Age Diversity and Online Relationships

[Dhalgren]

Have you ever noticed that physical age seems a bit more irrelevant online?

I’ve met 40 year olds that act like they are in 3rd grade, while I’ve known 22 year humans whom conduct themselves way past their mortal age.

Though I do relate to many different age groups in my real life..I do know that I’ve developed some really close relationships online with people way before I’d ever venture to guess their actual age.

I’m not so sure if I’d actually become close friends with someone who is 15 years older or younger than me if we simply saw each other in a café.

I’m thinking more people have intimate relationships with people in vastly different age groups when they happen to meet online.

 

[Jimi]

Good call, Dhalgren

Yes, and it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual... Being of the "older" persuasion, myself.

 

[lovetoread]

The person I have found is older than I am.

I am not sure if we had not met online first and found that we had so much in common, that we would have gotten together.

 

[plasticman33]

Very true! When you meet on line, the normal physical things that attract a man to a woman or vice versa, are non-existant. That includes age. You become attracted by someones mind, their personality, their intelligence and the physical distraction is not present.

 

[ksmybuttons]

The increased exposure to people is the draw for me. I find that how people own their experiences makes a difference. The more times they have successfully negotiated their experiences grows them, no matter what their age.

It is interesting to read where people are at and how they are letting it form them. I like the people that, no matter what their age, continue to push their boundaries.

 

[Guest]

Age is merely physical measurement of time upon this earth. Age and maturity don't always go hand in hand. I've known quite the young wise and the old child.

Dhalgren, I so enjoy your posts.

 

[JazzManJim]

I'm inclined to agree with you, Dhalgren. It's the whole "mental age" thing I read about from time to time.

But what do I know, really? I'm only 12.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Age does not really matter to be ... online or in real life.
In rl I tend to have an array of friends ranging in age.

I love meeting people who vary in age, I enjoy seeing their insight to various subjects.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Most of my friends, both on and offline are older than me, though offline, the age difference between me and them is larger than it is here. The few that are younger are 'old souls' who, like me, don't really fit in with their peers.

Perhaps the reason there isn't much of a difference for me, is that in both settings, it's a select group of people who come together because they have something in common. Age is immaterial. My offline friends are almost all involved with horses. Even if our ages, economic status, ethnicity, etc are vastly different, we have that in common, and it binds us. It's the same for me here, the bond is formed before age is ever a topic of discussion.

tangent...

That's why I hesitate to post on age threads most of the time. I don't want someone to see my age, and pass judgement accordingly. "Ahhh, she's a kid/'gen x'er." I'd rather be known for something more than the # of days I've spent breathing. Ya know?

 

[riff]

I see myself as a big 38 year old baby right now. I have a lot of smarts, but in many ways I am grossly immature and I am trying to get better or at least find the place within myself where I can be comfortable with who, and what, I am.

 

[Jimi]

That's why I hesitate to post on age threads most of the time. I don't want someone to see my age, and pass judgement accordingly. "Ahhh, she's a kid/'gen x'er." I'd rather be known for something more than the # of days I've spent breathing. Ya know?

Having seen your age, PCG - I agree - you are an "old" soul - and quite thoughtful, beyond a mere number.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Having seen your age, PCG - I agree - you are an "old" soul - and quite thoughtful, beyond a mere number.

Thank you.

 

[WhiteRose]

Having had a relationship with someone I met online who was a bit younger than I am, I think it makes me look at men around me IRL a lot differently. I'm open to more possibilities, not so closed to what society deems as "of appropriate age". Getting to know people, even friends, so indepthly online, I think it helps remind me of what is really important in a person, whether it be someone who will be a friend, or someone who will be a lover. The problem now is finding someone IRL who feels the same way.

Course, that's not to say that if I'd met my ex IRL first, we would have ended up together at all. Apparently, from what he and his friends have told me, he doesn't at all act the same on and offline, which make me nervous about entering into any relationship via the internet first now.

IRL almost all of my friends are around 10 years older than I, we just seem to share the same interests or are active in the same activities (mainly dealing with spiritual or cultural issues). Unfortunately, most of the people I run into with my friends are already in relationships, and since none of us normally attend functions that are geared toward "meeting singles", and I'm not a partygirl anyway, it makes it hard to meet people. I need to get out more

 

[lavender]

 

[Rambling Rose]

The vast majority of the people I talk to online are over a decade older than I am.

Oh shut up, will you? Who hid my teeth?

 

[lavender]

 

[plasticman33]

Hell, I met someone on line, got to know them for about 8 months before we met face to face. It turned out I'm 20 years older than she was, but it didn't really and we still had great sex!

 

[Laurel]

I think age does matter, but not for the reasons of maturity or physicality. I'm reading Stud Terkel's new book. In the intro, he discusses the death of his wife, and the fact that he spends some time hanging out with younger folks (he's in his 80s, so it's hard to find people his age who are still around). He enjoys their company, and they're great people, but "they don't know the songs."

They don't know the songs.

We're all shaped by the culture into which we're born. The death of Kurt Cobain, for example, will have meaning for me that it won't have for people 20 or 30 years my senior. People who were my age during WWII or Vietnam will have an entirely different sense of the world than I do. Talking to people ages 25-35, for me, is different from talking to people older or younger. Those people grew up in a world similar to mine. Even if we disagree on politics or religion or fast food favorites, we still share a common set of circumstances. We were around the same age when Reagan was President, when the Challenger exploded, when Cobain shot himself. We grew up in the same pop culture.

We know the same songs.

I love talking to people of all ages, but when I talk to those in my "generation" I feel most at home. As I get older and my generation shrinks, I can imagine I'll feel the same sort of sadness that Terkel does. It must be a weird feeling.

 

[Calamity Jane]

We're all shaped by the culture into which we're born. The death of Kurt Cobain, for example, will have meaning for me that it won't have for people 20 or 30 years my senior. People who were my age during WWII or Vietnam will have an entirely different sense of the world than I do. Talking to people ages 25-35, for me, is different from talking to people older or younger. Those people grew up in a world similar to mine. Even if we disagree on politics or religion or fast food favorites, we still share a common set of circumstances. We were around the same age when Reagan was President, when the Challenger exploded, when Cobain shot himself. We grew up in the same pop culture.

We know the same songs.

Yeah, we're all shaped by the same basic things that were big for our generation... 'where were you whens'... but we're shaped by more than that too, and I think as we (or, I) mature, those things become less important. My friends have kids my age, so they were affected, maybe differently, but still affected by the things that affected me.

I may not know their songs, but I can learn to listen to the music and appreciate it.

 

[Dillinger]

I think age does matter, but not for the reasons of maturity or physicality. I'm reading Stud Terkel's new book. In the intro, he discusses the death of his wife, and the fact that he spends some time hanging out with younger folks (he's in his 80s, so it's hard to find people his age who are still around). He enjoys their company, and they're great people, but "they don't know the songs."

They don't know the songs.

We're all shaped by the culture into which we're born. The death of Kurt Cobain, for example, will have meaning for me that it won't have for people 20 or 30 years my senior. People who were my age during WWII or Vietnam will have an entirely different sense of the world than I do. Talking to people ages 25-35, for me, is different from talking to people older or younger. Those people grew up in a world similar to mine. Even if we disagree on politics or religion or fast food favorites, we still share a common set of circumstances. We were around the same age when Reagan was President, when the Challenger exploded, when Cobain shot himself. We grew up in the same pop culture.

We know the same songs.

I love talking to people of all ages, but when I talk to those in my "generation" I feel most at home. As I get older and my generation shrinks, I can imagine I'll feel the same sort of sadness that Terkel does. It must be a weird feeling.

So - you're telling me that that the incredible connection I felt that day we had lunch was all in my imagination? *sigh*

*grin*

 

[Dhalgren]

Until the Internet…I was absolutely sure that I would never date somebody 15 years in either direction of myself.

I’m married and very much monogamous..but for some odd reason, my body still functions, heh.


So otherwise..I’d now, totally consider it.

~grins~

Meanwhile the friendships I’ve developed online are priceless…The diversity of humans make me all tingly.

 

[Dillinger]

Its as I have feared all along - I have officially achieved over-the-hill status... *sigh*

 

[Dhalgren]

Are you kidding?

You are so totally fuckable Dilly..
Your age has nada to do with it.

Plus, I’m thinking you probably know what to do..by now.
~grins~


(Don't I totally sound like the Valley Girl that I am, sometimes?)

 

[Dillinger]

*lol* Thanks for the validation, Dhaly... it was, of course, a leading question and you have now sufficiently stroked my... uhm... ego...

 

[Dhalgren]

And did you notice that you were post number 23 in my thread?

Coincidence?

I think not.
~grins~