How NOT to Get Lit Laid- A Parody Thread

[AtramentousRex]

7. Always be sure to be sickeningly sweet to every female or female presenting person you cum across. Shore up their self esteem like a master brick layer building the new Great Wall. Brick. By. Brick. You build that confidence and ALWAYS tell her how beautiful she is, no matter how nasty that pic look. LIE LIKE THE DEVIL SPAWNED YOU!!! Always defend her with your greatest might against all possible perceived threats! NONE SHALL DISAGREE!

 

[SpicyBean99]

7. Always be sure to be sickeningly sweet to every female or female presenting person you cum across. Shore up their self esteem like a master brick layer building the new Great Wall. Brick. By. Brick. You build that confidence and ALWAYS tell her how beautiful she is, no matter how nasty that pic look. LIE LIKE THE DEVIL SPAWNED YOU!!! Always defend her with your greatest might against all possible perceived threats! NONE SHALL DISAGREE!

There are some here that embody this entirely and they’re not attempting to be satire.


*heaves into bucket

 

[Londonguy69]

Talk down to me. You don't really need any of the others if you can do that.

I’m working on being less condescending (Condescending means talking down to people)

 

[AsianFusion]

I’m working on being less condescending (Condescending means talking down to people)

Very good

 

[Londonguy69]

Very good

I can’t take credit, found it online just a few days ago

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Even I have committed a blunder or two that have led to dry seasons

Call the wrong man Daddy and oops, bye bye

Call the right man Daddy and he’ll never leave you alone

Goldilocks and the three Bear…errr Daddies

 

[~Elizabeth~]

8. Always lead off by sending skeezy fantasies that make a girl feel the immediate need for a shower just reading it. After she’s hurled of course!

 

[Qky75]

One area we haven't covered much of are the amazing examples of skin infections the human body can experience. Nothing screams "look at me!" quite like some colorful and often odiferous discharges.

Discussing how intimate mutual pimple popping can be as a means to bond is just another example - especially those beautiful zits that make an audible pop as it squirts into your partner's eye...

I just came at the use of odiferous

 

[Qky75]

There are some here that embody this entirely and they’re not attempting to be satire.


*heaves into bucket

Me. . She means me.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Always tell women that they remind you of your mother ..then lick your lips.

 

[MindYaBitness]

9. If you want her to cum immediately, start the conversation by letting her know what a super manly Dom you are. Demonstrate this by your first message being your doctoral dissertation of your thorough knowledge of abuse and degradation, and absolute lack of understanding the responsibility that comes with it. Bonus points if you've never interacted publicly with her and just assume she wants any old wanker who happened upon her pics to be her Dom

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Always tell women that they remind you of your mother ..then lick your lips.

That is a straight get the fuck outta here nopers

 

[AtramentousRex]

9. If you want her to cum immediately, start the conversation by letting her know what a super manly Dom you are. Demonstrate this by your first message being your doctoral dissertation of your thorough knowledge of abuse and degradation, and absolute lack of understanding the responsibility that comes with it. Bonus points if you've never interacted publicly with her and just assume she wants any old wanker who happened upon her pics to be her Dom

No no not just any old wanker. But you will want him desperately, because he is a true Alpha Male and all females yearn to submit instinctively to Natural Dominants such as He.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

9. If you want her to cum immediately, start the conversation by letting her know what a super manly Dom you are. Demonstrate this by your first message being your doctoral dissertation of your thorough knowledge of abuse and degradation, and absolute lack of understanding the responsibility that comes with it. Bonus points if you've never interacted publicly with her and just assume she wants any old wanker who happened upon her pics to be her Dom

Hey, how did you know that happened? I never told a soul about that.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Want to get her panties off quickly? Tell her about your favorite Pokemon.

 

[lavendersilk]

Want to get her panties off quickly? Tell her about your favorite Pokemon, Unown.

FIFY

 

[MindYaBitness]

Want to get her panties off quickly? Tell her about your favorite Pokemon.

Charizard, hands down!

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Charizard, hands down!

I think I'm in love

 

[MindYaBitness]

Hey, how did you know that happened? I never told a soul about that.

Lucky guess... not at all because these alphas like to just copy-paste their bullshit & inbox anyone they see online

 

[barefootgirl69]

9. If you want her to cum immediately, start the conversation by letting her know what a super manly Dom you are. Demonstrate this by your first message being your doctoral dissertation of your thorough knowledge of abuse and degradation, and absolute lack of understanding the responsibility that comes with it. Bonus points if you've never interacted publicly with her and just assume she wants any old wanker who happened upon her pics to be her Dom

And sign it "Sir" - works every time.

 

[Jaws82]

Charizard, hands down!

Not squirtle??

Eh yooooo

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

Fuck, I love this thread. You made my shitty day turn positive. If only a true Dom was here to put me in my place. I'd be happy to pop his back pimples.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Fuck, I love this thread. You made my shitty day turn positive. If only a true Dom was here to put me in my place. I'd be happy to pop his back pimples.

Your inbox is going to get filled!

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

Your inbox is going to get filled!

I mean is that why I'm here? To get my box filled?

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I mean is that why I'm here? To get my box filled?

View attachment 2559357

Doesn't insta have selfie filters?