🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

[OrdinaryPerson]

Welcome to Monday and my last week (we all sigh “thank Osiris”) of being the guest judge here at Wanker of the Week. Here are your nominations since Thursday

@joclfc for thinking people should pay them attention
@Wand3rlust for wowing @AmberLGreen a non-wow worthy poster
@AmberLGreen for offenses that were weird, but two different dudes named her
@ydahecnot fir enjoying a cringe interaction
@OrdinaryPerson for self nominating and hiding their 10” dick
@SalaciousMonkey22 for mixing glare bare stares
@Wand3rlust for not knowing that was a pop culture reference
@MasonS for hitting on the OG judge with no shot of closing the deal
@ToPleaseHim for banning Dickie
@NRJLIVES4ever for egregious sucking up
@Jbond1981 for being skeezy
@NeonSubtlety for not knowing women can be wankers
@Mo_Bandy for just being a six day a week wanker
@AmberLGreen
@Biggalute
@cdstefi
@Saltfountain
@Yesok1 All for cluttering this thread with actual chat
@Wand3rlust for leaving out her dildo
@Bry1313 for a sincere post and failure to give credit
@Saltfountain for being needy
@subdudeme13 for reasons and for thinking they are greatness
@cdstefi for hesitancy to nominate
@Wand3rlust for not knowing what her palm is
@AmberLGreen for thinking she’s special
@InThe312 for not knowing Amber is special
@AmberLGreen for not understanding wanking is cardio
@InThe312 for making the wanker Amber seem like a wanker
@Bry1313 for not naming names in controversial opinions
@Lmizzler for calling this prestigious award prestigious
@AmberLGreen for doubting Bry’s ability to be a locum
@Bry1313 for making Amber assumptions
@AmberLGreen for being long winded
@drobert44 for not being able to use the internet to figure out the definition of a word
@AmberLGreen for assuming I don’t read her content
@JaySecrets for his absence forcing us to keep his name out of our mouths

nominated for messing up the nominations. I nominated @Indie so we can share a dick. Get it right.

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

nominated for messing up the nominations. I nominated @Indie so we can share a dick. Get it right.

Can they make a double headed one?

 

[StillRain]

nominated for messing up the nominations. I nominated @Indie so we can share a dick. Get it right.

Nominated for stupidest nomination ever and boy have there been some stupid ones.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

Can they make a double headed one?

I'll pay to make it a double headed one just to see how it works with you two.

 

[Bry1313]

Ok, reviewing our final list of nominees for my final wank, here is our pool of…..um distinguished candidates

@joclfc for thinking people should pay them attention
@Wand3rlust for wowing @AmberLGreen a non-wow worthy poster
@AmberLGreen for offenses that were weird, but two different dudes named her
@ydahecnot fir enjoying a cringe interaction
@OrdinaryPerson for self nominating and hiding their 10” dick
@SalaciousMonkey22 for mixing glare bare stares
@Wand3rlust for not knowing that was a pop culture reference
@MasonS for hitting on the OG judge with no shot of closing the deal
@ToPleaseHim for banning Dickie
@NRJLIVES4ever for egregious sucking up
@Jbond1981 for being skeezy
@NeonSubtlety for not knowing women can be wankers
@Mo_Bandy for just being a six day a week wanker
@AmberLGreen
@Biggalute
@cdstefi
@Saltfountain
@Yesok1 All for cluttering this thread with actual chat
@Wand3rlust for leaving out her dildo
@Bry1313 for a sincere post and failure to give credit
@Saltfountain for being needy
@subdudeme13 for reasons and for thinking they are greatness
@cdstefi for hesitancy to nominate
@Wand3rlust for not knowing what her palm is
@AmberLGreen for thinking she’s special
@InThe312 for not knowing Amber is special
@AmberLGreen for not understanding wanking is cardio
@InThe312 for making the wanker Amber seem like a wanker
@Bry1313 for not naming names in controversial opinions
@Lmizzler for calling this prestigious award prestigious
@AmberLGreen for doubting Bry’s ability to be a locum
@Bry1313 for making Amber assumptions
@AmberLGreen for being long winded
@drobert44 for not being able to use the internet to figure out the definition of a word
@AmberLGreen for assuming I don’t read her content
@JaySecrets for his absence forcing us to keep his name out of our mouths
@SalaciousMonkey22 two times for egregious sucking up
@OrdinaryPerson for a terrible nomination
@Bry1313 for misunderstanding a terrible nomination

 

[StillRain]

Late nomination for @Renee1967 for bullshit slurs at @Saltfountain.

 

[Bry1313]

Late nomination for @Renee1967 for bullshit slurs animed at @Saltfountain.

Added, slurs are the worst of wankery behavior

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Can they make a double headed one?

Why cant they? The only obstacle is the worst panel of judge who can't seem to get our couple nomination right...

Nominated for stupidest nomination ever and boy have there been some stupid ones.

Nominated for judging the nominations

I'll pay to make it a double headed one just to see how it works with you two.

I heard they take bribes. Vote for us for best wanker couple

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Ok, reviewing our final list of nominees for my final wank, here is our pool of…..um distinguished candidates

@joclfc for thinking people should pay them attention
@Wand3rlust for wowing @AmberLGreen a non-wow worthy poster
@AmberLGreen for offenses that were weird, but two different dudes named her
@ydahecnot fir enjoying a cringe interaction
@OrdinaryPerson for self nominating and hiding their 10” dick
@SalaciousMonkey22 for mixing glare bare stares
@Wand3rlust for not knowing that was a pop culture reference
@MasonS for hitting on the OG judge with no shot of closing the deal
@ToPleaseHim for banning Dickie
@NRJLIVES4ever for egregious sucking up
@Jbond1981 for being skeezy
@NeonSubtlety for not knowing women can be wankers
@Mo_Bandy for just being a six day a week wanker
@AmberLGreen
@Biggalute
@cdstefi
@Saltfountain
@Yesok1 All for cluttering this thread with actual chat
@Wand3rlust for leaving out her dildo
@Bry1313 for a sincere post and failure to give credit
@Saltfountain for being needy
@subdudeme13 for reasons and for thinking they are greatness
@cdstefi for hesitancy to nominate
@Wand3rlust for not knowing what her palm is
@AmberLGreen for thinking she’s special
@InThe312 for not knowing Amber is special
@AmberLGreen for not understanding wanking is cardio
@InThe312 for making the wanker Amber seem like a wanker
@Bry1313 for not naming names in controversial opinions
@Lmizzler for calling this prestigious award prestigious
@AmberLGreen for doubting Bry’s ability to be a locum
@Bry1313 for making Amber assumptions
@AmberLGreen for being long winded
@drobert44 for not being able to use the internet to figure out the definition of a word
@AmberLGreen for assuming I don’t read her content
@JaySecrets for his absence forcing us to keep his name out of our mouths
@SalaciousMonkey22 two times for egregious sucking up
@OrdinaryPerson for a terrible nomination
@Bry1313 for misunderstanding a terrible nomination

Why are you so bad at this? Where is @Indie?

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

Why are you so bad at this? Where is @Indie?

It's okay, baby. We can find our own trophy.

 

[InThe312]

It's okay, baby. We can find our own trophy.

Pft. Nominated for disrespecting the trophy. There is no trophy like the wanker trophy.

 

[Renee1967]

Late nomination for @Renee1967 for bullshit slurs at @Saltfountain.

I must have missed what I said hopefully it was funny

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I must have missed what I said hopefully it was funny

It wasn’t.

 

[Renee1967]

I'm sure you're a joy to be around

 

[InThe312]

I'm sure you're a joy to be around

At least we know why you’re here.

 

[Bry1313]

Wow, what a month it’s been here at Wanker of the Week industries. We chosen four amazing wankers who wanker above all the others and now as we fully settle our faces into the warm caress of Spring’s soft and tender bosom, we gather to honor one last wanker.

I know you have all enjoyed my tenure here as wanker judge, and like you im sorry to see it end, but all wonderful stories must end somehow.

My story has judge ends with a poster who saw previous wanker behavior and elevated it to a higher form.

When wanker behavior was noted, our wanker took it and doubled down, wanking even harder showing a defiance in wanking not seen by the others.

Who is this wanker who is so committed to the wank you ask















Well we’ve reached tbe part where we make you scroll.















And scroll some more


















Then further scrolling















Until you start thinking, get the fuck on with it already


















But no, some more scrolling














Until ultimately the envelope is opened


















And we see the winner is





















@SalaciousMonkey22 for seeing how @AWonkyDonkey sucked up and you took it to the next level. Here is your certificate and the golden schlong, handle it in the precious and gentle way it deserves and think about what you’ve done. With that I must thank @StillRain for creating the most prestigious award here at Lit and for shining all the love the flowed my way as judge. For the next victim……I mean lucky judge, I hope you have as much fun as I did being your WOTW judge.






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[Wand3rlust]

About time.

 

[Bry1313]

About time.

Ill miss you most of all

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

I still don't see why I had to win WOTW for American's not understanding my brilliant sense of humour.

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

I'm definitely borrowing this trophy now. C'mere @SalaciousMonkey22

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Wow, what a month it’s been here at Wanker of the Week industries. We chosen four amazing wankers who wanker above all the others and now as we fully settle our faces into the warm caress of Spring’s soft and tender bosom, we gather to honor one last wanker.

I know you have all enjoyed my tenure here as wanker judge, and like you im sorry to see it end, but all wonderful stories must end somehow.

My story has judge ends with a poster who saw previous wanker behavior and elevated it to a higher form.

When wanker behavior was noted, our wanker took it and doubled down, wanking even harder showing a defiance in wanking not seen by the others.

Who is this wanker who is so committed to the wank you ask















Well we’ve reached tbe part where we make you scroll.















And scroll some more


















Then further scrolling















Until you start thinking, get the fuck on with it already


















But no, some more scrolling














Until ultimately the envelope is opened


















And we see the winner is





















@SalaciousMonkey22 for seeing how @AWonkyDonkey sucked up and you took it to the next level. Here is your certificate and the golden schlong, handle it in the precious and gentle way it deserves and think about what you’ve done. With that I must thank @StillRain for creating the most prestigious award here at Lit and for shining all the love the flowed my way as judge. For the next victim……I mean lucky judge, I hope you have as much fun as I did being your WOTW judge.






View attachment 2332797




View attachment 2332798

View attachment 2332811
I’m certain I have no idea of what you are speaking sir.

Wow. Just wow. I’d ask who hurt you people but I think we all know the answer, it was of course, the patriarchy. What y’all call wanking, I simply call trying to make people I like feel good and smile. I think it’s pretty clear I do so with no real ulterior motive either. Only one pair of pants I’m trying to get into. Stupid hipster sizing. I probably need to lose 10 lbs before I fit.

Oh wait, hey @Indie I’ll be right there.

Thanks. Woo hoo *tosses subscription forms out the window*

 

[Wand3rlust]

About time.

To be clear, @SalaciousMonkey22 that was aimed at old tardy pants for being late.

 

[StillRain]

Well, I think we can all wank thank the Lit gods for that being over. By that I mean the tenure of @Bry1313 as the esteem panel of judge. Though our friend and ex-judge, @Bry1313 excelled at being the winningest wanker, he sure took some time to warm up as the esteem panel of judge. I think we can all agree.

Congrats on the mediocre effort Bry we semi- appreciate it and totally appreciated paying said efforts out.

I’m even more excited to announce the next, and some might say, more questionable, esteemed panel of judge. You may be forgiven for thinking this is an early April Fool’s Joke but I can assure you, the Wanker of the Week Awards are nothing if not Lit’s most serious and esteemed awards. We never joke around here.

This person has been a mainstay of the WotW, a winner of the award and a vocal and … uhh… enthusiastic commentator throughout the lifespan of the awards. So I’m sure you’ll all be as uhh anxi excited…. to welcome our dear @Wand3rlust as April’s panel of judge and support her as she rights this sinking ship adjudicates fairly and swiftly.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Well, I think we can all wank thank the Lit gods for that being over. By that I mean the tenure of @Bry1313 as the esteem panel of judge. Though our friend and ex-judge, @Bry1313 excelled at being the winningest wanker, he sure took some time to warm up as the esteem panel of judge. I think we can all agree.

Congrats on the mediocre effort Bry we semi- appreciate it and totally appreciated paying said efforts out.

I’m even more excited to announce the next, and some might say, more questionable, esteemed panel of judge. You may be forgiven for thinking this is an early April Fool’s Joke but I can assure you, the Wanker of the Week Awards are nothing if not Lit’s most serious and esteemed awards. We never joke around here.

This person has been a mainstay of the WotW, a winner of the award and a vocal and … uhh… enthusiastic commentator throughout the lifespan of the awards. So I’m sure you’ll all be as uhh anxi excited…. to welcome our dear @Wand3rlust as April’s panel of judge and support her as she rights this sinking ship adjudicates fairly and swiftly.

I'm saying nothing.

I'll only end up standing accused of sucking up when in fact I was being sarcastic...

Bitter? Moi? Pfft, no.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Fuck.