A question for authors... are you out and proud?

[Nau8tynnice]

Ok, so this might seem like a strange question but I am really curious as to how many authors of erotica here are open about their writing with their families, friends, work mates etc.
What reactions have you received when you’ve told the people in your lives how you spend your spare time?
If you’re like me and you hide it from most of the people in your life… what’s stopping you from letting them know?
For those of you who choose to share, thank you.

 

[oggbashan]

My family and friends know that I write erotica but not the specifics. I don't give away my Lit identity as a matter of course.

It's not a secret but it's not something I publicise. My non-erotic writing elsewhere is different.

My writing and presence on Literotica is a hobby, a pastime, not an all-consuming passion. I have enough other activities in my life that would take precedence over writing.

Og

 

[JPMMURPHY]

The family knows. My wife reads and comments.

 

[Nau8tynnice]

Thank you both for sharing. I just feel that I'm always making excuses to get away from the people in my life so I can write... the coffee shops in my area have become my personal little writing nests. It’s a strange feeling, sometimes I just want to tell people to get them off my back, so I don't have to make excuses as to why I am not free when they expect me to be.

 

[Nau8tynnice]

Thank you both for sharing. I just feel that I'm always making excuses to get away from the people in my life so I can write... the coffee shops in my area have become my personal little writing nests. It’s a strange feeling, sometimes I just want to tell people to get them off my back, so I don't have to make excuses as to why I am not free when they expect me to be.

OMG... I need to grow a backbone!!!

 

[rgraham666]

Yep, they do. Except my niece and nephews who are too young to understand.

 

[fieryjen]

My husband knows. So do most of our friends, even though, as Ogg, I do not give away my Lit identity. My parents and sibling do not know - I've told them I write, and I've shared some successes with them, but I just leave out the little fact that I'm talking about erotica.

 

[miwoodsman]

My wife knows, but that's it.

I volunteer a lot at my kids' elementary school plus coach youth sports teams. I'm not 'out' because I don't want common knowledge of my hobby to mess any of that up. Too many people would lump writing erotica with pedophilia.

 

[TxRad]

I've never been "in" so being "out" never was. Heck, at my age, I need something to brag about.

 

[sr71plt]

Nope, no one else knows. I write and edit in the "real" world too, so people just know that I write--not all of what I write.

 

[Vermilion]

yup, everyone knows except my dad and he only doesn't know about the erotic element and only because i know he reads on Lit and *that* would be excruciating!


x
V

 

[Stella_Omega]

OMG... I need to grow a backbone!!!

Hah! You really are a writer! I do the same thing sometimes, look at a sentence and realise I've made my own self all too clear.

My family has always been pretty open about sex, so I don't have much problem telling them that what i write is not mainstream. Non of them want to actually read it, though, which is both understandable and frustrating, because it means I can't share.

That frustration is leading me to try a less-explicit work, and it's so funny-- both my mother and my (young adult) daughter want to brainstorm with me on it, they are totally supportive.

But for you-- Can you say that you are 'learning' to write, and you just can't bring yourself to show anything to anyone yet? You can spin that one out for years and years...

 

[Jet Black]

*chuckles* My entire family know's that I write, and that it's erotic/romantic... Only my *coughs* Stepsister knows more then that.

...It's hard to show them how many view's and responses i've gotten when the words "incest/taboo" are jotted all over the page <_<'

 

[tickledkitty]

I'm still pretty much "in the closet." I've briefly mentioned "trying" to write and a "writer's website." There's always a thesaurus and a dictionary laying here. My husband has actually seen me working on stories, but he doesn't question, and I don't volunteer any information. I don't think anybody takes it seriously, and I doubt that they've thought about it enough to wonder what I'm writing or thought that any of it might be published somewhere.

 

[CharleyH]

Ok, so this might seem like a strange question but I am really curious as to how many authors of erotica here are open about their writing with their families, friends, work mates etc.
What reactions have you received when you’ve told the people in your lives how you spend your spare time?
If you’re like me and you hide it from most of the people in your life… what’s stopping you from letting them know?
For those of you who choose to share, thank you.

Hardly strange, hardly new. I have been 'OUT' for four years (when I first started working). My immediate family is proud. My aunt does not like to talk about it. C'est la vie. I am happy and proud in my chosen profession and as my mother always articulated ... if you are happy? That's all that matters.

 

[Nau8tynnice]

My wife knows, but that's it.

I volunteer a lot at my kids' elementary school plus coach youth sports teams. I'm not 'out' because I don't want common knowledge of my hobby to mess any of that up. Too many people would lump writing erotica with pedophilia.

Mmmhmm, I get that... I work in education so there is no way i can afford for management, the schools wider community or the teachers council to find out.

 

[buxxxom]

Mmmhmm, I get that... I work in education so there is no way i can afford for management, the schools wider community or the teachers council to find out.

Ditto for me, only my hubby and one friend knows my Lit identity. Other friends know I've submissions here, but not my Lit name.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

My husband knows. Some of my friends and family know. The ones that aren't evangelical or fundamental baptists, anyway...

 

[Nau8tynnice]

I'm still pretty much "in the closet." I've briefly mentioned "trying" to write and a "writer's website." There's always a thesaurus and a dictionary laying here. My husband has actually seen me working on stories, but he doesn't question, and I don't volunteer any information. I don't think anybody takes it seriously, and I doubt that they've thought about it enough to wonder what I'm writing or thought that any of it might be published somewhere.

Hmmm, that makes me a little sad... just the fact that you are putting your time into something and it’s been noticed by your husband but he hasn't taken more interest. Have you ever thought about writing a story for your husband and shared with him that way? I have told one very close friend about my writing... she had hounded me to read something I had written for a while. Finally we were out for coffee one day and of course I had already been at the cafe for an hour or so writing. She begged to read something, so I shared an introduction to a story I am working on collaboratively with a partner. The introduction itself was sensual... but not directly about sex. Very tame in comparison to the rest of my writing... yet it made her flushed in the face and she highlighted the word 'clit' and told me it made her feel uncomfortable. She didn't talk for a few minutes, obviously taking time to get herself together and then she told me that she loved my writing and made a few statements to explain why (teachers always give great feedback). I suppose that has made me crave for more sharing opportunities with the people I love. So I can get their opinions, ideas and suggestions (excluding my parents... there is no way in hell I what them to find out lol).

 

[tickledkitty]

Hmmm, that makes me a little sad... just the fact that you are putting your time into something and it’s been noticed by your husband but he hasn't taken more interest. Have you ever thought about writing a story for your husband and shared with him that way?

Sure, it would be great to be married to someone I wanted to share it with. However, that's not the case here. This is mine. That's how it will stay for now.

I think you'll find there are lots of us here who have SO's who are disinterested at best. Don't be sad. That's just the way it is.

 

[Nau8tynnice]

Ditto for me, only my hubby and one friend knows my Lit identity. Other friends know I've submissions here, but not my Lit name.

Hmmm, I wonder how many teachers there are out there writing erotica. I find it irritating that it is so frowned up... well that’s the feeling I get from society in general. I think a lot of what teachers do in public and in private (if it is revelled for some reason) is scrutinised. I wish the people that shared these ideas would realise we are people too. I am not saying I want to flaunt it in faces... "Hey parents and kids... look what I write about!" but it would be nice just to have a little less fear around it. Hmmm, i probably put too much thought into it.

 

[fun_queue]

This thread was helpful to me.

I am just starting to try to write erotica. I've told my husband and a couple of writing friends. I don't have much confidence yet, but it's building. What will I do if I get better and more prolific? Will I "own" this hobby of mine or talk about it "out loud?"

Hard to imagine, especially having teen and young adult kids.

My husband is going to be reading more of what I write, when I write it, but, I still want to keep some of it to myself, so I can be truly honest in my writing--if that makes sense. I do think some thoughts and imagine some scenes that I don't necessarily want to act out or participate in, but I like the idea of writing them out and using them for personal fantasies. If I were to fully come out with everything I hope to write, I feel it would make people close to me wonder too much about me.

And, I could totally see hubby feeling insecure or even disappointed that I hadn't brought it up specifically to him. Or trying too hard to please me or make a scene happen. I tell him everything I want and everything I imagine doing to & with him, he's an obliging fellow. But not everything that turns me on has everything to do with him. That might be confusing for him to sort out.

Again, if that makes sense.

 

[Nau8tynnice]

And, I could totally see hubby feeling insecure or even disappointed that I hadn't brought it up specifically to him. Or trying too hard to please me or make a scene happen. I tell him everything I want and everything I imagine doing to & with him, he's an obliging fellow. But not everything that turns me on has everything to do with him. That might be confusing for him to sort out.

Again, if that makes sense.

That makes perfect sense and it’s good to know I am not the only one gaining benefit from the responses to this thread. Thank you everyone for sharing.

 

[R. Richard]

I suspect that I have a somewhat different situation than most of the rest of you. I work in several different areas. In each area, I use a different name. If I get a call for 'Joe Consultant,' I slip into my computer consultant personality and terminology and discuss the wants and/or needs of a potential computer consultant employer. If I get a call for 'Joe Investor,' I slip into my investor personality and terminology and discuss the wants and/or needs of an investor client. If I get a call for 'the Beast,' you don't wannna' know and I sure as hell aint gonna' tell you.

The requirements for each are in which I work are so different that knowledge of my 'other activities' would tend to turn off potential clients in another area.

 

[jomar]

Nope. Not out. For personal and professional reasons. Maybe someday, since like a lot fo folks here I'm trying to write a novel, but it's looking more mainstream than erotica.