Guyblue82
Dirty Mind Clean Bod
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2015
- Posts
- 2,941
Yes!!!
Er...no....
*bends over*
*Runs through and smacks*
❓ PLP Inquires❓
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*Runs through and smacks*
Guyblue82
Dirty Mind Clean Bod
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2015
- Posts
- 2,941
I remember having a summer fling before I left for college. I always indeed it to be a short term thing but she wanted more. I settled and let the relationship go with me to school but I regretted it because it wasn't fair to her and it certainly want what I was focused on. I was a bad boyfriend. I learned to be direct with what I want and to be more empathetic, from that relationship.
LostGirlTink
Adorkable weirdo
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2017
- Posts
- 10,548
Yes.
Wait can I still get spankings if I elaborate?
I knew my marriage was over in 2002. I was sure of it in 2008. It still took years before I gave up completely because “that’s what marriage turns into” and he used to be different.
Don’t do this. You never know what will happen and you shouldn’t waste your life waiting or settling.
Apisto42
Noble Moon Rabbit
- Joined
- May 7, 2014
- Posts
- 8,905
Yep. I grew being told to buy the most inexpensive stuff. I learned that sometimes the reason it’s cheap is because it’s not very good. Along with that I learned that if you can’t afford what you really want, work harder and save for it. When you get something that is classy, beautiful, functional and lasts for a long time, it’s worth it.
There’s probably a connection to relationships ...
Wow! Look at her ass!
Karabare
Always professional
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2017
- Posts
- 9,181
Yes, I had a bf in college. He loved me, I did not love him. He was also my first and only time dealing with emotional abuse. So did he actually love me? Who knows. But when we went home for summer I took advantage and broke up with him because I knew I was safe.
But I still get a spanking, right?
Dribble
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2007
- Posts
- 16,842
I am not sure. I take what life gives me. Is that settling? Is putting your life on hold for the sake of your children settling? Is doing the next right thing settling even though you want more? Is not being self-centered settling? I am not sure I can answer this question. I will think more on it.
LostGirlTink
Adorkable weirdo
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2017
- Posts
- 10,548
Putting your life on hold for anything is a mistake. Even your children.
You have to find a balance or you will lose yourself #lifelessonslearned
B
BadAmy
Guest
I do not think I ever settled for anyone.
Those that came into my life were welcomed, and loved. Each was special in their own way and I treasure all the memories I had. No regrets.
well, all except that one guy from band? what a dick. He was cute, but seriously, the clarinet is not supposed to be used "that" way...by anyone!
I am kinky, but dude, you got issues.
I mean, well... I did it.
Who knew a wind instrument could be so versatile.
https://media.giphy.com/media/djUmVzqYa1kn6/giphy.gif
Dribble
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2007
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- 16,842
I agree w the balance tink...but having been raised in a family where I never came first, and knowing how that felt, I rather error on the other side and have my kids know, without a doubt, they always come first. I dont view any of my choices as settling. But many others do. I view it as priorities. If I was rich, I would have a different view.
BlondeAmbition4RP
Primadonna Girl
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2016
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- 3,242
I can't think of a time when I settled for less than what I wanted/needed in a relationship. I can think of a couple times when I was probably about to, but then realized what I was doing and stopped myself/walked away from that relationship.
Right now the main thing I can think of that I've "settled" for is having plants instead of a pet, because my apartment won't allow pets, but I'm also kinda looking for a loophole.
PrettyLilPussy19
🦇 Morticia 🦇
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2018
- Posts
- 30,700
Yes!!!
Er...no....
*bends over*
https://66.media.tumblr.com/688107413fb4ad772700530f07595dba/tumblr_psrgmiUawR1rppf5q_500.gif
Bad bad girls....
AveryElle
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2017
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- 6,081
To me, there’s settling and compromising. I haven’t settled in a LONG damn time. When I first started exploring more casual relationships, I didn’t care enough about myself and let partners treat me less than I deserved. I believed any attention was better than none and made poor choices. I was settling for partners that treated me badly. But in work, with a few small exceptions, I have never settled. I’ve always worked hard and tried to ‘be better’. My career has been mostly uphill and when I felt I wasn’t doing enough or making enough, I’d get a second job. I’ve never been too good for a side hustle.
Compromise, though. I have had to compromise a ton, especially since becoming a mother and since we moved. I’ve compromised friendships in the name of long term family stability. I’ve compromised happiness at work in order to ensure my kid has health insurance and we can pay the mortgage. I’ve compromised who I am because I am putting them before myself. I don’t resent it, as this has been my choice. Settling, to me, comes with some resentment.
I’ve compromised my principles for some relationships. I’ve compromised my health to make sure I’m around for my family now. These are things I SHOULDN’T be doing, but I am. And they’re conscious choices I struggle with every day. So settling? No. But compromise? A fuck ton.
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PrettyLilPussy19
🦇 Morticia 🦇
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2018
- Posts
- 30,700
09.22.19
Exes
Are you good at remaining friend with your exes/past partners? Do you like to stay on friendly terms or is it too hard to watch them move on?
Exes
Are you good at remaining friend with your exes/past partners? Do you like to stay on friendly terms or is it too hard to watch them move on?
AlpineFresco
Just a guy
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2018
- Posts
- 7,550
Pretty good, I'd say. Notably I've an ex where we didn't talk for a short while as the break wasn't awesome, but it wasn't terrible and nobody felt aggrieved so we got back into friendly terms and then... I guess as some friendships do, we've drifted a bit. It happens, but no ill will. I am happy that she seems in a better place now than at any time since I've known her, settled with a guy who's a great match.
Another, it was an amicable break and she's still a very close friend and someone I care about very much, even though it's platonic now. We chat regularly over messenger, play games on Steam, and I can crash on her couch when there's an event on in her city. Again, though, happy that she's moved on and want nothing but the best for her
But then, I've not felt wronged by anyone, nor have they felt wronged by me, so staying friends has been fine.
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Dribble
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2007
- Posts
- 16,842
Yes...and no. I move on. Different locations, different lives, different worlds. I have no reason to "stay" friends. But if by chance our paths do cross, we easily pick up our "friendship". Do I actively stay in touch? No. If I hear their mother died, do I reach out? Yes.
Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
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- 50,279
I can't imagine being friends with an ex. But then I've never experienced a 'good' breakup.
AveryElle
Literotica Guru
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- Dec 15, 2017
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One is still an occasional partner. The others can find me on social media. But generally, no. I’ve moved. I’ve moved on. I don’t see the need to have people in my life in that way that have seen me naked.
I also hold grudges like nobody’s business.
ETA: not many have ‘moved on’ in the way that would make most exes jealous. They seem to be a pretty unmotivated group. One was a US Attorney who went to private practice. Another was a foreign service officer. But they haven’t changed their lives in any significant way that’s difficult to see. Maybe I just know how to pick super dull partners? Ha!
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cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2015
- Posts
- 29,719
catching up...
nope. I was precocious, so in my early days, my partners were much more experienced than I was and by the time I was older, all the men that were my age, had at least some sexual experience.
There have been times, when I have experienced new sexual activities together with a partner, both of us for the first time.
In college, I dated a man for nearly a year after he pursued me so persistently that I gave in to his advances. I never should have. It was not a good match at all and I was definitely settling. He was selfish and self-centered and immature and when it ended I was angry both at him, and at myself for having been so duped/ settling for something I should have known better than. In RL I have never settled since. I have been fooled more than once by on-line folks... esp when I was in sub frenzy and my hard won judgment skills were compromised.
Yes. In almost every case, my lovers have been friends first and I have generally treasured those relationships when we have become ex-lovers. I have striven to have "good endings" with lovers, so that we are able to remain friends on some sort of basis. (the college bf above is a notable exception...we were both at a college reunion some years back, and he never once spoke to me - and I failed to recognize him when we were in the same large rooms. I know from others he was actively avoiding me, though I was not expending any energy to avoid him)
Next week, I plan to have lunch with a man that I lived with many years ago. We celebrated each others' weddings, the advent of new life and grieved when death and illness visited our loved ones. I have seen him regularly over the years, as circumstances have allowed. It would make me very sad, were I to lose his friendship.
I wonder sometimes, if it has been relatively easy for me to remain on good terms with exes because it has generally been my choice, not theirs, to move on. (I wish there was an "uncertain" emoji) This fact does not explain their willingness to remain in contact with me, even as they have moved on with their lives, loves, families, etc.
nope. I was precocious, so in my early days, my partners were much more experienced than I was and by the time I was older, all the men that were my age, had at least some sexual experience.
There have been times, when I have experienced new sexual activities together with a partner, both of us for the first time.
In college, I dated a man for nearly a year after he pursued me so persistently that I gave in to his advances. I never should have. It was not a good match at all and I was definitely settling. He was selfish and self-centered and immature and when it ended I was angry both at him, and at myself for having been so duped/ settling for something I should have known better than. In RL I have never settled since. I have been fooled more than once by on-line folks... esp when I was in sub frenzy and my hard won judgment skills were compromised.
Yes. In almost every case, my lovers have been friends first and I have generally treasured those relationships when we have become ex-lovers. I have striven to have "good endings" with lovers, so that we are able to remain friends on some sort of basis. (the college bf above is a notable exception...we were both at a college reunion some years back, and he never once spoke to me - and I failed to recognize him when we were in the same large rooms. I know from others he was actively avoiding me, though I was not expending any energy to avoid him)
Next week, I plan to have lunch with a man that I lived with many years ago. We celebrated each others' weddings, the advent of new life and grieved when death and illness visited our loved ones. I have seen him regularly over the years, as circumstances have allowed. It would make me very sad, were I to lose his friendship.
I wonder sometimes, if it has been relatively easy for me to remain on good terms with exes because it has generally been my choice, not theirs, to move on. (I wish there was an "uncertain" emoji) This fact does not explain their willingness to remain in contact with me, even as they have moved on with their lives, loves, families, etc.
Whiskeyjack
The Nappening
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2005
- Posts
- 14,800
It depends on the ex. There's one I'm still very good friends with nearly 20 years after we broke up. There are a few more I'm more Facebook friends with. We don't really talk, but I wish them well and I like to see good things happening for them. The only ex- I really don't get along with is the one I came closest to marrying. That break-up was particularly painful all around, for a variety of reasons. I don't hate her or wish her pain or anything. But I also have no desire to keep up with her or talk to her again.
A
AlwaysFara
Guest
Depends on the ex.
Justadesperatewifeandmom
digital demi-god
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2017
- Posts
- 27,597
I am. Almost all of my relationships ended well. No drama, simply it was time, my relationships were designed to be transient, and formed with all parties knowing this. Quite a few have friended me on social media and we talk often. Spoke to one today as it is his birthday. When I am visiting a city I once lived, I post it on social media and ask if anyone wants to get together. A few have invited me for dinner, three have invited me to dinner in their home to meet their wives and family. I also post a night out when I travel and anyone who wants to hang out, comes to that location. Quite a few have. One has stayed in my guest bedroom a few days. We have had one of hubby's exes stay with us as well.
I wish nothing but the best for them, even the one relationship that didn't end well. I hope he is happy
Lord Pmann
Lord
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 21,111
For the most part, yes. Not saying it can always happen. But you all know how lovable I am. People usually still want to be my friend after. And typically, if I like a girl, she's usually nice. So, just because it didn't work out, doesn't mean we have to be enemies.
But sometimes it just cannot be, for one reason or another.
Xerxes82
Not here for you
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2002
- Posts
- 24,291
Honestly, I've never really been friends with any of my exes, save one. Most of the time it's just life. Once the thing is over, particularly if we wouldn't run into each other in the course of otherwise everyday activities, there just isn't any reason to cling to it. Easy enough to be cordial should we meet, but I'm not one to dwell externally. (Internally is a whole different shit show.)
There was one exception, where we stayed friendly. We were friends before we were lovers, and remained so after we split, though there was a clear distance in between us now. Lasted years before life took us in other directions.
And one exception where we didn't. My ex-fiance. It ended badly. Normally I'm one for second chances. I'd like one when I screw up and it's only fair. But not her. It isn't that I can't forgive. It's that I won't. And I'm ok with that. If we never see or speak to each other ever again I am perfectly happy.
Azuldrgon
Her Squishy
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2005
- Posts
- 68,620
Real life exes are no where close to where I live, so no issues there.
Lit exes are around. I try to be respectful and give them space. I like seeing them happy though.
Suz_anne
A Bit of Alright
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2010
- Posts
- 17,488
Friends with: 1
Never want to see ever again ever ever ever: 1
Friendly: The rest
There is a guy I dated in college that I have known since 5th grade. We're still friends - lots of common friends from home, he's a good guy and I like his wife a lot.
The one I never want to see again was not a good guy. Fuck him.
The others I am generally congenial with and can make pleasant small talk if I run into them anywhere. It has been so long at this point, any hurt feelings have dissipated.
(I smoked some new weed tonight and... let's just say that it just took me 2:30 minutes to figure out how to spell the word dissipated.)
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