Anal Newbie Needs Help

[HubbyLikesIt]

My lovely wife of twenty years is going through a horny streak unlike any I've ever seen. Her latest appetite is for anal sex. I'm a thick eight incher, and she's very tight, I bought a vibrating butt plug yesterday and we experimented with it last night, but it wouldn't stay in place. She loved the sensation though.
We have tried several times, but it always ends up hurting too much for her to enjoy it.
I don't have any experience in this area and could use some advice, from a product recommendation to the psychology involved. I am a very lucky guy to have this opportunity and I don't want to screw it up!

 

[laozmo2]

Order a Lube Launcher from Amazon.com. ($4.00) Its a small lubricant injector that lubes up her inner rectum. Also have her push down like shes having a bowel movement as you slowly enter her. It makes entry much easier.

 

[hd8001]

You might also want to find some other butt plugs that are graduated in size to help her get use to something larger in her.

 

[twister947]

Patience and lube...lots of both.

Tristan Taormino's instructional vid on the subject is a good source.

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

Good Idea

Order a Lube Launcher from Amazon.com. ($4.00) Its a small lubricant injector that lubes up her inner rectum. Also have her push down like shes having a bowel movement as you slowly enter her. It makes entry much easier.

I'm going to be doing some online shopping for related items, so for four bucks this sounds like nice item to add to the cart.
Thanks!

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

Exactly My Thinking

You might also want to find some other butt plugs that are graduated in size to help her get use to something larger in her.

I read in another thread someone liked the Doc Johnson Medium, but my local adult book store doesn't carry them. The one I bought yesterday was too small, and didn't have a proper shape to stay in place. She really enjoyed the vibration, so that's a consideration as well.
I'm off to search Amazon!

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

Pucker Up!

Patience and lube...lots of both.

Tristan Taormino's instructional vid on the subject is a good source.

Tristan's site is amazing! Anybody interested in this subject needs to visit. Thanks for the great tip!
http://www.puckerup.com/EN/home/

 

[SweetErika]

Have you been through the Anal section of The Blank Manual sticky yet? If not, I'd highly recommend it, as there are tons of great tips on all things anal in there. There's also a section on toys.

Oh, and any plugs need to have an strong hourglass shape near the base. They should flare out, have a smaller ring for the sphincter muscles to "grab", then a wide, flared base. It sounds like you need to add at least a reasonably-sized "medium" toy, as well as something your size (or a tiny bit larger) to your collection.

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

Good Tip!

Have you been through the Anal section of The Blank Manual sticky yet? If not, I'd highly recommend it, as there are tons of great tips on all things anal in there. There's also a section on toys.

Oh, and any plugs need to have an strong hourglass shape near the base. They should flare out, have a smaller ring for the sphincter muscles to "grab", then a wide, flared base. It sounds like you need to add at least a reasonably-sized "medium" toy, as well as something your size (or a tiny bit larger) to your collection.

This page was highlighted, right in my face and I had to have it pointed out to me. Tons of useful stuff here, thanks Erika!

 

[DuckLover]

As noted, patience and lube are key. You can never have too much of either. Spend plenty of time using fingers and toys on her to ensure that she's fully relaxed and stretched before you try intercourse. Another thing that might help would be to try doing it with her on top rather than doggy-style. That will give her total control of angle and speed so she can sink down onto you in a way that feels good to her. And hopefully you, too!

 

[mjar65]

small steps

It might be helpful to not try to do 'full' anal the first time with all the thrusting and so on. If you both have a fixed idea that anal needs lots of movement and friction you might enjoy taking smaller steps.

Start with inserting part way and holding still. One or the other can play with her clit or her cunt.

Next time maybe a bit deeper and then holding still.

And so on until she's really ready and asking for more... the you can start to slowly thrust back and forth and the try new positions and all that stuff.

Good luck - though it sounds like you already have had plenty *grin*

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

I AM quite lucky!

It might be helpful to not try to do 'full' anal the first time with all the thrusting and so on. If you both have a fixed idea that anal needs lots of movement and friction you might enjoy taking smaller steps.

Start with inserting part way and holding still. One or the other can play with her clit or her cunt.

Next time maybe a bit deeper and then holding still.

And so on until she's really ready and asking for more... the you can start to slowly thrust back and forth and the try new positions and all that stuff.

Good luck - though it sounds like you already have had plenty *grin*

This is very good advice, and echos the great info I got at http://www.puckerup.com/EN/home/
The Anal Adviser pages there are packed with information. I was particularly enlightened about the woman's desire and enjoyment. I, like many people, thought this was something that men wanted and women tolerated, was I ever wrong! Any guy who wants to improve his lovemaking skills really needs to read this.
This isn't spam, I promise! I was really that impressed by the Q & A section there!

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

The Tricky Part

As noted, patience and lube are key. You can never have too much of either. Spend plenty of time using fingers and toys on her to ensure that she's fully relaxed and stretched before you try intercourse. Another thing that might help would be to try doing it with her on top rather than doggy-style. That will give her total control of angle and speed so she can sink down onto you in a way that feels good to her. And hopefully you, too!

Being used to vaginal penetration only, I have discovered that going slow and exercising patience is tough. Not because I'm not willing to do it, but my forty-five year old penis gets "bored" and wants to go soft on me. I've never had a problem performing, this is just a new scenario to me.
I've never used a cock ring before, because stamina and longevity have never been an issue in the past. This path is taking me to some exciting places I never expected to go. I'm going to research the matter further, any pointers in the right direction will be greatly appreciated.

 

[subwannabe]

I just want to say congratulations on your wife going through a horny spell.

 

[Little Bird]

Being used to vaginal penetration only, I have discovered that going slow and exercising patience is tough. Not because I'm not willing to do it, but my forty-five year old penis gets "bored" and wants to go soft on me. I've never had a problem performing, this is just a new scenario to me.
I've never used a cock ring before, because stamina and longevity have never been an issue in the past.

You really should start with fingers or small toys first to allow your wife to become accustomed to the feeling and her muscles getting used to it. When you first start with it, don't try to go for full anal sex right from the start. Better get used to smaller things the first couple of times until she feels she can take full anal sex. Took me several nights to be able to handle just medium size toys comfortably. And if there's one thing you can do really really wrong, than it's to rush the whole thing.

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

I just want to say congratulations on your wife going through a horny spell.

Thanks.
We've certainly had our dry spells as well.

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

You really should start with fingers or small toys first to allow your wife to become accustomed to the feeling and her muscles getting used to it. When you first start with it, don't try to go for full anal sex right from the start. Better get used to smaller things the first couple of times until she feels she can take full anal sex. Took me several nights to be able to handle just medium size toys comfortably. And if there's one thing you can do really really wrong, than it's to rush the whole thing.

She is loving the fingers and small vibrating plug. I intend to take this slowly and enjoy the build up. Just having her ass grab my finger as she comes is terrific! I can only imagine having her do that my cock...

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

She is loving the fingers and small vibrating plug. I intend to take this slowly and enjoy the build up. Just having her ass grab my finger as she comes is terrific! I can only imagine having her do that my cock...

Have your cock keep that in mind when it's getting bored

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

Have your cock keep that in mind when it's getting bored

The spirit is willing but the flesh gets weaker every day. When I was eighteen...

 

[DevilRider13]

Best thing I've found for me for anal is laying on my back with my legs spread, like missionary with him sitting between them on his butt with his knees up and bend with his feet by my stomach or either sitting on his feet with his knees spread.

Its hard to be stable in doggie when its just to the point of going in but is painful and you need a second to adjust... so this position works best for us...

I have an anal lube that says its got a relaxing property in it.. Either way use tons of lube! and Go SLOW!!!

Make sure she's pressing out on you like a bowel movement like someone else said...

Personally going deep hurts, so you may have to be happy with just the head of your dick

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

Best thing I've found for me for anal is laying on my back with my legs spread, like missionary with him sitting between them on his butt with his knees up and bend with his feet by my stomach or either sitting on his feet with his knees spread.

Its hard to be stable in doggie when its just to the point of going in but is painful and you need a second to adjust... so this position works best for us...

I have an anal lube that says its got a relaxing property in it.. Either way use tons of lube! and Go SLOW!!!

Make sure she's pressing out on you like a bowel movement like someone else said...

Personally going deep hurts, so you may have to be happy with just the head of your dick

This is interesting, she usually "presents" her ass to me, and I took that to mean she would prefer it doggie style, or while laying flat on her stomach. This is difficult for me because of the angle of attack. I want to try it in a spooning position, it would allow both of us to relax, making it easier for me to go slowly.
We are currently on our monthly break, her friend is visiting, but I will be thinking about all the excellent advice from the kind posters here.

 

[HubbyLikesIt]

Two posters have recommended she push, similar to having a bowel movement. This makes perfect sense, but I'm not sure how or when to bring up the idea to her. It just sounds so "bathroomy". Keep in mind we are pretty "square", inhibited people, it's amazing to me how far we have come sexually.

 

[twister947]

Re: spooning...it works very well. As you mentioned, both parties can relax, and there's much more control during initial penetration. I recommend it.

 

[joshgere70]

Two posters have recommended she push, similar to having a bowel movement. This makes perfect sense, but I'm not sure how or when to bring up the idea to her. It just sounds so "bathroomy". Keep in mind we are pretty "square", inhibited people, it's amazing to me how far we have come sexually.

Well, you can always ease the situation for her. You need her to be relaxed and not tense or else her anal muscles will be too tight. Allow her to relax and gently stroke her pussy while she's in doggy. Lube her up then using the lube injector and give her some time to adjust.

While penetration, remember to go slow. Just the head of your penis first or else she'll be in a lot of pain and you'd have blown your chance away. The key here is to remember that she's allowed you to enter a restricted area, one not many women allow their partners in. So, go slow. Do not be rough with her or else she may be in pain and suffer tears.

Be very gentle and once you're in, make sure you give her a moment to adjust while she puts pressure on your cock with her muscles. Remember to give her as much time as she needs. Be very slow and as much as porn may show you, do NOT pull out completely and ram it right in. Do the right thing and you'll have her asking for more.

For anything else, contact me. Any other advice, feel free to PM me. I'm a reader. So, I know all about it

 

[zhelp]

Patience and lube...lots of both.

definitely