I'm sort of new/sort of not to BDSM. I've recently met and hooked up with a new girl. I knew ahead of time that she was at least curious about bondage and spanking. (I paid attention to things she said.) We've been playing and everything is going fine. She loves being spanked and also loves being tied up and helpless while I play. This is really about as far as I've ever got with any other playmates/SOs. Is there anything that people would consider a natural progression from this? She seems pretty game to try anything, but I'm kind of lost as to where to go. Any help?
A questions of direction
- Thread starter MastrJ
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Rantalith
Really Really Experienced
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Sit down with her and have a long conversation. Communication is one of the keys to this lifestyle.
Ask her what she thinks she might like and what she might not like. The more details that you both go into, the better you will be.
Try getting some sexy cloths for her to wear. Get a few books on BDSM (there are several listed here just search for them) and read them together.
At the very least after you two talk, you should have a better idea of what you both want.
Ask her what she thinks she might like and what she might not like. The more details that you both go into, the better you will be.
Try getting some sexy cloths for her to wear. Get a few books on BDSM (there are several listed here just search for them) and read them together.
At the very least after you two talk, you should have a better idea of what you both want.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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MastrJ said:We're pretty much already doing that. I was just hoping for extra ideas.
Thanks.
Maybe you should take a look at the castle realm.
http://www.castlerealm.com/kingdom/kingdom.htm
Francisco.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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A good way to explore possibilities etc., is to both complete a checklist, such as this one so both have areas and ideas to explore mentally before the physical. Often completing , discussing, and exploring leads to a myriad of scene ideas. Have f8un. http://www.bdsm-education.com/checklist.html
Catalina
Catalina
catalina_francisco
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Oooops....LOL..problems of having 2 computers going at once but not side by side. Oh well, as usual, our thoughts are obviously in sync.
Catalina
Catalina
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
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Woohoo! Firstly, be thankful you've met someone you can explore this side with.
To me, it sounds like you need to do some thinking about where you want to take her, what you want to do with her. Communication is still key, because you want her to remain on track. But here are some suggestions:
1. Participate in some BDSM-type discussions. Literotica is as good a place as any. By talking about what people do, you may end up coming away thinking "hmmm, now I would love to try that!" Also, don't be afraid to ask questions -- you are already off to a good start.
2. Unchain your imagination. Your sexual fantasies, in particular, can be your guide. Maybe have a fun discussion over what your fantasies are with your partner, and what hers are. You can then work on integrating those into your life. I find reading fantasies, or writing my own, helps a great deal here.
3. Don't be afraid to experiment. So long as you have some clear rules over "you can say stop at any time", and you think about what is safe, you can just try different things and see what works.
4. Most of all, have fun! Keep your play fulfilling and enjoyable, and it will help your relationship grow. If it stops becoming fun (for either of you), then stop and sort out why.
Best of luck!
To me, it sounds like you need to do some thinking about where you want to take her, what you want to do with her. Communication is still key, because you want her to remain on track. But here are some suggestions:
1. Participate in some BDSM-type discussions. Literotica is as good a place as any. By talking about what people do, you may end up coming away thinking "hmmm, now I would love to try that!" Also, don't be afraid to ask questions -- you are already off to a good start.
2. Unchain your imagination. Your sexual fantasies, in particular, can be your guide. Maybe have a fun discussion over what your fantasies are with your partner, and what hers are. You can then work on integrating those into your life. I find reading fantasies, or writing my own, helps a great deal here.
3. Don't be afraid to experiment. So long as you have some clear rules over "you can say stop at any time", and you think about what is safe, you can just try different things and see what works.
4. Most of all, have fun! Keep your play fulfilling and enjoyable, and it will help your relationship grow. If it stops becoming fun (for either of you), then stop and sort out why.
Best of luck!
Kajira Callista
Empty
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catalina_francisco said:
castle realm is a good start for someone new to this. these are two of my fav. sites, maybe looking at them together? www.thebrc.net and www.albanypowerexchange.com
Ezarc
Grumpy Doms Union 361
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The most important act of all has been discussed which is communicate. If you read something of intrest, point it out to your partner and encourage her to do the same. That includes just online shopping at www.thestockroom.com or any other site. Just seeing her reaction to some of the toys might give you ideas as well.
You also might want to participate at the local Munch. Just being around others in the lifestyle can give you a different prespective on how some things can be done. Most will also have some that can tell you some intresting uses for common household items.
Take Care and Enjoy the Ride,
Ezarc
You also might want to participate at the local Munch. Just being around others in the lifestyle can give you a different prespective on how some things can be done. Most will also have some that can tell you some intresting uses for common household items.
Take Care and Enjoy the Ride,
Ezarc
