Red Flags

[TheRedChamber]

Something I've been working on this morning has gotten me thinking about 'red flags'.

It's a simple piece, with a simple premise - 'older guy teaches younger woman to be a sex goddess' - (I know, I know, not, on the face of it, the most original concept on Lit). I'm going for immediacy so have written 2k words of setup and am now ready to write chapter two on the first lesson.

Rereading the first draft though, I can't help but think 'well, if I were her, I wouldn't' - Too many controlling rules, for example. And those rules will be important once the series gets under way.

That said, I'm not her. She's young, inexperienced, and with a long-standing crush on the male MC. So she could reasonably do all kinds of dumb stuff.

Still, as a general rule I'd like my readers to be thinking 'mmm, yes' rather than 'hell, no' (or, echoing a recent thread, at least not have my male readers thinking 'mmm, manipulatable')

I'm probably going to need a second pass at this regardless, but in the meantime, I'm interesting in how people view 'red flags' both in their own stories and when reading other's.

 

[TheLobster]

Any 'red flag' that isn't some kind of sexual squick that should be mentioned upfront in the tags is between the author and the reader to negotiate.

The author has to try their best to avoid the feature in question to be labeled as such by readers, by providing enough justification for the suspension of disbelief to kick in. In your case, for example the long-standing crush on the male MC could be better portrayed, both in breadth and depth, to make it more plausible that FMC would subject herself to his rules and whims. (Incidentally, this is one of the main reasons why my most recent story, which is basically on this theme too, is over 30k words).

The reader, on the other hand, has to be open-minded enough to accept said justifications. You won't hit that threshold for every reader, of course, but if you do have idea about your potential audience in general (and care about appealing to it), you might want to think how it would be received by those readers in particular.

 

[Bazzle]

Totally understand @TheRedChamber

With this story https://www.literotica.com/s/keep-rehearsing-and-keep-performing

Its a similar issue. Why is she staying with him, run.

But I think by tying the addiction to cigarettes to him, she is sort of stuck?

But yes Red Flags everwhere!

 

[StillStunned]

Reality doesn't make sense, so why should fiction? We like to tie neat bows of logic around everything, but life sometimes doesn't work that way. I've known people in abusive relationships - men and women - and even situations where the abuse continued even after the relationship ended. To an outsider, it's frustrating that they're blind to what's being done to them, or at the very least that they think whatever they're getting from the situation is worth it.

If you're writing 1P or close 3P, I suppose you'd have to make the character justify it to themselves. Otherwise, it doesn't need to make any sense. Although perhaps as a writer you should acknowledge it, for example by having a friend remark how bad it is.

 

[Rob_Royale]

It's an interesting idea, but I would proceed in a way where the red flags aren't obvious at the outset.

I imagine a Professor Higgins/Eliza Dolittle situation like in My Fair Lady. She's a young diamond in the rough from the country and she ends up with him for X reasons. He begins to teach her how to appear graceful and cultured and enchanting. He buys her clothes and makeup, gets her hair done and before long she's a stunning goddess.

She walks out of her room one evening just beaming after having so many people ask about her at a dinner party and she's surprised when she finds her benefactor standing in the library. He's holding a pair of leather restraints. "It's time for your next lesson, sweetheart."

By the time the first red flag appears both the reader and Eliza are in too far to back out.

 

[AlinaX]

Well, for that story, I imagine the restraints come out much earlier in the story.

"Posture, Eliza," the professor said, "is half of everything. I will teach you to talk like a lady, but my dear friend the Colonel here will have the unenviable task of teaching you to walk like a lady. By the time he's through, you'll wonder how you ever lived without corsetry and lace. And I warn you: Neither of us will tolerate neglect of your studies. Sometimes a horse must be whipped to urge it to its destination, and neither will we spare the crop with you!"

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Well, for that story, I imagine the restraints come out much earlier in the story.

"Posture, Eliza," the professor said, "is half of everything. I will teach you to talk like a lady, but my dear friend the Colonel here will have the unenviable task of teaching you to walk like a lady. By the time he's through, you'll wonder how you ever lived without corsetry and lace. And I warn you: Neither of us will tolerate neglect of your studies. Sometimes a horse must be whipped to urge it to its destination, and neither will we spare the crop with you!"

My Fair Lady crossed with Secretary? I think there's a potential audience there!

 

[Erozetta]

My Fair Lady crossed with Secretary? I think there's a potential audience there!

I would absolutely read that.

 

[Rob_Royale]

My Fair Lady crossed with Secretary? I think there's a potential audience there!

It made my blood pressure spike, that's for sure.