Am I revirginized?

[JohnnyA]

I have only been in one relationship my whole life. Being transgendered has made finding someone hard and made everything so difficult.

The one girl I slept with was in 1999 and we dated and made love for 6 months. Since then I haven't slept with another human being, barely even made out with anyone or been touched.

I've only given a few blowjobs in the past year and that was to make some money when I was homeless.

Is this a good thing to people? When I try and get into a relationship will people find this cute and innocent or weird and think I'm a loser?

I know my way around the bedroom I think from the time I spent with my girl and from knowing what its like to have a male body and my now transitioning female body. I dunno, my sexuality is a conundrum.

 

[Etoile]

It's going to depend on the person you find yourself with. Some may find it weird, and you don't care about them, because they don't care about the depth of your personal experience. They can't respect the journey you've been on. Some may find it cute and innocent, and may take pleasure in teaching you. Some may not care at all. Some may be in the same place, and you'll learn together.

 

[StacyCD39]

Johnny, as someone who is dealing with my own ideas of my gender/sexuality, I can honestly say that I don't think you should concern yourself at all about what people think of you. You sound like you have a beautiful soul, and you're looking for someone to share your life and happiness with.

And I certainly don't think you're a loser, either. I think you're just someone who's desperate to connect to someone on a spiritual and emotional level. Besides, you already have more courage than most people in the world, the courage to come out and embrace who you are. For that, you should be commended and celebrated. Not condemned.



When you do find that person, they won't judge you, or think you're weird. They'll love you for who you are, mind, body, and soul. I'm sorry if it sounds cliche, but that's what I believe.

*hugs*

 

[JohnnyA]

It just seems like I've boxed myself into such a corner that I'll never get into a relationship with anyone, ever. How sad a life will it be if I just go through it all alone. All I really want to do is please someone out there and share in the joy of life.

I get so lonely and sad and it doesnt help that I dont have a family anymore. I feel like crying all the time now. If that person is out there looking for me I wish we could connect, I can't do this all alone and it's all I've ever been able to do since I was a kid. I hate it when I see couples out on the streets and happy, I envy them so much and it breaks my heart.

I'm sorry to vent, its just that my life is fallling apart all around me and I have no one to help me. I'm scared of becoming homeless or forced to go out and be a whore or something. If anyone out there knew how pure and sweet I was they would save me, but no one can see me.

 

[silver_eyes]

Johnny,
First off, don't call yourself Johnny. Use the female name you've no doubt given yourself. I think you look like "Jennifer"
Second, be vigilant, GOD has always made that perfect someone for everyone, but it's your responsability (how the hell do you spell that!) to find them and keep them.
Third, if it helps, think of me cuddling with you tonight. Your head on my shoulder, my arm draped across your breast, me pressed up against your back, not sexually, but comfortingly.

Hang in there!

 

[JohnnyA]

Thanks. I don't want to use Johnny, but I like this account since its old and has been through a lot. I don't want to start from scratch I guess.

I am not as sad as I was last night, now today I'm just wondering how the heck I'm going to find a job.