🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

[Lord Pmann]

Does that mean they are all @Lord Pmann 's bitches?

Aren't we all in a way?

I’m okay with this line of thinking.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Aren't we all in a way?

No, darling, absolutely not. I mean, if that's your kink, don't let us stand in your way. Just be sure to woo him with at least three other buddies. I heard he's into that

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

No, darling, absolutely not. I mean, if that's your kink, don't let us stand in your way. Just be sure to woo him with at least three other buddies. I heard he's into that

What in the GD hell are those birbs doing? Weirdest fucking game of leapfrog ever

 

[Amanda330]

Whoa, whoa, whoa what's with this 'first darlings' stuff?!?! Get in line, you two. Pmann and I have worked ardently over the course of like a decade to earn these titles. And by earn, I mean on a whim just changed it from 'guru'

Make me.

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

Make me.

I want to. What about a trade?

 

[Amanda330]

I want to. What about a trade?

What kind of trade? And why would I negotiate with you about what is already fact?

I'm a darling. Get used to it, babes.

 

[MindYaBitness]

What in the GD hell are those birbs doing? Weirdest fucking game of leapfrog ever

And yet, the Lady birds dig it. If leap frog guaranteed you pussy, don't lie to yourself, you'd be hopping every night!

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

I'm a darling. Get used to it, babes.

If leap frog guaranteed you pussy, don't lie to yourself, you'd be hopping every night!

I don't have any witty repartee or pithy rejoinder here. I agree completely

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

What kind of trade? And why would I negotiate with you about what is already fact?

I'm a darling. Get used to it, babes.

Fucking A you are. First darlings are all darling af.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Putting darling under your name makes you as darling as a goat scrote. Saying it up there doesn’t make it so.

It’s the signature where it counts.

I nominate all these darling poseurs for wanker of the week.

 

[Apisto42]

Nominating @Bry1313 for changing his AV. I’m a visual person and changing AVs just confuses me.

 

[StillRain]

Does that mean they are all @Lord Pmann 's bitches?

Like.. First Lady type thing.

I don't know. You Americans are so kooky with your ways.

When she says ‘kooky’ you just know she’s looking around nervously waiting for the white coats to come take ya’ll back to the asylum you all escaped from.

 

[StillRain]

@Cindy027 - She knows why

She might, but we don’t! Nominations must have reasons! Spill!

Nominated for not nomination properly.

 

[StillRain]

You fucking cockroach dipshit retard SHITSTAINS

Fuck you and the gerbil you rode in on.

Wanker of the week? This crowd is canker sore of the decade.

Douchbags (and Douchebagettes), hello and eat my fermented shit.

Love and kisses,

Lottie D.

Lottie!

Why you being so cantankerous about my sweet little thread?!

Who’s being a big old meany pants to you?

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Whats going on with this angry wanker? Is he somebody from before? I have a bad time just remembering all my old dumb shit.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Whats going on with this angry wanker? Is he somebody from before? I have a bad time just remembering all my old dumb shit.

Yep, newest iteration of Lottie…who won week 2 of the Wanker awards (under the name EvilJasmine) for the stupid levels of alts

 

[InThe312]

And banned already. I wonder who has this kind of time?

 

[InThe312]

Friends, countrymen, Romans...the day is upon us where the Wanker of this Week is nearly bestowed upon one of you wanktastic Litsters. I will be off doing what PoJs do when they're not judging you today, so expect the awards ceremony tonight. Last minute wankerings will be considered. Last minute bribes will as well. Here's the list as it stands.

(Nominee / Money Line / Over Under on total WotWs)
@ToPleaseHim for Dickie, failure to nominate properly / +200 / 1
@AmberLGreen for improper declination / +500 / 1
@enbiji for Zuckerberg / -150 / 1
@UnquietDreams for doing the doings / +200 / 2
@Azuldrgon for poor nominating, Americanism / +500 / 1
@Whiskeyjack for alchemy, not wanking and showing off and bragging / -150 / 1
@Xerxes82 for more Spock ears than last week / -250 / 1
@Lmizzler for whining / +350 / 2
@enbiji for Lmizzler's pleasure and shit poetry / E / 1
@StillRain for ignoring / +500 / 1
@SalaciousMonkey22 for excess gifing, bullying, the circus, being vegetarian, lack of self awareness, no appreciation, no gifing, 75%, no subtlety, name calling, language / +100 / 3
@Bry1313 for circle jerking, premature ending, not ending, denial, confusing AVs / +300 / 2
@Wand3rlust for pleading the 5th / +5000 / 1
@OrdinaryPerson for bad ideas, hard hats, lying, self inflation, defamation, not jacking / +250 / 2
@Indie for adorable deviousness, accusing everyone, ridiculousness / -200 / 1
@UnquietDreams for stringing / +250 / 1
@BadAmy for no snark / -300 / 1
@Apisto42 for no soy, no creativity, no recipe, lack of effort, being woke, bad jokes, thief!, thirst, dominating, helping the bear, white knight seduction, going hard / +500 / 2
@Amanda330 for having her own ideas, no backbone, anti-sexy PMs, Jugs for Jesus / +150 / 1
@deefalttwunnyfor for gas man, false modesty, no hot boy anal / -150 / 1
@crazychemgirl for lack of wanker then being a wanker, 10 days, grooming, cliquey, lack of tact, dumb, nom nom noming, harsh blame, jealousy, blaming, not mind reading / +200 / 1
@Tigobitties98 for assventures, cliquey, lack of circuses, not understanding emoji vs reaction, not understanding animals vs mammals, insincerity, self esteem, putting @SalaciousMonkey22 in her no dovetail box, running a sweatshop / -350 / 2
@morelikeasong for being a space fairy / -175 / 1
@LadyLascivious1 for gas man, wrong 2x, birthday foul / -150 / 1
@aussiegeekygal for gas man (twice), no quip game, being pokey, preaching shame, unfriendly vag, less geek than required / -250 / 1
@Lord Pmann for balls, not fucking a cinnamon roll, being Pmann, being thick, jealousy, lying, deluded, being a poseur / E / 1
@ALovelyNudiest for not following instructions / -100 / 1
@Mr_bogey for hate, tasting bad / -100 / 1
@lavendersilk for rudeness / -100 / 1
@vagrantx for bestie fail / -100 / 1
@deft for deleting evidence / -125 / 1
@BrendaD for American bitches / -125 / 1
@Trubbycat for denial / -100 / 1
@SirConradPeckereye for copyright infringement (this is a first), not appreciating Himalayan virgins, jumping guns / -200 / 1
@Otis_Ravelli for black coffee and men / -100 / 1
@Lmizzler for STILL not understanding how to wank properly, being weird / +350 / 2
@hotwords229_A for no hot boy anal / -150 / 1
@Cindy027 for ??? / -50 / 1

Wank on fine Litizens

 

[StillRain]

<snip.>

Wank on fine Litizens

If I have to.

*prepares the wanky fingers*

 

[InThe312]

If I have to.

*prepares the wanky fingers*

 

[ToPleaseHim]

And banned already. I wonder who has this kind of time?

Someone clearly not well at all

 

[Apisto42]

Wank on fine Litizens

I did last night. But for you? I’ll do it right now…

Ahh, that was good.

 

[InThe312]

I know you've all been chomping at the bit. I can see the wet spots from your drool. *wipes it with his finger*

Fuck, maybe that's not drool.

So this week was a real barnburner. Thanks to @crazychemgirl we had a night of wanking that will be remembered in the anals. This weeks wanker...well, I've never seen so many nominations for one person. I'm going to be honest, I stopped keeping track of some of them because the post would be too long.

But I digress.















Meaningless scrolling

















A long time ago, in a galaxy far away...
















Ingredients
3 cups (375g) all-purpose flour (spooned & leveled)
2 teaspoons cream of tartar*
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 and 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (16 Tbsp; 226g) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
1 and 1/3 cup (267g) granulated sugar
1 large egg + 1 large egg yolk, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
Topping
1/3 cup (70g) granulated sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Cook Mode Prevent your screen from going dark

Instructions
Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Line two large cookie sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats (always recommended for cookies). Set aside.

Make the topping: Combine the granulated sugar and cinnamon together in a small bowl.

Make the cookies: Whisk the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt together in a medium bowl.

In a large bowl using a hand mixer or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter and granulated sugar together on high speed until smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes. Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract. Beat on medium-high speed until combined. Scrape down the sides and up the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula as needed. With the mixer running on low speed, slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in 3 different parts. The dough will be thick.

Roll cookie dough into balls, about 1.5 Tablespoons (35g) of cookie dough each. I recommend this cookie scoop. Roll the dough balls in cinnamon-sugar topping. Sprinkle extra cinnamon-sugar on top if desired. Arrange 3 inches apart on the baking sheets.
Bake cookies for 10 minutes. The cookies will be very puffy and soft. When they are still very warm, lightly press down on them with the back of a spoon or fork to help flatten them out. Allow cookies to cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Cookies remain soft & fresh for 7 days in an airtight container at room temperature.



Oh, here's the envelope. And the winner of this week's Wanker of the Week is...

View attachment 2348786

Congratulations @Tigobitties98. There isn't a soul on Lit that can wank as much as you. Go forth and spread...well, your bitties, for all the wankers to celebrate.

 

[MindYaBitness]

I know you've all been chomping at the bit. I can see the wet spots from your drool. *wipes it with his finger*

Fuck, maybe that's not drool.

So this week was a real barnburner. Thanks to @crazychemgirl we had a night of wanking that will be remembered in the anals. This weeks wanker...well, I've never seen so many nominations for one person. I'm going to be honest, I stopped keeping track of some of them because the post would be too long.

But I digress.















Meaningless scrolling

















A long time ago, in a galaxy far away...
















Ingredients
3 cups (375g) all-purpose flour (spooned & leveled)
2 teaspoons cream of tartar*
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 and 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (16 Tbsp; 226g) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
1 and 1/3 cup (267g) granulated sugar
1 large egg + 1 large egg yolk, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
Topping
1/3 cup (70g) granulated sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Cook Mode Prevent your screen from going dark

Instructions
Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Line two large cookie sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats (always recommended for cookies). Set aside.

Make the topping: Combine the granulated sugar and cinnamon together in a small bowl.

Make the cookies: Whisk the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt together in a medium bowl.

In a large bowl using a hand mixer or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter and granulated sugar together on high speed until smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes. Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract. Beat on medium-high speed until combined. Scrape down the sides and up the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula as needed. With the mixer running on low speed, slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in 3 different parts. The dough will be thick.

Roll cookie dough into balls, about 1.5 Tablespoons (35g) of cookie dough each. I recommend this cookie scoop. Roll the dough balls in cinnamon-sugar topping. Sprinkle extra cinnamon-sugar on top if desired. Arrange 3 inches apart on the baking sheets.
Bake cookies for 10 minutes. The cookies will be very puffy and soft. When they are still very warm, lightly press down on them with the back of a spoon or fork to help flatten them out. Allow cookies to cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Cookies remain soft & fresh for 7 days in an airtight container at room temperature.



Oh, here's the envelope. And the winner of this week's Wanker of the Week is...
View attachment 2348785
View attachment 2348786

Congratulations @Tigobitties98. There isn't a soul on Lit that can wank as much as you. Go forth and spread...well, your bitties, for all the wankers to celebrate.

Wow, I am truly honored. Acceptance speech will be posted as soon as I am able!

 

[StillRain]

Congratulations @Tigobitties98 i cannot think of a person more deserving of wanking than you and your tigobitties!

Also I hope that recipe comes in handy to anyone thinking of baking today. Though why would anyone bake when they can wank?