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Itā€™s a PLP Blog Post!
(Donā€™t worry, I promise if you read this there will be filth later as payment. I know why you all cum here. ;) )

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This meme and the holidays are a good reminder about something Iā€™ve been trying to focus on lately and that is - Help people in the way they ask to be helped. Love people in the way they ask to be loved. And give people what they say they need.

Sometimes we have a tendency to think we know better than someone else what they need at any given moment. Iā€™ve certainly been guilty of reading between the lines or trying to out-think the people that I care about when really people will tell you exactly what they want, usually, if asked. With the exception of someone experiencing grief (and they get a hard pass on all of this), even silence says a lot.

During the holidays, itā€™s an especially good reminder to do what youā€™re asked - not more, not less. Were you asked to bring the paper plates to the Christmas party? Iā€™m going to hold your hand when I say this, thereā€™s a reason for that. Donā€™t bring that pie you think everyone likes. Youā€™re the paper plate guy now, okay? Bring the best paper plates you can afford and spare everyone having to feign delight at your weird, gritty pie.

When someone you care about tells you exactly what makes them feel important to you - do those things! Donā€™t assume things you do as an act of care will translate. I will use my partner as an example. I say ā€œDarling man, donā€™t keep those thoughts inside! Tell me how you feel. An unasked for compliment or words of affection go a long way with me.ā€ And he says, ā€œI shouldnā€™t have to tell you! Iā€™m here. I do this and that to make your life easier, you should know!ā€ And yes, I do know and I do appreciate the ā€˜this and thatā€™ butā€¦ why is it so hard to be loved in the way we ask? If someone says - ā€œit means a lot to me when you do thisā€ and you want them to feel cared for, itā€™s simple math to give the person what they have kindly and clearly asked for!

Another actionable point here is the idea that we often think we know better whatā€™s best for someone else than they know themselves. Which is ridiculous. Iā€™m very guilty of this. I push people away or make suggestions towards things I think they are suited for or even something as simple as buying a thing that I think theyā€™d actually like even though theyā€™ve expressly said they donā€™t like it. (But hon, you look so good in pastels!) Caring for people is listening and respecting what they are expressing and not second guessing their words or intentions.

Lastly, when someone asks YOU what would make you feel cared for or what you need. Donā€™t do that thing that we Southern women invented and say ā€œoh nothingā€ or ā€œIā€™m fineā€. People arent mind readers. Instead, take a moment to reflect and then clearly communicate what you need. You just might get exactly what you want ā€¦ and wouldnā€™t that be amazing?
 
PrettyLilPussy19 said:
Itā€™s a PLP Blog Post!
(Donā€™t worry, I promise if you read this there will be filth later as payment. I know why you all cum here. ;) )

View attachment 2436815

This meme and the holidays are a good reminder about something Iā€™ve been trying to focus on lately and that is - Help people in the way they ask to be helped. Love people in the way they ask to be loved. And give people what they say they need.

Sometimes we have a tendency to think we know better than someone else what they need at any given moment. Iā€™ve certainly been guilty of reading between the lines or trying to out-think the people that I care about when really people will tell you exactly what they want, usually, if asked. With the exception of someone experiencing grief (and they get a hard pass on all of this), even silence says a lot.

During the holidays, itā€™s an especially good reminder to do what youā€™re asked - not more, not less. Were you asked to bring the paper plates to the Christmas party? Iā€™m going to hold your hand when I say this, thereā€™s a reason for that. Donā€™t bring that pie you think everyone likes. Youā€™re the paper plate guy now, okay? Bring the best paper plates you can afford and spare everyone having to feign delight at your weird, gritty pie.

When someone you care about tells you exactly what makes them feel important to you - do those things! Donā€™t assume things you do as an act of care will translate. I will use my partner as an example. I say ā€œDarling man, donā€™t keep those thoughts inside! Tell me how you feel. An unasked for compliment or words of affection go a long way with me.ā€ And he says, ā€œI shouldnā€™t have to tell you! Iā€™m here. I do this and that to make your life easier, you should know!ā€ And yes, I do know and I do appreciate the ā€˜this and thatā€™ butā€¦ why is it so hard to be loved in the way we ask? If someone says - ā€œit means a lot to me when you do thisā€ and you want them to feel cared for, itā€™s simple math to give the person what they have kindly and clearly asked for!

Another actionable point here is the idea that we often think we know better whatā€™s best for someone else than they know themselves. Which is ridiculous. Iā€™m very guilty of this. I push people away or make suggestions towards things I think they are suited for or even something as simple as buying a thing that I think theyā€™d actually like even though theyā€™ve expressly said they donā€™t like it. (But hon, you look so good in pastels!) Caring for people is listening and respecting what they are expressing and not second guessing their words or intentions.

Lastly, when someone asks YOU what would make you feel cared for or what you need. Donā€™t do that thing that we Southern women invented and say ā€œoh nothingā€ or ā€œIā€™m fineā€. People arent mind readers. Instead, take a moment to reflect and then clearly communicate what you need. You just might get exactly what you want ā€¦ and wouldnā€™t that be amazing?
Click to expand...
/said in my best podcast announcer voice - This been another "Words of Wisdom to Live by" with PLP.
 
 
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