Another Lonely Night

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

He loved her reaction. It made him feel so warm inside to have such a little gift appreciated so much, although in truth it was a bit embarrassing to him. It wasn't as if he'd planned something for weeks and then spent all his money on her. This was only fifty bucks, and he'd just thought of it while sitting there.

"It's nothing," he said, blushing slightly. "Umm... you look nice... very beautiful."

He led her back to the table and sat with her, picking up the menu.

"So, what do you want to eat?" he asked.

OOC: Sorry for short reply, kind of in-and-out today.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

She smiled across at Darren.

Mmmmm she was hungry she discovered.

She smiled at his compliment and studied the menu... throwing caution to the wind and deciding to pick what she really fancied eating rather than some cheap or politically correct meal she grinned mischievously as she said to him;

"steak, fries, onion rings... then a big icecream sundae...
At this rate I'll eat us out of house and home...! Can we afford to splash out this time, I'm ravenous!"

She giggled at Darren's face, he seemed almost suprised!

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

He smiled as she chose her order, a large meal for a healthy appetite. So, she wasn't the picky eater he'd guessed. Somehow, the fact she could relax enough to enjoy a decent meal made him all the happier.

"We can afford it right now," he said, "We're using the money on the card - and I reckon we have about 3 days before mom and dad find out I'm gone and cancel that. So we have a couple of thousand to burn in that time. He called the waitress so they could order their meals, and matched her order. adding an appetizer platter of chicken wings, mozarella sticks, fries and potato shells. He felt like a drink of beer, but that would have to wait. He was driving and the last thing two runaways, even if they were of age, needed was police attention."

The meal came much more quickly than he imagined, and they were soon eating hungrily, casting occassional glances at each other and smiling when their gaze met. What was she thinking, Darren wondered. She seemed happy, although he was terrified he would let her down some way. Hopefully she would like the gift of their initial destination - a place he had been on holiday once as a kid. It was just about 4 hours away if they made good time along the interstate. His mind also turned to work, and what they could do to ensure they still had money.

"Beth," he said, with a smile, "what is it you dream of doing for a living?"

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

"We can afford it right now, we're using the money on the card - and I reckon we have about 3 days before mom and dad find out I'm gone and cancel that. So we have a couple of thousand to burn in that time. "

Beth nodded, not liking the idea of stealing from his folks, but what could they do? She watched as Darren made the order, deciding to eat the same as her and adding a stunning appetizer, much to her delight...

Tucking into the meal, they both ate in comfortable silence. Smiling at each other as they tucked into the delicious food.
She glanced round between bites. They must seem so ordinary to the casual passerby. A young couple travelling together was the most usual thing in the world and would not attract undue attention....

"Beth," Darren's voice interrupted her thoughts, "what is it you dream of doing for a living?"

Beth licked her fingers as if considering. What did she want to do with her life?

"I.. don't really know... there's not much I can do... I always thought waitress or barmaid.. or.. some such.... "

She shrugs.. dismissively..lowering her eyes, knowing what she would love to do in life, but not wanting to scare him...

The silence hangs between them. Beth blushes as she looks up to see Darren's eyes on hers.

"I.. guess.. I'm not really career minded... I... what I've always wanted .. eventually... is.... to have kids... "

She looks up at him knowing that if she had freaked him, then she might as well be honest with him.

"Some day, I'd love to be able to say that I've been a good mom... and set up my kids... been good to them.. you know?"
She queries, wondering if Darren could understand...

"..but meanwhile.. I really don't know what I'd do... I guess I'll do anything to get some money together for us.. that's what's important..."

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren stopped with a piece of steak halfway to his mouth as she confessed her secret desire to be a mother. In this day and age, it was the last thing he had expected from any woman. He'd heard feminists say a woman should be able to do whatever they wanted, and he agreed, so why would any woman want to be tied to the kitchen sink? Then again, he reflected, wasn't that just as sexist of him as a chauvenist thinking a woman belonged in the home? If she could do anything she wanted, then she could be a stay-at-home mother. He put the piece of meat back on his plate and smiled at her as she returned her gaze to his.

"Beth, you will be the world's best mother... or at least one of them. You know that? See you've seen the worst and you've come out of it with a good heart and fun personality. Beth, one day you'll be an incredible mother. For now... I guess you are right. We just need to get jobs so we can live."

He sighed a little melancholically. He had wanted to find a way to get her started on the career path she wanted, to help her find the happiness she'd been denied. Not that he could do that, of course. He realised now that stark reality hit once more that he was being arrogant. He was a runaway kid, not some kind of financier. And what did he want to do? Vet? Well, maybe. Or something else? He really wasn't sure any more. All he was sure of was that he wanted to stay with her. He returned to the meal, assuring her that he would, of course, do the same thing, and get a job somewhere.

For the rest of the meal, he struggled with his sorrow. Had he been right to bring her away with him? Was she really any better off now than before? She was safe from abuse, but not from starvation, and which was worse? At least at home she was guaranteed a meal. But she was happy now, and if there was one gift he could give her it was their current destination. Then, after their few days of relaxation, she could decide if she wanted to stay with him.

He called the waitress over and gave her his card as they finished their meal. Then, with a smile back to Beth, he led her back out to the car.

"Just a few hours left, Beth... till I show you what I want you to see."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

"Beth, you will be the world's best mother... or at least one of them. You know that? See you've seen the worst and you've come out of it with a good heart and fun personality. Beth, one day you'll be an incredible mother. For now... I guess you are right. We just need to get jobs so we can live."

Beth blushed at his compliment, not sure she would be so good, but if she failed it would not be for lack of trying or good intentions.
She heard his sigh. Yes.. they must set their dream aside and concentrate on earning.. for now.

She continued to eat. Her happy expression and renewed chatter assuring Darren that she, at least, was much better of now. She felt a twinge of guilt as Darren handed over the card, but quoshed it as she rose and left the table... "needs must.." she convinced herself.

As they walked to the car, Darren grinned as he said;

"Just a few hours left, Beth... till I show you what I want you to see."

She grinned...

"Mmmm I can't wait.. " she responded, somewhat flirtatiously, though in truth she was curious to see what Darren wanted to show her.

As they reached the car she slipped her hand into Darren's..

"Thank you.." she said softly kissing him on the cheek, "..not just for the present.. but for... everything.. for.. believing in me...."

She looked into his eyes, her own soft and loving, experiencing a rush of warm emotion, unfamiliar and overwhelming...

She caught her breath... eyes locked with his... she was sweet, vulnerable, aching to be accepted and loved.. and Darren had guided her along the first step to her future....

She flushed as they stood, momentarily immobile in the carpark...

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren held her close as she kissed his cheek. It was like electricity running through his entire body, so shocking and so sensual. He felt himself begin to grow hard again and closed his eyes, willing it away. He had read all the theories that as a sexual abuse survivor grows up knowing sexual acts on behalf of those who should love them, their love becomes sexualised, but this was the last thing Beth needed - him acting like some kind of pervert. He kissed her back, hoping she hadn't felt anything, and then parted from her. He opened the door and let her get in.

Soon they were on the road again. He hadn't driven the route himself, and had only been on the trip once with his parents, but it was one he'd wanted to make again himself. That, perhaps, was why the easy route was so readily recalled from memory. Turn off of the I-87 near Albany then follow the I-90, past Utica and Syracuse, then out to the lakes and the Border.

As they drove, Beth seemed to grow more excited. Perhaps it was the safety of the growing distance between herself and her family, but she was certainly teasing him more and more to tell her where they were going. Then, they reached the turn-off for the I-290 and her question was answered.

Niagara Falls...

"Nearly there, Beth." Said Darren with a smile. "I wanted to show you a mirror."


OOC: I hate finishing writing a post and having my computer crash before hitting submit.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

OOC:

Dontcha just hate it when that happens!?!?! ::ggls::

IC:

His hands moved around her as he held her. She let him draw her body close to his, feeling a shock as their warmth mingled. He returned her kiss, kissing lightly and she felt the stirring in his groin, his hardness pushing into her. She brushed against it and then, with effort held back. She blushed, again she did not want to freak him or abuse his trust of her. He was a virgin and did not need her pressing attentions on him.... what did she want anyway.. did she want to.. no.. not yet.. but... she shivered lightly surprised by her body's reaction and sighed with relief as they moved apart. She smiled as he opened the car door and got in. Their conversation continued, as if nothing had happened between them.. and nothing had.. at least.. nothing they would admit to.

She watched the road pass by, exclaimed at the changing countryside, the lakes.. it was so beautiful. Beth was like a little girl, pointing, laughing, growing excited as they drew nearer their destination.

Their destination... where were they heading??
"Darren where are we going....?... Come on... tell.." She pleaded, trying to wheedle the answer out of him. But to no avail...

"You'll see. It's a surprise." Was all he would say.

"This could be classed as a kidnapping!" She joked!

"i'll get out if you don't tell me!" She threatened laughing..

But on and on they went... her threats and cajouliing growing more outrageous and making them both laugh with her sense of fun.


As they reached the turn off, she saw a sign:

Niagara Falls...

"Nearly there, Beth. I wanted to show you a mirror."

She read the sign and looked back at Darren, still confused.

"A mirror..?" She repeated softly, her bravado gone, knowing that sharing "this" with her was important to Darren.

She sat silently, eyes fixed on the passing scenery, eager to see what it was that lay at the end of this journey.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

http://www.niagarafallslive.com/images/Brink_of_American_Falls.jpg


He drove through town towards one of the areas where visitors could see the falls, pleased that the day was drawing on a little now so there were at least a few parking areas. The falls were as breathtaking as he always remembered and he paused, staring in awe for a moment before getting out of the car and helping Beth towards the railings alongside the roadway. The noise was like a powerful engine, roaring foreciously in their ears, but the sight was incredible - at once peaceful and passionate. He looked at Beth with a smile on his face and saw she too was looking on in wonder.

"See, Beth - this is a mirror. A mirror of you!"

She looked as if she didn't understand and in truth he wasn't expecting her to right away.

"You don't see yourself as you are, Beth. You see yourself through the pain you suffered, but when I first saw you I saw power and beauty, peace and passion, all rolled into one. When you said you wanted to go to Canada, it suddenly struck me - Niagara Falls. It's like a photo of you taken by mother nature."

Was it too much for her? Would that just sound like romantic bullshit? He had no idea, but he hoped she knew it was how he saw the truth, even if she didn't see it that way.

"Please, Beth, just feel it. Feel the power of this place. And the love of the world. It's you Beth! Free, joyful, deep, passionate... it's everything about you..."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Even as they sat in the car, she could hear the roar of the falls and see the droplets rising, hurled upwards by the force of the water.

She got out of the car and allowed Darrent o guide her towards the railings and stood looking out at the sight. She had never seen such a volume of water in one place and was awestruck by its movement and the noise it made as it crashed downwards.
On and on it flowed, never ending, no break in volume of movement as her eyes drunk in the sight, overawed by the power and scale of it all.

"See, Beth - this is a mirror. A mirror of you!"
Beth's eyes moved to Darren... a mirror.. what did he mean. She still didn't understand what he was trying to tell her. Her eyes were drawn back to the churning water as Darren explained..

"You don't see yourself as you are, Beth. You see yourself through the pain you suffered, but when I first saw you I saw power and beauty, peace and passion, all rolled into one. When you said you wanted to go to Canada, it suddenly struck me - Niagara Falls. It's like a photo of you taken by mother nature."

She looked at him. He must be kidding.. "power and beauty.. peace and passion.. " her? ... and yet she when she looked questionningly at him, his expression was earnest, willing her to understand. This.. is what he saw in her... she was doubly awestruck.

Beth looked at the falls.. a photo of her - taken by mother nature... a beautiful image... one she had difficulty even beginning to attribute to herself...

"Please, Beth, just feel it. Feel the power of this place. And the love of the world. It's you Beth! Free, joyful, deep, passionate... it's everything about you..."

The power, yes.. she felt it.. it throbbed through her... now she were free.. and finally felt free... but she had not done that on her own... she smiled... Darren could see all that in her, but she could not yet... perhaps he could see what she could become.. the potential she had.....

He could tell she could not quite make the leap to see herself through his eyes, but she had understood and accepted what he had said to her. It was the first time anyone had said those things about her and for the first time, she began to consider seriously, if indeed, she did have some of the qualities Darren seemed to see so clearly...

She stood... not reasoning out the words.. but let herself be drawn into the elemental force being played out before her. She let herself lean back against Darren as tears stung her eyes, emotional, but smiling... her grin wide as she looked back at him. The spray soaking them was cleansing, as if it were washing away their pasts... freeing them... letting them move forward....

Like Darren, she was not much given to sentimentalities, yet the waterfall brought out a sea of emotions, hope bubbling to the surface as irrepressibly as the foam surfacing below the long drop downwards at the foot of the falls.

She breathed deeply and took Darren's hand...

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren took her hand gently as his arm cradled her shoulders. She was so uncertain, the tears in her eyes speaking of her inability to grasp what he was saying. It was almost frustrating, that she couldn't see just how wonderful she was. The truth was, he would never have had the guts to get out of his old life, the rut he was in, if it hadn't been for her. Running was her idea, and he had followed. She was truly wonderful.

What else was there he could say now? He'd told her he loved her. He'd shown her the falls, which matched everything he saw in her. He'd told her he would do his best to protect her in every way he could. Now words seemed pointless somehow, as though they had falling into meaninglessness against the power of the Niagara Falls. He held her close as he stood watching the Niagara falls with her, feeling the reflection of the beauty in his arms and the beauty in nature.

The sun was beginning to set now as they stood there. He had no idea how long it had been since they arrived, but knew that it had been the happiest time of his life so far. Him and Beth and the Falls. In his heart he pledged that whatever happened to them, he would hold this scene in his minds eye forever. This was their place now, and the roar of the water was their music.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Hand in hand, they stood. Darren''s arm curled protectively around her shoulders. They stood, firmly bonded together, their bodies touching, finding a unity of emotion, even if Beth could not quite vocalise the depth of her feeling.. yet.

The falls roared on... she watched securely huddled in Darren's arms... this was perfect. Life could not get better than this. She knew they had a limited amount of money, were on the run and had no job and nowhere to stay, but she had never been happier. Her life was so different now. As Darren had said she was no longer a victim. She had survived and got out of that. She did not have to live in the past anymore. She could move on and had to break free mentally as well as physically.. try to see herself as Darren saw her.

Darren...

She looked up seeing the sun set, the air chilling, aware for the first time that they were soaked, the damp spray still on the surface of her clothing as Darren's arms remained protectively around her. She could feel his breath on her hair and shivered as she felt him exhale... with out a word he curled his arms more tightly around her, instinctively keeping the cold from her as he felt her body react.

She smiled. He was caring and he loved her. Every word and gesture and deed proved that. He was her future... standing like that she knew that she just wanted them to be stood together like this.. forever....

She tipped her head back resting it on his shoulder and looked up at him, their eyes locking... she looked deeply into his... and saw love there.. and a possessive pride.. pride in her.. she was his... and.. she realised.. she wanted to be...

She smiled speaking softly, but hoping he could hear her above the roar of the water... her eyes held his.. calm seriousness in them. She could say it now.. she knew he wouldn't reject her, or walk away or let her down.

"Darren... I love you... "

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren heard her words and felt a rush like he never had before. Nobody had told him they loved him since his family as a child, and it meant more to him than he could ever put into words. Softly, oh so gently, he took Beth's face in his hand and kissed her lips.

"I love you too Beth," he said with a sigh.

Then he felt her wet clothes pressing against his own, emphasising just how soaked they had become. He chuckled softly.

"Come on," he said, taking her back to the car. We better hunt down a hotel room before everyone is booked up for the night. I'm afraid it won't be a great one, but I'll do the best I can."

It took another hour for him to pick his way through the town and find a hotel that actually had a vacancy. It was a better one than he imagined - a little expensive, for sure - one week of it would definitely burn through his card, but by the end of the week the card would be useless anyway. That only left one question:

"Would you like a queen-size bed or a room with two singles, Sir?" Asked the receptionist.

Darren turned to Beth, and let her choose - neither wanting to push her away or to make her think he was forcing their relationship to places she was not ready for. The thought struck him that, at least for the forseable future, her choice would likely indicate whether their love would remain platonic or become more, but whatever she chose, he was happy to be with her.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Darren turned Beth's face to his and kissed her lightly and lovingly, making no demands, but communicating a wealth of feeling in hte light touch.

"I love you too Beth,"

Their eyes locked as they realised there were no barriers between them at that moment... all was open, the trust mutual.

Darren's soft chuckle found an answering giggle as they both realised that they were soaked.

"Come on. We better hunt down a hotel room before everyone is booked up for the night. I'm afraid it won't be a great one, but I'll do the best I can."

They went back to the car, Beth not caring where they slept, but keen to get indoors somewhere and get warm and rest...

The hotel they found did not look bad. To Beth it looked very really comfortable, but then she was used to much less comfort than Darren. She let Darren deal with making the booking, trusting him to sort it all out. Relying on him as she had never relied on anyone in her life before!

Standing beside Darren she heard the receptionist ask casually;

"Would you like a queen-size bed or a room with two singles, Sir?"

Darren turned to her and she smiled, realising that he wasn't making any presumptions.

She hesitated momentarily, she did not want him to think she was wanting to jump him. She loved him, but she wasn't sure how quickly their relationship would... develop.. but.. remembering the previous night, she knew Darren would be content to "be" with her any way she asked him to be... and she wanted to feel him beside her... feel his arms round her.. as she'd felt at the falls.. so comforting and loving.

She smiled shyly. Not coy or playing games.. knowin he would not jump to conclusions or make a pass without asking first.

"..queen-sized I think... "
She paused momentarily, unsure suddenly,
".. if that's alright with you, Darren.."
She blushed...

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren couldn't resist a smile as Beth requested a queen-sized bed, and agreed with her selection at once. It didn't mean they were going to have sex, it meant simply that she was not ruling that out. She was not forcing their relationship into a platonic-only form. He'd convinced himself that he would be happy to be with her even as a loving friend, but he was more so to be with her as more than that. If their relationship should develop, then he would consider himself lucky beyond his wildest dreams.

He got a cart and took it out to the car, loading their luggage quickly. It was getting chilly now, this far north, an effect added to by the nearness of the falls and the lakes. He shivered slightly in the evening air and hurried back inside to find their room. Beth was already there, waiting for him, when he got back. He brought the luggage in and greeted her warmly, then sank down on the bed.

Tiredness was beginning to wash over him, from the exhileration of their flight, the terror at his attack on Beth's 'uncle' and the effort of driving for so many hours.

"One day," he thought allowed, barely aware that he had spoken. "All of that in just one day?"

He was beginning to nod slightly, his eyes seeking the deep darkness of rest, his mind fighting to be there for Beth.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth exchanged smile with Darren as they made their way to the room. She walked ahead unlocking the room whilst he fetched the luggage. Outside it was cold and breezy and she was pleased to be in the cosy room away from everything and with him.

The luggage laid down on the floor, Darren crossed and laid out on the bed. Beth smiled as he closed his eyes.. and crossed the room to sit beside him.

She looked round the room. So silent. She looked down and heard him breathing gently and deeply. He looked exhausted and so was she....

"Darren.... Darren..."
She spoke softly as he half stirred...
"..let's go to bed... we're both exhausted..."

She locked the room door and switched off all the lights, leaving only a small bedside lamp illuminated.

Looking down she shook Darren gently..
"..come on sleepy.." She spoke affectionately. She did not want to have to undress him, but was as eager to sleep as him.

As he stayed immobile, she moved to her case and took out a nightshirt... she glanced round at Darren's immobile form. She shed her clothes laying them over a chair, and clad only in panties she pulled her nightshirt over her head, shivering eager to be cocooned in the cosy double bed.

She turned round and noticed Darren had sat up and was looking at her, almost blushing as she met his eyes. She smiled, not caring that he could have been watching her undressed. She trusted him and felt safe and unselfconscious with him.

"Come on.. get those clothes off... they're so damp, mine were.. let's get into bed and get warm."

As Darren stood she pulled back the covers and slipped between them, glancing over at Darren once before snuggling under to allow him privacy to get ready for bed, craving the warmth of his body next to hers.

His presence was all she needed.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren stood and looked at her in absolute confusion. She had gotten undressed and climbed into bed. She had chosen for them to share a bed. And that comment she made about "let's get into bed and get warm" could, surely only mean one thing. Except... her body language said something else. She had put on her nightshirt and had now turned her back on him. What did she mean by it all? Did she want to make love or just to sleep? Did she want to make love but think he was too tired, or did she want to sleep but was afraid he wanted to have sex like every other guy she had ever known. He blushed as he tried to work out her meaning.

He considered asking her for clarification, but then considered what that would sound like. 'Beth, I'm not sure what you meant just then. Do you want to have sex or not?' Yeah, that was a sure-fire winner, he mocked himself silently. Or then there was the all-time great, 'Beth, I really don't know what you want from me.' For a poet, he sometimes felt as though he had no ability with words at all.

Best to play it safe, maybe. He could take his night clothes into the bathroom and get changed in there. Then she needn't be afraid of him. Heh, it was going to take some getting used to wearing nightclothes again anyhow. He had only brought them with him to college to shut his mother up, who still insisted on treating him like a baby. He normally slept nude, but had brought them when they fled so she would feel safe. Yes, safety, that was key.

Except... was it? Beth was a beautiful woman and, he believed, quite passionate too. Sure, she had never had the chance to be truly loved before. Neither her boyfriends nor her 'uncles' fit into the definition of 'lover', but would she think he was some kind of geek if he didn't make a pass at her? It was always the guy who was expected to make the first move, but for someone like him that was terrifying. What if he got it wrong?

Eventually, he decided to get changed in the main room of the suite. That way, if she wanted him, she would probably turn around to watch him change, and if she didn't then she'd keep facing away. Nervously he removed his tee-shirt, his shoes, his socks. Still she kept looking away, confirming for him that she wanted safety. Next came his jeans and boxers. He pulled them down quickly, and started to remove them, but slick as they were with water, they stuck to him as he tried to step out.

"Woah..." he called as he stumbled, and grabbed at the nearby table to steady himself. He missed and fell to the floor with a clatter.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth heard him fall and sat up with a start. She herself had been dosing she realised.

"Darren.. you ok?" She asked and seeing him right himself began to giggle.

She looked at him shy, suddenly realising his awkwardness and the strangeness of their situation..

"Darren.." she began her voice soft and hesitant, not wanting to insult him.
"Darren.. we're both tired and.. probably chilled... can we.. just.. well.. would you.. just hold me.... we both need to sleep.... tonight... I.. just want you close.. if ... that's ok..? "

She looked up at him, not laughing at him or putting pressure on him. It was him not sex she needed. Other ... things could develop... in good time.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren smiled at her, despite blushing as his limp penis was exposed to her view. She didn't seem to object, and her invitation, while in no way sexual, was extremely reassuring. She wanted to be held, to be loved in a non-sexual way. That was fine by him. Other things could develop if that was the way the future went, but for now, it was time to sleep. He pushed off his trousers and underpants, and grabbed a pair of pj bottoms. Time to start sleeping wearing something. Then he climbed into bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her stomach, careful not to drift either too low or too high.

He kissed her softly on the back of the neck and whispered in her ear, "Goodnight Beth, see you tomorrow."

With that he dozed off into the lands of night.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth watched as Darren dragged on his PJ bottoms. He slipped into bed and put is arm around her. His arm around her stomach was reassuring as she allowed herself to nestle against his warmth.

She sighed as he kissed her neck. His voice a soft whisper;
"Goodnight Beth, see you tomorrow."

She heard his breathing steady and deepen. His sleep was instant and deep.

Beth lay beside him. She felt safe and cosy, but stared blankly into the darkness. Her mind ran over what had happened that day. Everything she had shared with Darren... the frightening... the romantic... the touching...... she moved stretching slightly, Darren's arm still around her, holding her possessively. She smiled, filled with a feeling of safetly.

Her eyes flitted to the door. How many nights had she laid alone in her bed, listening, straining her ears for the sounds of returning footsteps, shouts on the stairs, fearing the rattle of the door handle.....

Beth let out a breath, telling herself to relax. She was safe now. She was out of it. No matter what happened now, things were better than they had ever been.

She snuggled close to Darren. Darren's hands moved over Beth's body, one resting at her waist, the other on her hip. They closed over her and held her. The touch felt loving, protective as he drew Beth to him. She pressed her body against his. Darren's breath was on her hair. She kissed his chest lightly and closed her eyes...

"Please God... let it all be ok..."
She prayed the same prayer she prayed every night in her bed, but this time she was hopeful, for once she had a future, even though she did not yet know what it held.

Soon Beth's breathing deepened as she joined Darren in sleep. The two young runaways wrapped together, each of them providing the security and foundation for the other in their uncertain world.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

It was the shaking that woke her. His arm was wrapped tightly, almost painfully, about her waist and he was trembling uncontrollably. His whole body was shaking, as if he was terrified. His mouth was part way open, and without moving it he was talking.

"No... No lease... No... No... lease no..."

The littany was going on and on as his shaking got stronger and stronger. She could tell at once he was having a nightmare and tried to wake him, but was unable. Finally, with a scream, he threw himself backwards from her, falling out of bed. He scrambled across the floor, staring at her as she put on the bedside lamp to help him. He was shaking his head in terror, pushing himself backwards against the wall as if trying to get as far away as possible. It didn't look as if he even recognised her.

"No, Auntie, no please, no more, no, please, no Auntie. Don't hurt me. I don't wanna. No, please, no...."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth opened her eyes sleepily. She was disorientated at first then felt Darren's comforting presence pressed against her. As she shut her eyes once more she realised something was wrong. His body trembled and his arm around her drew tighter and tighter around her digging into her flesh.

"Darren... Darren.." She repeated softly, turning her head in concern. Beth saw his face was rigid in fear, his mouth soundlessly forming words. She put out a hand and gently released the hand that dug into her and turned to comfort him.

"No... No lease... No... No... lease no..."

"SShhhh... Darren.. it's ok... it's me.. Beth.."
She put out a hand and stroked his arm trying to soothe him or draw him out of the terror he was locked in.

The scream her gave as he wrenched himself away from her, crashing onto the floor made her wince. She identified with the depth of his emotion and watched helplessly as he scrambled away from her, pressing himself against the furthest wall.

She didn't know what to do and felt guilty. Had sleeping with her brought back terrible memories. Had she been selfish. She had to help him! She switched on the lamp and moved slowly over to Darren crouching on the floor next to him. He withdrew futher against the wall, he obviously didn't recognise her, but his rejection as he drew away from her hurt.

"No, Auntie, no please, no more, no, please, no Auntie. Don't hurt me. I don't wanna. No, please, no...."

He sounded like a little boy, lost, bewildered and scared. Her heart contracted with sympathy and the love she felt for him now and the abused boy he had obviously been. She drew slowly closer, but was careful to stay at a distance from him, careful not to make him feel trapped. She extended a hand, touching his hand lightly, hoping he would take hers.

"Darren.. it's ok.. no one will hurt you... you're safe..."
Her voice choked as he seemed so vulnerable and helpless.
"Come to Beth... let me keep you safe... shhhh... come on now.."

Over and over she crooned softly, trying to lull away the terror, her hand on his lightly so he was barely aware of the touch, but offering a life line so that he could pull his way back from the scene he found himself trapped in. Over and over Beth spoke softly and reassuringly hoping that she could break through to Darren's subconsciousness and draw him back to her and the present.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren shivered as terror ruled his mind. He was torn between sleep and being awake, and unable to make any sense of the image he was seeing. His aunt/Beth was standing/kneeling beside him and threatening/reassuring him. She was telling him that he was going to get another beating/would be all right and she still wanted him to go down on her lover/to be with her. The image flicked and swam back and forth as he struggled to overcome the nightmare memory.

Then, as wakefulness gained the upper hand he lept to his feet and ran to the bathroom. He grabbed the glass from the sink and filled it with water, swallowing deeply as he tried to force himself to relax. He was so ashamed, so afraid and so embarrassed.

His shaking hand dropped the glass which smashed against the porcelein. His eyes fed on the beautiful crystal shards. It would be so easy, so easy to just cut the pain out. Unlike many cutters, he didn't bare visible scars, because he cut in hidden places, even though these were inevitably more dangerous: his scalp, his armpits, under his scrotum, anywhere that wouldn't be seen. He had promised his parents he would never cut again about six years ago, and so far hadn't. But they weren't here now, and Beth would be so disgusted by his behavior she would leave him anyway. He deserved that, he deserved everything. His aunt was right, he was such a sick pervert. He didn't deserve anyone as pure as Beth.

He suppressed a scream as his hand half-consciously drew a shard of broken glass through the fly hole of his pyjama bottoms, drawign blood through his pubic hair. He wasn't stupid enough to cut the major veins flowing there, but he cut enough to bleed. That was when he saw the door open.

"Darren..?" said Beth, before she realised what had happened.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth watched as Darren struggled to come back to the present and reality. All the while she stroked his hand and spoke gently, reassuringly, patiently.

She jumped as he suddenly wrenched his hand from her grasp and ran to the bathroom. The door banged and bounced back from its frame. She sat and ran a hand wearily through her hair. This was scary. Scary because she cared so much for him and because she felt powerless. She had thought she had demons chasing her, but she realised that Darren was a really troubled individual. She looked around the strange room and towards the light in the bathroom. She did not want to invade his privacy, but she didn't like the idea of him on his own in there. Somehow she was worried. He had looked so wild and didnot seem fully awake yet.

She heard the crash and jumped. What was happening in there?
The sound of things breaking in the middle of the night brought unpleasant memories back to her too.

Standing up she made her way slowly and silently to the door. She would just peep round to reassure herself more than anything else. She pushed the door open a crack.

Her mouth opened in a silent gasp as she saw Darren, a piece of broken glass in hand, standing in the bathroom. He held the shard looking at it intently, as if mesmerised and oblivious of her presence.

She saw him move his hand down to his pyjama bottoms and stepped forward, not understanding what she was seeing.

"Darren..?" Her voice was hoarse and fearful as he turned.

She gave a cry as she saw the blood seeping through the material below his waist.

"oh my God!" She cried and rushed forward without thinking.
Darren stood there dazed and suprised as she pulled his pyjama bottoms down in one swift movement and grabbed the towel from the side of the bath, holding it momentarily under the tap then applying it to the place where the wound was seeping.

Kneeling she looked up at Darren. One hand held the towel in place the other took the glass from his lifeless fingers and dropped it in the wastebin in the bathroom.

"It's ok... shhh... "
Her voice shook as she tried to reassure him.
Looking down she removed the towel to examine the severity of the wound he had inflicted on himself. Her mind was all concern, her reaction instinctive, not even thinking that she was tending him in the most intimate of places. As she drew the towel away, she was reassured by the slowing of the blood flow. As she realised the cut was superficial, she gave an audible gasp as she saw the scarring around his body.

She sank back on her knees, looking up at him. Her eyes filled with tears.

"God Darren... why.. why did you do this to yourself?"

She let the towel drop and moved away scrambling on the floor until her back was against the bath in the narrow bathroom, not noticing the shards from the broken glass cutting into her own flesh as she moved away from Darren.

She bowed her head, inhaling deeply, trying to regain control. She covered her face with her hands in an effort to hold back the tears which flowed down her cheeks as the memories came flooding back.

"No.. not again... God no.... "
She whispered to herself over and over again.

She couldn't make sense of it. They were together and yet he'd... done that to himself.. and if she hadn't stopped him.. how deep would he have cut..?

She gave a shuddering sob.

It was her fault. It had been before and it was now. She should have known. Perhaps because she had said she loved him. Perhaps because she didn't love him enough. Either way it always happened to her. To those she loved.

She wrapped her arms around herself and keened silently, as she had when they found her father, when *she'd* found her father. She shut her eyes. So much blood. She could still see it. Then she opened her eyes and saw blood again. Her own. Darren's. On the floor. On the towel.

What if she'd found him in there... bleeding.. dead...?
She paled. She felt sick. Her head spun as she swooned, tipping forward slightly, disoriented on the cold bathroom floor...

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

"Beth, Beth, it's ok, I'm sorry..."

He held her close, trying to make sure she was ok. She seemed halfway unaware of her surroundings. God, how could he have done that to her? He should have known how triggery that would seem to her. He should have guessed she would walk in on him. He was so damn selfish and so stupid. He hated himself, but he swore he'd make sure she was ok.

"Beth, I'm here. I'm ok. I'm sorry."

He had snapped out of his confusion as he saw her panic and pitch forward. At first, he thought she had gone into a dead faint, but when he checked, he found she was awake, at least sort of. Her eyes were slightly unfocused and she was breathing raggedly. He held her close, rocking her, trying to sooth her.

"God, I'm so sorry."

He must have been that way with her for several minutes before she started to come round, just holding her tight and coaxing her to wake up. When he saw her open her eyes and look at him, fear and confusion knotting her brow, he tried to give her a smile, but found all he could do was cry.

"I'm sorry Beth. I-I'm ok. It's all right. I'm sorry."