Cock Talk

[Endless_Night]

The problem, of course, is that people hear and think what they want to even when you flat out tell them the opposite is true.

Thank you for calling attention to this again, @lavendersilk.

This is so true. People never believe what you tell them. Like, ever. You can tell them twenty-five ways from Sunday and standing on your head. Nope.

Are they hoping? Not listening? Projecting?

That last possibility always makes me suss.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

We like what we like. You don't have to put a stamp on it. There is so much out there to choose from.

Yea I think it can be as simple as we like what we like.

But I think it also gets a little wild when you try to figure it out. A lot of what I like isn't super logical.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Yea I think it can be as simple as we like what we like.

But I think it also gets a little wild when you try to figure it out. A lot of what I like isn't super logical.

But that's ok. And should be OK to anyone.

 

[Endless_Night]

I'll take a crack at it... So male on male action isn't my go to fantasy. Its not something that really does much for me other than I like the idea of a partner who doesn't have a lot of inhibitions and would try anything.

I can't pinpoint why it's not sexy to me. I can think of some theories but I have no idea what is really working in my head to not make it a big turn on.

This.

It is so interesting to me that the thought of two men getting it on is less sexy to me than two women together because in general I'm more attracted to men.

This, also. I'm not attracted to women sexually, but two women is more appealing than two men. I do sometimes find women pretty, and can find them visually appealing . . . but men are also physically appealing, so . . . yeah, no idea what's going on.

So maybe the attractiveness of men to me might depend on the interaction of men with women. It might also be that Im self centered and scenarios that do not involve my gender are less of a turn on because it is harder to feel/ imagine myself as part of the action.

This is inspired. I will be giving it more thought.

 

[justanotherguy80]

Yea I think it can be as simple as we like what we like.

But I think it also gets a little wild when you try to figure it out. A lot of what I like isn't super logical.

There’s almost certainly some psychological explanation behind certain parts of our sexuality and desires.

I think provided those desires aren’t things that you’re uncomfortable or unhappy about, it’s best to just leave them well alone.

When I’m horny and turned on by something, I want to enjoy that moment and feeling. I don’t want Freud on my shoulder analysing my perversions

 

[lavendersilk]

There’s almost certainly some psychological explanation behind certain parts of our sexuality and desires.

I think provided those desires aren’t things that you’re uncomfortable or unhappy about, it’s best to just leave them well alone.

When I’m horny and turned on by sometime, I want to enjoy that moment and feeling. I don’t want Freud on my shoulder analysing my perversions

Do Legos turn you on?

 

[justanotherguy80]

Do Legos turn you on?

I did get a semi when I saw the new Jaws set.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Do Legos turn you on?

Are you kink shaming?

I did get a semi when I saw the new Jaws set.

As you should, good sir

 

[Azuldrgon]

This week's topic was a deep one.
And I attempted to answer the questions, but it became difficult.

Thing is everyone is different. We're wired differently. We have our own preferences.
We shouldn't judge based on it, but some do for whatever reason.
I'm not into guy on guy, but it's not fair to anyone else for shaming someone who is.
Just not my thing.

 

[hotoldrguy]

This week's topic was a deep one.
And I attempted to answer the questions, but it became difficult.

Thing is everyone is different. We're wired differently. We have our own preferences.
We shouldn't judge based on it, but some do for whatever reason.
I'm not into guy on guy, but it's not fair to anyone else for shaming someone who is.
Just not my thing.

We all do have our on likes and dislikes. One of the things I love about this thread is that everyone can be open and honest about their feelings and desires without being shamed or judged.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I don’t want Freud on my shoulder analysing my perversions

But can I do it?

I think as long as it doesn't hurt either people, we should just accept and go with whatever turns us on. But the why is something interesting to ponder about when not in the moment.

Just like pondering about how much money is enough for you to give that blowjob and if it's something we can crowd source to make it happen

 

[justanotherguy80]

But can I do it?

You don’t want to go there. Trust me.

Just like pondering about how much money is enough for you to give that blowjob and if it's something we can crowd source to make it happen

You’re going to need to find some deep-pocketed benefactors for that. We’re talking about the sort of money that would mean I never had to work again. Not just enough for a nice steak supper.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I don’t want Freud on my shoulder analysing my perversions

Some people are into that kink.

This week's topic was a deep one.
And I attempted to answer the questions, but it became difficult.

Thing is everyone is different. We're wired differently. We have our own preferences.
We shouldn't judge based on it, but some do for whatever reason.
I'm not into guy on guy, but it's not fair to anyone else for shaming someone who is.
Just not my thing.

Yeah, I tried to word it so we didn’t go down the shaming, judging path. That stuff doesn’t interest me.

I’m more fascinated by the why of it. Basically what @OrdinaryPerson was talking about. That complexity of why people feel the way they do, more than is it judgmental, etc.

But thanks for trying!

One of the things I love about this thread is that everyone can be open and honest about their feelings and desires without being shamed or judged.

What the hell is that supposed to mean!

Not just enough for a nice steak supper.

Why would you need a steak dinner when you just ate sausage?

 

[justanotherguy80]

Why would you need a steak dinner when you just ate sausage?

Sometimes the full mixed grill is required.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Curiouser and curiouser . . .
https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma5kumLiTO1qd2wajo1_640.jpg

There are a lot of guys (straightish even) who fantasize about sucking on a cock. More than I ever thought there would be. These are guys who (apparently) aren’t really bi, who only want a relationship with a woman, but still wonder about cock.

We can also say that a lot of these guys are in relationships with women who are not at all into it.
(Based on intense research )


We’re gonna split this one up into two categories:

Ladies:
Has your male partner ever admitted to sucking a cock or being curious about it?
How would (or did) you feel if he did?
Are you aroused by guy on guy action, but don’t want your guy involved in it?
Would you like to see your partner with a cock in his mouth?
Why does it seem like most women don’t want guy on guy?
If in a ‘two guys and a girl’ threesome, do you only want the guys paying attention to you, or are you interested in seeing them plow each other too? (And none of that “whatever makes us all happy” garbage. I’m asking what you and only you want. )
If your guy wanted cock, would you overthink yourself to death wondering all kinds of stuff, or would you be happy that you have a guy who is comfortable enough with you to be open?

Guys:
Have you ever sucked a cock? If so, what was the circumstance?
Do you want to blow a dick, or ever at least considered it?
Do you trust your partner enough to talk to her about it, or will it be a deal crusher?
Do you feel the same about sucking a dick today as when you were (let’s say) in your twenties?
Is your desire to suck a dick out of pure curiosity, or do you want to do it with your partner?
Have you ever sucked, or tried to suck, your own cock?
How sexually open minded are you, in your opinion? What would others say?

What do you want to know about guy on guy?

(I fully suspect the “Guys” portion of this to go mostly unanswered )

Ladies:
Has your male partner ever admitted to sucking a cock or being curious about it?
No, he's not homophonic by any means, a d back in the day he was propositioned quite a bit, but it's never really been an interest for him that I'm aware of.

How would (or did) you feel if he did?
Shocked would be an understatement

Are you aroused by guy on guy action, but don’t want your guy involved in it?
I have seen guy-on-guy that I found sensual & erotica. I think largely because no one is being objectified. It's so different from straight porn. It's not my go-to pornhub category, but I get the appeal.

Would you like to see your partner with a cock in his mouth?
No, not a fantasy of mine. The vision doesn't really do anything for me

Why does it seem like most women don’t want guy on guy?
I don't have a great explanation other than preference

If in a ‘two guys and a girl’ threesome, do you only want the guys paying attention to you, or are you interested in seeing them plow each other too? (And none of that “whatever makes us all happy” garbage. I’m asking what you and only you want. )

I'm unsure. I think two men, like two women, would intrinsically know what the other will like, only on account of having the same body type. I'd be afraid that I'd be ignored, or worse, just a tool, a means to an end rather than getting the anticipated erotica thrill of full participation.

Few enough guys care if their partners cum, or even enjoy sex (my fellow freaks on Lit excluded, of course) having two guys that are into eachother in a threesome would put me on edge. I'd need to be fairly well acquainted with both men, feel comfortable & safe to lower my inhibitions and let go. At the first sign of indifference I'd probably panic and bolt.

If your guy wanted cock, would you overthink yourself to death wondering all kinds of stuff, or would you be happy that you have a guy who is comfortable enough with you to be open?

My guy can barely bring himself to peek out of his missionary comfort zone. I don't know if I'd be ecstatic that he actually had fantasies rolling around that pretty head of his, or if I'd be terrified that none of those fantasies included me. I'm unlikely to ever be in that situation, but if I do, I'll return with a full report

 

[hotwords229_A]

A bi-guy friend surprised me once when he said an M/M/F threesome would interest him, butt a F/F/M would not. I was surprised. Personally, I don't think I've know a guy who did not find the idea of two females arousing. When asked why, he said: There's nothing there for me.

Strange that he would want the F in the MMF at all then.

scenarios that do not involve my gender are less of a turn on because it is harder to feel/ imagine myself as part of the action.

This is interesting. You may have something here.

 

[hotwords229_A]

My guy can barely bring himself to peek out of his missionary comfort zone. I don't know if I'd be ecstatic that he actually had fantasies rolling around that pretty head of his, or if I'd be terrified that none of those fantasies included me. I'm unlikely to ever be in that situation, but if I do, I'll return with a full report

But I assume if it was a turn on for you to see him blow a guy, and you knew he was hesitant, but willing to do it for you and with you, it would then be an amazing turn on?

 

[MindYaBitness]

But I assume if it was a turn on for you to see him blow a guy, and you knew he was hesitant, but willing to do it for you and with you, it would then be an amazing turn on?

Maybe? The thing is, I'm just enough of a sub, that I'm usually turned on by doing whatever is turning my partner on. If it wasn't a turn on for him, and I knew he wasn't enjoying it, then it would ruin the thrill of it for me. However, if this was a fantasy of his, and he could articulate how it was hot to him, I'm pretty sure I'd jump on board with the idea pretty quickly

 

[UnquietDreams]

I think this is all first date stuff. Actually, it’s before first date.

In a non sexual way, I tend to subvert people’s expectations of me. It seems most people consider me to be a nice guy, polite, kind, courteous, etc. then when they find out all the juicy stuff, my penchant for dark comedy, boldness and raw sexual desires they are usually shocked (hopefully in a good way).

I have come to realize this and so, when I meet someone new, I try to throw a little of all of that “dark and juicy” in right away so they can think this guy is not what he seems.

I think it would be great if a couple could sit down and share all their sexual proclivities right off the bat, so there are no (unpleasant) surprises and then maintain that honesty as things progress.

The problem, of course, is that people hear and think what they want to even when you flat out tell them the opposite is true.

Often, people who know me only in a public setting will say “Melvin . . .” (That’s not really my name, but we will pretend it is for the sake of this comment), they say, “Melvin, you’re a really nice guy, you never get upset about anything, do you?” To which I respond (in a monotone voice) “I live in a constant state of uncontrollable rage”. This always gets a laugh because they think I’m joking.

They think that.

I run into this because I am so different from one place to the next. If you meet me, or outside one specific venue, I am quite amiable. In the bedroom, with a woman who is interested in that, I am dominant, and can be very much so. As in "put my teeth to your neck and claim you as mine" dominant, if my partner is interested in submitting that way. But nowhere else.

I have a friend who is a dominatrix, professionally, and she is always in control.

 

[Wand3rlust]

This is what I mean though. Meeting people is hard enough. Unless you meet them through somewhere like here, or fetlife, or feeld or something, then how do you bring up the things that excite you without sometimes them running a mile?

I guess it depends on what is important to people.

My 'primary' relationship is over. I've had kids, and that's not what I look for now. As you get older what you look for, what you want is different.

This time IS all about me. And exploring.

And maybe it is selfish to want to be the f in a mfm rather than the f in a mmf, but... that's where I'm at.

Picking up on something @OrdinaryPerson said earlier... when I read the stories here. I DO put myself in the position of the guy, a LOT of the times. I imagine how worked up he is feeling, how turned on he gets, the feeling of touching a woman, and all the soft bits that go with that, and how good a hot wet pussy or arse would feel around a cock.

Everyone does that, right?

 

[morelikeasong]

Ladies:
Has your male partner ever admitted to sucking a cock or being curious about it?

He has barely admitted curiosity about anything. So, no.

How would (or did) you feel if he did?

I would be glad he was open about it and the wheels would start turning about how this might lead to some level of opening our marriage/sex life

Are you aroused by guy on guy action, but don’t want your guy involved in it?

I’m not super aroused by guy on guy. Though, I have been, so it’s not out of the question. My guy? Idk. It’s so hard for me to imagine.

Would you like to see your partner with a cock in his mouth?

No. This would not be a turn on to me. I understand that giving oral is not a submissive act in itself but the gut reaction I have to this question is that it would turn me off to see him being submissive in that way.

Why does it seem like most women don’t want guy on guy?

Hm, I think similar to what OP said. Hard for them to picture their participation maybe.

If in a ‘two guys and a girl’ threesome, do you only want the guys paying attention to you, or are you interested in seeing them plow each other too? (And none of that “whatever makes us all happy” garbage. I’m asking what you and only you want. )

I have a lot of threesome fantasies. My biggest ones are FFM or MFM where all the attention is on me. What can I say? I like attention .
That being said, with time I’ve started to get more flexible on this. I used to think I could only have one that way because of my own insecurities. Now I think I’d enjoy watching a little. So I think I could get down with watching them get it on.

If your guy wanted cock, would you overthink yourself to death wondering all kinds of stuff, or would you be happy that you have a guy who is comfortable enough with you to be open?

I’d definitely be happy that he was comfortable enough with me to be open. I haven’t managed to overthink myself to death yet, so I think I’d survive the situation but overthinking is just part of the package with me. I’d absolutely be wondering lots of things about if/how it had played a part in the issues with our sex life thus far. But if he was open to tell me that he was interested, hopefully he’d be open to discussing all that, too.

 

[hotwords229_A]

And maybe it is selfish to want to be the f in a mfm rather than the f in a mmf, but... that's where I'm at.

Nothing selfish about it. Everyone wants what they want and should feel free to ask for what they want.
As for how and when to bring it up, there is no right answer. But if they run when you ask, consider that you just dodged a bullet.

 

[lavendersilk]

Picking up on something @OrdinaryPerson said earlier... when I read the stories here. I DO put myself in the position of the guy, a LOT of the times. I imagine how worked up he is feeling, how turned on he gets, the feeling of touching a woman, and all the soft bits that go with that, and how good a hot wet pussy or arse would feel around a cock.

Everyone does that, right?

*nods*

 

[Deleted member 6810551]

And maybe it is selfish to want to be the f in a mfm rather than the f in a mmf, but... that's where I'm at.

Ummh! What's the difference between fmm, mfm, mmf?

I think I just worked it out, ha ha

 

[LadyLascivious1]

The problem, of course, is that people hear and think what they want to even when you flat out tell them the opposite is true.

I think most people who know me on a personal level offline probably wouldn’t be surprised by much. Work aside because I do keep things professional, all it would take is one family dinner or BBQ and someone would likely have a fair idea of my sexual, religious, and political leanings. That’s more about my sense of humor and what I would joke about than the specific conversation.

But people know it’s not just joking because I get 3am calls about sex toys gone wrong or anal sex questions

I like the idea of a partner who doesn't have a lot of inhibitions and would try anything.

I can't pinpoint why it's not sexy to me. I can think of some theories but I have no idea what is really working in my head to not make it a big turn on.

I fell into this camp for a long time. I didn’t overthink it. But then…

I accidentally bought a MM romance/erotica book. I remember being disappointed because it just wasn’t an interest of mine. I eventually read it. Fuck

I think the format as well as specific book have contributed greatly to what I enjoy most about MM. I’ve always found the written word more compelling than visual - a book can make me tear up when tv and movies aren’t capable of that. It allows my imagination to fill in a lot instead of telling me everything which probably engages subconscious preferences that I might not even be aware of. Then the plot itself was two masculine guys, one of which wasn’t into men and slowly opened up to the idea. I find that kind of situation extremely hot. The reluctance of things you’ve never been into, recognizing the situation is everything and there’s a possibility you just haven’t encountered those circumstances yet, and being open enough to acknowledge it if it happens. People being authentic in general and with their sexuality turns me on.

I think it was a Pandora’s box for me. Once I read that book and found it really turned me on, I knew the topic could be hot and found lots of other things in that genre that I also found hot. Had I tried to just imagine it or watch MM porn I doubt I would have left the “it’s not my thing” camp.

So maybe I do like it and just not when it involves my partner?

Oddly, I rarely think about my partner(s) in this scenario. It’s about me and what I would enjoy watching. Then again, I have a very voyeuristic kink so that part is not shocking

Would you like to see your partner with a cock in his mouth?

I’m not against it, but that probably isn’t the highest on my MM activities list. I’ve been considering why that is and I think it’s two things. One, there’s often not a lot to see or imagine with blow jobs. Many heads look alike and they block the view. Two, it’s a bit less boundary pushing. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a blow job?* But seeing another guy’s hands on you? Or their cock? There’s no mistaking what you’re doing and enjoying even if your head and body aren’t entirely agreed on it all.

*I know this is not universally true, but it’s rare and I’m exaggerating to make a point