Annonymous

[Jenny_Jackson]

This message contains feedback for: Jenny_Jackson
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

Thank you for your picture! You could make any man very happy-
ecstatic even. Enjoy the gift of your beautiful body and share it carefully.
Since you are on literotica, I expect that your personality is also
sensual. Enjoy!!!
Thanks again.

Did I send you a picture? I doubt that. And be advised: If you had a vigina I MIGHT be interested

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Left on Truth or Dare
The Hero died
09/14/06 By: Anonymous
and in my book, that means it sucked. I was so totally dissapointed that Shane wasnt able to go on living a happy life after the love they found. devistated is a good word. With all the bad unhappy real life endings, I had hoped this fantasy tale could be something different, but my real life escape in this story was brought to a crashing hault Sorry, i dont know if ive ever been so sad about an ending before.

First... thanks for giving away the ending!!!

Second... I'll drop an elevator on an old lady, if that's what the story demands, to paraphrase Stephen King. You were supposed to be sad. Mission accomplished.

 

[LesLumens]

On Finding Karen

*sigh* I knew this was going to happen, but by the time I realized a couple of subtle references got lost in the process of editing, it was already in the queue and too late.

please, don't always make natives the bad guys
11/11/06 By: Anonymous
when you write a story, you are telling a story. and when you just write: "arrows juts started coming from everywhere and soon everyone's dead",,, you are telling the story of a group of highly righteous, highly civilized people being massacred by a group of blood thirsty, scalping savages,,,,

for NO REASON, you basically say!

indeed, you, the author, even talked about the indians scalping people during this ficitonal story of yours.

IN FACT, history tells a very different picture: MOST indians were killed off, provoked and unprovoked, by white land grabbers. "a good indian is a dead indian" was the overwhelming belief, a true belief, in those early days.

this is supposed to be a "romance" story: Indians SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN portrayed as the scalping folks! they suffered MORE, disproportionately more, than whites during those days.

if you gonna talk about Indians scalping, you need to explain why they do it: whites have killed of, murdered, and pushed them to the very edge of existence, having confiscated ALL of their lands and having put them in the most inhospitable reservations,,,

be fair! people need to be better educated about history and who did what,,,,,,,,,,

or, stick to pure romance and NOT bring up complex issues youre not willing or able to explain within a few simple pages,,,,

In the process of editing, a critical line of the flashback where she regains her memory got lost in the shuffle.

Karen gasped as the images came back to her in a rush. She remembered seeing the Indians off in the distance, her husband and in-laws grabbing their guns, and then a red-skinned man falling from his horse amongst the sounds of gunfire. The painted men on horseback riding in, arrows everywhere, the terrible sound of screams...

The attack was provoked. That's the reason they left Karen, because she was not involved in the initial attack that felled one of their own, for no other reason than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

As to the rest of how it was portrayed, it is written from the perspective of a very scared woman who doesn't know anything except the overwhealming perception of the times that Native Americans were mindless, murdering savages.

My apologies for offending you, as it was never the intention. I knew I should have gave it one more read before posting, and put that disclaimer in at the beginning. Hindsight 20/20 *sigh* It is in the edit, but too little, too late.

 

[FallingToFly]

Not Anonymous, but I wanted to share anyway. Thank you, thank you, thank you... Skip and Duddle, thank you for being so constantly supportive, and just wonderful in general. Brandii, I have no idea who you are, but thank you for such kind and encouraging words!

Sorted by Date Posted

Your work is always extremely entertaining
11/11/06 By: Brandii
I loved the phrase by Celeste:"Young men are cretins."... That made me laugh. Good luck in the competition.

Delete the above comment.



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Run of the mill FTF, meaning outstanding
11/11/06 By: Skip1934a in US
Even your rough drafts are spell binding. Keep me enthralled, girl

Delete the above comment.



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Mounting intrigue!
11/11/06 By: duddle146 in USA
I love the way the story is being filled in, little bits of information that expand each of the main characters. If you like mystery and suspense - and downright enjoyment, this is a story you will definitely enjoy. Great read! Well Written!

Good luck in the Contest

 

[smy3th]

phrase over-used
11/11/06 By: Anonymous
a few times is okay; but not every fuckin' conversation! the idea that two losers have finally found romance is silly!

all they've conveyed to the audience are their sad, teary, and left behind stories!

we certainly don't really care much about two losers whose every fuckin' word seems to be "Merry fucking christmas!"

now, if they had been built by the author in such a way, as to allow them to become ODD friends with each other, NEVER getting to really wanting to know each other beyond the hello's and daily chat in the park,,, and this has been going on for, say, 2 or 3 years,,,, THEN, YES, it'd make sense,,,

but as the athor wrote it, after a few days and it's "Okay, lover, you place or mine? I don't feel like masturbating alone, do you? Okay, mine, then.... Oh, gosh, push it in, deeper, deeper,,, Oh, I didn't want to fall in love but I coun't help it!"

I mean, WTF! this is NO love; it's pure fuckin' activity! The guy is still a loser and the woman is a masochist, who goes from one abusive relationship to another, promising all the while, that she's never gonna want a man again,,, well, beyond quick sex,,,,

I mean, wasn't that how or why the men in her previous live had been beating the crap out of her? LOL!

So, otherwise, how was the story? And were you the asshole that then went and one-bombed ALL of my stories? I think you confuse not liking some of the plot points with bashing the writing as a whole.

 

[rachlou]

This message contains feedback for: rachlou
About the submission: Two Worlds Collide Ch. 04
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

Mmm the more of your work i read the more i want to read of it !!!!! The story is very good so please tell me there is a part 5 comeing soon and they work to a happy ending?????? I'll be looking for it soon, so please write it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. Ever think of writing a book I would buy it real fast !!!!!! Your writing is just wonderful to me !!! Thank you for shareing it with me !!!!

Thanks for that lovely feedback!! Yes, chapter 5 is in the process of being written and if I ever get my lazy ass of this forum, I might finish it by the end of the week! BTW it will be the final chapter...

 

[MichelleLovesTo]

<<No hero
04/10/06 By: Anonymous
This man was a monster. In a way worse than a rapist. Hateful man, no hero material. There is no way to understand his need for degradation or revenge. He should have just walked away.>>

Yes, and thank you for deftly pointing out why he is not the hero, of the story, but rather, the villain. This means you 1 Bombed me for making the villain villainous. Er, thank you? Perhaps at a future time I can write a character with many admirable qualities and you can zing me for having him likable.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

This on Leah's Thanksgiving

Delightful story
11/12/06 By: Anonymous
A well balanced story. The characters are refreshingly simple and yet have a depth and likeability that translates into the warm, cozy feeling we all look for at this time of the year. Impressive.


Thank you. This is the kind of feedback that everyone loves

After thinking about this story, I see it needs a sequal to answer the question: "What happens when Brian finds out the truth?"

I will try and have this done too.

 

[ungenderless]

This message contains feedback for: ungenderless
About the submission: Words Made Flesh Ch. 13
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

HOW DARE YOU MOCK THE WORDS OF THE GOD WHO CREATED US

My response: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Neener-neener-neener! *sticks tounge out*

My 2nd response: er, wait a minute. Where exactly DID I mock the words of your god? I could see maybe my comment in Chapter 3 where Amelia says "God didn't just give you an orgasm, I did." But, chapter 13? There was like, no references to your god at all. That I can think of. Cos you didn't say that I mocked god, but the WORDS of god...so did I quote a scriptrue and not know it?

Oh hell, now I'm going to be up all night trying to figure it out. You evil little...

 

[Skip1934a]

This message contains feedback for: ungenderless
About the submission: Words Made Flesh Ch. 13
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

HOW DARE YOU MOCK THE WORDS OF THE GOD WHO CREATED US

My response: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Neener-neener-neener! *sticks tounge out*

My 2nd response: er, wait a minute. Where exactly DID I mock the words of your god? I could see maybe my comment in Chapter 3 where Amelia says "God didn't just give you an orgasm, I did." But, chapter 13? There was like, no references to your god at all. That I can think of. Cos you didn't say that I mocked god, but the WORDS of god...so did I quote a scriptrue and not know it?

Oh hell, now I'm going to be up all night trying to figure it out. You evil little...

Methinks the critic must have been addressing the charater's words, attributing them to God as his current words, not scripture. Which is not mocking, it's misrepresentation on the critic's part.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

*chuckles* I have often yelled. . ."OH God!" during an orgasm. . .my spouse says. . ."No, I'm Pete."

 

[ungenderless]

*chuckles* I have often yelled. . ."OH God!" during an orgasm. . .my spouse says. . ."No, I'm Pete."

Right on! You know...the classics just never die.

 

[rgraham666]

*chuckles* I have often yelled. . ."OH God!" during an orgasm. . .my spouse says. . ."No, I'm Pete."

I prefer to reply, "No. I'm just Jesus."

 

[ungenderless]

I prefer to reply, "No. I'm just Jesus."

Lol!

 

[smy3th]

This message contains feedback for: ungenderless
About the submission: Words Made Flesh Ch. 13
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

HOW DARE YOU MOCK THE WORDS OF THE GOD WHO CREATED US

My response: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Neener-neener-neener! *sticks tounge out*

My 2nd response: er, wait a minute. Where exactly DID I mock the words of your god? I could see maybe my comment in Chapter 3 where Amelia says "God didn't just give you an orgasm, I did." But, chapter 13? There was like, no references to your god at all. That I can think of. Cos you didn't say that I mocked god, but the WORDS of god...so did I quote a scriptrue and not know it?

Oh hell, now I'm going to be up all night trying to figure it out. You evil little...

I would suspect the commenter is referring to your title: "Words Made Flesh" which is used as a description of Jesus in the Gospel of John. Or did you not realize what you were quoting your title from?

 

[ungenderless]

I would suspect the commenter is referring to your title: "Words Made Flesh" which is used as a description of Jesus in the Gospel of John. Or did you not realize what you were quoting your title from?

OHHHH! It was the "Chapter 13" that was throwing me off. I was looking for something in the chapter itself. Groovy. THANK YOU!

 

[smy3th]

Various anonymous comments on Merry F-ing Christmas:

Wordsmithing to wonder at.
11/12/06 by Anonymous in UK
Thanks Smy3th.

Good wordsmithing always makes me wonder about the author's real job!

(Good point. I wonder about it too. I may soon end up like Jack. Do I need to keep my day job? I was hoping to go into writing full time when I get fired. Perhaps I should reconsider. )

I liked the romance of the setting and the care taken to plug it into the reality of life as is. The customers could just about sustain the toyshop.

The care of the couple for each other worked for me. The sex is pretty much needed here, but the story didn't need it. Was the change of font to illustrate the optional extra?

(You are quite right: The sex scenes are basically just obligatory on Literotica. I actually was so focused on the plot and characters, I found the sex scenes almost a distraction, which is totally uncharacteristic of me. Nevertheless, a good sex scene is a always a good thing.

The font change is a mystery to me. I didn’t do it. It appears to have happened when the Lit staff was changing it from a Word document to HTML. I have asked them to fix it, but so far, it hasn’t happened, and I’m sure they are busy.)

That many of us of a certain age could identify with the sentiments expressed - and find ourselves rather thoughtful at time, was a powerful hook.

(I noticed that many of the people who liked it are men “of a certain age.” I think this has to do with the side theme in the story that many old things are worth keeping. This makes me feel old. You could have gone all day without pointing this out to me, though it seems to be true.)

Thank you for taking the time to post here.

(Thank you for taking the time to comment. Your observations were perspicacious, and I appreciate your comments.)

Faith, hope and love to us all!

Fennishman.

Great
11/11/06 by Anonymous
One of the best Christmas stories I've ever read.

Boyd

(One of the best comments on my stories I have ever read. I’m not gay (nor probably are you) or you could have my body for saying that. Thank you, thank you, thank you.)

Thank You
11/12/06 by Anonymous in USA
By far one of the best stories I`ve read. It has such a mix of the way life really is. Your added touches of reasons to keep reading had humor, and added to my interst which was at full bore and no way was I stopping. Readers that overlooked this story and didn`t read it will never know what they missed. My only comment for them is I hope they have a "Merry Fucking Christmas" as for you I wish the best Chritmas ever and thank you for this gift of a story.

(Another one of the best comments I’ve read. Thanks 3x more.)

Good Story
11/11/06 by Anonymous in USA
A good story with an actual plot! However, it is your story,. Ir is not necessary to apologize or explain to the reader why you wrote it. Keep up the good work.
R. Richard

(Thank you for the compliment. I didn’t think I apologized or explained so I’m not sure what you are referring to. If you are thinking of the italicized asides, they are intended to be humorous. I had in mind a sort of cross between the Rod Serling “Twilight Zone” remarks, and O’Henry asides. Most readers seemed to have enjoyed them. I did.)

Well done!
11/12/06 By: Anonymous in USA
Something I'd expect Charles Dickens to write if he lived in the 21st century.

(Gosh, thanks. While that's incredibly flattering, I think the comparison must be a little over the top. But you can comment on my stories any time. I only wish I knew your e-mail address so I could send you some kisses. Now if that don't just beat the dickens!)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am actually overwhelmed by the comments I have received, including some of the private ones. Some of them have brought tears to my eyes.

One person said he cried while reading it. Well, I cried while writing it – at several points in the story I was typing through tears. Then I cried again while editing it. Then I cried again while proofreading it. I think I have mostly gotten over it. That’s why I needed the asides – I needed the relief.

 

[past_perfect]

Amazed
11/13/06 by Anonymous in USA
First thing in the morning ~ right after my morning ritual of checking the wires to see if the Bush Regime has started another one (might need to rush in stockpiles of food, water, fuel) ~ I read this little intriguing tale.

I've been reading these stories for 5 or 6 months now; and this is honestly THE VERY BEST STORY I've ever read here. In fact; the writing and style rank right up there with Dickens, Doyle, Poe, Verne and Wells.

Thank you for making my day.

Thank you for that lovely comment, the second part is in the pipeline.

 

[Just-Legal]

I'm sorry, this is hysterical.

This message contains feedback for: Just-Legal
This feedback was sent by: Concerned

Comments:

Why do you stay on the Author's Hangout? Haven't you got the message most people just ignore you?

Uhm... ok. Whatever I took great pleasure in deleting THAT peice of "feedback".

 

[ungenderless]

I'm sorry, this is hysterical.

Quote:
This message contains feedback for: Just-Legal
This feedback was sent by: Concerned

Comments:

Why do you stay on the Author's Hangout? Haven't you got the message most people just ignore you?


Uhm... ok. Whatever I took great pleasure in deleting THAT peice of "feedback".

Well that's a bunch of crap. This person's probably just jealous.

 

[Just-Legal]

Well that's a bunch of crap. This person's probably just jealous.

Thanks Un. I have my suspicions as to who it was anyway, and its not an "AH (ir)regular".

 

[Darkniciad]

On LST3K Ep. 03

didn't like the TV show
11/13/06 By: Anonymous
like this even less

And yet, you read it anyway. Heeeeerrre's your sign!

( I know you won't be able to read it, dipstick, but it will warn the rest of us you're ignorant, so we don't waste our time with you )

 

[Aurora Black]

These were lovely to read after breaking out of the NaNo fog. Mmm.

*claps with joy*
11/11/06 By: Anonymous in USA (dur look at my spelling errors)

HOLY! Nice long, not shallow, wasn't entirely about sex... GOOD JOB! ... Damn it now I feel like typing somthing XD... and as you said, I know ill make an ass out of myself in the proccess (in my own way)... back to subject, Good F*cking job! ! keep writing damn it! ^^ . Loved it! LOVED IT! !!!


Wow!
11/09/06 By: Anonymous in USA

This story is a lot like my relationship! Weird, but true. So glad you won the contest - You deserve it!

Thank you both so much for the kind words. I could kiss you!

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

This message contains feedback for: Jenny_Jackson
This feedback was sent by: sweet_large_one@yahoo.com

Comments:

i would love to put my hard young cock in ur pussy and ass.

Ummm... and what exactly did you think of my stories??

 

[rgraham666]

Ummm... and what exactly did you think of my stories??

You have stories?

Ooop. That' the end of that alt.