❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

06.07.25

Simple question for a Saturday night...

How good are you at making the first move? Tell me about it. 🫦
I am absolute dogshit at making the first move. But then again, with every girlfriend I've ever had, it was always me having to make the first move, because they've all been shyer or more awkward than me (or just plain didn't know I was interested). I don't think anyone has ever made the first move in trying to flirt with me, which is kind of a bummer to my ego now that I think about it.

Also, "first move" is kind of a misnomer for me, since it's rarely a single move. Most often it's conversations that build into friendships that lead to deeper conversations until I say something like, "I'd really like to make out with your thighs." And then I either get slapped, laughed off, or get to make out with her thighs.
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
 
Last edited:
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
I have had the good fortune of never having lived in a world where queer folks weren’t present and loved. but I did go to public school and internalized homophobia is hard to avoid entirely.

But I never really had a deep seated issues or doubt about my own sexuality. I’m not attracted to men. But I’m not NOT attracted to them either. The idea of being attracted to them doesn’t disgust me or make me uncomfortable.

There are men I appreciate aesthetically very much. Could I see that changing to sexual attraction? Sure. But like any other attraction it’s not anything I’m gonna indulge beyond fantasy at this point in my life anyway.
 

Are you a holder of grudges? What kind of thing will create a grudge for you? Do you keep an offense fresh in your mind as an act of self protection or does it just pop up whenever you think of someone who’s wronged you? Do you take on the grudges of your friends and loved ones? What kind of thing will help create a resolution to bury the bad feels? Has anyone ever held a grudge against you?
No. I really don't hold grudges anymore. It just feels like wasting energy now.
Although I've never really been wronged at a level that is earth shattering or life changing. Maybe my opinion would change if something like that were to happen. But for smaller things, I tend to look at the motivation of why people do the things they do. If it "make sense" why they would do it, even if it's a crappy or selfish reason, I find it's a lot easier to let it go.

Or are you a forgive and forget kind of person? Do you find that it’s harder with some things than others? Have you ever tried to help peace make for a loved one with a grudge? If you’re perfectly in the middle, how’d you get to be such a balanced paragon of humanity? 😉
I'm not sure I forgive everyone, I don't ever forget. But by letting go of harm that's been done makes it easier to move on. There were a few situations as a late teenager that were a bit harder to move on from, and one as a young adult that stung for a long time. I've learned that sting really only hurts myself, and by letting it all go is a lot more freeing.
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
I wish I could be something other than just straight. Straight is so boring. I feel like such a caricature, with my slightly flabby dad-bod, my ability to watch golf on tv, and my desire to talk about a book I just read about World War II. Oh, to be gay and fabulous. What would it be like? To have flair? To have rhythm? To walk into LGBTQ spaces and be the bear everyone wants to hug? Woe to me and my dull heterosexuality. *sigh* - if you need me, I'll be out smoking meats and waiting for football season to start. :(
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
No I'm straight, I never needed to evaluate it.


When I see gay guys, they look happier than us straight men, who have to deal with these crazy ass women. I love women and wouldn't change a thing, but the gay man situation looks like a much happier life 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?

I wanted to answer this one. For the most part, I've always been straight. But I have had some experiences that make me wonder how straight I really am. When I was younger I did have a real crush on a guy. He was gorgeous, blond, tanned, blue eyes, great body. He was a musician! I wasn't sure if I wanted him, or to be him. But if he had made a move I would have let him do most anything to me. It was LUST lol

To be truthful, I also have enjoyed a lot of gay stories and some porn over the years, though it was a very rare mood for me to do so. I had a roommate for a year or so who was very gay and very pretty and I admit I did fantasize a bit about it.
Still, I never felt the visceral desire for men, like I do for women. It really is a biological urge with women.

When I read @PrettyLilPussy19's words, the reaction that I have is deep in my gut and not at all gentle. When I read @hotwords229_A , I just kind of feel a naughty tingle. So I guess my sexuality is fluid, but mostly straight focused?
I would probably need a deep emotional and mental connection with the right man, before doing anything.
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
That's so obnoxious to read!

I've always known I was straight. I've been approached by men and... no interest, not even a flicker. My sexuality is one of the few things about myself that has never changed.
Do I wish I identified as something else? I'd love to know what it feels like to feel attraction to men, there's a whole world of understand that's locked out for me, and I think where I am right now I'd be very safe, although these questions are always riddled with complexities about how living as an openly non-straight person would be different.

Do I think my sexuality will shift? I don't. I mean it might, but at rattling up to 40 I'd be a little bit surprised.

"Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?"
Probably. I'll get back to you.
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
I’m demisexual, which apparently is on the asexual spectrum. I’m a little skeptical of it as a separate sexuality, but it does fit me very well. I rarely feel attracted to people, male or female, but when I do there has to be a strong connection there. I have felt what feels like a romantic love attraction to women that I’m really close to, but if I really think about the mechanics of being with a woman sexually, it doesn’t appeal. It just feels wrong in my mind when I think of kissing or other things with a woman. I wish it weren’t like that because I think it would be easier for me to trust women in relationships (not that I don’t think men are trustworthy, I just seem to connect that way with women better). Ok, that was all over the place, but it comes down to - I’m pretty much straight.

I couldn’t read the second half, the color is too light.
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
I think I’m typical of straight males. I can’t imagine finding guys attractive (one brother otoh knew early on he likes males). I also think it makes sense for women to like women because women are attractive(shallow perhaps but there it is) I can imagine if my life were different that I could be in MFM situation where I was so horny in the moment that I would be very suggestible. I’m not repulsed by the idea but in a vacuum not attracted to it either.
 
Last edited:
Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization?
Not really. I came to the realization that I'm bisexual in my early teens.

How open are you - on Lit or IRL?
I'm completely open on Lit. Most long-time IRL friends also know. Being married, the topic doesn't really come up with new IRL people. If anyone asked, I would tell them.

How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality?
I don't anticipate my sexuality shifting in the future. I'm not sure what new understandings I could have of it, but I'm open to them.

Do you ever wish you identified as something else?
No, never have.

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
Not at the moment.
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization? How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?

Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
As a young man I thought I was really radical and cool (a rebel without a cause clue, as I was once called) and thought we should be able to enjoy all sorts of sex, fucking everything in sight, a bit like the Romans apparently did.
To this end I slept with a male friend who was gay and who I really liked as a person. We tried but I just wasn't turned on at all.
Many years later, after I got divorced, I went a bit wild and met up with a couple online. There was intercourse with the lady and oral sex between me and the man. Whilst it was a hot scene, I found I was very mechanical and detached when it came to the man (although he gave a better bj 😏)
My takeaway from this. I'm not Roman and I'm not gay or bisexual, although at heart I knew this anyway, and to really enjoy sex and making love I need a connection and attraction.🙂
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization?
Yes, when I was young and confused about who I was in general. I had a thing with my best friend at the time. Turns out I do love the penis and I just really loved her as a human.

How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?
I don’t wish I was anything other than what I am, but at some point in my life when a man had really destroyed me I probably thought fuck women would be so much easier, but honestly women would be a different kind of challenge but a challenge nonetheless the less.

I am certain who I am now. It’s taken me a long time to be good with the inside and the out, but I finally truly am. I got this.

Love can be hard, sex can be hard, relationships can be hard it’s all a necessary and beautiful mess, and we’re pretty lucky if we get to experience some true joy and love before we pop off this ride.
Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
I wish you would not use that ^ green again my tired eyes did not cope. 😂
 
I’m demisexual, which apparently is on the asexual spectrum. I’m a little skeptical of it as a separate sexuality, but it does fit me very well. I rarely feel attracted to people, male or female, but when I do there has to be a strong connection there. I have felt what feels like a romantic love attraction to women that I’m really close to, but if I really think about the mechanics of being with a woman sexually, it doesn’t appeal. It just feels wrong in my mind when I think of kissing or other things with a woman. I wish it weren’t like that because I think it would be easier for me to trust women in relationships (not that I don’t think men are trustworthy, I just seem to connect that way with women better). Ok, that was all over the place, but it comes down to - I’m pretty much straight.

I couldn’t read the second half, the color is too light.
I'm demisexual too. It almost feels like being a sexual sleeper agent in that I need the right person and the right connection to activate my desire.
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality? If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind? If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization?
Up until maybe two years ago I thought I was 100% straight. I've had extremely intense friendships with women before. For a few years I was flatmates with one such friend and I'd describe that as almost platonic soul mates. I can look back now and know I loved her but it never occurred to me then.

Similar to @cheekygirl75 I often thought sexual activity with a woman was a step too far for me. I have closer relationships with women than men and have always been more comfortable in their presence - I don't know if that's anything more than an after effect of some bad experiences though - and I have many good friends with different sexualities but I just always thought I was just an ally really.

So what changed?
This little pervy paradise.
Making friends with women here who are flirty and sexual and share themselves. I had a good friendship that had the opportunity to become more and I didn't even hesitate to say yes. I identify as bi but maybe pansexual is more appropriate as it's the person who attracts me rather than what body parts they have
How open are you - on Lit or IRL? How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality? Do you ever wish you identified as something else?
I'm definitely open here. It's a good place to figure things out I think.

Irl is a slower process. I have nothing to hide from anyone but I don't know if I need to announce it just yet? I grew up in a fairly rough working class town. No one I went to school with was "out" because of the fear of being beaten up.

My parents raised me to not be judgemental and to treat people equally but it's definitely a "do as I say, not as I do" thing. My sister knows about my midlife journey of self discovery and she's extremely supportive but the rest of my family is need to know only and, right now, they don't.

I'm currently happy with my sexuality. Next step is to be brave enough to start dating again.
Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
No, I'm good 😊
 
06.11.25

Coming off the back of that question and because it’s Pride month.


Have you ever evaluated your sexuality?
Am I positive I’m straight? Yes.
If you identify as straight, have you always defaulted that way or have you evaluated it with any open mind?
My mind is open, but my love for women is unquestionable. I just don’t have feelings for guys like that.
At the same time, I know a sexy dude when I see one, but my interest is mostly “Damn, I wish I had a body like that”. Similar to if I liked his car.
If you identify as something else, when do you come to that realization?
I identify as odd. From birth. 😎
How open are you - on Lit or IRL?
On Lit, I let every perverted thought run free. In real life, I also do that, but in a more reserved, socially acceptable way (kind of 😁).
How flexible are you to your sexuality shifting in the future or having new understandings of your sexuality?
If I woke up gay tomorrow, I would be jumping on cock like it was going out of business, but I don’t see that happening.

One thing that has been interesting is a recent interest in an MFM, MMF situation. Until recently, I would have been totally against this idea—to share a woman would be insane to me. But the more I think about teaming up on a woman to give her the night of her life, the more I like thinking about it.

I couldn’t do it with someone I loved, she’s mine! But a couple of sexy friends, on a night when things get out of control? I’m getting hard just thinking about it. 🤷‍♂️
Do you ever wish you identified as something else?
Nope.
Anything else I haven’t asked that you’d be curious about?
Why are we so obsessed with breasts?
Is it because they’re the greatest things ever invented, or does it have to do with some kind of childhood, life-giving, food source, motherhood thing?

Either way, I rate them 11 out of 10.
 
Whew trying to keep up with this great discussion! The psyc/human sexuality professor in me wants all of you be on a panel with my students. So much to be learned from real life versus books

As for me as an older male who has done and seen a bit, I am hetero with support of all. I grew up with one of the first out men in high school as well as college, we talked through so much that helped me understand much and helped in both sides of my profession. I look back and know he helped me work with later friends on all sides of the sexuality coin. I had a lesbian friend tell me recently that I seem "so open" to issues but many I have to ask about to understand. So being open, accepting has helped with much in my time.

Much love and thank you all for the discussion, especially @PrettyLilPussy19 for creating the board
 
Back
Top