Am I crazy? IRL Domme session

[artslut86]

I've been thinking about all this online Domme stuff and how perhaps that is super hard to actually find someone and also as a newbie to be adopted into the Sub clan sans learning the ropes as they say.
It seems based on limited experience that nobody 'wants' to teach or train or are fairly non committed to the sides of the relationship that need to be managed. But hey why should this be different than any other r.ship issue eh!

So I decided to book a session with a for fee/tribute person for 2 hours for next week. And another with another Domme for 3 hours the week after.
Its going to be expensive, but I think of this like a language immersive experience. I'm hoping this will clarify what I am capable of doing to serve a D well, and please her vs frustrate her.
I'm hoping to understand, explore and define my kinks more clearly.
The two ladies in question have both agreed to after some discussion, structure sessions that feed most of what I hope to understand about myself, while being schooled by them in proper or more appropriate behaviour. While also understanding if I can actually be less willful, and broken in to boot.

Am I crazy?

 

[PaxNurgle]

Crazy? No. Having a real-life experience is a good way to get a feel for what you may enjoy and may not, and a good way to get a handle on what your kinks- and limits- are. It is a good way to start, and to learn about BDSM, should the time come that you have a chance for a real and lasting long-term D/S relationship.

 

[artslut86]

Cheers.
I'm nervous as frick...about actually physically experiencing all those fantasies.
But let's get it on!

 

[artslut86]

Oh..and a long IRL.. that is a pipe dream

 

[artslut86]

Exactly.
I think the sub D thing for me is not a lifestyle more a means to an end that has some fun to it. Thanks for sharing.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Good luck to you and I hope your sessions are as intense and powerful as you hope them to be.

Seeing a pro is a good way to explore what your limits are, as well as your kinks. If you haven't already done so you might want to discuss what you want out of the session, your kinks, likes, limits, and such, with her before hand. There are BDSM/fetish related activities that I find intensely enjoyable, and others which are hard limits and the mere thought of them makes me uncomfortable. I suspect this is true for you as well.

 

[artslut86]

Yep. Had an email chat.then we will discuss in person on Tuesday pre session.
Her quote ' my kinks and your interests align, I can't wait to get my claws on you....'
What could possibly go wrong !

 

[artslut86]

Well.
That was both interesting and disappointing.
I have another session with a different person next week.
I did learn some things, and post session went home and experienced what I believe was my first p-spot orgasm, limited as it was [timing, distractions and interupts] ....But a modest step forward.

Pay for play is a private form of performance art it seems.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Well.
That was both interesting and disappointing.
I have another session with a different person next week.
I did learn some things, and post session went home and experienced what I believe was my first p-spot orgasm, limited as it was [timing, distractions and interupts] ....But a modest step forward.

Pay for play is a private form of performance art it seems.

Step forward is good and interesting too.
As for disappointing…I mean, people will tell you swoony stories but to some extent, there is going to be things that don’t feel like you expect them to feel, interactions that don’t go as you expected etc because in fantasy you are in control and in reality, that’s not the case. And you are learning each other perhaps without the smitten swooney thing as a buffer, so that makes for some awkwardness.
What you do get by experimenting the way you are doing, is experience that can not be replaced in my opinion.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Yes. Whether good or bad in the moment, experience is experience- and in the long run, such experiences can be helpful for learning and growing - both in terms of BDSM and as a person looking for any long-term fulfillment in a relationship.

 

[artslut86]

Pax good pts.
I don't see me really ever finding nor being in a long term d/s IRL . Some of the post comment discussion I had with this D, was well, childish and pointless. If that's the 'scene' it ain't for me.

But, is it expanding my horizons, am I learning about my my at my age yes. So all good.
After being dismissed by an online D as too much work to train I thought this might help me when I'm truly 'helpless'.. but ends up it's all a bit of a shell game.

For instance I can say when being edged...'mercy' when I'm not Really ready... Especially when I'm doing the stroking [which was 50% of the session mind u] ...so we racked up 50% of the edges for free because the D was not tuned in, and I could sense that this felt more and more like a bit of a lark.

So in retrospect while I'm sucking that pierced nipple or licking that boot or w.e. is she grimacing and dealing with some tosser wanting to drop a load???
I know when women are turned on and turned on by me. Plus I had to endure the whole her fake orgasm via vib thru leather....lol... no wonder I couldn't be fucked coming when permitted.
Aspects of this were a sincere turn on, and the need desire to hand over power was thrilling. Where it was placed and how it was used left a lot to be desired.

 

[artslut86]

session 2 under my belt. WOW.
What a mind Fuck.
That was amazing.
PArt actress, part scene creator, part sapio.
We spent quiet a bit of time getting acquainted. Discussion who she was, why I was here. Then protocols.
This was a tasting menu, fully under her hand and control.
It went something like this:
Cuffed and blind folded to ceiling bar. Where various implements were run over my entire body excluding my genitals, stocking legs pressed up against me, she noted how extremely sensitive to touch I was and put al of that to good work as we progressed. Some very light touching on the genitals mainly teasing.

We moved via choker chain direction to the saddle horse where we explored some anal play and what felt ok, using a variety of implements and a lot of open dialogue, but playfully and firmly directed. A very tricky thing to balance.

We then explored standing rope binding. This too was intense. Whole body bound, C&B bound and then edging for an extended time, that required a lot of focus to not fall [even though I could not fall due to how I was bound] , that is when things really started to heat up.

Then to the mat, hands clipped to ankles and thighs and some gentle anal play, and a lot more aggressive edging. Then as we entered hour 3 a move to the 'cradle' which had a shit load of mirrors, I could not look anywhere and no see my self being man handled, massaged, and pegged.

After care, and a long post shower discussion wrapped up a delightful exploration of kinks and what moved me and why. Something that I would pay to do again. The cool thing was I never touched her, there was a lot of that in the prior session, which while fun as an older dude playing with a very attractive woman young woman, it felt somehow inappropriate. I was not there for a 'sex date'. This Mistress, forbade me to touch her, unless told to, and he outfit was alluring and sexy and absolutely not making her privates accessible. Very soothing in fact. I knew I was the subject, and she was the controller. I was told to focus on my balance thru my feet, my shoulder position and my breathing. Everything else she was in charge of.

So much fun.
The very next night, my partner exhibited what I will call abnormal levels of interest in me, so we got to play extensively, and I applied some techniques learned, and pushed our vanilla envelope a little further open to bdsm lite, really back to where it was when we first got married. She loved it.

A win all around.

thanks for letting me share, I have no 1 I can really talk about any of this with now the online Domme is history. I appreciate it.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Thanks for sharing! It sounded like a wonderful, powerful, and sensual experience. What it should be.

 

[artslut86]

By the way, thanks to you in particular and others for being a positive and encouraging member of the community here.

 

[Lady2020]

I've been thinking about all this online Domme stuff and how perhaps that is super hard to actually find someone and also as a newbie to be adopted into the Sub clan sans learning the ropes as they say.
It seems based on limited experience that nobody 'wants' to teach or train or are fairly non committed to the sides of the relationship that need to be managed. But hey why should this be different than any other r.ship issue eh!

So I decided to book a session with a for fee/tribute person for 2 hours for next week. And another with another Domme for 3 hours the week after.
Its going to be expensive, but I think of this like a language immersive experience. I'm hoping this will clarify what I am capable of doing to serve a D well, and please her vs frustrate her.
I'm hoping to understand, explore and define my kinks more clearly.
The two ladies in question have both agreed to after some discussion, structure sessions that feed most of what I hope to understand about myself, while being schooled by them in proper or more appropriate behaviour. While also understanding if I can actually be less willful, and broken in to boot.

Am I crazy?

No. Just remember common sense.

 

[StoneDiva]

session 2 under my belt. WOW.
What a mind Fuck.
That was amazing.
PArt actress, part scene creator, part sapio.
We spent quiet a bit of time getting acquainted. Discussion who she was, why I was here. Then protocols.
This was a tasting menu, fully under her hand and control.
It went something like this:
Cuffed and blind folded to ceiling bar. Where various implements were run over my entire body excluding my genitals, stocking legs pressed up against me, she noted how extremely sensitive to touch I was and put al of that to good work as we progressed. Some very light touching on the genitals mainly teasing.

We moved via choker chain direction to the saddle horse where we explored some anal play and what felt ok, using a variety of implements and a lot of open dialogue, but playfully and firmly directed. A very tricky thing to balance.

We then explored standing rope binding. This too was intense. Whole body bound, C&B bound and then edging for an extended time, that required a lot of focus to not fall [even though I could not fall due to how I was bound] , that is when things really started to heat up.

Then to the mat, hands clipped to ankles and thighs and some gentle anal play, and a lot more aggressive edging. Then as we entered hour 3 a move to the 'cradle' which had a shit load of mirrors, I could not look anywhere and no see my self being man handled, massaged, and pegged.

After care, and a long post shower discussion wrapped up a delightful exploration of kinks and what moved me and why. Something that I would pay to do again. The cool thing was I never touched her, there was a lot of that in the prior session, which while fun as an older dude playing with a very attractive woman young woman, it felt somehow inappropriate. I was not there for a 'sex date'. This Mistress, forbade me to touch her, unless told to, and he outfit was alluring and sexy and absolutely not making her privates accessible. Very soothing in fact. I knew I was the subject, and she was the controller. I was told to focus on my balance thru my feet, my shoulder position and my breathing. Everything else she was in charge of.

So much fun.
The very next night, my partner exhibited what I will call abnormal levels of interest in me, so we got to play extensively, and I applied some techniques learned, and pushed our vanilla envelope a little further open to bdsm lite, really back to where it was when we first got married. She loved it.

A win all around.

thanks for letting me share, I have no 1 I can really talk about any of this with now the online Domme is history. I appreciate it.

Thanks for sharing your experience! Sounds like you found a true professional.

 

[artslut86]

Went back for more.
Its all about trust and to some extent the ability to 'play the game'.

 

[RoperTrace]

session 2 under my belt. WOW.
What a mind Fuck.
That was amazing.
PArt actress, part scene creator, part sapio.
We spent quiet a bit of time getting acquainted. Discussion who she was, why I was here. Then protocols.
This was a tasting menu, fully under her hand and control.
It went something like this:
Cuffed and blind folded to ceiling bar. Where various implements were run over my entire body excluding my genitals, stocking legs pressed up against me, she noted how extremely sensitive to touch I was and put al of that to good work as we progressed. Some very light touching on the genitals mainly teasing.

We moved via choker chain direction to the saddle horse where we explored some anal play and what felt ok, using a variety of implements and a lot of open dialogue, but playfully and firmly directed. A very tricky thing to balance.

We then explored standing rope binding. This too was intense. Whole body bound, C&B bound and then edging for an extended time, that required a lot of focus to not fall [even though I could not fall due to how I was bound] , that is when things really started to heat up.

Then to the mat, hands clipped to ankles and thighs and some gentle anal play, and a lot more aggressive edging. Then as we entered hour 3 a move to the 'cradle' which had a shit load of mirrors, I could not look anywhere and no see my self being man handled, massaged, and pegged.

After care, and a long post shower discussion wrapped up a delightful exploration of kinks and what moved me and why. Something that I would pay to do again. The cool thing was I never touched her, there was a lot of that in the prior session, which while fun as an older dude playing with a very attractive woman young woman, it felt somehow inappropriate. I was not there for a 'sex date'. This Mistress, forbade me to touch her, unless told to, and he outfit was alluring and sexy and absolutely not making her privates accessible. Very soothing in fact. I knew I was the subject, and she was the controller. I was told to focus on my balance thru my feet, my shoulder position and my breathing. Everything else she was in charge of.

So much fun.
The very next night, my partner exhibited what I will call abnormal levels of interest in me, so we got to play extensively, and I applied some techniques learned, and pushed our vanilla envelope a little further open to bdsm lite, really back to where it was when we first got married. She loved it.

A win all around.

thanks for letting me share, I have no 1 I can really talk about any of this with now the online Domme is history. I appreciate it.

That sounded intense, especially for someone experiencing this for the 1st or 2nd time. Did you have someone to drive you home?

 

[artslut86]

Nah, I was fine afterwards. No biggie really once you exit the space its all somehow dream like.
I went back for another session.
That got both funky and also less appealing in some ways.
I have a very heightened sense of smell, there appears to be an odor to a lot of this, that is unappealing to me.
So time for a break.

 

[artslut86]

I suspect body odour.. that femme 'smell me BO ' thing. Not a fan

 

[Dearelliot]

I'm old now but it took me more than a few years of D/s play until I was fully able to feel comfortable with all of it.
As I got older I found the things that had bothered me when I was younger, are now appealing and exciting.
Since price matters to me, it hasn't been easy to find the right Mistress for me.
IMO. Of course, they are all in it for the money, and many mistresses are not very good at it. I was lucky, one of the first Dominant ladies I met was a true professional mistress with the right attitude and equipment. I can see today with prices, and many so called mistresses advertising, a male submissive just starting out may be turned off by the scene, at least in New Jersey.

 

[artslut86]

@Dearelliot good comment. I bet things will change over time for me too. I've recently reconnected with my online Domme. Her control over me and mental games, are so much more powerful, even if I'm the one doing the touching. I'd rather find ways to spend time with her online that fork over $1k for a few hours of fun. I did however learn alot about the range of sensations and experiences which has led me to seek My Mistress to explore those with me. So not a total bust!

 

[Dearelliot]

@Dearelliot good comment. I bet things will change over time for me too. I've recently reconnected with my online Domme. Her control over me and mental games, are so much more powerful, even if I'm the one doing the touching. I'd rather find ways to spend time with her online that fork over $1k for a few hours of fun. I did however learn alot about the range of sensations and experiences which has led me to seek My Mistress to explore those with me. So not a total bust!

You may wish to try using E stim, with the Mistress in control of the duration and intensity of the stimulation.

 

[artslut86]

You may wish to try using E stim, with the Mistress in control of the duration and intensity of the stimulation.

Lol... we did that Monday!

 

[shrek100]

Really interesting to read this.