A Note on Sending Me Anonymous Advice

[pink_silk_glove]

I see how it can be irritating but you should really focus on the validity of the actual feedback, in my opinion.

If the feedback is good, the source is irrelevant.

 

[GemmaGemmaGemma]

I haven't received anonymous feedback to my email in years. I definitely used to receive them. Just found a few at the very bottom of my email from 2019 and 2020. I wondered if there was something in my settings stopping it but they all seem in order. I just tried sending anonymous feedback to myself from an incognito tab and that hasn't gone through either. Is there something I am missing?

 

[Rob_Royale]

Wow. That's pretty ballsy to say the very least. Sorry to hear that happened. It's probably an English/Lit major who is working in an editing room for $20 an hour with a mountain of college debt and now feels free to spread their "expertise " around the internet.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

If the feedback is good, the source is irrelevant.

It's not easy being objective when weighing the feedback about our stories but yeah, I agree.

 

[KeithD]

I don't get many pointer emails, which is a good thing. There is just a handful of named posters here I would pay any attention to on writing technique suggestions. I don't give credence to the general Literotica readership on how/what to write. For better or worse, my technique isn't developing--it's finished. And what I post here isn't going to be reworked. It's not even going to be corrected when mistakes of fact (which do happen occasionally in my stories) are pointed out. This is the last stop for my stories. By the time they post here, they are what they're going to be.

 

[djrip]

Interesting, I have a couple of thoughts. First was, how did you even know advice was being offered if you didn't read it because it was anon? And initially I was thinking, come on, read it, then decide if it's worthless or not based on its content. But that was before your further explanation.

But I get your response somewhat, because I had similar with Stacnash. I got my comment from them perhaps before they made their account, or before they decided to use it for comments, because mine was anon. And it accused me of arguing with better writers than myself on the forum or something like that. Anon comments don't bother me generally, but this one referencing the forum did, because I thought it might have been one of the posters here, so I was always wondering, are you the one who thinks mean things about me but acts nice to my face? I felt dramatically better when I learned they were not one of the forum regulars being duplicitous.

So I can see not liking anonymity from a forum regular. But they just said fellow author. Maybe one who has never used the forum. Maybe it didn't occur to them that you would care what their fake name is, if they never interacted with you before, since the name is fake anyway. Maybe they would be happy to provide it if you asked.

I do doubt very much that not giving their name had anything to do with feeling they were superior to you. I can't imagine that ever being my reason to obscure my identity.

 

[Duleigh]

If the feedback is good, the source is irrelevant.

It's not a matter of good or bad, the writer identified themselves as a Lit writer. So it's a matter of respect and decency.

I don't play those games where you giggle and pass notes behind someone's back like school girls

 

[pink_silk_glove]

It's not a matter of good or bad, the writer identified themselves as a Lit writer. So it's a matter of respect and decency.

I don't play those games where you giggle and pass notes behind someone's back like school girls

No, you've completely missed the point.

Respect and decency is in the eye of the beholder. Clearly at this point you are just not willing to be objective about feedback and therefore not be objective about your own work. Clearly there is a good chunk of criticism out there that you feel that you are simply above. Any writer who feels that their work is above reproach even in the slightest of ways is not being fully objective of their work or of themselves. You can make any excuses that you want about juvenile anonymous note-passing but you are only fooling yourself. I hope that your skills are as good as your ego tells you they are because without that objectivity it will be extremely difficult for you to improve.

 

[Trionyx]

I have received anonymous feedback about grammar and plot issues which have been spot on. I read them, do some independent research and have improved my writing as a result. Other anonymous comments which make no sense or are hostile rants are easily deleted, but I read them all before deleting. Never know which might contain a small gem.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Hey, @Duleigh. Anonymous here. Stop posting about our private stuff on the forum. K...

and why aren't you answering my messages?

 

[KeithD]

No, you've completely missed the point.

Respect and decency is in the eye of the beholder. Clearly at this point you are just not willing to be objective about feedback and therefore not be objective about your own work. Clearly there is a good chunk of criticism out there that you feel that you are simply above. Any writer who feels that their work is above reproach even in the slightest of ways is not being fully objective of their work or of themselves. You can make any excuses that you want about juvenile anonymous note-passing but you are only fooling yourself. I hope that your skills are as good as your ego tells you they are because without that objectivity it will be extremely difficult for you to improve.

I think this is too harsh. The quality of feedback/criticism is controlled by the expertise/knowledge/lucky guessing of the source of the feedback/criticism. On sites like Literotica we have zero knowledge of the expertise/knowledge/talent for lucky guessing of nearly all of the people giving us feedback/criticism. It simply isn't true that all criticism here is valid because it's given. Whenever I've looked into it, it's actually been the opposite. Most of those giving technical/storybuilding advice here don't really seem to have any better knowledge of this than those they are "helping."

To me, an objective author on Literotica works her/his way out of writing by committee and taking all feedback as valid. Objective isn't giving ground on everything--it's largely gaining expertise and confidence in writing.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I think this is too harsh. The quality of feedback/criticism is controlled by the expertise/knowledge/lucky guessing of the source of the feedback/criticism. On sites like Literotica we have zero knowledge of the expertise/knowledge/talent for lucky guessing of nearly all of the people giving us feedback/criticism. It simply isn't true that all criticism here is valid because it's given. Whenever I've looked into it, it's actually been the opposite. Most of those giving technical/storybuilding advice here don't really seem to have any better knowledge of this than those they are "helping."

To me, an objective author on Literotica works her/his way out of writing by committee and taking all feedback as valid. Objective isn't giving ground on everything--it's largely gaining expertise and confidence in writing.

I might be inclined to agree with you except that in this case he's making his judgment of the feedback without even looking at the feedback itself.

 

[StillStunned]

What are you even talking about? I am not PMing her with complaints about the way the website is being run or about what should be done to improve things or anything like that. I am PMing her about a legitimate issue with my own stories and she doesn't reply at all.

Forgive me for leaping to a far-fetched conclusion based on this:

These PMs are about issues and problems people have while using the website

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Forgive me for leaping to a far-fetched conclusion based on this:

I honestly don't understand what you are on about. What I was saying is that people usually PM Laurel when they have a problem with publishing, with their account, when they want to edit or change something, if they got an unjustified rejection, and so on. In that line you quoted, I wasn't talking just about my own PMs, I was talking about everyone's PMs. I don't think that anyone PMs her to ask her how her day went and if she had seen this or that movie.
My whole point was that all she could hope to find in any PM was some request regarding some publishing or technical issues, so in that regard, all PMs are the same, and there is no criteria or reason to be selective about them unless it's about who is making the request.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

No, you've completely missed the point.

Respect and decency is in the eye of the beholder. Clearly at this point you are just not willing to be objective about feedback and therefore not be objective about your own work. Clearly there is a good chunk of criticism out there that you feel that you are simply above. Any writer who feels that their work is above reproach even in the slightest of ways is not being fully objective of their work or of themselves. You can make any excuses that you want about juvenile anonymous note-passing but you are only fooling yourself. I hope that your skills are as good as your ego tells you they are because without that objectivity it will be extremely difficult for you to improve.

I had received one of these "I'm a writer" anonymous critique email somewhat recently. It was a fairly lengthy email, going into great details about what they deemed were rookie flaws in my writing. Great! I'm all about constructive feedback, and they made plenty of good points, but then they signed off with the note "you are not as good a writer as you think you are."
And with that single cutting sentence, I recognized that the point of the email was not to help me, but to put me down and perhaps to self-gratify in doing so.

So yeah, I get where Duleigh is coming from. If you're going to offer critique, and you want me to believe that you're offering it in good faith, then put your skin in the game. Give me a name to call you by. I mean you don't have to, but in that case I'm inclined to do as Duleigh does and hit the delete button.

 

[StillStunned]

but then they signed off with the note "you are not as good a writer as you think you are."
And with that single cutting sentence, I recognized that the point of the email was not to help me, but to put me down and perhaps to self-gratify in doing so.

That's hilarious! How do they know what you think of your own writing skills?

Presumably they were impressed, and perhaps - for whatever reason - even threatened.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

That's hilarious! How do they know what you think of your own writing skills?

Right? Not once have I ever claimed to be a good writer. Horny writer certainly, but good? Never.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Right? Not once have I ever claimed to be a good writer. Horny writer certainly, but good? Never.

Haven't read the previous stuff. let me guess, Anonymous espousing more wisdom and 'free' advice?

 

[Duleigh]

And with that single cutting sentence, I recognized that the point of the email was not to help me, but to put me down and perhaps to self-gratify in doing so.

Exactly, combine that with the fact that they electronically told you to shut the fuck up by not allowing a reply, by denying you the chance to converse like an adult, they label them selves as arrogant little bullies IMHO.

I am open to any and all criticism or advise, if you want to converse. I've made a lot of on-line friends whose conversations started with "Damn, you suck," but they had the guts to converse. But if you think you're so damn much better than me as a person that you have to shut me off, your advice, good or bad, goes unread.

 

[Duleigh]

and why aren't you answering my messages?

I was rebuilding my Discord server. The hard drive died...

 

[StillStunned]

Right? Not once have I ever claimed to be a good writer. Horny writer certainly, but good? Never.

I don't understand. You seem to be implying there's a difference...?

 

[KeithD]

I might be inclined to agree with you except that in this case he's making his judgment of the feedback without even looking at the feedback itself.

This is a sharing site, not a critique site. Did he ask for this feedback? If not, it's unrequested push feedback and I don't feel he's under any obligation even to open it. But I don't think rants on this sort of thing need to come to the discussion board. They can be just privately ignored.

 

[CalebZhass]

This is one weird thread.

Is it even possible to send someone messages anonymously? (other than how I'm sure almost all of use use some sort of fake name anyway) I haven't found it yet, if it can be done.

If we are talking about comments on stories, I mean.. what's the big whoop about it? I'd think there are people out there with no accounts at all, wanting to leave a comment. I get the feeling, that the OP thinks to know that someone from the forum is writing comments on his works anonymously, but even if true, a thread like this appears to be a bit of an overreaction. Maybe a private message would have been better? Just thinking out loud.

 

[alohadave]

Is it even possible to send someone messages anonymously? (other than how I'm sure almost all of use use some sort of fake name anyway) I haven't found it yet, if it can be done.

On the story side. The Contact tab is how you send messages.

 

[KeithD]

This is one weird thread.

Is it even possible to send someone messages anonymously? (other than how I'm sure almost all of use use some sort of fake name anyway) I haven't found it yet, if it can be done.

Yes, I've received anonymous message via the Lit. feedback system. As noted earlier, I've also received messages with email addresses that proved not to exist when I tried to respond to them.