A question...

[kiwiwolf]

Okay it was recently put to me that my "obsession" with tattooing and my new adventure into piercing are signs of a masochistic personality. It doesn't worry me but I am curious to get some input and opinions...

Both have involved a bit of pain ranging from mild to bloody agony. I don't think the pain gives me a sexual charge but at the same time I find myself desperate for my next body modification appointment. Does this make me a masochist

Anybody care to pitch thier hat into the ring?

 

[ShyGuy68]

In my opinion you aren't masochistic at all just because you like to get pierced or tattooed.

I have two tattoos myself, and I'm not at all masochistic, I can tolerate the pain, but it doesn't really have any effect on me either.

I am however also a bit hooked on getting them, and have my third one planned. And I'm pretty sure I'll get a 4th as well.

 

[willfulbrat]

That may well be, Kikiwolf. I had my nipples pierced about a year ago and that started my journey into BDSM. It was a such a rush!

Only you know what you got out of it, whether it's the pain or simply the look that keeps you going back.

 

[Lain]

tattoos

My boyfriend has a tattoo and he said that from what he's heard, most people want to get a lot of them after getting their first one. I think it has more to do with adrenaline/endorphin highs than from an actual enjoyment of the pain.

Also, in my opinion when we discuss masochists in the context of BDSM we're not talking about people who like pain *in any form*. As in, the masochists we're referring to would not like it if someone came up to them on the street and poked them in the eye. It's pain in some bdsm context, whether it's as submission or after sexual arousal so it becomes more "sensation" than pain.

Lain

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

*tossing my hat into the ring*


My husband has a few tat's and wants more, not for the pain of them, but because he likes the designs. Nuttin wrong with that.

 

[iamaddog]

behavior

__________________
Can someone please explain this behaving thing to me ?

only to the point that not everyone has the same level of what it is called as behaving...badly or otherwise..

the world has as many ideas on this as there people.

but then...it makes it interesting...huh?

mad dog in iowa

everyone drive careful out there, okay????/

 

[kiwiwolf]

Okay folks, thanksds for the input but I think I should have clarified things a bit better. My tattoos number 12, all but one of them being the size of a side plate or larger. The other one is the Taz tattoo currently starring in my AV. He is the size of a cigarette packet. My aim is to be fully sleeved by the end of July and have a full back and stomach vest done by March next year.

The look is important to me. I wouldn't be having them done so visibly if I didn't like the look, but this is solely based on how they feel when being pounded into my skin. I crave the feeling.

My nipple piercing last week hurt like a mother in law, but I have already booked to get the other one done. I like the look with just one gold ring, but want to get another.. is it despite the pain or because of it?

 

[iamaddog]

My nipple piercing last week hurt like a mother in law, but I have already booked to get the other one done. I like the look with just one gold ring, but want to get another.. is it despite the pain or because of it?

-----------------------------
talk to me. I'm supposed to get my nipples done when i hit california. just how bad is this????
very interested to know how much pain I have to put up with.
one set will be behind the nipples inh the meat..
the other set will be in the teats ....
how bad is it going to be????
-- and if anyone will tell me..I understand She wishes for me to get my male member done also..anyone got a clue how bad that's going to be? one through the head and one behind the crown.
someone pretty please talk to me????


thank you thank you...


mad dog in iowa..
be careful out there...

 

[cymbidia]

Hello Kiwi, my good friend. (The move is done, i'm surrounded by boxes but only daunted by them - not overwgelmed like i was last night when the movers dumped them here and then took off.)

For the new faces round here: i've done a lot of BDSM-style needle/piercing play. I've got tats and i've got piercings. I'm a full-on masochist. I'm a lifetime BDSM'er.

I think i can comment on this, Kiwi.

Loosely defined, and to my mind, sexual masochism is the gaining of sexual enjoyment from what "normal" folks would consider to be something more or less painful. Plain ole masochism is getting some kinda pleasure, not necessarily sexual, from the same kinda "painful" things.

Those "things" would include, i think, both tats and piercings, even though to many of us, they are *not* painful more than whatever pleasure we derive from them.

If your brain and body find pleasure in what "Normal" people (what is a normal person? do they really exist? who defines them?) would back away from in fear and/or horror, then you're porbably a little bit (at least) masochistic, at least in my book.

But... who cares?
"Masochist" is just a word, just a label, just another designator for your reality, a designator like "kind hearted" or "fun to go shopping with" or "mean to little kids" or "outgoing". The word means something different to everyone, like all such ambigious and emotionally-laden words.

Who gives a flying fuck about what the names someone else wants to stick on us? If we think they fit, we take them. If they don't fit, we laugh and reject them.

Kiwi? You're a good man with a heart bigger than your whole country. If you don't like the word, toss it aside and continue on collecting your tats and, now, your piercings. Do it for whatever reason you want, whatever pleasure you derive from the doing - and the hell with anyone's labels.

I sometimes let it out that i'm a sexual masochist just to kinda sorta see people stutter and stammer about it, you know? Maybe you get tats for something like the same reason sometimes. It's good to please yourself in such a personal manner.

Big hugs to you, S. You're always in my heart.
Now, about that wine...
b.

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

Re: behavior

__________________
Can someone please explain this behaving thing to me ?

only to the point that not everyone has the same level of what it is called as behaving...badly or otherwise..

the world has as many ideas on this as there people.

but then...it makes it interesting...huh?

mad dog in iowa

everyone drive careful out there, okay????/

Ummmmmmmm.....Thanks I guess.

 

[sweetdesire4you]

Re: a Question

I don't think it makes you anything. Who is to say what is right for some is wrong for others. It would be a pretty boring world if W/we all liked the same things, or all did the same things.

If you got a rush from it, whether sexually or otherwise, good for you! It works for you.

As the old saying goes, W/we all have our fetishes, in one form or another, just depends on what Y/you like, and who Y/you are.( or something like that..LOL..)

When one person does something, does it actually mean they are wrong because they don't follow the forum?

i say "W/we are who W/we are, what i may like may not neccessarly mean anyone else does....Don't W/we all live in glass houses?... To judge someone simply because the like or dislike of a fetish is ludicuous! After all. look what happens when BDSM comes out of the closet...lol..lol


Sooo, maybe your are, but maybe your not, only you know what and who you are as a person. And if Y/you like it....then i say go for it....
On a personal note....im more concerned about what kind of person W/we are on the inside, rather than the outward appearance..(but i do happen to like tat's...and piercings)


W/who knows...maybe i might just go get something done now....lol

Be who Y/you are ...and don't worry about what mold Y/you fit in...Molds were meant to be broken!!

Be well, and take care,
sweetdesires

 

[cymbidia]

Welcome to the BDSM Forum here at Literotica, sweetdesire4you. Your words to Kiwi, a man who is *not* any kinda shrinking violet, btw ( ) were very kind. I'm looking forward to more of your posts.

We do not stand on ceremony here, as you might notice, with regard to the highly convoluted forms of W/we and Y/You and U/us and that stuff.

That kind of self-conscious stuff is not at all what we're about here since our emphasis is far more geared toward everyday life encounters (the kind where skin meets skin) then anything online oriented, the traditional home of such English usage. (How could one actually speak like that anyway, right? I've certainly never heard anyone speaking thusly to or about their Dominants, anyway, in all my years of doing this!)

Feel free to drop such practices by the door on the your way in, kick off your shoes and get comfy. This is a good, safe, supposrtive place for people like us to hang.

 

[sweetdesire4you]

Thank you

Thank you very much cymbidia!

I look forward to this even more now. Even though I've been a member here at literotica for sometime now, I havent' been posting or even written anything as of yet. (shame on my part I know.... )

You just never know what to expect when going into or plunging into a new situation.

I'm glad to see this geared towards the everyday life in encounters rather than online nonsense. Makes things a whole lot easier..lol. ( Thus we have it...LOL..)

Well, thank you once again! You'll be seeing me kick my shoes off alittle more...and uhh... the only time for the "thus, thou's and so forth, will be... well........never!....lol.

We all have feelings, don't we? I just think people get alittle hung up on worrying alittle of what or how people percieve them.

I think if you like it and it feels right...then do it...after all who's the one sporting these tat's and piercings anyway?....and why do we do it?.....Because we like it...right? Right!...(lol..lol) Does it really matter if you are masocastic or not? I don't think so.

Well, Thank you very much to this BDSM forum. My views may be alittle unorthodox from time to time...but I never claimed to sane anyway. (giggle)

Thanks again, I look forward to this also!

Sincerely
sweetdesires

 

[kiwiwolf]

First off I would like to thank everyone who has responded to my question. I am very lucky to have a resourse like this BDSM board to be able to ask questions like this. I wonder if folks here at Lit in general know how valuable this forum is. I salute all of you.

Cym... once again you have pulled my chestnuts out of the fire. I was not really worried about the masochist label but it did give me cause for wonder. As you know I am not a big fan of labels, but for the purposes of this exercise I'll label myself as nilla with emerging dom tendencies... which I am not fighting.

I don't consider myself masochist but wouldn't mind if I got labelled that way. The question actually has more to do with the dom tendencies I seem to be developing. I know nothing of the scene, so I am busy scuttling around reading everything I can to do with BDSM and trying a bit of self analysis.

Discovering previously hidden facets of your personality can be quite freaky but it is also damned exciting. Thanks to all of you that helped with your replies. thanks to you Cym for clearing my mind again and thanks to sweetdesire4you for your comments.

Cym wine is forthcoming... congratulations on moving in. You should have something to wet the roof in a week or so...

 

[kiwiwolf]

One more thing.... can someone please explain to me the style of writing sweetdesire4you used in her first post...

Thanks in advance...

 

[cymbidia]

That style of writing is exclusively used in the (~taking a deep breath and trying to retain my famously [read that word with sarcastic overtones, please, since we all know i'm *not* famous for this] non-inflammatory attitude about all BDSM'ers in the world~) online BDSM communities.

It evolved, i think, from a need to impose obvious differences in online chatroom situations between Dominants and submissives.

It's never used (and how could it be?) in everyday life situations.

Online chat-room style BDSM is overflowing with rituals and heavy-handed customs and grotesque (okay, my prejudieces are showing. sue me.) mockeries of normal BDSM relationships.

This kinda convoluted crap of "W/we are going to the store to get dog food" is supposed to show all and sundry that one person is the Dominant and the other is the submissive. Why they can't just talk like normal people is beyond me and most of the reason i never did well in online crap BDSM places... i mean, online chat BDSM places.

Still.
They *can* be valuable places for people to try out fantasies and begin to feel whether BDSM is really for them or not as long as those doing the trying don't get lost in the mucky murky world of online BDSM and forget that to actually do it, one must find a partner, go into a room, lock the door, and play.

One can talk about getting flogged all the livelong day but until one feels it, from either end, all it is is jerk material.

Too many people get lost in the "play pretend" online environments, and too many players entrap them there, and i distrust and dislike the whole entire online BDSM chat room kinda stuff for that reason.

I did a long, long, incredibly boring post on how to conduct yourself in BDSM chatroom in the Mother thread sometime last fall, i think. There's a real art and science to it; one misstep and you're toast. You have to go find another chatroom if you blow it. (Be of good cheer: it's not hard at all to find online BDSM chat rooms.)

Bah humbug, anyway.
I have too many boxes to unpack to be jolly about anything.

 

[kiwiwolf]

Beautifully put Cym.... thank you. It is always a pleasure to interact with someone who lives thier philosophy... maybe two bottles of wine should find their way to you...

 

[petrel]

Hi everyone
Kiwi, I hate labels too but if I were in your shoes looking out at the world I would say that there were two reasons I got tatts;
1 You like the way they look, it is one of the most extreme (ie permenant) forms of body modification and therefore 'can' be used to make a strong statement about yourself. I say 'can' because like many other things it is a signifier of certain stereotypes and therefore for some people it is more about belonging to a group than it is about making a personal statement

For men especially who have so few opportunities to modify/enhance their appearances it is a popular option.


2 You also get a kick form the pain sensation, possibly form the feeling of controlling your reaction to that pain. Or maybe the pain gives you the adrenelin rush of a dangerous situation and that makes you feel rebellious, free spirited and independant. (all heady thoughts)

But then I'm not you and I can't say for certian what you feel and think. The first definately applies to me, the latter well I'm not sure. I have one tattoo, done some tiime ago on a hot and sunny day when I wasn't working and living in that haze of wandering aorund, hanging out in town.
I had walked past the tattoo shop on my way home every time i went into town over those six months. This time however my feet turned me around and walked in. It was pure impulse, and I can't remember actually thinking about what I was doing, just looking at the pictures, and thinking about where I could get my tattoo. I had no money with me but despite lack of a job I made a mad dash to a cash point for the requisite £25.
It was liek someone else sitting int he back of my skull had taken over - I choose the tattoo, insisted on having the colours changed and came out an hour later with a new tattoo.
I had never even really thoguht of having a tattoo done before that moment and before anyone asks no I don't regret it. I did get a buzz from the whole thing but not from the sensation of tattooing, more from the freedom of doing it.
I remeber walking back up the road with my jacket slung round my waist feeling as if I was flying.

I knew nothing about BDSM at the time (or nothing a wellread middleclass kid didn't know) so it didn't even occur to me that the sensations might be a kick in themselves - maybe if I go back I'll find out!

I would love more but but I am concerned about fading/blurring the one I have certianly isn't as sharp and clear as it used to be.

Hope that helps or is of interest


oh btw cym - congratulations on your new place - what is it like? It took me two years to unpack the boxes from when i moved into this house!!

 

[cymbidia]

It took me two years to unpack the boxes from when i moved into this house!!

You're a bad person, petrel, and i hate you.








Actually, i've just bought and moved into what is really lovely and brand new house. I have ten zillion boxes (ahem - that's perhaps a slight exaggeration) and 3/4 of them are boxes of books.

I'll be unpacking for two years, too.

I'm NEVER EVER moving again. Four major and one minor move in the last 4.5 years is too many. This is it. I'm putting down permanent roots this time.




Tats?
I have one on the inside of my hip, close to my labia, that was aplied many many years ago - about, ummm, 24 years ago. It's of a California poppy, a very brightly colored flower, and isn't really faded much, either. Maybe it's the location? It's seen its share of sunshine over the years but not as much as a back or an arm, that's for sure.

I have another CA poppy too, but it was just put on a couple years ago and so is still fresh and new.

I need a third, and not another CA poppy, either. Something in the Chinese character world, i think. Maybe the Chinese character for "sex slave" would be good...

 

[Quint]

Too many people get lost in the "play pretend" online environments, and too many players entrap them there, and i distrust and dislike the whole entire online BDSM chat room kinda stuff for that reason.

It's so true. I do take pride in my pistachio lifestyle, but it isn't a blatant, "I'm so cool cuz I'm different" pride. Lemme be me without having to proclaim it. Not that I'm ever hesitant about self-laud or anything...

 

[petrel]

You're a bad person, petrel, and i hate you.


Actually, i've just bought and moved into what is really lovely and brand new house. I have ten zillion boxes (ahem - that's perhaps a slight exaggeration) and 3/4 of them are boxes of books.

oh now if you are talking about books, well I still haven't sorted those out!! I just seem to keep buying more, and more and more (addicted to secind hand bookshops)

I am sure you'll have it all under control and looking beautiful very soon