Advice for Luk on purchasing and maintaining vehicles..
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von_Bismarck
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It's even more amusing when Queef doubles down on stupid.
"1 : hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage : ENVIOUS
His success made his old friends jealous.
They were jealous of his success."
CandiCame
Rocket Grunt
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Sweet baby Jesus swaddled in wool, I came in here looking for a good time and y'all...
Fuck it, Ima be wholesome anyway.
I'm looking around for a used tiny off-roader, hopefully, a four-cylinder. I need four-wheel drive and I need it to sit high off the ground because I'm tired of hiking my ass up to my house. I need something I can drive up here. But I want something old and shitty, because that's how I roll, and I don't wanna spend more than five grand on it. Like a tiny little SUV.
I'm supposed to go out and look at an 08 Jeep Patriot tomorrow and it will be the second most dad thing I have ever done since my kid was born (after building the deck). Look at this fucking description:
Stone White 2008 Jeep Patriot Sport 4WD CVT 2.4L 4-Cylinder DOHC 16V Dual VVT 4WD, Pastel Pebble Beige Cloth.
Pastel Pebble Beige interior, motherfuckers. I might be driving my ass around in a Pastel Pebble Beige interior, white as fuck boxy jeep. Imagine you see that car and a fucking vampire steps out of it. I'm gonna give people disassociative episodes from the shock.
I mean, depending on how it drives. Like I said, I have to go look at it.
But I am so tired of walking my ass up to the house. I could drive this to the gate. I could pack groceries in in like 10 minutes.
This is the most basic shit I have ever seen in my life. I don't even think you can lock the doors from the outside. We're gonna have to lean forward when we're goin up the hill. I'm already kind of in love with it? This is the shitty, below expectations, ugly ass beige and white boring as fuck car I deserve. I kinda want to get it and then go spend $200 airbrushing some kind of big-tittied space witch mushroom trip on the side.
Air conditioning
Driver door bin
Driver vanity mirror
Front beverage holders
Passenger door bin
Passenger vanity mirror
Rear beverage holders
Rear door bins
Tilt steering wheel
AM/FM radio
CD player
Four wheel independent suspension
Front anti-roll bar
Power steering
Rear anti-roll bar
Cylinder configuration: I-4
Drive type: four-wheel
Engine liters: 2.4
Engine location: front
Fuel economy city: 22mpg
Fuel economy highway: 27mpg
Fuel tank capacity: 13.5gal.
Horsepower: 172hp @ 6,000RPM
Number of valves: 16
Recommended fuel: regular unleaded
Sequential multi-point fuel injection
Torque: 165 lb.-ft. @ 4,400RPM
Variable intake manifold
Variable valve control
Fuck it, Ima be wholesome anyway.
I'm looking around for a used tiny off-roader, hopefully, a four-cylinder. I need four-wheel drive and I need it to sit high off the ground because I'm tired of hiking my ass up to my house. I need something I can drive up here. But I want something old and shitty, because that's how I roll, and I don't wanna spend more than five grand on it. Like a tiny little SUV.
I'm supposed to go out and look at an 08 Jeep Patriot tomorrow and it will be the second most dad thing I have ever done since my kid was born (after building the deck). Look at this fucking description:
Stone White 2008 Jeep Patriot Sport 4WD CVT 2.4L 4-Cylinder DOHC 16V Dual VVT 4WD, Pastel Pebble Beige Cloth.
Pastel Pebble Beige interior, motherfuckers. I might be driving my ass around in a Pastel Pebble Beige interior, white as fuck boxy jeep. Imagine you see that car and a fucking vampire steps out of it. I'm gonna give people disassociative episodes from the shock.
I mean, depending on how it drives. Like I said, I have to go look at it.
But I am so tired of walking my ass up to the house. I could drive this to the gate. I could pack groceries in in like 10 minutes.
This is the most basic shit I have ever seen in my life. I don't even think you can lock the doors from the outside. We're gonna have to lean forward when we're goin up the hill. I'm already kind of in love with it? This is the shitty, below expectations, ugly ass beige and white boring as fuck car I deserve. I kinda want to get it and then go spend $200 airbrushing some kind of big-tittied space witch mushroom trip on the side.
Air conditioning
Driver door bin
Driver vanity mirror
Front beverage holders
Passenger door bin
Passenger vanity mirror
Rear beverage holders
Rear door bins
Tilt steering wheel
AM/FM radio
CD player
Four wheel independent suspension
Front anti-roll bar
Power steering
Rear anti-roll bar
Cylinder configuration: I-4
Drive type: four-wheel
Engine liters: 2.4
Engine location: front
Fuel economy city: 22mpg
Fuel economy highway: 27mpg
Fuel tank capacity: 13.5gal.
Horsepower: 172hp @ 6,000RPM
Number of valves: 16
Recommended fuel: regular unleaded
Sequential multi-point fuel injection
Torque: 165 lb.-ft. @ 4,400RPM
Variable intake manifold
Variable valve control
Que
aʒɑ̃ prɔvɔkatœr
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For the money, get a $3000-$5000 Toyota 4runner. The v6 lasts f o r e v e r. Goes anywhere. Parts are everywhere. Resale is stable if 6ou dont gay it up too much. Anything under 200,000 miles. I'd go more miles than that with a compression test if the price was right.
Gas mileage is only 15-18 though.
Gas mileage is only 15-18 though.
Last edited:
CandiCame
Rocket Grunt
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Yeah, see that's why I don't want a V6.
Also, my uncle who is a mechanic, you know that uncle every redneck has who'll fix anything for $20, has told me since I was 16 not to get certain cars and Toyotas are one of them. He actually says the opposite, that it's hard to get parts, which is probably just a difference in our location. He said to get a Ford, if I could, and if I couldn't to get a Chevy. But I actually like a lot of the Toyotas I've looked at. I went and looked at this Cherokee and I loved it but there were too many factors against it: it was too big (I want something I can maneuver up the holler, turn around and stuff), the gas thing is a problem (my hippie ass cannot be seen in anything above a 4 cylinder- what will I say at the tree-hugger luncheon?) and my uncle said that the batteries were fucked up somehow? I don't know cars. Not that that particular battery was fucked up and I could just go get a new one, but that they fuck up batteries somehow? I have no idea what he was talking about but the dude only wanted like $3K for it.
I'm trying to save some money to give my little brother about a thousand for a downpayment on a new truck, too. He's driving a 99 Ford Pickup and the thing is literally held together with duct tape. It's fucked. It's gonna blow up and he's gonna die. And the power steering is shot so it's like... it handles like shit. He gets stuck turning around at least once a week and we just put new gravel down. But I'm not buying him a whole-ass new vehicle. He's nineteen. When I was nineteen I was paying all my own bills, he just spent $500 on that new AR 15 for no goddamn reason and I kind of realized that I... he needs to start paying for shit. He's gonna buy his own vehicle and pay his own insurance, and he might have to pay his own phone bill depending on how pissed I get.
Not that I don't love that AR, he said when he brought it in that it was for everybody it's just that we don't need it and he didn't save up for it, he just spent his whole paycheck on a gun and he does shit like that all the time. He'll get paid and then call me and ask if he can use my bank card because he doesn't have money for lunch at work. Like bitch, HOW? I get that he's got a shitty retail job and he's making minimum wage but he's not managing his money and it's one of my buttons.
Also, this is weird and tangentially related- did you know that you can't buy rounds in Ky at 19? This has got to be a new law because I've bought bullets my whole fucking life. I stood there and watched them refuse to sell this kid bullets. That's fucked up, right? What the hell is that about? So I got pissed and looked it up, and this happened last year. It's not the clerk's fault but Jesus Christ he's a grown-ass adult. That's neither here nor there, though.
Point is I'm in the market for two new vehicles.
Also, his truck is rear-wheel drive, which I don't understand as a concept. Why is that a thing? That's the shittiest thing about it. If we lived in a city or something it'd be alright but out here where the busses don't run that don't do nobody no good and I mean it wouldn't be a plus even on a good paved road. He needs a four-wheel drive. It's pointless to have a vehicle that's not a four-wheel drive. But you can't tell him nothing. He's looking at shit and I keep saying, "it needs to say off road or you're not gonna be able to get it up the holler" and he's like, "I can get the truck up the holler" and, as I already said, he gets stuck at least once a week trying to do that.
Also, I never resale vehicles. I drive them until they fall apart and can only be junked. I get something, I take care of it. I don't dislike the car I've got now, it was a great car when I lived in the city. It just isn't meant to be driven out here, that's not what it's for. I've spent the past six years telling myself it doesn't need replacing because it's fine. But with my neck and back all fucked up it is actually taking a toll on me to have to walk up the holler every day, sometimes multiple times, because you can't get it up here and it's a good little walk. It's like twenty or thirty minutes, so if you're packing groceries or something in it can take a big chunk of time. It's not broken, it's just inconvenient.
Que
aʒɑ̃ prɔvɔkatœr
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Yeah that probably is a location thing. Out here in Arizona nothing rusts and we've got Toyota's all over the place at every junkyard.
The gas mileage was really really disappointing but I always wanted to go with taller gears in the rear end and see what happened with that but that never materialized. Maybe I'll do that with the next one.
My mom has a late model 4-wheel drive RAV4 that she likes it seems well put together and durable and some of those are getting older. You might also consider a Honda CRV..
But again maybe parts are a problem in your area if they don't like them furren cars
The gas mileage was really really disappointing but I always wanted to go with taller gears in the rear end and see what happened with that but that never materialized. Maybe I'll do that with the next one.
My mom has a late model 4-wheel drive RAV4 that she likes it seems well put together and durable and some of those are getting older. You might also consider a Honda CRV..
But again maybe parts are a problem in your area if they don't like them furren cars
cowslinger64
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Gawd.. This has to be the pinnacle of pathetic.
I can't even bring myself to poke fun at you.
I hope you're getting paid to be on here..
I can't even bring myself to poke fun at you.
I hope you're getting paid to be on here..
HisArpy
Loose canon extraordinair
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Gawd.. This has to be the pinnacle of pathetic.
I can't even bring myself to poke fun at you.
I hope you're getting paid to be on here..
Wait, you aren't?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
chillywilly2
AKA Bean
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I just got a 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee with 160,000 miles on it for a thousand bucks.
This thing is loaded and in almost perfect condition . heated and cooled seats, moonroof. Has been fully maintained. My neighbor just couldn't be bothered going through selling it.
I'm taking it to my hunt property, putting chains on the tires and boondocking the fucker.
It has a 5.7 hemi in it but you can buy a lot of gas for a practically free ride.
notfeasance
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I sold luk his dusty rose 2018 Kia Sorento and can confirm he Financed it at a subprime rate thanks to his mom's cosigning the note.
cowslinger64
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Wait, you aren't?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Well.. A new pinnacle has been reached. Hisderpy doing his best retard, sticking up for a fellow retard.
How speshul.
HisArpy
Loose canon extraordinair
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So, does this mean you ARE getting paid to post here?
cowslinger64
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I have a REAL job... I'm not pretending to be some sort of lawyer, who obviously has no cases since he's here posting stupid shit all the time..
I'll tell you if I'm getting paid to post here right after you post how many times it took you to pass the bar.
HisArpy
Loose canon extraordinair
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1. Not every lawyer is a trial lawyer. Real estate lawyers, for example...
2. I've made no secret of the fact that I'm semi-retired so even if I used to be a trial lawyer, I wouldn't be one now.
3. Guess. Whatever number, other than the actual number of times it took me to pass the Bar exam, that you choose, you'll be wrong but you won't care about that anyway because being a liar who thinks he's a big whiz is all you have. Or, IOW, you're all mouth and a jumbotron sized ego. Nothing else.
4. STILL waiting on those plane tickets. It ain't like you don't know my address. Or are you going to be the same old chicken shit internet tough guy like you have been ever since you made those "non threatening" threats?
Luk
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Rapey, you said you were sending local sheriffs to apprehend him in Detroit. As a "lawyer", did you finally read the part of your lawyer book that told you that you're a fucking idiot?
Saint Peter
shoots left
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Get a moped, fucker.
Luk
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You are guilty of both things that I accused you of, yes.
Luk
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Go_Fuck_Yourself
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Shelly2inme
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Pogo stick
I am thinking that the idea of a car is a mistake. I am thinking a pogo stick makes a better statement in this case.
I am thinking that the idea of a car is a mistake. I am thinking a pogo stick makes a better statement in this case.
Go_Fuck_Yourself
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