Cock Talk

But the vampire is dead. I always assumed the blood is what gives them the energy to move about and “survive”, at the same time I believe their body functions, well . . . don’t function—meaning their swimmers ain’t swimmin’
Ah, but apparently they sometimes can regain some of their functions when they've just fed. So it's a bit like the joke about the panda and the commas: the vampire eats, shoots, and leaves.
It’s almost like the whole thing doesn’t make any sense!
Isn't it? But this is Lit. You get used to things not making sense. It comes with the territory.
 
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So it's a bit like the joke about the panda and the commas: the vampire eats, shoots, and leaves.
Wait. But isn't this version of the panda and the commas joke used to display inaccurate comma usage? So wouldn't that make the whole male vampires regaining function from feeding Fake News?

:p


*It may be that I have a copy of this particular book. 😂
 
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Just finished Jack’n it.
https://64.media.tumblr.com/cbbb255d1fb3054870488ccc688f4ee3/49f99611ffae22c5-5d/s400x600/32de5a37f6feaee1c323a7b6ef3967e72cd3fe9c.jpg
I mean Jack-O-Lanterning, you pervs.

But I honestly have to say I started to wonder if this might not make a good lube.

So Cock Talk Pop Quiz:

Have you ever used pumpkin guts as jerk off lube?
Now that you have, are you going to give it a try?
Why not?
Absolutely not. Pumpkins and Hallowe’en don’t have quite the hold on the national psyche over here. But then you lot don’t have Guy Fawkes night, so swings and roundabouts, innit.
 
Just finished Jack’n it.
https://64.media.tumblr.com/cbbb255d1fb3054870488ccc688f4ee3/49f99611ffae22c5-5d/s400x600/32de5a37f6feaee1c323a7b6ef3967e72cd3fe9c.jpg
I mean Jack-O-Lanterning, you pervs.

But I honestly have to say I started to wonder if this might not make a good lube.

So Cock Talk Pop Quiz:

Have you ever used pumpkin guts as jerk off lube?
Now that you have, are you going to give it a try?
Why not?
Have you ever used pumpkin guts as jerk off lube? Can honestly say the thought has never gotten close to my mind :ROFLMAO:
Now that you have, are you going to give it a try? Nah, I think I'm fine.
Why not?
My PC has always served as just fine in a natural sense and if I'm feeling frisky, lotion does just the trick. I appreciate you thinking outside the pumpkin, err the box rather.
 
Just finished Jack’n it.
https://64.media.tumblr.com/cbbb255d1fb3054870488ccc688f4ee3/49f99611ffae22c5-5d/s400x600/32de5a37f6feaee1c323a7b6ef3967e72cd3fe9c.jpg
I mean Jack-O-Lanterning, you pervs.

But I honestly have to say I started to wonder if this might not make a good lube.

So Cock Talk Pop Quiz:

Have you ever used pumpkin guts as jerk off lube?
Now that you have, are you going to give it a try?
Why not?
Wtf. Dude, is everything all right at home?
 
TFW you’ve been so busy you didn’t realize you completely missed notifications from one of your favorite threads until they stopped occurring 🤦‍♀️

I’ll probably be catching up for days 😂

In fairness, I actually pace a lot when I'm on the phone as well. The walking and movement seems to focus and settle my brain.
I pace on work phone calls all the time. It’s one of the things that frustrates me most when I’m in the office and have a tough problem to solve.

There's this concept of shoulder to shoulder communication as opposed to face to face communication. It's much easier to talk about hard things when shoulder to shoulder.
Yes! At one point I took over a development team who weren’t used to talking, much less out loud to a woman. So I started walking 1-1s. It didn’t matter where - around the neighborhood, to get coffee, to the park to sit on the benches and watch people. It was surprisingly effective.

Also, the conversation about opening up my relationship took place walking and on the swings at a park.

Work on yourself. Don't wait for someone else to change. Stay in your lane, acknowledge your shit and get better and hotter.
💯 I couldn’t agree more. I’m not against sharing thoughtful feedback with someone I love about things that might not be aware of when it comes to their behavior, but mostly I have plenty of my own shit I can focus on. That’s what I can control/impact the most and where my energy is most effective.

If all else fails, offer to show them your dick. (Don't just flop it out) you might get a smile. Worked for me this week.
You can see my dick any time! 😘
 
It was PMann that was talking about posthumous wanks
I . . . am not even sure what to do with this. 😂
@Endless_Night you would have not appreciated the lengthy discussion @Lord Pmann and I had about the most awkward number of women to fuck. It ended in a stalemate with us both agreeing it was less than one, but we disagree if it’s 1/4 or 1/2 a woman that is most awkward to fuck. I’ll let your brain run wild with the arguments for and against each standpoint 🤭
 
@Endless_Night you would have not appreciated the lengthy discussion @Lord Pmann and I had about the most awkward number of women to fuck. It ended in a stalemate with us both agreeing it was less than one, but we disagree if it’s 1/4 or 1/2 a woman that is most awkward to fuck. I’ll let your brain run wild with the arguments for and against each standpoint 🤭

Let’s clarify, a little, as I don’t want it to seem like a weird conversation. The discussion was about, if I was in a bed and there was another guy in the bed with me, how many women do you need to make it not awkward.

The discussion originally started off by saying 0 women was the most awkward and as the number of women increased linearly, the level of awkwardness decreased exponentially.

Mathematically is would be:

a = 1/(n^2 + .0001)

a = awkwardness
n = number of women (where n is an integer)

However, I then realized that there is a much more awkward situation where n is somewhere between 0 and 1. Me, another guy and somewhere between 1/4 to 1/2 is the most awkward situation.

It’s a good discussion for Halloween time.
 
Hang on

*Whips out a napkin for this important maths discussion*

Which one is it? I want to follow your parenthesis literally, but me thinks you meant the top equation??

I can't believe this is what lit has come to...

https://i.ibb.co/7jzJ8Z6/PXL-20241027-211824699-3.jpg

It’s the second one. It cannot be the first one, because if there are no women and n=0, then the awkwardness is undefined, as you cannot divide by 0. I assure you, the awkwardness for me with just me and another guy in a bed was considered maximum.

a = 1/0 is not a defined expression.

The .001 is just used as a constant K to keep that number from being zero.

However, that was before I considered the awkwardness of a non-integer woman. I have not developed a new equation for this scenario.


I’m totally comfortable with people thinking I have weird conversations :D

Maybe you don’t, but I have a reputation to uphold.
 
It ended in a stalemate with us both agreeing it was less than one, but we disagree if it’s 1/4 or 1/2 a woman that is most awkward to fuck. I’ll let your brain run wild with the arguments for and against each standpoint 🤭
:oops:

Let’s clarify, a little -
Never before have I been grateful for a Pmann board elucidation. However, this explanation was less disturbing than what I was picturing.

I mean, marginally.

- as I don’t want it to seem like a weird conversation.
Too late.

I’m totally comfortable with people thinking I have weird conversations :D
Ha ha. *laughs nervously*

Maybe you don’t, but I have a reputation to uphold.
. . . . . . . . .


* * *

Yikes! Step away from the board for a few hours!!!
 
However, this explanation was less disturbing than what I was picturing.
I, too, pictured fairly disturbing things. Like top halves and bottom halves and even quarters. 🤣

Now, as a Math Moron, I have no idea how to read algebra shit, but the correct answer (without math) is one.

One full woman between two guys is perfectly acceptable.

If it’s only her top half their dicks might touch and if it’s only her bottom half their lips might touch. But if she’s a full woman then one guy gets anal and the other vaginal and everyone is happy. One guy might get her hair in his mouth, but these are the risks we take.

You guys make everything so complicated with your math nonsense. 🤷‍♂️
 
I, too, pictured fairly disturbing things. Like top halves and bottom halves and even quarters. 🤣
I was steeling myself to ask who was holding out for the quarter, so I could put them on my *never be alone with them in a thread* list. Which I would start, just for them.

Then I saw we were talking equations.

T
h
e.

R
e
l
i
e
f.

*thunk*
 
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