A little feedback, please

[CrownJoolz]

I've just posted my first submission and would like some feedback (hence the subject heading). All comments are welcome.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=79810

Thanks!
CrownJoolz

 

[the_bragis]

Hello CrownJoolz,

Love the name by the way.

Your story is first class. It's been a while since I've enjoyed a story this much on this site.

My only critism - don't type numbers, use the full word instead. E.g. 2 pregnancies. It's just that it really bugs some readers. Don't use brackets for the same reason. They say it breaks the flow of suspended belief.

I wish you well with your future writing.

Have a great day now.

Alex. (fem)

 

[CrownJoolz]

The_Bragis

Alex,

Thanks so much for your input. Of course you are right about the numbers. English Comp 101. I'll have to watch that...

Thanks, too, for the kind words regarding my story. It'll help me screw up the courage to write more.

Cheers,
CrownJoolz