Sex & Shenanigans

[deefalttwunnyfor]

https://www.npr.org/2008/07/02/92126411/the-twisted-journey-of-napoleons-privates

My first thought was 'I hope when I die that people care about my junk like 1/1000 as much as his.'
Then I read this:
"It was like a little baby's finger," he says.
And I snorted I was laughing so hard

 

[MindYaBitness]

I bet he had a respectable 3.75" like most people expect and is the absolute maximum that a woman can handle as my ex related to me numerous times.

Uh, 8 inches is too much but guys seem obsessed with that number. However, 3.75, not saying it's not respectable, work with what you've got. However, that's a pretty shallow vag. I think my obgyn doc's speculum is longer than that!

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

Uh, 8 inches is too much but guys seem obsessed with that number. However, 3.75, not saying it's not respectable, work with what you've got. However, that's a pretty shallow vag. I think my obgyn doc's speculum is longer than that!

^#sizequeen^

 

[MissRadiant]

^#sizequeen^

What girl isn't?
(I'll admit i am too)

 

[__Nathan1968]

My first thought was 'I hope when I die that people care about my junk like 1/1000 as much as his.'
Then I read this:
"It was like a little baby's finger," he says.
And I snorted I was laughing so hard

 

[MindYaBitness]

^#sizequeen^

Uh huh, that's me 100%, and I just love it when guys who are hung put zero effort into their pics because they mistake their dick for a personality

 

[__Nathan1968]

I just hope I die with a raging hard-on, while wearing a tight cock ring to ensure that in 200 years they describe me as being akin to a baby’s forearm.

 

[MindYaBitness]

View attachment 2424514

Listen here, Boney, it must've been a pool in the arctic to get that measurement!

 

[Apisto42]

Uh huh, that's me 100%, and I just love it when guys who are hung put zero effort into their pics because they mistake their dick for a personality

My cock’s personality is its own thing. Who am I to tell it how to be in a photo?

 

[MindYaBitness]

I just hope I die with a raging hard-on, while wearing a tight cock ring to ensure that in 200 years they describe me as being akin to a baby’s forearm.

Um, who gonna tell him...

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

Uh huh, that's me 100%, and I just love it when guys who are hung put zero effort into their pics because they mistake their dick for a personality

Hahaha! Ohhh man, I feel so bad for the guy she's alluding to. What a wanker (olympics edition bronze medal) plz vote for WotY, y'all

 

[MissRadiant]

Uh huh, that's me 100%, and I just love it when guys who are hung put zero effort into their pics because they mistake their dick for a personality

This is what runs through my mind every freaking time.

 

[MindYaBitness]

My cock’s personality is its own thing. Who am I to tell it how to be in a photo?

I love that your pants pistol has it's own personality. Does it have a name? Does it talk to you as well? Is it talking right now?

*quietly backs out of the room to grab a straight jacket*

 

[TXRafe]

i feel attacked... its called being a grower...at times i am lucky to have an inch...its like having a turtle between your legs...but when its go time its respectably above the national average...

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

Um, who gonna tell him...

I'm 100% certain that the second he passes, they'll immediately create a mold of the most glorious erection society has ever beheld. I know this, because I added that to my will a few months ago

 

[Qky75]

Uh huh, that's me 100%, and I just love it when guys who are hung put zero effort into their pics because they mistake their dick for a personality

Thanks. Now I know what they're really saying when they omg you have the biggest personality...dammitdammit dammit

 

[MindYaBitness]

Hahaha! Ohhh man, I feel so bad for the guy she's alluding to. What a wanker (olympics edition bronze medal) plz vote for WotY, y'all

Unless you shared a pic with zero effort and/or a drink bottle in frame, you're pretty safe

 

[Deadfreak]

i feel attacked... its called being a grower...at times i am lucky to have an inch...its like having a turtle between your legs...but when its go time its respectably above the national average...

Winter trying to dig it out to pee I swear it trys to go inside out

 

[TXRafe]

Unless you shared a pic with zero effort and/or a drink bottle in frame, you're pretty safe

isnt the drink bottle for scale? girl you don't know how big my hands are

 

[__Nathan1968]

Unless you shared a pic with zero effort and/or a drink bottle in frame, you're pretty safe

There’s at least SOME effort just in hitting send.

 

[Qky75]

Unless you shared a pic with zero effort and/or a drink bottle in frame, you're pretty safe

It was a soft white blanket with a very interesting textured pattern for fucks sake!?!? I'm still hemorrhaging

 

[TXRafe]

Winter trying to dig it out to pee I swear it trys to go inside out

facts though, facts

 

[Apisto42]

I love that you pants pistol has it's own personality. Does it have a name? Does it talk to you as well? Is it talking right now?

*quietly backs out of the room to grab a straight jacket*

It gets turned on by things that I’ve never thought of…

And by people that I actually dislike, but it’s like, “hey, that’s a great ass dude.”

I usually tell it to shut up, but it gets a bit surly every now and then.

Hey, what’s with the two big dudes in white coats holding the straps? I’m fine. No need to do …

 

[MindYaBitness]

i feel attacked... its called being a grower...at times i am lucky to have an inch...its like having a turtle between your legs...but when its go time its respectably above the national average...

Ah, now I'm understanding why guys keep their dick pics on their phone: it's like a dick resume. "No, babe, I swear, it gets better. Here's a pic with references. See that one chick, she gave it 4 stars and a "would ride again" Yelp review!"

 

[__Nathan1968]

Winter trying to dig it out to pee I swear it trys to go inside out

No shame in sitting. Let out a fart for cover.