A prudent lie

[EJFan]

is it lying, or being untrue to yourself, if you tell someone what they need to hear because it makes them happy or feel better?

suppose you say or do something that is contrary to your habits/beliefs... are you lying to yourself or just to them or is it a harmless, selfless sacrifice (assuming there's no actual harm done, law broken, etc.)?

under what circumstances would you appease someone even if it was not in line with anything you felt was correct?

 

[silverwhisper]

i prefer honesty. if you don't have a particular problem w/ what's being said, cool. i do however have a problem w/ violating something you believe for that purpose. and how i handle such a situation is entirely dependent upon the circumstances. given a specific situation, i can answer more fully, though.

ed

 

[poppy1963]

I have responded like that under circumstances where a person has tried something new with a haircut or a new piece of clothing and THEY really really obviously like the result. Or if they have made something they really love like a new recipe or some artwork. If they do not ask for an honest critique directly and are just telling me how much THEY like it, I will likely just join them in their joy.

Now if they say, please, tell me honestly what you think....I will tell them.

 

[Munachi]

well i remember talking to some romanian friends, who (as i found out that day) like a certain politician that i see as dangerous... but as i was a guest in their house, and their country, and it was only shortly after my arrival, i didn't want to get into an argument (all that in a language i was not yet that secure in at the time). so when they asked me if i knew him, i claimed not to, and then just listened to them when they explained to me "all about him"...

so i suppose i did lie, and i suppose in a way i should have told them what is wrong about this guy's politics, and tried to change their mind. but the outcome, more likely, would have been that they either just tell me i can't know, because i am not from there and thus "don't understand", or the end of our friendship.

 

[ringle]

You chose a donk for your Av pic!

 

[poppy1963]

well i remember talking to some romanian friends, who (as i found out that day) like a certain politician that i see as dangerous... but as i was a guest in their house, and their country, and it was only shortly after my arrival, i didn't want to get into an argument (all that in a language i was not yet that secure in at the time). so when they asked me if i knew him, i claimed not to, and then just listened to them when they explained to me "all about him"...

so i suppose i did lie, and i suppose in a way i should have told them what is wrong about this guy's politics, and tried to change their mind. but the outcome, more likely, would have been that they either just tell me i can't know, because i am not from there and thus "don't understand", or the end of our friendship.

Actually...I think this was probably a wise & timely response for the many reasons you came to it! Perhaps in time the situation will again arise and you will have another opportunity to continue with the discussion.

 

[bobsgirl]

well i remember talking to some romanian friends, who (as i found out that day) like a certain politician that i see as dangerous... but as i was a guest in their house, and their country, and it was only shortly after my arrival, i didn't want to get into an argument (all that in a language i was not yet that secure in at the time). so when they asked me if i knew him, i claimed not to, and then just listened to them when they explained to me "all about him"...

so i suppose i did lie, and i suppose in a way i should have told them what is wrong about this guy's politics, and tried to change their mind. but the outcome, more likely, would have been that they either just tell me i can't know, because i am not from there and thus "don't understand", or the end of our friendship.

I think you handled it the right way. I was reminded of having to sit through lengthy diatribes by my father-iin-law on the evils of the Democratic party. He was full of shit, but I just kept my mouth shut to preserve family harmony. Choose your battles.

 

[poppy1963]

I think you handled it the right way. I was reminded of having to sit through lengthy diatribes by my father-iin-law on the evils of the Democratic party. He was full of shit, but I just kept my mouth shut to preserve family harmony. Choose your battles.

Yup...choose your battles! I agree wholeheartedly! But I still choose too many sometimes......sighs......get worn out. Battle fatigue.

This is EVIL CURSED POST 6666 for me...

 

[bobsgirl]

Yup...choose your battles! I agree wholeheartedly! But I still choose too many sometimes......sighs......get worn out. Battle fatigue.

This is EVIL CURSED POST 6666 for me...

Well, poppy, you know there are nitwits and assholes everywhere, so you certainly have a lot of battles to choose from!

 

[poppy1963]

Well, poppy, you know there are nitwits and assholes everywhere, so you certainly have a lot of battles to choose from!

LOL...seems so!

We all gotta pay the Karma Piper...I seem to pay mine online!

I just gotta learn to choose better...and I seem to be finding some good "guides" to help me in that process. My attempts to "save the world" at times turn me into that which I want to save the world FROM!

Live and learn, eh?

 

[EJFan]

You chose a donk for your Av pic!

that's not erick lindgren.

one thing i've noticed at the tables is that player perception is based on the perceiver's ability... in other words, an inferior player will erroneously consider a superior player to be unskilled.

 

[ringle]

one thing i've noticed at the tables is that player perception is based on the perceiver's ability... in other words, an inferior player will erroneously consider a superior player to be unskilled.

I didn't say Daniel was not skilled, just that he is a donk. I once had a high opinion of him but after listening to what he had to say at this years WSOP I have little or no respect for him any more. His play aside he is an argogant, misinformed twit. (BTW I don't consider myself to be an inferior player to Daniel, my own resume includes a 1st place in the final Party Poker weekly million with some 4600 entrants, and numerous other wins in smaller live events.)

 

[Eilan]

I'm confused. I thought this was a thread about lying, not a My Cyber Dick Is Bigger Than Yours contest.

 

[poppy1963]

I'm confused. I thought this was a thread about lying, not a My Cyber Dick Is Bigger Than Yours contest.

So...you tossin' your testosterone into the ring then, eh?

 

[Eilan]

So...you tossin' your testosterone into the ring then, eh?

Well, if we're talking cyber dicks, sure.

 

[silverwhisper]

o look, the thread took a turn towards cock sizes and bang! here comes eilan.

ed

 

[Eilan]

o look, the thread took a turn towards cock sizes and bang! here comes eilan.

ed

I'm kinda the one who turned it that way.

But to answer the original question--It depends.

 

[Starbuck69]

I will tell the truth most of the time and be as honest as possible with out being mean about it, but if Im talking to my wife then I will choose my words very carefully and if needed lie my ass of, she's going thru menopause so I would like to be able to live another day.

 

[poppy1963]

Well, if we're talking cyber dicks, sure.

Whoops....! Details, Poppy...details!

sowwy...

 

[bobsgirl]

I will tell the truth most of the time and be as honest as possible with out being mean about it, but if Im talking to my wife then I will choose my words very carefully and if needed lie my ass of, she's going thru menopause so I would like to be able to live another day.

Yes, we bite, if provoked!

 

[Starbuck69]

Yes, we bite, if provoked!

true even when not provoked, it happend last night just out of the blue and for no reason, I asked why ans she said because she wanted too

 

[bobsgirl]

true even when not provoked, it happend last night just out of the blue and for no reason, I asked why ans she said because she wanted too

I can honestly say it's like the two different sides of me are at war, and sometimes the bitch wins.

 

[onyxvixen]

I think politics is one of those areas where you live and let live and expect the same in return. Things like personal dress, religion etc are the same and I don't have a problem with that.

I think though that agreeing with something you disagree with never works in the long run. If the subject ever comes up again that person has a misconception of how you feel and you either have to play along or admit that you lied.

I think it's possible to be honest and tactful - even if by simply changing the subject. Nobody worth knowing will expect you to agree with them all the time anyway.