Sex & Shenanigans

[crazychemgirl]

I am 55 and I can't make Craft Macaroni and Cheese. I can make it from scratch, at least three different ways, but whenever I try to make the box stuff, it turns to mush.

My kid thinks this is the funniest thing in the world.

You know how I make it? … I saw it on tiktok and it works great.

I boil the noodles for 7 minutes or so … don’t want them mushy. Then when they are cooked I save a bit of pasta water and then when the pan is still hot (after straining out the noodles) … I put some margarine and pasta water in and then mix in the orange powder cheese.
Mix and then add noodles.

BAM!

 

[Apisto42]

Wanna give me one?

My dad said he’d like to give one Miss.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

I'm 45 and I can't mind my own business.
I also can't touch my toes without bending my knees.

 

[Deleted member 1498366]

I’m 32 and I can’t whistle

Samesies on both parts!!

 

[Apisto42]

You know how I make it? … I saw it on tiktok and it works great.

I boil the noodles for 7 minutes or so … don’t want them mushy. Then when they are cooked I save a bit of pasta water and then when the pan is still hot (after straining out the noodles) … I put some margarine and pasta water in and then mix in the orange powder cheese.
Mix and then add noodles.

BAM!

The only thing wrong with this is the word “margarine”.

 

[crazychemgirl]

I'm 45 and I can't mind my own business.
I also can't touch my toes without bending my knees.

Hey I can do that!!

(Not the first part though)

 

[crazychemgirl]

The only thing wrong with this is the word “margarine”.

No one asked you.

 

[UnquietDreams]

I learned on my dad’s manual Jeep … I’m so glad I had that experience

OK, OK, I’ll be serious.

I’m 49 and I can’t drive a manual transmission.

I forced my kid to learn on my car. She didn't like it, and she would be hell on a clutch, but she can do it.

 

[dawn_of_night]

View attachment 2329951


Ooooh this is a good one.


I’m 43 and I can’t dive into water

I'm 40 and I can't walk across the grates at the front door going to Menards...

 

[crazychemgirl]

 

[dawn_of_night]

Well...you said you did...so?

I think I forgot to hit "select" *send*

 

[Wand3rlust]

It’s out of love my dear


Plus … isn’t this one way better than that weird penis award from another thread?

So let me get this straight....

You lot think I've been being sarcastic all this time.....

Riiiiight

Yep. Totally. Uh huh.

 

[dawn_of_night]

I forced my kid to learn on my car. She didn't like it, and she would be hell on a clutch, but she can do it.

I learned to drive a stick first, then backwards in an automatic, and then I was driving forward...

 

[MissLabelled]

FUCK! I just snorted coffee out my nose! YOU OWE ME A NEW NOSE!

I’m afraid this is all my insurance will cover.

I'm 44 and I can't throw a ball with any type of accuracy

You must have been deadly at dodgeball! Aiming for one and completely nailing an unsuspecting player instead.

I am 55 and I can't make Craft Macaroni and Cheese. I can make it from scratch, at least three different ways, but whenever I try to make the box stuff, it turns to mush.

My kid thinks this is the funniest thing in the world.

It belongs in the trash anyway, no loss.

 

[UnquietDreams]

You know how I make it? … I saw it on tiktok and it works great.

I boil the noodles for 7 minutes or so … don’t want them mushy. Then when they are cooked I save a bit of pasta water and then when the pan is still hot (after straining out the noodles) … I put some margarine and pasta water in and then mix in the orange powder cheese.
Mix and then add noodles.

BAM!

Here is my method. Boil the noodles. While doing so, throw the rest of the box away without ever looking at the terrifing packet of orange chemicals. In another pan, add heavy cream and fresh garlic. Reduce to about 1/3. Add the pasta, with a bit of salt and ground white pepper to tase. Heat through. Add to bowl, and top with grated Parmesan cheese.

Honestly, it takes about the same time, and my kid doesn't laugh.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Here is my method. Boil the noodles. While doing so, throw the rest of the box away without ever looking at the terrifing packet of orange chemicals. In another pan, add heavy cream and fresh garlic. Reduce to about 1/3. Add the pasta, with a bit of salt and ground white pepper to tase. Heat through. Add to bowl, and top with grated Parmesan cheese.

Honestly, it takes about the same time, and my kid doesn't laugh.

That is not Mac n cheese ..


Fail.

 

[UnquietDreams]

That is not Mac n cheese ..


Fail.

Macaroni, from the box. And Parmesan cheese is...cheese. I am not sure that you ever caught that, but there you go.

 

[dawn_of_night]

I love the blue box.... Half water, double butter and most of the milk.... Also cook time is super important, I don't deal with limp noodles....

 

[lavendersilk]

I love the blue pill. I don't deal with limp noodles....

FIFY

 

[dawn_of_night]

Macaroni, from the box. And Parmesan cheese is... The best cheese. I am not sure that you ever caught that, but there you go.

FIFY

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

The seventh award for:


7. Poster who only pops in and out occasionally .. aka the Whack-A-Mole award

Goes to @PlanetaryNebula


View attachment 2329873


I know she won’t see this until later, but I hope it brightens her day a little bit because whenever she does pop her head in, she definitely brightens mine.

Wow! I’m completely speechless. I didn’t expect an award at all, because I’m not here as much as I would like to be. So yes. Yes CCM, this definitely brightened my day!!!! Thanks for making a great place for all of us loveable misfits of lit.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Macaroni, from the box. And Parmesan cheese is...cheese. I am not sure that you ever caught that, but there you go.

Fail!!!!

 

[Strixaluco]

I'm 45 and I can't mind my own business.
I also can't touch my toes without bending my knees.

Had to check. Without any stretching, touched my toes without bending knees.

The other part, in turn... What was that again?

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

I'm so touched...wow...thank you...thank you
*5 minute standing ovation*

So wow, first off, do you guys validate parking?
*audience laughter*

This award is truly an honor. I want to thank my writing staff for coming up with all the great hashtags and catch phrases. I want to thank my many, many lovers. Past and future. Big thanks to the Shenanigang. And many thanks to @crazychemgirl for being the coolest and raddest among us. I know I set the bar pretty high but you come close.

And in closing let me say...

#hoelife

I love you fuckers

This is a great acceptance speech babe

 

[UnquietDreams]

Fail!!!!

You misspelled "fucking awesome."

No delicious MACARONI AND CHEESE for you!