Anyone for a nightcap?

[midwestyankee]

Four Vines Naked Chardonney at $12 a bottle. Do not recommend.

So it wasn't a $2 bottle (I mean adjusted for a century or so of inflation.)

I still maintain that Smoking Loon (Chard anyway) at $6 is a pretty good wine for the money.

Cartlidge and Brown would be be my next step up Chard for the time being.

~LB

The same wine that I used to buy at $2 per is still on the market: Gallo Hearty Burgundy and it's priced at about the same point as Smoking Loon. The bird does a better job for the money.

Tonight it was sub sandwich night here in the boys dorm. That called for a Sammy - the Summer Ale, in fact.

 

[vampire28]

After the day I've had, I'm thinking a bottle of Wild Turkey would be nice. No ice, no water, just whiskey.

 

[midwestyankee]

After the day I've had, I'm thinking a bottle of Wild Turkey would be nice. No ice, no water, just whiskey.

Good day, eh? This sounds like a celebratory recipe to me.

 

[vampire28]

Good day, eh? This sounds like a celebratory recipe to me.

I wish! Words fail me in describing the awfulness of my day. I'm thinking of getting wasted before I (foolishly) decide to write a letter of resignation.

 

[madetotakeit]

Margaritaville Last mango Tequila...neat.

Yes it has been that kind of week.

 

[midwestyankee]

Gin and tonics before dinner. Well made, as I trained the bartender.

Toasted Head merlot with the pizza. Also quite smooth and ever so slightly fruity.

 

[blondedreamz]

Good evening all.

Caught a bad cold so it's going to be a hot toddie for me and then off to bed.

 

[midwestyankee]

Good evening all.

Caught a bad cold so it's going to be a hot toddie for me and then off to bed.

Sorry about your cold....but you could at least give us some details on your toddie.

 

[LilyBart]

I wish! Words fail me in describing the awfulness of my day. I'm thinking of getting wasted before I (foolishly) decide to write a letter of resignation.

I really hope you survived that moment! Did a new day help?

~LB

 

[LilyBart]

Celebrating Paddy Harrington's victory...not with a pint, but with an Estancia Pinot Grigio. Very nice...
Grill now heating up in preparation for a couple steaks...ratatouille in the works on the stove.

The best part is...I'm not the one doing the cooking! It has been a very nice day.


~LB

 

[CutieMouse]

Kids are back with their dad; I'm back in a silk lounging set with a glass of
Llano Chenin Blanc (Texas Hill Country wine) & a piece of chocolate caramel cake in front of me.

Loooooooooooooooooong weekend.

 

[Netzach]

Little Penguin Cab and a Chicken Parm hero, which I need like a hole in the head at this weight BUT...

fuckit today.

 

[JMohegan]

Yes

BUT

more of them have to be Dom women.

Have to be because while I'm not the average girl, I'm also not THAT far out there, there'd be more of my ilk around if it weren't true.

Is that so out there to say? Why dude, why do I never run into myself, anyone who is totally "oh yeah, hell yeah" about the same things? The inside of my head is not that weird and not that unsexy.

I have a close friend whom I've written about a few times on this board. A mid-40's woman who was a submissive partner of mine way back in the day, but is now a long-time Fdom. I left a message for her yesterday, asking sort of a generic version of your question, and heard back from her this evening. Here's a paraphrase of what she said.

There are a LOT more women out there taking charge in the bedroom than you might think. A lot experimenting (from the Top side) with pain play and milder forms of humiliation, too. She meets up with them mostly in what she calls the "sandbox brigade" crowd.

Sandbox brigade (in her world) = educated middle class women with both jobs and kids. They get together when hanging out with their kids at the playground or doing PTA or soccer mom stuff.

No, not all are kinky - not by a long shot. But it's apparently not all that hard to say something like: "I spanked my husband last night" and either brush it off later as jest, or take the ball & run with it when you get a knowing response.

One reason she thinks female D-types would be less likely than males to seek out public dungeons and such is that women are less likely than men to have showing off in front of others as a top priority. With women, it's not: "Hey guys, look what a stud I am!" Instead, it's more likely to be: "I can do this. Oh my gosh, I really can."

She also pointed out that women in her working mom peer group are *seriously* short on time. Actually laughed out loud when I asked why she doesn't visit kink clubs more often.

She thinks that a lot of women travel on a trajectory that goes something like: grow up being taught to please men... celebrate the success and attention one receives as a hot young female.... take on career and family responsibilities and develop a certain maturity and self-confidence accordingly... gradually start realizing that pleasing men as a #1 sexual priority has VERY serious drawbacks.... start thinking about what pleases/would please her instead.

Of course, one still needs a partner. She says: "Reeeaaasonable men are remarkably amenable to being topped in the bedroom." (That remark was a direct shot at me - albeit a very playful and affectionate one!)


Anyway, Netzach, no idea if any of that interests you. Just throwing it out there in case it does.

Oh, and ITW - I'm drinking Honest Tea at the moment.

 

[intothewoods]

I have friends just like this from my sandbox brigade! I described in the other thread when I said we always end up drinking and comparing our nipples. Most ID as submissive, but not all. There is only one who is remotely interested in the bdsm community.

ETA: Enjoy your tea.

 

[JMohegan]

I described in the other thread when I said we always end up drinking and comparing our nipples.

I noticed that you failed to respond to Netzach's prompting on that one.

 

[Netzach]

I have a close friend whom I've written about a few times on this board. A mid-40's woman who was a submissive partner of mine way back in the day, but is now a long-time Fdom. I left a message for her yesterday, asking sort of a generic version of your question, and heard back from her this evening. Here's a paraphrase of what she said.

There are a LOT more women out there taking charge in the bedroom than you might think. A lot experimenting (from the Top side) with pain play and milder forms of humiliation, too. She meets up with them mostly in what she calls the "sandbox brigade" crowd.

Sandbox brigade (in her world) = educated middle class women with both jobs and kids. They get together when hanging out with their kids at the playground or doing PTA or soccer mom stuff.

No, not all are kinky - not by a long shot. But it's apparently not all that hard to say something like: "I spanked my husband last night" and either brush it off later as jest, or take the ball & run with it when you get a knowing response.

One reason she thinks female D-types would be less likely than males to seek out public dungeons and such is that women are less likely than men to have showing off in front of others as a top priority. With women, it's not: "Hey guys, look what a stud I am!" Instead, it's more likely to be: "I can do this. Oh my gosh, I really can."

She also pointed out that women in her working mom peer group are *seriously* short on time. Actually laughed out loud when I asked why she doesn't visit kink clubs more often.

She thinks that a lot of women travel on a trajectory that goes something like: grow up being taught to please men... celebrate the success and attention one receives as a hot young female.... take on career and family responsibilities and develop a certain maturity and self-confidence accordingly... gradually start realizing that pleasing men as a #1 sexual priority has VERY serious drawbacks.... start thinking about what pleases/would please her instead.

Of course, one still needs a partner. She says: "Reeeaaasonable men are remarkably amenable to being topped in the bedroom." (That remark was a direct shot at me - albeit a very playful and affectionate one!)


Anyway, Netzach, no idea if any of that interests you. Just throwing it out there in case it does.

Oh, and ITW - I'm drinking Honest Tea at the moment.

That's encouraging. I don't have a wide selection of girlfriends, and maybe that's why, but a lot I have have tried things left of vanilla. The majority of them, though, on the bottom/sub side. They appreciate that I've landed a cutie who likes to be bossed around warmly and have things done to him, but none of them really passionately dig doing things to their SO's.

I dunno, maybe this is a factor of SO many of them coming out of these very enlightened feminist households and mine being so blue collar by comparison.

The going thing is "oh, I'd rather be spanked, that's kind of intriguing, but really, why do you like doing the work?"

I just can't fathom being any other way, and I've yet to meet people on the outside like that, while I've yet to meet people on the inside who are on my wavelength and like hurting boys. Other than a few switches and even sub identified people.

I concur with her that the vast majority of men who are "not into pain" or "not into bondage" become pretty into it when it's presented seductively and persuasively rather than as an SS She Devil. Really. The ones who can't possibly convert are in the minority.

The dirty secret isn't that most women *CAN* be persuaded to bottom - it's that most *people* can.

 

[intothewoods]

That's encouraging. I don't have a wide selection of girlfriends, and maybe that's why, but a lot I have have tried things left of vanilla. The majority of them, though, on the bottom/sub side.

I dunno, maybe this is a factor of SO many of them coming out of these very enlightened feminist households and mine being so blue collar by comparison.

The going thing is "oh, I'd rather be spanked, that's kind of intriguing, but really, why do you like doing the work?"

I just can't fathom being any other way, and I've yet to meet people on the outside like that, while I've yet to meet people on the inside who are on my wavelength and like hurting boys. Other than a few switches and even sub identified people.

I concur with her that the vast majority of men who are "not into pain" or "not into bondage" become pretty into it when it's presented seductively and persuasively rather than as an SS She Devil. Really. The ones who can't possibly convert are in the minority.

The dirty secret isn't that most women *CAN* be persuaded to bottom - it's that most *people* can.

With a few notable exceptions, the moms I'm friends with are drawn to submissive fantasies in reaction to feeling oveworked and overtired. They want that all powerful man to take control so thy don' have to be in charge. Most of their husbands need to be coaxed into it. Probably because they're overworked and don't feel like being in charge in the bedroom either! Most adventurous "vanilla" couple friends of mine switch roles.

Then I have a few friends whose desire to bottom or top comes more from their cultural orientation. But I know several men, my ex included, who would choose to bottom, including pain and humiliation, if they were forced to choose between one or the other.

I noticed that you failed to respond to Netzach's prompting on that one.

It's called stategery. I'm playing hard to get.

 

[Netzach]

Also there's a huge gulf between the knowing "I spanked him, I wear the pants ha ha" of these interactions (I had that going with the other pros I worked with in the rare instances they had kinky bottom/switch boyfriends or partners - some are lifestyle subs, but some are definitely not) and what my sexuality is, for one.

Today my stud was telling me about this story that mildly turned him on, with the woman putting food between her thighs (or maybe further in) as the teasing tidbit du jour.

I'm kind of over tease lately. I'm kind of bored by it. You tease, he "gets" or doesn't "get" the prize - so?

I said "Oh, well I think rubber banding off your erection and fucking you till it's about to fall off is more my thing lately."

Which is simultaneously so much more vanilla and so much less vanilla it's not funny. And it's not in the FemDom script lately much at all. It's all this witholding dangling seducing toying.

Which is grand, don't get me wrong. I've spent years on it.

But I'm more kicking ass and taking names lately.

 

[intothewoods]

Also there's a huge gulf between the knowing "I spanked him, I wear the pants ha ha" of these interactions (I had that going with the other pros I worked with in the rare instances they had kinky bottom/switch boyfriends or partners - some are lifestyle subs, but some are definitely not) and what my sexuality is, for one.

Today my stud was telling me about this story that mildly turned him on, with the woman putting food between her thighs (or maybe further in) as the teasing tidbit du jour.

I'm kind of over tease lately. I'm kind of bored by it. You tease, he "gets" or doesn't "get" the prize - so?

I said "Oh, well I think rubber banding off your erection and fucking you till it's about to fall off is more my thing lately."

Which is simultaneously so much more vanilla and so much less vanilla it's not funny. And it's not in the FemDom script lately much at all. It's all this witholding dangling seducing toying.

Which is grand, don't get me wrong. I've spent years on it.

But I'm more kicking ass and taking names lately.

Right, but still it's promising that women are conscious about what turns them on, and aren't afraid to go after i.

I know like zero Toppy women who are into teasing. Why is my city eh with the sophisticated food, but advanced with the sophisticated kink scene??

 

[vampire28]

I really hope you survived that moment! Did a new day help?

~LB

Sorry, I didn't respond...I haven't checked this thread for a few days.

Yes, I survived and didn't quit my job, although I did make a credible threat which the Dean took very seriously. Some concessions were made on both sides, but I think I came out ahead. *g*

Celebration with a nice glass of wine and some good cheese.

 

[Netzach]

Right, but still it's promising that women are conscious about what turns them on, and aren't afraid to go after i.

I know like zero Toppy women who are into teasing. Why is my city eh with the sophisticated food, but advanced with the sophisticated kink scene??

Wha?

You have Obelisk. You have no other food needs. Go make a reservation and maybe you'll get in in like 4 mos.

This is one of the best food moments I have had in my life. Srsly.

If this was here I'd be so screwed.

 

[intothewoods]

I've actually been having all of these flashbacks to my high school self. I used to fantasize about having multiple boyfriends, and living alone, never getting married. And in high school I was very ra-ra about safe sex, condoms in school, and against all the born-again sacred virginity talk. And I was kind of considered out there for that.

So I started thinking I bet if more girls were be taught to be conscious of their sexuality, I wonder if they would have sex at an early age at all. I know several people on these boards have said otherwise, but I think most girls are not actually getting off if they have sex at age 14. I'm not a big ra-ra abstinence girl, but I'm just saying that if we taught girls it was okay to discover their sexuality and get off on their own, etc, I kind of wonder if a nice little byproduct might just be that abstinence rates go up anyway.

 

[intothewoods]

Wha?

You have Obelisk. You have no other food needs. Go make a reservation and maybe you'll get in in like 4 mos.

This is one of the best food moments I have had in my life. Srsly.

If this was here I'd be so screwed.

Really? Hmm. It's a lot better now than it once was. It's not that we don't have good fancy. We do. But we have less simple, fresh, solid good places than SF. I was spoiled!

 

[JMohegan]

That's encouraging. I don't have a wide selection of girlfriends, and maybe that's why, but a lot I have have tried things left of vanilla. The majority of them, though, on the bottom/sub side. They appreciate that I've landed a cutie who likes to be bossed around warmly and have things done to him, but none of them really passionately dig doing things to their SO's.

I dunno, maybe this is a factor of SO many of them coming out of these very enlightened feminist households and mine being so blue collar by comparison.

The going thing is "oh, I'd rather be spanked, that's kind of intriguing, but really, why do you like doing the work?"

I just can't fathom being any other way, and I've yet to meet people on the outside like that, while I've yet to meet people on the inside who are on my wavelength and like hurting boys. Other than a few switches and even sub identified people.

I concur with her that the vast majority of men who are "not into pain" or "not into bondage" become pretty into it when it's presented seductively and persuasively rather than as an SS She Devil. Really. The ones who can't possibly convert are in the minority.

The dirty secret isn't that most women *CAN* be persuaded to bottom - it's that most *people* can.

Your comment about women coming out of "enlightened feminist households" makes sense.

It's also interesting to think about the type of men to whom they're married. Guys who were raised in, and now exist in, educated feminist environments *and* have enough general societal power that they aren't totally threatened by the idea of giving any shred of power or "dominance" up.

About the pain/pleasure thing - yes. Absolutely. Anything holding anyone back from bottoming to a responsible, informed Top is all in his or her head. And not a rational part of the head, either!

 

[JMohegan]

Also there's a huge gulf between the knowing "I spanked him, I wear the pants ha ha" of these interactions (I had that going with the other pros I worked with in the rare instances they had kinky bottom/switch boyfriends or partners - some are lifestyle subs, but some are definitely not) and what my sexuality is, for one.

Today my stud was telling me about this story that mildly turned him on, with the woman putting food between her thighs (or maybe further in) as the teasing tidbit du jour.

I'm kind of over tease lately. I'm kind of bored by it. You tease, he "gets" or doesn't "get" the prize - so?

I said "Oh, well I think rubber banding off your erection and fucking you till it's about to fall off is more my thing lately."

Which is simultaneously so much more vanilla and so much less vanilla it's not funny. And it's not in the FemDom script lately much at all. It's all this witholding dangling seducing toying.

Which is grand, don't get me wrong. I've spent years on it.

But I'm more kicking ass and taking names lately.

As I understood her comment, the "I spanked my husband last night" line is a feeler put out to identify those with similar interests or experience. The point is that it's easy to turn into a joke, if for some reason it's not well received.

I have no idea about the other women she talks to, but my friend is adept with floggers (leather, not bunny), quirt, crop, and cane. Not just foolin' around with the stuff, but really, really good.

However, to my knowledge she's never done anything remotely *close* to the stuff you've described in posts about H. High end mindfuckery and edgy humiliation are not in her repertoire at all.

From I've seen of her interactions with her husband, I'd guess that teasing is a big part of her game, you're right.