Advice Needed

[Royal_Prince]

I will try to cut to the chase

I married my wife in 90- she was just 18 at the time. We had a beautiful daughter.... a year later she cheated on me with my best friend (yes x friend now)

I loved her enough to try to work it all out, but she refused and ended up leaving me for him

We found out later she was pregnant again. (tests later proved it was mine) But it took alomst a year to force a blood test.

She sued me for back child support (just for the son i had never seen or met) I always paid for my daughter. The total $$$ was outragous. She gave me an out though- sign away my rights... I reluctantly did and regreted it tremedously.

7 years passed- she dumped my best friend and slowly we worked our way back into each others lives. We have been dating for over a year now. (and yes I even get to see my son) the thing is though, its been a year and she still hides the fact that we see each other from my son. Cause he still sees asshole as his dad (im patient with that thought) she also isnt ready for a commitment of any kind.

Shes got my heart BUT!!! if it were any other person besides the mother of my 2 kids id say see ya...

theres my quandry... should i give up and move on or be patient?

 

[*bratcat*]

Royal?

 

[Royal_Prince]

thanks

your the greatest. I know how big it is, ive been trying to figure it out for over a year now. and sometimes I think its driving me nuts...

 

[jcgirl]

He should definitly know that your his father. I cant believe it was never brought up before

 

[Royal_Prince]

my son really does know but he had called the other guy dad for so long that its hard to get him away from that notion. He does call me dad though that took a year of homework, movies, and long talks to achieve.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[jcgirl]

alright, then Im confused on the dilemma. Is it that she wont tell him that your dating?

Maybe she shouldnt until it gets serious enough that he will have to see you together all the time

 

[Xander]

Well RP. Just my two cents here.

Only you can determin if it's worth it all. I understand that with two children involved, it automatically becomes more complicated.

Now loves tend to move in mysterious ways. Trust me, this I know first hand. And I guess you'll have to see if Your ex er...date....er ...mother of your children, wants it to happen between you two.

If so, I'll say go for it and see if you can become a family again.

Nut if your heart deep down inside says, this is getting nowhere. I do think you should move on, and find some kind of comprimise with your ex, so you can see your children more often.

Let it be noted. That in both cases, I may be wrong, and way out og line. If so, I apologise.

 

[Royal_Prince]

okay will do bc!!! im at work also so sometimes i drift away from the board.

and jc, yeah i think my problem is that she is keeping me a secret from everyone (including my kids) I swear sometimes it feels like im around until she finds someone else. She tells me she loves me BUT at the same time she tells me that she has never been on her own and she wants to give that a try. I know a year isnt a long time to date but heck shes not giving me a clue on how long it will take.

oh and I never say anything to her when she goes "out"

yet when i go out...gawd she never lets me hear the end of it

 

[Royal_Prince]

Thanks Xander

ever see fraizer when he's not so sure that he is actually on a date... Even when him and his date go to bed together hes still not sure because she would say something to lead him on and then say something to cut him off LOL, well thats my x in a nutshell. One day im convenced that shes heads over heels, the next I think she can take me or leave me

 

[Xander]

Re: Thanks Xander

ever see fraizer when he's not so sure that he is actually on a date... Even when him and his date go to bed together hes still not sure because she would say something to lead him on and then say something to cut him off LOL, well thats my x in a nutshell. One day im convenced that shes heads over heels, the next I think she can take me or leave me

Yes I know the Show Frasier, and also the feeling.
No one said it was going to be easy. And damn was they right about that!!!

 

[Royal_Prince]

gotta say

I laughed head of on that fraizer. It was almost as funny as the episode fraizer was trying to hide he was christian from a jewish mother.

Women- gotta love em

 

[*bratcat*]

sorry but have to LOL

 

[Comshaw]

RP, All I can do is tell you how I would handle it if it were me. I hope it helps you to pick the best course of action.
My first and for most thought would be for the kids. The questions I'd be asking myself are;
1. Will it do either my son or daughter harm?
2. Will it help either one of them?
3. Do I really want to trust her again?
4. Am I willing to put up with what I have been for the chance we may be able to be part of each others lives?

Think on it and be brutally honest with the answers. You can lie to anyone else, but if you want the best way to go, you can't afford to lie to yourself. You are in a very difficult situation and can lose yourself very easily. I hope you find your way.

Comshaw

 

[Xander]

Re: gotta say

I laughed head of on that fraizer. It was almost as funny as the episode fraizer was trying to hide he was christian from a jewish mother.

Women- gotta love em

Yes, women....gotta love'em.

 

[Royal_Prince]

Comshaw

i think i am sure about everyone of the points that you listed but one
#4 Am I willing to put up with what I have been for the chance we may be able to be part of each others lives?

If i can be honest about that one I might have it all the way figured out

thanks