A question for the Doms.

[Retrieval]

I don't think she considers herself a switch, no. Of course, that's all symantics anyways. Hmmm, then again, I see what you are saying.

I guess really we are talking about a rape fantasy. I mean if a Domme refuses to be dominated because she is a sexual dominant herself, then really the only way to actually dominate her is through non-consensual means. Wouldn't that in itself be chalked up as a rape fantasy?

Just need some clarification here.

If this was some kind of plan I had then yes I guess it would have to be rape, but I'm talking about a fantasy and a fantasy can go any way you want it to. In my fantasy she's so taken with me I don’t have to rape her just a little coxing, intimidating, forcefulness, (psychological not physical) then she would start to enjoy it. I don't think that would be considered rape just typical male fantasy bullshit.

 

[the captians wench]

I don't know about as far as dommies, but I do know a few of my domly type friends would rather have a sub who is a challenge to him rather than one who just is happy to do as she's told an never talk back and so on. This is partly why we click in play but wouldn't work in a long term thing. For me, I just don't get a thrill out of fighting back so to speak. I'm more likely to smile up and position myself better for you rather than turn around and strike you back. For me, my thrill is in serving, but that only works for one who enjoys being served more than "breaking" some one for lack of a better word. And I think that's what this really is, sort of breaking some one, proving that you are more dominate than they are and ultimitly having them acknowledge that. I do see how that could apeal to some one, and in little ways I accomidate my Dom in that way. But it's very very subtle compaired to the Dom vs Domme senerio.

 

[Retrieval]

I don't know about as far as dommies, but I do know a few of my domly type friends would rather have a sub who is a challenge to him rather than one who just is happy to do as she's told an never talk back and so on. This is partly why we click in play but wouldn't work in a long term thing. For me, I just don't get a thrill out of fighting back so to speak. I'm more likely to smile up and position myself better for you rather than turn around and strike you back. For me, my thrill is in serving, but that only works for one who enjoys being served more than "breaking" some one for lack of a better word. And I think that's what this really is, sort of breaking some one, proving that you are more dominate than they are and ultimitly having them acknowledge that. I do see how that could apeal to some one, and in little ways I accomidate my Dom in that way. But it's very very subtle compaired to the Dom vs Domme senerio.

Bingo!

 

[RJMasters]

My question is: As a Dom do you ever fantasize about dominating a Domme?

Retrieval,

I think your question is an interesting one as it carries with it some interesting undercurrents. Depending on how one answers, it is easy for people to make knee jerk judgements which may or may not be true.

There are many different "motives" as to why one wants to dominate others.

The way the question is worded it is easy to assume there is some attached "ideal" of a Dom having a fantasy like this because he views himself as superior or more dominant. If that is the motive behind the fantasy I can say no, I have never fantasized about domming a Domme in that way.

However I can answer yes that I have at times fantasized about some Dommes who would be so smittten with me as to admit that they wouldn't mind consenting to letting me rock their world. And if you want to pust the D/s thing aside, there are some who I have fantasied having hot monkey sex with.

However to be honest the thing that always ruins such fantasies is common sense. Dommes are Dommes because they are dominant. My motivation for being dominant is not based on being more dominant than another person. Sure there might be some pleasure in ego jockeying, but in truth if I want that kind of competitive victory I will play sports.

Common sense tells me that the reality of such a notion is not only unrelaistic, it is also not something I really am striving for or want. I am perfectly satisfied with desriing and wanting submissive natured women.

Some dominants get off on taking power from another who is willing to put up a fight and accept if they are overcome to then submit. I prefer a woman to give me power through surrendure out of the desire in her heart based upon the way she trusts me and the way she respects me for the man I am.

 

[JMohegan]

So you don't know of any Dommes that have been dominated themselves? I know of a couple that has the man as the sub and the woman in charge. She herself sometimes has a man dominating her as well and I don't think that's all that strange.

I know plenty of Dommes who have bottomed when learning the ropes, and others who changed orientation from submissive to Domme at some point in their lives.

I also do know people like the couple you describe. Per my use of various terms, the woman in the middle would either be a switch or a submissive who tops per the instructions of her Dom. But whatever she calls herself is irrelevant, because she is not the type of woman the OP is asking about here.

Check out the wording in the opening post:

I'm talking about a woman that not only thinks she's above being dominated by a man but actually believes that men are supposed to be subservient to her and dominates them.

As I understand his question, he's asking about a woman who identifies as a Domme in the same way that I identify as a Dom.

(Though I'll point out that his choice of wording is not what I would use, i.e., I would not say that I am "above being dominated", or that "women are supposed to be subservient to me".)

Of course, as I also said, perhaps it is a matter of wanting a switch more so than a full on 100% Domme....huge difference in the situation if all are in agreement.

Exactly.

 

[cati]

Oops just noticed that this question was asked of the Dominants. Pardon my post.

 

[gargouille]

Hmmmn interesting I have a Domme friend in a very serious, long term and loving relationship with another Dominant. They are both fully committed to each other. Both have very established , strong 'Dominant persona'. Its often made me wonder but never to the extent that I have crossed the zones of polite respect to ask either how that 'works'. I should really. If she doesn't care to share she simply won't. I also doubt she would be angry with me however it does seem kind of rude from my perspective to ask something so personal just because I am curious.

Perhaps I will mention reading this thread..........

When I was in a relationship with another Domme, it resembled a "normal" relationship more often than not. The only times our relationship wandered into the twilight zone was when one of us was practicing something new and we needed a crash test dummy. For example, I was the first actually, living breathing body she single tailed. But there was little power struggle, unless one of us was unfortunate enough to drink the last diet coke!

From the original question:

I'm a translesbian who's not attracted to men. So I'm answering from a Domme/Domme point of view.

While I may be physically attracted to another Domme, they generally don't get my Domme juices going. I may approach one for some hot sex if she seems willing, but forcing someone into submission isn't my thang. I tend to stay away from switches unless they're okay with me not switching for them.

I'm assuming that it's inexperience talking when you say there's no real challenge in Dominating a submissive who's ready and willing. Ready and willing doesn't mean physically or emotionally able at this point. Or at any given point. Submissives don't have it easy. Most of them have spent so much time squashing their sub tendencies to protect themselves from users that it takes a lot of coaxing to get it loose.

 

[WriterDom]

There have been a few I'd like to spank with a hairbrush for 5 minutes. But no, I'm not interesting in converting anyone. However I'm thinking in a poly relationship of MFF a little Domme in one of the females is a good thing to develop.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Oops just noticed that this question was asked of the Dominants. Pardon my post.

Miss Cati quoted the OP

'Although this question is aimed mainly at Dom’s I would like input from anybody out there male, female, sub or even if your not into the whole BDSM thing.'

 

[Evil_Geoff]

My question is: As a Dom do you ever fantasize about dominating a Domme?

*LOL*

By definition, if they submit they aren't a Dominant, male or female.

If someone who is otherwise a Dominant in their relationships submits to another, they would be a switch. There is, after all, a difference between submitting and bottoming. That's why the terms exist. I've bottomed in my journey several times, and I always take it as a tremendous compliment when a Dominant is willing to bottom to me. But submit in a relationship? *grins* Not this ol' sadist! *chuckles*

I fantasize about playing with Domme's now and then, but "dominating" them? Nah.

*grins*

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

When I was in a relationship with another Domme, it resembled a "normal" relationship more often than not. The only times our relationship wandered into the twilight zone was when one of us was practicing something new and we needed a crash test dummy. For example, I was the first actually, living breathing body she single tailed. But there was little power struggle, unless one of us was unfortunate enough to drink the last diet coke!

Thank you for taking the time to express this Gargouille . Further enhances my perceptions and the 'realness' of your quote makes the possible dynamics more tangible.

I am still going to ask my friend when the timing seems appropriate. There was a time a few years ago that a male submissive friend and I nearly crossed what for us both would have been a very significant line. We get on famously always have. We know each other so well and our individual specific skills. ( He is such a catch believe me........lol). It would have required the ability to switch to survive an relationship. He is such an amazing submissive man he may have given a reasonable veneer of dominance for my benefit but it still would be acting a part. Would have taken us both into a realm of living in significant illusion/delusion and that would have worn out very fast. Then the flip side of the guilt I know I would face not being able to offer him what he really needs on top of him sacrificing his core identity to a degree (by being dishonest as he is not a switch and this was attempting to go further that topping alone ) to do whats best for me. Its a good thing we stopped and talked long and hard. He remains a wonderful friend and the chemistry for laughter and support between the two of us remains in tact to this day thankfully.

 

[neonflux]

to you, JMohegan...

No.

When I think about Dommes, I think about real human beings whom I actually know. I have enormous respect for some of these women; for others, not so much... The type of Domme for whom I have respect is someone whom I regard as a peer. I recognize characteristics and qualities in her that are similar to my own. Because of this, we do not match up well even in fantasy...

Retrieval What I respond most negatively to in your question (and others have responded to the same line) is the following comment:

I'm talking about a woman that not only thinks she's above being dominated by a man but actually believes that men are supposed to be subservient to her and dominates them. (I believe these are called Dommes but I could be wrong).

You may not have meant this, but your comment seems to indicate the sexist view that women should NOT see themselves as being above Dominance from a man... ... The idea that all women Dominants would see Themselves as "superior" to men or "superior" to Their subs (I am bi-queer, also, btw), also seems sexist and is not at all reflective of my own feelings...

I would define myself as a Domme/switch woman - am by nature Dominant, but enjoy bottoming - it's a pain rather than a submission "thing." That said, I actually do submit to my primary BDSM partner (also switch, though more of a sub and less of a masochist than I). I am learning a lot about being a Domme through our relationship. In my limited experience, true submission is not "given" but earned. I have heard this echoed by a number of experienced submissives whom I respect, both male and female. The idea that a submissive is "easy by nature" seems to me to be disrespectful of the gift that one is given as a Dom/me. In addition, it reflects the lack of respect that is accorded the gift of submission in our "Non-consensual Top" culture.

My 2¢
~Neon