Hi, I'm extremely new to the whole fetish scene, but VERY interested. This is not a personal ad, but I want some advice on how to go about finding a suitable dom/mistress, or other kind of partner to expand my horizons. I'm only 19, so I don't have a wide access to experienced women, so it's a catch 22 in a way. If any women or men could give me some advice on how to find a dom/partner. I am too shy to go to a club on my own volition.
advice for a new male sub
- Thread starter Pdkuhn
- Start date
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2000
- Posts
- 1,657
just a few "quick fixes"
Try the following threads:
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=106235
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=70792
plus there is a personals section here on Lit with a thread dedicated to BDSM personals (and I am sure Miss T or someone will be able to give you the link to that), and there are the "classics" like bondage.com and alt.com and such for personal ads.
As for visiting a club on your own, I can understand the reluctance, but how about a "munch" (= a formless and non-kinky get-together of likeminded people just to get to know each other and socialize)? If you do a search on this board (below the actual message board) for munch or check out the library sticky you will find a lot about it, plus if you do a google including some info about your area, the words BDSM and munch you should get a list of options. Many munch groups (at least in Germany) can be contacted in advance and I know a few do actually offer to meet new people beforehand on a one-on-one basis so to speak and then introduce them to the group on the first day so they don't show up alone.
As has been mentioned all over the place before though - make yourself honestly aware of what it is you are after before you enter into the search... the better you are aware of your needs and desires, the less the likelyhood of having disappointing encounters.
I have to hurry, else I'd be probably off on a long rant about that *winks*
Good luck in your search
Try the following threads:
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=106235
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=70792
plus there is a personals section here on Lit with a thread dedicated to BDSM personals (and I am sure Miss T or someone will be able to give you the link to that), and there are the "classics" like bondage.com and alt.com and such for personal ads.
As for visiting a club on your own, I can understand the reluctance, but how about a "munch" (= a formless and non-kinky get-together of likeminded people just to get to know each other and socialize)? If you do a search on this board (below the actual message board) for munch or check out the library sticky you will find a lot about it, plus if you do a google including some info about your area, the words BDSM and munch you should get a list of options. Many munch groups (at least in Germany) can be contacted in advance and I know a few do actually offer to meet new people beforehand on a one-on-one basis so to speak and then introduce them to the group on the first day so they don't show up alone.
As has been mentioned all over the place before though - make yourself honestly aware of what it is you are after before you enter into the search... the better you are aware of your needs and desires, the less the likelyhood of having disappointing encounters.
I have to hurry, else I'd be probably off on a long rant about that *winks*
Good luck in your search
Shadowsdream
Dream Maker
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2002
- Posts
- 3,173
Lining up with the Dommes and adding..*What they said*
P. B. Walker
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2001
- Posts
- 25,127
Trust your instincts and go with your heart. Don't be afraid to stand up for saying what you really want. And never never do something that goes past your hard limits.
I'd also give www.bondage.com or www.alt.com a shot if you don't mind meeting someone thru the internet.
Have fun always.
PBW
I'd also give www.bondage.com or www.alt.com a shot if you don't mind meeting someone thru the internet.
Have fun always.
PBW
