OffJackson
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I’m a woman In the menopause and I find it harder and harder to get the highs during sex.
How is it for you?
Any advices?
How is it for you?
Any advices?
Advice me: Sexuality and menopause
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HumpDayHoratio
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I’m a guy, so everything I”m going to tell you is suspect! 
.
My wife is in full blown menopause, Men-O-Pause….emphasis on the pause! I think I know of what ye speak. These are some cut and pastes I’ve pulled up from other threads where this subject has come up. If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to me in the open or DM’s…
These are a couple of articles that will help you possibly understand what you’re going through;
EDIT: i didn’t mean to sound man-splainiy here but they’re good articles and if you’re just starting the change of life they may be enlightening…
She has cut back on the Peachy Crème due to a new Gyno that recommended a prescription (big surprise there
) but she decided to give it a shot. She has had pretty good luck with this before but it wasn’t the end all be all. Trial and error rule the day and what worked for her may not work for you but it gives you some options and things to research.
.My wife is in full blown menopause, Men-O-Pause….emphasis on the pause! I think I know of what ye speak. These are some cut and pastes I’ve pulled up from other threads where this subject has come up. If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to me in the open or DM’s…
These are a couple of articles that will help you possibly understand what you’re going through;
EDIT: i didn’t mean to sound man-splainiy here but they’re good articles and if you’re just starting the change of life they may be enlightening…
This is a cut and paste of a DM I had with another lady. This is the protocols my wife has used with some links for you;
She has cut back on the Peachy Crème due to a new Gyno that recommended a prescription (big surprise there
) but she decided to give it a shot. She has had pretty good luck with this before but it wasn’t the end all be all. Trial and error rule the day and what worked for her may not work for you but it gives you some options and things to research.
Last edited:
OffJackson
Virgin
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- Jul 11, 2024
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Hi HumpDayHoratio and everyone else!
HumpDayHoratio: Thanks for your answer. I appreciate it. But reading the articles I realize that I’m looking for something else. I have already read so much and I what examples of something more “hands on”.
HumpDayHoratio: Thanks for your answer. I appreciate it. But reading the articles I realize that I’m looking for something else. I have already read so much and I what examples of something more “hands on”.
- New ways of masturbation?
- More or new better lube? (I can’t use CBD based things…)
- Less sex or do you have scheduled sex/masturbation to keep it up?
- Do you find your clitoris less sensitive? What do you do about that?
- Suggestion of any great sex toys for us in menopaus?
HumpDayHoratio
Slightly Aged
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I can’t answer a lot of these but that last bullet point I can.
My wife bought a JoyLux women’s intimate wellness wand. As of yet she hasn’t used it so I can only pass on the review of the ladies on the website. They all swear by the thing, although some have complained about the durability of it. I was a tad suspect especially the price, but rolled the dice on it. It’s not a quick fix…they say it takes a month or more of daily use to see results but it’s worth looking into. There are cheaper brands on the market if I remember.
This is my post from a different thread. Written from a man's perspective but hopefully helpful nonetheless. Sorry for the lengthy, but hopefully worth it...
My wife's menopause came at a relatively young age and with a vengence. Along with its other not-so-fun symptoms, it left my wife struggling to have an orgasm. Sadly, she felt so much implied pressure from me to climax that she ended up preferring NOT having sex to doing it but failing to reach the Big "O". She didn't talk about it and I, being the oft-insensitive clod I am, didn't really pick up on it. After much frustration and heartache spanning several years, we agreed to see a sex-therapist. On her recommendation, we both read Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex by Emily Nagoski. I must admit that I fucking HATE self help books and approach reading them with considerable skepticism.
Well, skepticism aside, the book and the therapy were awesome as they prompted lots of honest and uncomfortable conversation about our own needs and wants. But most importantly, it helped us realize that the goal of sex is NOT necessarily having an orgasm but rather to simply enjoy being intimate with each other. ..Amazingly, once we stopped making orgasm the goal, my wife started having them again - only occasionally and much smaller than before, but that didn't matter. What mattered, is we were enjoying sex again, with all of the credit going to better communication, more liberal use of toys, and a crap-ton of high-quality lube.
As for the pain my wife was starting to experience w/ PIV sex, her OBGYN prescribed Estradiol cream. ..It took many weeks to start working but once it did it greatly reduced discomfort which also helped to restore her desire. Next, we bought a dildo with a MUCH thinner girth than my dick. I LOVE my new role of inserting it, with lots of lube, and slowly and rhythmically pushing it in and out as she uses a suction toy on her clitoris. ..Nowadays, her best orgasms come from this. ..After she's done w/ the dildo and suction toy she either invites me to go in (add more lube!) or maybe titty-fuck her if she's a bit sore already. And if I am invited in, I stop if I sense any discomfort on her part.. ..I'd much rather not cum in her than let the sex become uncomfortable for her. Sometimes, I'll finish on her breasts or lay on my back and finish myself off as she watches and caresses (kinky and fun), or if I'm tired I'll do it in the shower the next morning - usually to mental images from the night before.
Sex for us these days is different but awesome - for me, I can honestly say it's better than ever. We're doing things we didn't do before therapy like using butt-plugs, her pegging me with her dildo (f'ing awesome!), lots of eating her ass and lots foot stuff (I'm absolutely nuts for my wife's feet). ..All of these things were in the back of mind for years, but therapy and the book helped me be honest about wanting them, and helped my wife understand I'm not a weirdo for wanting them - just a guy with a high sex drive who adore's his wife.
So don't give up, people. ..Just make sure you don't put "O" pressure on your partner - it's totally counterproductive. And make sure your partner knows she's beautiful, sexy and appreciated. Say it, and fucking mean it!!!! Don't say it just b/c you expect sex in return, do it to brighten her day and because you love her.
My wife's menopause came at a relatively young age and with a vengence. Along with its other not-so-fun symptoms, it left my wife struggling to have an orgasm. Sadly, she felt so much implied pressure from me to climax that she ended up preferring NOT having sex to doing it but failing to reach the Big "O". She didn't talk about it and I, being the oft-insensitive clod I am, didn't really pick up on it. After much frustration and heartache spanning several years, we agreed to see a sex-therapist. On her recommendation, we both read Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex by Emily Nagoski. I must admit that I fucking HATE self help books and approach reading them with considerable skepticism.
Well, skepticism aside, the book and the therapy were awesome as they prompted lots of honest and uncomfortable conversation about our own needs and wants. But most importantly, it helped us realize that the goal of sex is NOT necessarily having an orgasm but rather to simply enjoy being intimate with each other. ..Amazingly, once we stopped making orgasm the goal, my wife started having them again - only occasionally and much smaller than before, but that didn't matter. What mattered, is we were enjoying sex again, with all of the credit going to better communication, more liberal use of toys, and a crap-ton of high-quality lube.
As for the pain my wife was starting to experience w/ PIV sex, her OBGYN prescribed Estradiol cream. ..It took many weeks to start working but once it did it greatly reduced discomfort which also helped to restore her desire. Next, we bought a dildo with a MUCH thinner girth than my dick. I LOVE my new role of inserting it, with lots of lube, and slowly and rhythmically pushing it in and out as she uses a suction toy on her clitoris. ..Nowadays, her best orgasms come from this. ..After she's done w/ the dildo and suction toy she either invites me to go in (add more lube!) or maybe titty-fuck her if she's a bit sore already. And if I am invited in, I stop if I sense any discomfort on her part.. ..I'd much rather not cum in her than let the sex become uncomfortable for her. Sometimes, I'll finish on her breasts or lay on my back and finish myself off as she watches and caresses (kinky and fun), or if I'm tired I'll do it in the shower the next morning - usually to mental images from the night before.
Sex for us these days is different but awesome - for me, I can honestly say it's better than ever. We're doing things we didn't do before therapy like using butt-plugs, her pegging me with her dildo (f'ing awesome!), lots of eating her ass and lots foot stuff (I'm absolutely nuts for my wife's feet). ..All of these things were in the back of mind for years, but therapy and the book helped me be honest about wanting them, and helped my wife understand I'm not a weirdo for wanting them - just a guy with a high sex drive who adore's his wife.
So don't give up, people. ..Just make sure you don't put "O" pressure on your partner - it's totally counterproductive. And make sure your partner knows she's beautiful, sexy and appreciated. Say it, and fucking mean it!!!! Don't say it just b/c you expect sex in return, do it to brighten her day and because you love her.
