John Doe
Justified Snob
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Funyuns smell like semen.
Am I The Cheater?
- Thread starter emma_the_librarian
- Start date
Funyuns smell like semen.
Have you been tested for HIV and herpes, yet?
You know...
...so you can really feel like a champ after you pass either on to the next married guy you screw behind his wife's back.
emma_the_librarian
Lustful
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Wow. I love the hostility dripping off of that.
Of course I get tested (A-OK) and hey, I'm not piling on the married men just yet, thus the broad thread as an inquiry.
Mr Noone
Croí na hÉireann
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parodyluvr75
Owl of Minerva
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He got divorced when his wife left him for a sexy younger flamenco dancer with a huge penis. She took half of everything he owned and his poodle. He's never been the same since. Show a little sympathy.
John Doe
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Yes? You grab him and then what?
emma_the_librarian
Lustful
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You have to have a library card to find out.
John Doe
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Laurel
Kitty Mama
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No. But if you want me to stop quoting you, you need to be less funny.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
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It's just you. Cause you're female...
...I'd never be so hostile to a male who was/is screwing a married woman behind her husband's back.
Because...
...Misogyny.
Dig?
John Doe
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Thank you. That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.
I should think not. To the best of my knowledge you are actively engaged in a monogamous romantic relationship with the Literotica Technomage Extraordinaire, aka Manu. I would hate to think you would do anything to betray him...
Wait. Are you saying Funyuns do not smell like semen to you? Perhaps I should cut out the red meat.
PS I am shocked and appalled that my browser's spell-check library does not include "Literotica", "Technomage" or "Extraordinaire".
PS Or "Manu".
PPS Or "btw".
PPPS Or "Funyuns".
IrezumiKiss
Literotica Guru
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Is this what told yourself after a proud life of no-condom sex?
You should probably get an adult to proofread for you next time...
IrezumiKiss
Literotica Guru
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Sure thing...
...Itchy McScratchy.
When you told your sexual conquests you were taking them out for crab dinners...
...they never knew just how literal it'd be.
Debbie
Persnickety slattern
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I'm on my second marriage. (First was an ahole and I was a silly girl. The second one's a keeper after nearly 18 years.
) Both of my husbands were cheated on. Both had trust issues when I met them and some of the emotional baggage from them being cheated on had an impact on the new relationship.
(Just an observation. Food for thought.)
I'm a curious person. Always full of questions. I'm not being bitchy or trying to be mean.
If you don't mind having a chat about this - I would like to know how you think you might cope emotionally if you do get involved with a married man and you fall in love. Are you prepared for the fact that he may not leave his wife for you? Or he could string you along and say he will divorce her he's just waiting for the right time.
parodyluvr75
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In all my serious relationships I've been on your husband(s)end. I don't think all people cheat, I do have trust issues but not about fidelity. I have a problem with liars, which in three instances is why I found out. One of the funnier instances in retrospect was one I had who would constantly accuse me of doing what he was doing. I figured out when he was seeing another woman he'd start fights with me. He was a very convincing liar and an expert at deflecting blame, but after so long I picked up on when he was lying.
There was one I was in an open relationship with but he told another woman he was committed to her. I was actually with him longer than she was. He wound up losing both of us, her for cheating and me for lying (though in that case by omission). To this day, I'm positive that is the only thing he was ever dishonest about with me and since he never directly lied, I probably would've never known except for the fact she approached me.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
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1. To the OP: a single person who sleeps with an attached person isn't a cheater, but what they are isn't a good thing. Not gonna judge because we're all human, but that shit ain't healthy and is usually a symptom of something in a person's psyche that needs to be addressed. A person in that situation should think about the reasons they're doing what they're doing (fear of commitment? insecurities - it feels good to pull a man away from another woman? Etc.) and work on fixing those things in themselves.
2. Heavily processed foods are the reason for the growth in obesity and obesity-related disease/fatality. Producers of these foods use tricks like "increasing mouthfeel" to encourage you to eat more and more and more of their product, which is usually stuffed with salt, fat, and sugar. If you look at traditional cultures with lower instances of obesity-related deaths (France, Japan, etc.), you'll see that the types of foods eaten is all over the map (from seaweed to fried pork to creamy sauces) but what all have in common is that the portion sizes eaten is generally on the small side. Scientists have substantially increased the lifespans of rats by putting them on special severely calorie-restricted diets. Not saying we should all go on diets like that, just saying that overeating is very taxing to our systems. Since things like Cheetos and Funyuns exist for no other purpose than to sell as much product as possible and contain all the nutritional goodness of a pencil, we would all be better off limiting these "foods". (She types, while eating a mini Kit Kat.)
So, no cheaters and no Cheetos. Next question?
2. Heavily processed foods are the reason for the growth in obesity and obesity-related disease/fatality. Producers of these foods use tricks like "increasing mouthfeel" to encourage you to eat more and more and more of their product, which is usually stuffed with salt, fat, and sugar. If you look at traditional cultures with lower instances of obesity-related deaths (France, Japan, etc.), you'll see that the types of foods eaten is all over the map (from seaweed to fried pork to creamy sauces) but what all have in common is that the portion sizes eaten is generally on the small side. Scientists have substantially increased the lifespans of rats by putting them on special severely calorie-restricted diets. Not saying we should all go on diets like that, just saying that overeating is very taxing to our systems. Since things like Cheetos and Funyuns exist for no other purpose than to sell as much product as possible and contain all the nutritional goodness of a pencil, we would all be better off limiting these "foods". (She types, while eating a mini Kit Kat.)
So, no cheaters and no Cheetos. Next question?
John Doe
Justified Snob
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Not to sound racist or anything, but...
Bird-men are starting to sound like real bastards.
parodyluvr75
Owl of Minerva
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They are. 
StrangeLife
Eater of beef
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You might be missing out on an exiting adventure in a location away from all the daily drudgery of normal life with a good-looking stranger. Where you can forget your partner for a few hours and get lost in the fantasy of being wild and free again. Enjoy the thrill of exploring new and unknown territory, with unusual tastes, smells and sounds.
Discover that you're more than "Mrs. Snodgrass - midled aged head librarian" or "Mr. Gaylord - accountant and slightly balding". For a few hours you're simply a sexual being and there is somebody out there who is turned on by you. Somebody who desires you, despite knowing little else about you. A boost to your self-confidence of unparalleled power.
If I'm not the person cheating, none of this is my problem. I did not exchange vows with my mistress' spouse... I owe him nothing and their marriage is no concern of mine. I'm not the custodian of their relationship. She is a cheater - I am not.
I have a similar background to your hubby. My first marriage ended in cheating as well... and she was the cheatee. Actually one of her justifications was, that I was cheating on her too, because I used all my time on my job and my car. So she claimed that my job was my mistress. Gotta love female logic...
Despite my defence of the enabling party, I myself never cheated on my first wife, nor would I cheat on my current spouse.... not even if she wasn't ex military with the ability to kill me in 217 different ways with a paper clip. If I ever got tired of her, I would simply divorce her and move on. In this day and age a marriage is no slave contract and all states accept no-fault divorce based on "irreconcilable differences".
But if I was single and a hot soccer-mom indicated that she wanted to involve me in a session of intense ball-play of the spicy variety, my reply would be "Your place or mine or that motel over there?" Does that make me a bad person?
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BiGuyfromOz
Really Experienced
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The only baggage you want is what comes round on the carousel, I leave mine at the door. It's a shame a lot don't. Everyone has it
Debbie
Persnickety slattern
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StrangeLife,
I am a sexual being. I'm a monogamous, loved up married woman. I love role playing with the Mr, writing erotica and incorporating that and hi jinks into our marriage and relationship to keep it sexy and lively.
Being monogamous and married is not always a death sentence to rolls in the hay.
The man and I have an agreement. If things aren't working and we need to go our own way then that's what we do. No cheating.
Sometimes I think some people make cheating sound exciting and risque. Is it really? Or is that just at the beginning? What about the feelings of guilt? Fear of getting caught? Meeting where no one will see you together and tell the spouse.
Is it just about the sex? No commitments. No expectations other than just a screw?
I am a sexual being. I'm a monogamous, loved up married woman. I love role playing with the Mr, writing erotica and incorporating that and hi jinks into our marriage and relationship to keep it sexy and lively.
Being monogamous and married is not always a death sentence to rolls in the hay.
The man and I have an agreement. If things aren't working and we need to go our own way then that's what we do. No cheating.
Sometimes I think some people make cheating sound exciting and risque. Is it really? Or is that just at the beginning? What about the feelings of guilt? Fear of getting caught? Meeting where no one will see you together and tell the spouse.
Is it just about the sex? No commitments. No expectations other than just a screw?
Laurel
Kitty Mama
- Joined
- Aug 27, 1999
- Posts
- 20,679
Laurel,
Any strong feelings about peeps?
I love them. They have great mouthfeel.
John Doe
Justified Snob
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2004
- Posts
- 54,119
StrangeLife,
I am a sexual being. I'm a monogamous, loved up married woman. I love role playing with the Mr, writing erotica and incorporating that and hi jinks into our marriage and relationship to keep it sexy and lively.
Being monogamous and married is not always a death sentence to rolls in the hay.
The man and I have an agreement. If things aren't working and we need to go our own way then that's what we do. No cheating.
Sometimes I think some people make cheating sound exciting and risque. Is it really? Or is that just at the beginning? What about the feelings of guilt? Fear of getting caught? Meeting where no one will see you together and tell the spouse.
Is it just about the sex? No commitments. No expectations other than just a screw?
The way people describe it it strikes me as alternating between boring and terrifying. Maybe some people get off on emotional roller coasters?
