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🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

Well how about this. We have quite an extensive list of noms this week. You've all wanked to the best of @Bry1313's abilities (yeah, really not great people). We had some name calling, nipples and noses, one completely unrealitied poster, a flash relationship/breakup, and the typical mudslinging. The sad truth is that only one of you can win this week's award.

@Wriggle for being emetic, drunk texting
@Whiskeyjack for continuing to brag
@Tigobitties98 for brain implantation, shooting hummus, thirst
@crazychemgirl for wank whinging, hummus, pulpy (but not pulpy hummus)
@LadyLascivious1 for book thievery, kazoo hate
@loveablebaby for harassment and harassment denial, directly being a wanker in this thread, crimes against grammar
@ToPleaseHim for not outing the extra crunch dip wick, being St. Patience, flirting instead of wanking, Cleveland sucks
@Shenanigans90 for crying
@OrdinaryPerson for getting stitches, fearing nipple to nose, dehydration, thirst, wankfusion
@NRJLIVES4ever for misunderstanding quote function, dangerous oral
@AmberLGreen for AWOL from wanking, making people Google
@LustfulIntentions2 for missing the slog
@ydahecnot for ejaculating while not wanking x 2, missing his sock, tagging fails
@__Nathan1968 for making shiny rocks
@Bry1313 thiefdom, lies (like that's not par), being dim (like that's not par), warning fail, toxic and ugly
@SalaciousMonkey22 for hot boner denial
@SmokingFap for discount coupons, 1/4, demeaning this prestigious award x 2
@InThe312 for being needy, small boobs, typing
@StillRain for cock blocking, connection blocking, pie blocking, passive aggressive blocking, happy soul blocking, relationship blocking, truth blocking
@jason28053 for pressing or blowing, but not know the difference
@Otis_Ravelli for not sharing his Googling
@aussiegeekygal for taking innocence
@barefootgirl69 for cunty aggression, premonition, country music
@RosewoodTulip for begging
@Kitty_so_frisky for nipple to nose jealousy, hoarding pics, teasing, subjugating this award, nipple to nose, wanker abuse
@Photog1rl for not thinking about noses and nipples, passive aggression
@UnquietDreams for thirst, Magpie hate
@TunnelKing089 for revisionist history, spoilers
@deefalttwunnyfor for standardized butthole
@Donotrustanybody (aka Pug Dick) for passive aggression, wowwing, stealing @InThe312's girl publicly and then tossing her aside, vagina cigars
 
AlottaFocina said:
Well how about this. We have quite an extensive list of noms this week. You've all wanked to the best of @Bry1313's abilities (yeah, really not great people). We had some name calling, nipples and noses, one completely unrealitied poster, a flash relationship/breakup, and the typical mudslinging. The sad truth is that only one of you can win this week's award.

@Wriggle for being emetic, drunk texting
@Whiskeyjack for continuing to brag
@Tigobitties98 for brain implantation, shooting hummus, thirst
@crazychemgirl for wank whinging, hummus, pulpy (but not pulpy hummus)
@LadyLascivious1 for book thievery, kazoo hate
@loveablebaby for harassment and harassment denial, directly being a wanker in this thread, crimes against grammar
@ToPleaseHim for not outing the extra crunch dip wick, being St. Patience, flirting instead of wanking, Cleveland sucks
@Shenanigans90 for crying
@OrdinaryPerson for getting stitches, fearing nipple to nose, dehydration, thirst, wankfusion
@NRJLIVES4ever for misunderstanding quote function, dangerous oral
@AmberLGreen for AWOL from wanking, making people Google
@LustfulIntentions2 for missing the slog
@ydahecnot for ejaculating while not wanking x 2, missing his sock, tagging fails
@__Nathan1968 for making shiny rocks
@Bry1313 thiefdom, lies (like that's not par), being dim (like that's not par), warning fail, toxic and ugly
@SalaciousMonkey22 for hot boner denial
@SmokingFap for discount coupons, 1/4, demeaning this prestigious award x 2
@InThe312 for being needy, small boobs, typing
@StillRain for cock blocking, connection blocking, pie blocking, passive aggressive blocking, happy soul blocking, relationship blocking, truth blocking
@jason28053 for pressing or blowing, but not know the difference
@Otis_Ravelli for not sharing his Googling
@aussiegeekygal for taking innocence
@barefootgirl69 for cunty aggression, premonition, country music
@RosewoodTulip for begging
@Kitty_so_frisky for nipple to nose jealousy, hoarding pics, teasing, subjugating this award, nipple to nose, wanker abuse
@Photog1rl for not thinking about noses and nipples, passive aggression
@UnquietDreams for thirst, Magpie hate
@TunnelKing089 for revisionist history, spoilers
@deefalttwunnyfor for standardized butthole
@Donotrustanybody (aka Pug Dick) for passive aggression, wowwing, stealing @InThe312's girl publicly and then tossing her aside, vagina cigars
Click to expand...
Holy fuck. My apologies @StillRain, my wanking on the boards has been so lame that I didn’t even make the list.

I promise to wank harder.
 
*bangs the gavel aggressively* Quiet in the courtroom.

*looks over to the jury box* Where the fuck is the jury? Damn it, I'm just going to have to do this myself. Kangaroo court indeed.



*clears throat* Subject to the rules of the Wanker of the Week (WotW, Inc. (TM)), I hereby declare that this week's award winner is











You didn't think you'd get off that easy did you?




















Hehe, I said get off easy in the wanker post. Hehe.


















This wanker definitely outwanked all of you this week. She posted her breakup and flamed her ex across the boards. She really wanked it when she brought her arguments to the Wanker of the Week and engaged in petty justification and outright unhingery.















*David Draiman voice* Do you feel that?














Oooooh Wah wah wah wank

Wanker of the week - 14 July Certificate.jpg
View attachment 2365451

Congratulations @loveablebaby. I hope you get many uses out of this prestigious award, because I'm pretty sure you scared everyone else off with your wankery.

I wonder if we'll get an acceptance speech.
 
Last edited:
Oh wow. An ACTUAL real life wanker won! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I mean I’m not saying you cunts aren’t wankers because that’d be downright lies, but this week’s is next level wankery if we ever did see it.

Congratulations @loveablebaby, you definitely worked hard for it. I suppose the one you really have to thank is, your ex playmate, though. Will you dedicate this win to him? 🫶🏻

Welcome to the arse end of the annals!
 
Wanker of the Week Annals
“There ain’t nowhere to go butt up.”

The recipients (so far) of this prestigious non-popularity, popularity prize as nominated by peers and voted on by a completely partial, non-biased but probably totally biased, randomly changing, always extraordinary and exquisitely discerning, hugely overworked panel of judge.

@Apisto42
@EvilJasmine
@Bry1313
@StillRain

~

@Lmizzler
@crazychemgirl
@OrdinaryPerson
@Wand3rlust
@AWonkyDonkey
@SalaciousMonkey22

~

@InThe312
@Wriggle
@Amanda330
@Taegul
@Mrtenant

~

@UnquietDreams
(Special Edition Darth Dick)
@AmberLGreen
@Tigobitties98
@ToPleaseHim
(Special Edition Glow Dick)

~

@Bry1313 @SalaciousMonkey22 & @Amanda330
(Special Edition Tri Dick Trophy)
@SirConradPeckereye

~

@aussiegeekygal
(Special Edition 4th July Dick Trophy)
@loveablebaby

👊🏻

Esteemed Panel of Judge (so far):

@StillRain
@Bry1313
@Wand3rlust
@InThe312
@StillRain
@AlottaFocina

👏🏻​
 
StillRain said:
Oh wow. An ACTUAL real life wanker won! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I mean I’m not saying you cunts aren’t wankers because that’d be downright lies, but this week’s is next level wankery if we ever did see it.

Congratulations @loveablebaby, you definitely worked hard for it. I suppose the one you really have to thank is, your ex playmate, though. Will you dedicate this win to him? 🫶🏻

Welcome to the arse end of the annals!
Click to expand...
I couldn't think of a better wanker to share the mantle with.

I also have NO IDEA who the fuck @loveablebaby is...
 
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