A question of mixed time lines

[Thomas Drablézien]

Hi,

I am working on a story at the moment that involves the telling of a story within a story. Something new for me.

The build up and scene setting is not a problem but when I come to the "inner story" I am using a mixture of reported narrative, dialogue interjections and asides to tell the tale. At at least one point however a character from within the inner story also speaks directly.

My question, would it be better to use reported speech rather than direct speech in this instance?

The devices I am using seem to be working fairly well so far, in my opinion, but I don't want to confuse the reader by muddying the time lines to far.

The story is still a work in progress so I am not seeking an editor at this stage, but if anyone can give me some general guidance so that I can avoid nasty pitfalls it would be appreciated.

Thanks a lot.

TD

 

[Guest]

Hi,

I am working on a story at the moment that involves the telling of a story within a story. Something new for me.

The build up and scene setting is not a problem but when I come to the "inner story" I am using a mixture of reported narrative, dialogue interjections and asides to tell the tale. At at least one point however a character from within the inner story also speaks directly.

My question, would it be better to use reported speech rather than direct speech in this instance?

The devices I am using seem to be working fairly well so far, in my opinion, but I don't want to confuse the reader by muddying the time lines to far.

The story is still a work in progress so I am not seeking an editor at this stage, but if anyone can give me some general guidance so that I can avoid nasty pitfalls it would be appreciated.

Thanks a lot.

TD

Without a sample of how you're structuring the piece it's very hard to provide any guidance. However, this story does, in my opinion, a superb job of conveying a story within a story. Perhaps you'll find some answers, or at least direction, within it.

 

[Darkniciad]

I'm not getting a completely clear picture of what you're describing, but if the scene doesn't move into the realm of a flashback, then you'll probably want to go with reported speech.

Once you use direct speech, you're creating a ripple dissolve, and you need to concentrate on more than just the tight focus that you would use when someone is telling a story conversationally, and then ripple dissolve back out.

It's all a matter of whether the characters in the past are more important, or the ones in the present. Is it more about how A&B felt then, or how A&C react to the telling?

It's really hard to say without seeing the actual story, but there are some thoughts on the generalities.

 

[_Lynn_]

It's difficult for me to picture what the OP is really describing without seeing a blurb of the story as well.

 

[Thomas Drablézien]

Thanks for your comments. I have a couple of points in response.

1. Sorry I didn't provide examples but I am a little shy about showing my work while it is still very much in rough.

2. I have thought about the problem and decided that this 3rd voice is the result of lazy writing on my part.
As I am already using the direct voice of the storyteller ( as opposed to the narrator) to highlight certain points over the background of reported narration. I think my best plan is to use the same device again, and have the storyteller's voice report what she has been told by the 3rd party.
This should remove the inconsistency of the sudden 3rd voice, and negate the possible question from the reader.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

This is what was worrying me.

Thanks again, I just needed a nudge to get my own thinking sorted out.

TD

 

[_Lynn_]

Thanks for your comments. I have a couple of points in response.

1. Sorry I didn't provide examples but I am a little shy about showing my work while it is still very much in rough.

2. I have thought about the problem and decided that this 3rd voice is the result of lazy writing on my part.
As I am already using the direct voice of the storyteller ( as opposed to the narrator) to highlight certain points over the background of reported narration. I think my best plan is to use the same device again, and have the storyteller's voice report what she has been told by the 3rd party.
This should remove the inconsistency of the sudden 3rd voice, and negate the possible question from the reader.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

This is what was worrying me.

Thanks again, I just needed a nudge to get my own thinking sorted out.

TD

Glad we could help.