tent in the woods the night before - a feat which is far less likely to be repeated in this lifetime.

As I recall, we had a fight in the parking lot of the mineral springs, based on my (continued) assertion that camping is *way up there* on the list of stupid experiences people willingly put themselves through. Except for the sex, the spa was nothing special, which only reinforces my opinion that we would have been better off just fucking in the car.

As far as Dhalgren goes... I can vouch for the sincerity of her sarcasm. I can't even drag her ass onto a dance floor. In a strange town. On ecstacy. Put it this way: I don't think the spa is in the cards for either of us.

But thanks for the suggestion.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Oh wow, I'd completely forgotten about that. Matilija hot springs in Ojai, and yeah, a fight.

 

[Bob Peale]

It was pre-December, Bob, and that site isn't going in that direction anymore, it's now been streamlined into a directory of adult sites & services. However, I am finishing up the code for a new interactive collaborative fiction venue (for lack of a better word). Dhalgren and I will be playtesting it soon. If you'd like, we'll keep you posted.

Please do!

You can always get me through here (both through email and PM).