A practice session

This matted and glossy photo of Yesenin
bought at a Leningrad newsstand—permanently
tilted on my desk: he doesn’t stare at me
he stares at nothing; the difference between
a plane crash and a noose adds up to nothing.
And what can I do with heroes with my brain fixed
on so few of them? Again nothing. Regard his flat
magazine eyes with my half-cocked own, both
of us seeing nothing. In the vodka was nothing
and Isadora was nothing, the pistol waved
in New York was nothing, and that plank bridge
near your village home in Ryazan covered seven feet
of nothing, the clumsy noose that swung the tilted
body was nothing but a noose, a law of gravity
this seeking for the ground, a few feet of nothing
between shoes and the floor a light-year away.
So this is a song of Yesenin’s noose that came
to nothing, but did a good job as we say back home
where there’s nothing but snow. But I stood under
your balcony in St. Petersburg, yes St. Petersburg!
a crazed tourist with so much nothing in my heart
it wanted to implode. And I walked down to the Neva
embankment with a fine sleet falling and there was
finally something, a great river vastly flowing, flat
as your eyes; something to marry to my nothing heart
other than the poems you hurled into nothing those

years before the articulate noose.

~ Jim Harrison, Letters to Yesenin


This is the pain of which we speak, pain for each of them, pain when we shriek at the shadows, why does the world have to suck so much when so much of it doesn't? It's too people-y, I tells ya . . . .
 
Pamababble


To try to love
Those who will not allow
themselves to be loved
To try to please
Those who cannot be pleased
To try to entertain
those who are more entertaining
About you?
These were some of the things
that wore me out
Poetess
Spoken word
Theatrical delivery
Theatre degree was why
And how you could sing
Hitting notes
Like a sniper
Putting a bullet
In his targets eyeball
At 600 yards
Saying,
You had your choice
I could’ve hit either eye
One line of yours
That made me laugh
Whether words or delivery
I wasn’t sure
And it did not matter
“Don’t call me Boo!!!”
Okay, I can comply
You could articulate
Your deep unhappiness
The myriad of things
That piss you off
Weave tapestries about that
Which hurt you deeply
Explain your profound distrust
And another line
About they know you at the bar
“When the whiskey hits the bar
Before your ass hits the stool.”
Oh, you nailed life
Right in it’s seamy underbelly
Those who knew, knew
And those who didn’t
Did not know what to think
Hanging with the arts crowd
In rundown urban bars
That one in particular
With its dead-end
End of Life perverts up front
The old college dive
For the art school
Like graduating
But never leaving
It was not fair
You were a woman
Between the boys and the bartenders
Someone bought your drinks for you
Because being broke
Was your perpetual condition
Staggering home at closing time
Each night, a walk of shame
At least they did not kill you
At least you did not drive
That saved you trips to jail
You could be interesting
You could be impossible to talk to
If there was a formula
It changed from day to today
What pleased you Tuesday
Was piss in your cornflakes
Come Thursday next
Yes, you did
You wore me out
You were not mine to keep
In truth, even then,
I knew I did not want you
That I would never have you
I did not want to try
And perhaps no one ever would
Somehow, letting someone close
Would shatter the aura
Ruin the image
Perhaps, just perhaps
It would either ease the pain
Or it would be the reason
You would learn to tie
a
noose
In a rope
Death’s necklace.
 
Rain . . . .


Taking my own advice,
I have no idea what to write today.
But I’m going to write
Because Jesus hates a pussy,
And I, Dear Reader, ain’t no pussy.

I don’t know about you
(and I probably don’t want to),
But the best days of all,
The ones with the bestest weather,
The pretty ones,
Are the days right after
The ginormous hurricane blows out of town.

The air is a special kind of fresh.
Usually, the humidity is low and there is a breeze blowing.
You know, zephyrs.
A bit of wafting without the stench.
In fact, no stench at all.
The air has been flushed.
Disinfected without chemicals.

There is destruction that comes with it.
It flushes Man’s mind.
Rids him of the delusion that we are in charge of anything.
Or it should.
If only for a split second of clarity.. very nice wat
 
Pamababble


To try to love
Those who will not allow
themselves to be loved
To try to please
Those who cannot be pleased
To try to entertain
those who are more entertaining
About you?
These were some of the things
that wore me out
Poetess
Spoken word
Theatrical delivery
Theatre degree was why
And how you could sing
Hitting notes
Like a sniper
Putting a bullet
In his targets eyeball
At 600 yards
Saying,
You had your choice
I could’ve hit either eye
One line of yours
That made me laugh
Whether words or delivery
I wasn’t sure
And it did not matter
“Don’t call me Boo!!!”
Okay, I can comply
You could articulate
Your deep unhappiness
The myriad of things
That piss you off
Weave tapestries about that
Which hurt you deeply
Explain your profound distrust
And another line
About they know you at the bar
“When the whiskey hits the bar
Before your ass hits the stool.”
Oh, you nailed life
Right in it’s seamy underbelly
Those who knew, knew
And those who didn’t
Did not know what to think
Hanging with the arts crowd
In rundown urban bars
That one in particular
With its dead-end
End of Life perverts up front
The old college dive
For the art school
Like graduating
But never leaving
It was not fair
You were a woman
Between the boys and the bartenders
Someone bought your drinks for you
Because being broke
Was your perpetual condition
Staggering home at closing time
Each night, a walk of shame
At least they did not kill you
At least you did not drive
That saved you trips to jail
You could be interesting
You could be impossible to talk to
If there was a formula
It changed from day to today
What pleased you Tuesday
Was piss in your cornflakes
Come Thursday next
Yes, you did
You wore me out
You were not mine to keep
In truth, even then,
I knew I did not want you
That I would never have you
I did not want to try
And perhaps no one ever would
Somehow, letting someone close
Would shatter the aura
Ruin the image
Perhaps, just perhaps
It would either ease the pain
Or it would be the reason
You would learn to tie
a
noose
In a rope
Death’s necklace.
Damn I'm crying
Hit home and really got the emotions across vividly..is that a poem
 
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