Alternative Valentines

[Backdoor_Bella]

here is where you can write your idea for a Valentine's Day card or candy heart that expresses how you really feel, since you are not normal. Edit: it doesn't necessarily need to be directed at the person above you, just putting it 'out there'

I'll start:

I could spend an eternity anonymously diddling myself to your AV

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

here is where you can write your idea for a Valentine's Day card or candy heart that expresses how you really feel, since you are not normal.

I'll start:

I could spend an eternity anonymously diddling myself to your AV

HA! I've been thinking about a V-Day thread, too! Great minds, missy.



Darling, just the very mention of your name makes me squirt buckets of cum.

 

[dirtwrench]

I tried to think up a loving, beautiful Valentine card.

But all my dirty lil mind could focus on was Bella & Honey. All blood went to the wrong head.

 

[Backdoor_Bella]

I tried to think up a loving, beautiful Valentine card.

But all my dirty lil mind could focus on was Bella & Honey. All blood went to the wrong head.

but alas, that is the type of head that needs to do the thinking for the valentines in this thread

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

but alas, that is the type of head that needs to do the thinking for the valentines in this thread

Please say you'll be my dirty little cumslut.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I tried to think up a loving, beautiful Valentine card.

But all my dirty lil mind could focus on was Bella & Honey. All blood went to the wrong head.

Wishing on a star that you will throw your wrench into my works and fuck me up seven ways 'til Sunday.

 

[dirtwrench]

Well then...

You know I meant to be a good boy. Yet when you bent over and Honey smiled as she spread your cheeks, how could I not push myself deep into your heart?

More like what ya had in mind?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Well then...

You know I meant to be a good boy. Yet when you bent over and Honey smiled as she spread your cheeks, how could I not push myself deep into your heart?

More like what ya had in mind?

Come closer, dear, and let me kiss your sweet ass-cheeks.

 

[ukmark]

Saw a card the other day on Facebook that said something along the lines of 'There is nobody else I'd rather lie in bed and look at my phone next to.' Read whilst lying in bed next to my wife, both of us on our phones.

 

[Backdoor_Bella]

My Darling, your cum stains will forever adorn 65% of my teddy bear collection, that spot on the ceiling, and the underside of my couch cushion, which I've lovingly flipped

 

[DesEsseintes]

You occasionally prevent most of the voices in my head from shouting about killing myself. Not Steve, though. That fucker's loud.

 

[Backdoor_Bella]

You occasionally prevent most of the voices in my head from shouting about killing myself. Not Steve, though. That fucker's loud.

oh, you sweet talker!

it was too long ago, my love, that the hairiness of your taint covered the emptiness of my face

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I almost love you enough to shave my legs.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

oh, you sweet talker!

it was too long ago, my love, that the hairiness of your taint covered the emptiness of my face

omg Bella ha ha ha


I heard 'our song' just the other day and thought of you.

You know the one... Spurt That Cheesy Cawk-Juice, White Boy.

 

[ydahecnot]

Just for you, my Valentine, a bonbon ball gag

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I'd walk a mile in your stripper shoes and chastity belt just to be near you.

 

[ukmark]

I'd crawl a thousand miles through broken glass just to use your shit as toothpaste.

Shamelessly stolen from Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting.

 

[Backdoor_Bella]

I'd crawl a thousand miles through broken glass just to use your shit as toothpaste.

Shamelessly stolen from Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting.

I've heard a version of that, but instead of shit toothpaste, it was 'just to hear you toot through a walkie-talkie'

 

[Backdoor_Bella]

would you make me the happiest woman alive and be my friend with benefits?

 

[ukmark]

I love you nearly as much as Kanye loves himself.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Pin me down, tie me up, say you'll never let me go.

 

[ydahecnot]

I'd let you hold me in your dungeon forever.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I'd let you hold me in your dungeon forever.

Wrap your straitjacket around me and tell me you love me, baby.

 

[Sundayschild]

Saw a card the other day on Facebook that said something along the lines of 'There is nobody else I'd rather lie in bed and look at my phone next to.' Read whilst lying in bed next to my wife, both of us on our phones.

Love this one

 

[elli1]

"you think i'm clever and you laugh at my jokes, so you can stay"