AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
Yep. Her name is Be.Ebonyfire said:
the Un-Hijackable, Non Sequitor, Rambling Thread
- Thread starter snowy ciara
- Start date
brioche
Work in Progress
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2004
- Posts
- 2,029
Ebonyfire said:
I feel like kicking asses. I FUCKING HATE report cards. HATE HATE HATE. And of course I put tham off for as long as possible. They were technically due Friday, though I told her I'd have them in tomorrow. Probably Tuesday. Grrr.
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
May I just say that looking at personals ads is really freaking depressing, and looking at kink-based personal ads, doubly so? It's like wandering into an episode of the Twilight Zone...
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
I... just.... um. Wow. Dear god.
(too speechless even to laugh at this point...)
(too speechless even to laugh at this point...)
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
Ok, so my brothers computer was being a pain. I downloaded him Ad-Aware and AVG and HijackThis and got his computer cleaned of all spyware, trojans and virus'. I also told him to be more careful when looking at porn. (He's 19, I wouldn't believe he wasn't looking if he tried to tell me that.) So then I downloaded him mozilla firefox. I was transfering his bookmarks, and found two bondage porn sites bookmared. LOL I was teasing him, and my sister said 'Well, one of those I bookmarked.' It must be genetic since we didn't grow up together.
It must be genetic since we didn't grow up together.
callinectes
yep
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2006
- Posts
- 1,286
I need my butt kicked. And not in a good way. I am not responsible for aother adult's behavior and failure to manage his own life. So why do I feel so bad and guilty for getting on with my own life while his spirals out of control? Had I not left him he would still be hanging on. I would be miserable but he would be sort of okay. Somewhere in my sick brain that would be easier to deal with. Talk about toxic.
Divorce sucks, even when it is a good thing.
Divorce sucks, even when it is a good thing.
Last edited:
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
callinectes said:I need my butt kicked. And not in a good way. I am not responsible for aother adult's behavior and failure to manage his own life. So why do I feel so bad and guilty for getting on with my own life while his spirals out of control? Had I not left him he would still be hanging on. I would be miserable but he would be sort of okay. Somewhere in my sick brain that would be easier to deal with. Talk about toxic.
Divorce sucks, even when it is a good thing.
*hugs* I'm sorry, hon.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
That is TOO funny, gracie!graceanne said:<Snippage> I was transfering his bookmarks, and found two bondage porn sites bookmared. LOL I was teasing him, and my sister said 'Well, one of those I bookmarked.'
callinectes said:
Am I allowed to respond on this thread, or no? All I wanted to say is that I've been in the same position and the analogy I use is that of a drowning person. If you jump in the water trying to save someone, they will drown you & themselves trying to climb up your body. Don't do it. You will BOTH perish.
I finally threw my husband out, having picked him up from Emerg after a heroin overdose that nearly killed him. He was at rock bottom. Did I feel like an incredible SHIT? GOD YES. But ultimately, it saved his life. If I had continued to take care of him and pay his bills, he'd be dead by now.
Sometimes letting go and making them swim by themselves is the BEST and ONLY thing you can do. We are friends now and celebrate our divorce every year together. Hang in there, but DON'T jump into the water. Nobody will win.
Nice to meet you, btw. I hope this wasn't rude or hurtful to you. I meant to help.
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2005
- Posts
- 12,715
My brother recently confided to me that he has a sexually submissive side. That shocked the hell out of me. I don't know what shocked me more, though. That we were having that conversation to begin with ... or that he enjoys being submissive in the bedroom.Sir_Winston54 said:
neonflux
Out and about...
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2005
- Posts
- 4,233
Callinectes, it doesn't seem to me that a butt kick is in order at all (unless, of course, you are in the mood for that sort of thing for another reason, lol). Joking aside, I think that a divorce or separation is just a difficult on the person who leaves as it is on the person who is left. If you didn't feel this way, you wouldn't be the caring person you are. I am definitely with Zusub on this one. As someone who has gone through something similar with friends, sometimes the best thing we can do for someone is allow them to hit rock bottom. And that's often the hardest thing to watch, even when it's best for both parties. Not toxic, just human. Please, stand firm and at the same time be gentle with yourself now... *hugs*callinectes said:I need my butt kicked. And not in a good way. I am not responsible for aother adult's behavior and failure to manage his own life. So why do I feel so bad and guilty for getting on with my own life while his spirals out of control? Had I not left him he would still be hanging on. I would be miserable but he would be sort of okay. Somewhere in my sick brain that would be easier to deal with. Talk about toxic.
Divorce sucks, even when it is a good thing.
Neon
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2005
- Posts
- 29,460
I have to concur with y'all about the protecting yourself thang. That's what you are required to do, take care of yourself. I have toxic relatives.
After spending some phone time with them yesterday and today, I'm in full duck and cover mode. Otherwise I will get angry, turn the anger inside and get depressed because they are so fucking stupid and bitchy.
This is why caller ID and answering machines are so useful.
I feel for them. I mean it must be horrible to be so miserable and in a state of high drama ALL the damn time but I will survive. That's what I do.
They will continue to be miserable. That's what they do. It's sad, irritating and stupid.
After spending some phone time with them yesterday and today, I'm in full duck and cover mode. Otherwise I will get angry, turn the anger inside and get depressed because they are so fucking stupid and bitchy.
This is why caller ID and answering machines are so useful.
I feel for them. I mean it must be horrible to be so miserable and in a state of high drama ALL the damn time but I will survive. That's what I do.
They will continue to be miserable. That's what they do. It's sad, irritating and stupid.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
This reminds me a bit of the situation with my sister and her boyfriend. She kicked him out cause he's a lazy drunk who treats her kids like crap. Was he like this when they first got together? No. He was still a drunk but he didn't treat her kids like crap and he had a job. She blames herself for his suicide, just like you blame yourself for your ex getting worse. You're no more to blame than she is. He's an adult he has to take responsibility for his own actions, just like you do.
callinectes
yep
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2006
- Posts
- 1,286
Thanks everyone for your wise words. They are truly appreciated.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Our first responsibility is to children, if we have them. Next is to ourselves. We want to help others when they falter, when they're tossed upon the waves, so to speak, but we cannot do that by, as Zuzub said, jumping into the water with them and allowing them to destroy us both. We throw them a lifeline, a buoy, a board - and if they refuse to grasp it and hang on, that's not our fault - it's theirs. Still, as you say, we do tend to feel bad about having survived our own storms when we see others floundering, and our instinctive reaction is to try to help them survive theirs. We simply must remember to do that - to try to help them - in a way that will not drag us to the depths with them. If they won't seize the opportunity we give them, it's painful, but sacrificing ourselves is not the answer to their salvation - it's just a waste of two lives instead of one.callinectes said:I need my butt kicked. And not in a good way. I am not responsible for aother adult's behavior and failure to manage his own life. So why do I feel so bad and guilty for getting on with my own life while his spirals out of control? Had I not left him he would still be hanging on. I would be miserable but he would be sort of okay. Somewhere in my sick brain that would be easier to deal with. Talk about toxic.
Divorce sucks, even when it is a good thing.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Living in Tampa w/ my third wife, 26 years younger than I. Second wife met her one day, and with #2 and I standing about 20 feet from #3, #2 said to me (quietly), "Cradle robber!" #3 heard her and said, "Nope - he's not a cradle robber - I'm a Craftmatic Adjustable Bed robber!"coyone said:
Even #2, notorious for her lack of a sense of humor, had to laugh.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Thanks - I taught her (#3) everything she knew.coyone said:
