Straight men who suck dick or who are curious to suck cock please read; cross dressers too

[toowiredup]

Hi
I am writing an essay on exploring a man’s same sex lust from any of the following men:
1. Men who have sucked cock and/or bottomedr

2. Men who are curious to suck cock and/or bottom
3. Men who have cross dressed.

I’d this is you, please share your stories of experience, your fantasies, your inner struggle and I may use your story or quote in my essay.

Jasmine
The essay is tentatively called amen: How to Accept you Like Cock

Thanks in advance for considering this request.

I was bi-curious for a long time, and pretty much the second I got divorced I gave myself permission to explore, and found a decent man who really let me explore, all of the things that I wanted. I was certain I wanted to give head, and I was pretty sure that I was submissive, but really had no idea what to do with any of it.

For the first couple of years I was typical "newbi" - I'll give head, but no kissing, too intimate. I finally ended up meeting a guy who was insistent on kissing, so I did, and it was like a whole new me awakened. I realized that, on some level, what I craved was the intimacy, and when it was with a man, while I did like "submission," it was more about letting him guide, open new horizons, treat me in a certain way that was vaguely feminine. It came to a head, so to speak, when I met with one of my "hook ups," and we started kissing, and I straddled his lap and was trying to kiss him. He threw me off of his lap and said he didn't want a girlfriend and I needed to stop acting like one. It broke me, I literally started crying and left. It made me wonder if I was being girly, why, all of that. And as I thought it all through, I realized that I did actually appreciate being called "baby" and "sweetheart," things like that, whether I was "dressing" or not, and anyone who I met who played into that had me instantly horny. Eventually I met another man who did all of that, opened doors (literally) and kissed me like I was a lover, and while I wasn't dressing, he really treated me like I was his girl. He told me I had a lot of women's characteristics and asked if I ever tried dressing - which I had not. After we'd made out for awhile he told me he'd love to see me in lingerie, if I felt comfortable with it. And the way he did it, making it seem like I was doing to please him, as opposed to doing it for me, or for some "experience" really worked for me. As we dated longer, the more I did it, because it was actually natural, it was something he "knew" and brought out. We split right around the pandemic start, but now it's how I identify for pretty much any new date. I've never done anything more than blowjobs with a guy, but I know now that when I do actually bottom, it will be en femme, with a guy who knows how to pull that person out of me.

 

[BBCfan]

Super long post but I hope it may be helpful to any straight guys confused at being a straight cock sucker and how to deal with it.

When young I was always curious how I measured up in the dick department. I became more cock curious wondering if I would be big enough to satisfy women. Always wondered how I measured up against others.

Girl crazy but my first sexual experience with an orgasm happened with my best friend.
The wondering how I measured up and being a super horny virgin led to mutual oral of couple times.
He turned out to be quite a bit bigger than me, and from that I developed a bit of penis envy
and cock curiosity.

Soon after I began dating and had a lot of success with women and never thought of it again.
It was always fascinated in porn seeing bigger cocks then mine and how women took them.

At that time in the earlier days of porn the biggest dicks out there were usually attached to a black man so interracial porn was my fave.
Over time I became curious to try sucking another dick again.
I still only wanted to be with women but the idea of trying it again became a deep desire.

It was a very confusing time as I also wanted a normal relationship with a woman. Only ever attracted to women and didn't ever look at guys or fantasize about anyone real, but the idea of a specific big Dick and being able to play with it was an overwhelming desire.

I even met a few guys on chat sites but would never go through with it once meeting in person.

Finally 1 day I met a very muscular Adonis of a black man with a very hot big dick and I sucked dick again in my late 20's. After that experience I realized that black dick was much more enticing and desirable to play with for a few reasons.
I was dating a girl at the time and felt quite guilty about it and so told her.
I expected our relationship to end but then she told me she had a curiosity to see 2 guys together.
I ended up sucking black dick a few times in front of her.
We broke up for other reasons.

Although fun experiences it was a confusing time as I wondered am I gay, am I Bi but the resounding desire was always to be with women first and foremost, but this itch about sucking a big black dick became a craving if I didn't scratch it once in a while in fantasy at least.

More than a few times I tried to stop and just have a normal relationship and it would always creep back in.

I would usually do it between relationships as I would not want to cheat on someone and also it was hard to be honest and expect them still to wanna be with me.

Over the years I probably met with 10 or 12 guys, Always black guys and hopefully with much bigger dicks than mine.

I always hoped to find a regular guy to hang out with once in a while and do the dirty deed, but Then also have a normal relationship with a woman otherwise who knew and was supportive.

I then met a very open-minded woman and was in an open relationship and could do it as I pleased but I could also pursue other women , which I did most times.
The few times I did find a guy to hang out with it was never that comfortable and was always a one time thing.

I began to realize the fantasy was often more exciting then the real act. The idea of sucking Dick was hotter than doing it most times. Intense desire and Excitement of mixed emotions planning to do the act created more excitement and build up than the enjoyment of the act itself.

I also had a hard time being truly open even with the open-minded girlfriend as I thought she might be a bit put Off to see that side of me more closely. She would often ask me to share about the experiences I had, but I would often be too embarrassed to even say much about it.
I thought it Would change how she saw me, as a virile guy that loved to fuck her, if she knew details of how liked to suck big black dicks once in awhile too.

After that relationship ended I actually decided I wanted to pursue it more and see how far I could take it. It's obviously never going away and maybe I was more Bi and perhaps I was denying myself of something.

I did pursue finding a regular guy to suck but even then had little luck and the experiences I did try weren't very fulfilling. Most guys would usually want more than just getting their dick sucked and there's no way I was comfortable with more.
Plus 90%+ of the time I was craving women and wanting a GF.
Definitely no way I've ever had any desire to be fucked by a guy, or fuck a guy.

Around that time I came across some research on fetishism and It helped me gain a better understanding and comfort with my desires.
I'll share this quote from something I read recently on this topic.

By Dawn Michael — Written on Dec 22, 2016:


"This idea of a straight man having a fetish for another man's penis is taboo and misunderstood.

Your average person may think if a man desires another guy's dick he must be gay.

However, that's not the case with a penis fetish: that of a straight man desiring another man's penis. As a clinical sexologist, I counsel clients from around the world. Part of each of my sessions is devoted to gathering a client's personal sex history.

The importance of a client's sex history is two-fold: One, it helps me understand them better so as to help them. Two, I gain information on similarities in particular clients' sexual histories. This can pertain to sexual patterns, desires and in some cases, kinks and fetishes.

Compiling sex histories over the years has given me some insight as to why and how sexual fetishes develop.

The sex histories of men that I counsel as well as men I interviewed for other studies presented similarities in how said fetishes developed. Most fetishes developed around the age of puberty when an encounter, object, or incident happened that created arousal.

In most men, the arousal coupled with the onset of puberty created the fetish — and just as a man may have a foot fetish, he can also have a penis fetish.

As described in an article featured on WebMD, Richard Krueger, MD, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University said that "people can 'fetishize' almost anything. There are many websites about lots of fetish interests...anything you could imagine. According to a study, the most common fetishes involve body parts, such as feet, or body features, such as obesity, piercings, or tattoos."

Having a fetish for a penis does not mean that the person must be attracted to the same gender.

In the area of cuckolding, which I define as "a marriage where the husband derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife have sex with a man who has a larger penis," a man can safely play out his penis fetish because it also involves his wife. Thus, the penis fetish becomes acceptable in terms of, she is the one asking him to get the other guy hard by sucking on his dick or giving him a hand job.

Of course, some people will jump to the conclusion that the man in this scenarios is bisexual and in some cases this may be true but in other instances, it may not and he just has a penis fetish.

A bisexual man would be attracted to the man, not just his penis. A man who is heterosexual or sees himself as straight is not attracted to the man and only desires to suck or fondle the other man's penis.

As confusing as this may sound to you, remember: it's just as confusing to the men who have a penis fetish.

Some men have engaged in sexual encounters with other men because they are confused, only to realize that they're not attracted to men — they're attracted to women but also want a woman to force them to interact with another man's penis, i.e. cuckolding.

Some men may find this whole topic to be ridiculous and unsettling but the reality is that straight men who have a penis fetish beat themselves up over it, feel tremendous shame, and are terribly confused."

That information was tremendously helpful as I always felt some guilt, and lots of shame and comfusion.
When I started dating my now wife, through some openness and some chance, I ended up being completely open to her about everything to do with my past and my desires.
I was willing to put any kind of cock sucking action on hold as long as she was willing to let me be honest and try to work through things with her.

Through dating and sharing i learned she was someone that had dated some extremely well hung black guys in the past.

Realizing that kind of ignited another side of me and the idea of seeing her with one of those guys became a big turn on.
Over the last few years it's now become a fun twist on my fetish, And it has helped redirect my cock sucking fetish towards seeing her with a big black cock instead of me sucking it, and plus I can be open and share it with her.

I feel very blessed that now it doesn't have to be in the shadows and I have a partner I can work through things with, and share our own version of my fetish with. It's actually revitalized our sex life a bit and Now instead of just fantasizing about doing something with a guy it's about doing something with my wife and a guy.
So finally it feels I do have the relationship I want it and I'm able to deal with this cock fetish in a honest way that feels pretty fulfilling right now.

 

[michaelinteas]

Super long post but I hope it may be helpful to any straight guys confused at being a straight cock sucker and how to deal with it.

When young I was always curious how I measured up in the dick department. I became more cock curious wondering if I would be big enough to satisfy women. Always wondered how I measured up against others.

Girl crazy but my first sexual experience with an orgasm happened with my best friend.
The wondering how I measured up and being a super horny virgin led to mutual oral of couple times.
He turned out to be quite a bit bigger than me, and from that I developed a bit of penis envy
and cock curiosity.

Soon after I began dating and had a lot of success with women and never thought of it again.
It was always fascinated in porn seeing bigger cocks then mine and how women took them.

At that time in the earlier days of porn the biggest dicks out there were usually attached to a black man so interracial porn was my fave.
Over time I became curious to try sucking another dick again.
I still only wanted to be with women but the idea of trying it again became a deep desire.

It was a very confusing time as I also wanted a normal relationship with a woman. Only ever attracted to women and didn't ever look at guys or fantasize about anyone real, but the idea of a specific big Dick and being able to play with it was an overwhelming desire.

I even met a few guys on chat sites but would never go through with it once meeting in person.

Finally 1 day I met a very muscular Adonis of a black man with a very hot big dick and I sucked dick again in my late 20's. After that experience I realized that black dick was much more enticing and desirable to play with for a few reasons.
I was dating a girl at the time and felt quite guilty about it and so told her.
I expected our relationship to end but then she told me she had a curiosity to see 2 guys together.
I ended up sucking black dick a few times in front of her.
We broke up for other reasons.

Although fun experiences it was a confusing time as I wondered am I gay, am I Bi but the resounding desire was always to be with women first and foremost, but this itch about sucking a big black dick became a craving if I didn't scratch it once in a while in fantasy at least.

More than a few times I tried to stop and just have a normal relationship and it would always creep back in.

I would usually do it between relationships as I would not want to cheat on someone and also it was hard to be honest and expect them still to wanna be with me.

Over the years I probably met with 10 or 12 guys, Always black guys and hopefully with much bigger dicks than mine.

I always hoped to find a regular guy to hang out with once in a while and do the dirty deed, but Then also have a normal relationship with a woman otherwise who knew and was supportive.

I then met a very open-minded woman and was in an open relationship and could do it as I pleased but I could also pursue other women , which I did most times.
The few times I did find a guy to hang out with it was never that comfortable and was always a one time thing.

I began to realize the fantasy was often more exciting then the real act. The idea of sucking Dick was hotter than doing it most times. Intense desire and Excitement of mixed emotions planning to do the act created more excitement and build up than the enjoyment of the act itself.

I also had a hard time being truly open even with the open-minded girlfriend as I thought she might be a bit put Off to see that side of me more closely. She would often ask me to share about the experiences I had, but I would often be too embarrassed to even say much about it.
I thought it Would change how she saw me, as a virile guy that loved to fuck her, if she knew details of how liked to suck big black dicks once in awhile too.

After that relationship ended I actually decided I wanted to pursue it more and see how far I could take it. It's obviously never going away and maybe I was more Bi and perhaps I was denying myself of something.

I did pursue finding a regular guy to suck but even then had little luck and the experiences I did try weren't very fulfilling. Most guys would usually want more than just getting their dick sucked and there's no way I was comfortable with more.
Plus 90%+ of the time I was craving women and wanting a GF.
Definitely no way I've ever had any desire to be fucked by a guy, or fuck a guy.

Around that time I came across some research on fetishism and It helped me gain a better understanding and comfort with my desires.
I'll share this quote from something I read recently on this topic.

By Dawn Michael — Written on Dec 22, 2016:


"This idea of a straight man having a fetish for another man's penis is taboo and misunderstood.

Your average person may think if a man desires another guy's dick he must be gay.

However, that's not the case with a penis fetish: that of a straight man desiring another man's penis. As a clinical sexologist, I counsel clients from around the world. Part of each of my sessions is devoted to gathering a client's personal sex history.

The importance of a client's sex history is two-fold: One, it helps me understand them better so as to help them. Two, I gain information on similarities in particular clients' sexual histories. This can pertain to sexual patterns, desires and in some cases, kinks and fetishes.

Compiling sex histories over the years has given me some insight as to why and how sexual fetishes develop.

The sex histories of men that I counsel as well as men I interviewed for other studies presented similarities in how said fetishes developed. Most fetishes developed around the age of puberty when an encounter, object, or incident happened that created arousal.

In most men, the arousal coupled with the onset of puberty created the fetish — and just as a man may have a foot fetish, he can also have a penis fetish.

As described in an article featured on WebMD, Richard Krueger, MD, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University said that "people can 'fetishize' almost anything. There are many websites about lots of fetish interests...anything you could imagine. According to a study, the most common fetishes involve body parts, such as feet, or body features, such as obesity, piercings, or tattoos."

Having a fetish for a penis does not mean that the person must be attracted to the same gender.

In the area of cuckolding, which I define as "a marriage where the husband derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife have sex with a man who has a larger penis," a man can safely play out his penis fetish because it also involves his wife. Thus, the penis fetish becomes acceptable in terms of, she is the one asking him to get the other guy hard by sucking on his dick or giving him a hand job.

Of course, some people will jump to the conclusion that the man in this scenarios is bisexual and in some cases this may be true but in other instances, it may not and he just has a penis fetish.

A bisexual man would be attracted to the man, not just his penis. A man who is heterosexual or sees himself as straight is not attracted to the man and only desires to suck or fondle the other man's penis.

As confusing as this may sound to you, remember: it's just as confusing to the men who have a penis fetish.

Some men have engaged in sexual encounters with other men because they are confused, only to realize that they're not attracted to men — they're attracted to women but also want a woman to force them to interact with another man's penis, i.e. cuckolding.

Some men may find this whole topic to be ridiculous and unsettling but the reality is that straight men who have a penis fetish beat themselves up over it, feel tremendous shame, and are terribly confused."

That information was tremendously helpful as I always felt some guilt, and lots of shame and comfusion.
When I started dating my now wife, through some openness and some chance, I ended up being completely open to her about everything to do with my past and my desires.
I was willing to put any kind of cock sucking action on hold as long as she was willing to let me be honest and try to work through things with her.

Through dating and sharing i learned she was someone that had dated some extremely well hung black guys in the past.

Realizing that kind of ignited another side of me and the idea of seeing her with one of those guys became a big turn on.
Over the last few years it's now become a fun twist on my fetish, And it has helped redirect my cock sucking fetish towards seeing her with a big black cock instead of me sucking it, and plus I can be open and share it with her.

I feel very blessed that now it doesn't have to be in the shadows and I have a partner I can work through things with, and share our own version of my fetish with. It's actually revitalized our sex life a bit and Now instead of just fantasizing about doing something with a guy it's about doing something with my wife and a guy.
So finally it feels I do have the relationship I want it and I'm able to deal with this cock fetish in a honest way that feels pretty fulfilling right now.

I love your take on it and thank you for sharing your experience's. When I read things like this it helps me better understand myself.

 

[ChrisSimp]

Same here in WV

Same in GA

 

[ChrisSimp]

No offense intended, but straight men do not suck cock.

I know what I got, and I like it. I suck straight cock.

Thank you; that will be all.

"No, I'm not gay but the guy sucking my cock is."

 

[Renee1967]

or as I put it; no I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is

 

[Schalk3070]

I have wanted to suck cock for some time now just can’t seem to be able to connect with anyone,. I’ve been looking for someone very discreet and in this day it seems hard for me to find

I would be interested in hearing from you
I still remember my 1st experience being with another guy
I told him wasn't sure if we were doing was right
He told me try it you will like it yes he was right. Now the MORE I get the better

 

[MacBos]

We were both hard. We were looking at porn mags, which is what started the truth or dare game. I ripped out a page and cut out the girls pussy, and dared him to let me stick my cock through it and hump his butt cheeks with my cock. He did the same to me. Next round we dared each other to put our cocks in each other's mouths. The rule was we had to take in just passed the head. I remember he counted to 10 super slow, which I didn't mind. Today I don't remember how he felt in my mouth, but I remember back then I liked how it felt and wanted to do more, but never got the courage to ask. He moved away after that summer, and we lost touch.

I'm in the same boat but have never had the experience you had .

 

[Schalk3070]

I was very curious to try gay/bi sex and looked -- for years -- for the right partner. In my 50s, I found the first guy on Craigslist -- obviously, that was years ago -- after he posted looking for a blowjob. He was about 10 years older than me and, like me, married.

We exchanged lots of email over the course of about a month or so before getting together at his house. He couldn't have been more delightful. Anyway, we were in his family room and that's where he sat on the couch and I blew him. Even swallowed too. What made it such an enjoyable experience was that he was so very, very grateful for the blowjob and very complimentary of my skills, too. I wish we'd continued our relationship. But he moved and our schedules never synched up.

The next time was about a year later, again with a married man about 10 years my senior. We engaged in some oral and stroking and he massaged my nipples as I beat off, dropping huge amounts of cum on the floor.

The time after that was with a firefighter. We did oral. It wasn't so great. Likely because he was scared. But I wasn't his first.

The last time was with a man slightly older than me. By about a few years. He was fat, too, but that was fine. I fucked him in the mouth as he played with my nipples. I shot a huge load into his mouth and it was fun. I blew him, too. He had a nice ass. I probably could have fucked him in the ass.

I'm curious to bottom for anal. But ... again ... it would have to be the right guy, someone who's disease and drama free and also not too large. They should be married, too. That way we'll both be careful and not promiscuous. I've discovered the guys with the 5 to 6 inch dicks are better lovers than the ones with larger ones, meaning 7 inches or larger.

Just stroked and playing with nipples while reading your post just wish I could have yourself in my mouth

 

[pleasuremodeloneten]

I was bi-curious for a long time, and pretty much the second I got divorced I gave myself permission to explore, and found a decent man who really let me explore, all of the things that I wanted. I was certain I wanted to give head, and I was pretty sure that I was submissive, but really had no idea what to do with any of it.

For the first couple of years I was typical "newbi" - I'll give head, but no kissing, too intimate. I finally ended up meeting a guy who was insistent on kissing, so I did, and it was like a whole new me awakened. I realized that, on some level, what I craved was the intimacy, and when it was with a man, while I did like "submission," it was more about letting him guide, open new horizons, treat me in a certain way that was vaguely feminine. It came to a head, so to speak, when I met with one of my "hook ups," and we started kissing, and I straddled his lap and was trying to kiss him. He threw me off of his lap and said he didn't want a girlfriend and I needed to stop acting like one. It broke me, I literally started crying and left. It made me wonder if I was being girly, why, all of that. And as I thought it all through, I realized that I did actually appreciate being called "baby" and "sweetheart," things like that, whether I was "dressing" or not, and anyone who I met who played into that had me instantly horny. Eventually I met another man who did all of that, opened doors (literally) and kissed me like I was a lover, and while I wasn't dressing, he really treated me like I was his girl. He told me I had a lot of women's characteristics and asked if I ever tried dressing - which I had not. After we'd made out for awhile he told me he'd love to see me in lingerie, if I felt comfortable with it. And the way he did it, making it seem like I was doing to please him, as opposed to doing it for me, or for some "experience" really worked for me. As we dated longer, the more I did it, because it was actually natural, it was something he "knew" and brought out. We split right around the pandemic start, but now it's how I identify for pretty much any new date. I've never done anything more than blowjobs with a guy, but I know now that when I do actually bottom, it will be en femme, with a guy who knows how to pull that person out of me.

Great post. This is exactly where I am as a dominant but sensual top- I love the cock attention obviously, but there’s so much more… kissing and making out and exploring each others bodies, seeking the other person’s pleasure triggers… what I love about the submissive bottom guys and gurls is that my pleasure triggers their pleasure, which in turn enhances mine… and so on and so on. It’s a loop of excitement and passion that I experienced very surprisingly just last week with an older single guy from doublelist. Neither of us were expecting it to go there, but once I made it clear that I wanted to kiss we were off and running. Ultimately we both came twice, me in his mouth while he lay back on the bed and I slowly facefucked him (it was so hot watching my glistening cock slide in and out of his mouth as his lips greedily clamped down on me), him as I reached back and stroked him until he throbbed and pumped in my hand…
It was a wonderful time and I think we will attempt to make it a semi regular thing, as we are both safe and clean…
I will admit that I am, however, still seeking my unicorn- another married guy, in his forties or thereabouts, who is slender, very femme, very much a man pleaser…
Didn’t mean to make a book out of this, lol, but I’m hard and stroking right now thinking about the look of lustful need in the man’s eyes as my cock swelled in his mouth and I reached the point of no return… it was sooo nice holding his head in my hands as my cock began pulsing, I did my best to give him as much cock as I could without gagging him…
The cum kiss afterwards was literally the icing on the cake, and the moment was so strong that I stayed hard and frantically stroked another load onto his outstretched tongue…

 

[Schalk3070]

Great post. This is exactly where I am as a dominant but sensual top- I love the cock attention obviously, but there’s so much more… kissing and making out and exploring each others bodies, seeking the other person’s pleasure triggers… what I love about the submissive bottom guys and gurls is that my pleasure triggers their pleasure, which in turn enhances mine… and so on and so on. It’s a loop of excitement and passion that I experienced very surprisingly just last week with an older single guy from doublelist. Neither of us were expecting it to go there, but once I made it clear that I wanted to kiss we were off and running. Ultimately we both came twice, me in his mouth while he lay back on the bed and I slowly facefucked him (it was so hot watching my glistening cock slide in and out of his mouth as his lips greedily clamped down on me), him as I reached back and stroked him until he throbbed and pumped in my hand…
It was a wonderful time and I think we will attempt to make it a semi regular thing, as we are both safe and clean…
I will admit that I am, however, still seeking my unicorn- another married guy, in his forties or thereabouts, who is slender, very femme, very much a man pleaser…
Didn’t mean to make a book out of this, lol, but I’m hard and stroking right now thinking about the look of lustful need in the man’s eyes as my cock swelled in his mouth and I reached the point of no return… it was sooo nice holding his head in my hands as my cock began pulsing, I did my best to give him as much cock as I could without gagging him…
The cum kiss afterwards was literally the icing on the cake, and the moment was so strong that I stayed hard and frantically stroked another load onto his outstretched tongue…

You really know how to get a cockstanding hard wish you were
Here now so I could taste you

 

[Schalk3070]

NW Indiana

I'm in bradenton FL

 

[pleasuremodeloneten]

You really know how to get a cockstanding hard wish you were
Here now so I could taste you

I would so enjoy that. It feels oddly natural to me now to hold a man’s head and slowly thrust in and out… it’s taken some time for me to become comfortable with it to be honest.


[Image removed per forum rules]

 

[Schalk3070]

I like your thinking. Oh, and I have some business that needs to be taken care of!

Have something that needs attention as well

 

[Schalk3070]

I would so enjoy that. It feels oddly natural to me now to hold a man’s head and slowly thrust in and out… it’s taken some time for me to become comfortable with it to be honest.

What I would love to do with that

 

[JimDee676]

Just stroked and playing with nipples while reading your post just wish I could have yourself in my mouth

Thank you! So glad it made you hot!

 

[Schalk3070]

Thank you! So glad it made you hot!

Where are you located
Be even hotter it in my mouth

 

[JimDee676]

Where are you located
Be even hotter it in my mouth

i'm in the NYC metro area.

 

[One_ping_only]

NNJ area atm but I grew up in Queens and used to live in Forest Hills prior to moving to NNJ.

 

[GentlemanJedi63]

Hi
I am writing an essay on exploring a man’s same sex lust from any of the following men:
1. Men who have sucked cock and/or bottomedr

2. Men who are curious to suck cock and/or bottom
3. Men who have cross dressed.

I’d this is you, please share your stories of experience, your fantasies, your inner struggle and I may use your story or quote in my essay.

Jasmine
The essay is tentatively called amen: How to Accept you Like Cock

Thanks in advance for considering this request.

Hi Jasmine,

I'd like to share my story, but it's pretty long, so feel free to ignore it, use it, etc.

In 1982, I was a typical 19 year old young man with a girlfriend. I had purchased a copy of Penthouse Variations to enjoy, and I began reading a section titled "Serendipity". A story about two young men began with them talking about wrestling, then they moved to the bedroom to practice some wrestling holds. They weren't wearing protective cups so they were soon aroused, and decided to wrestle nude. I was expecting a woman to make an appearance at this point, but imagine my surprise when the sex scenes involved the two men only. I was totally shocked to realize how aroused I was by the story. Of course, the wind blowing will make a 19 year old hard. When my girlfriend got home later and saw how aroused I still was, her response to me was "Is that for me? Have you been thinking of me?"
Although I thought that being with her would overcome my initial excitement, I kept thinking about that story and returning to read it again. I didn't really focus much on it later on,and when we broke up, it did not initially come to mind. After a few days, the thoughts of men began returning, and I began fantasizing about being seduced by an older man. Initially, I could not picture sex with a man as I felt guilty, embarrassed, dirty, and ashamed. I was also confused as I knew I liked and preferred women, but I was having some questions about the meaning of my thoughts, desires, and fantasies. Was I gay? Was I bi? As time progressed, my fantasies became more explicit. I fantasized about being seduced into giving oral,and even went as far as fantasizing I was drunk in those fantasies so I wouldn't have to admit it was something I wanted to do.
I started college about a year later, and I thought those fantasies would finally go away, but they did not. I was the stereotypical homophobic at that time as that was the only way I could deal with my feelings. I hid my homosexual desires behind homophobia, although I have always been a "live and let live person." I had some girlfriends in college, but the feelings remained.
I graduated college, and a few years later I married. Like many men, I thought that getting married would resolve my feelings, but those desires returned about a year into my marriage. I still lived in quiet shame, and did not know how to cope with those feelings. I could not handle the idea of being anything but 100% straight, and would not even describe myself as bicurious because that entailed admitting to not being perfectly straight. The internet was still not a thing, so even if I had decided to find a partner, I would have to reveal myself, and I wasn't ready for that. I didn't even know what I was looking for. The idea of sex with a man wasn't the main thought, but I also knew that I had an interest and curiosity. I finally realized what I really wanted was someone to tell my secret, talk with,someone to reassure me I was normal.
Since the mid-90s, I had discovered the internet, and discovered I could explore safely, but carefully from the privacy and comfort of home. I had begun to look at pictures of nude men at times, and I would masturbate to those pictures, but my shame was so intense that at the moment of orgasm, I would switch quickly to a picture of a nude woman, so I could tell myself that is what had caused my orgasm.
In late 2004, I was home alone, and decided to look at pictures of nude men online, so I began to indulge myself. As usual, I was masturbating, but this time, at the moment of orgasm I did not switch the pictures and as I came, I said aloud, "I am bicurious!" The aftermath was a time for introspection as I had revealed my desires to myself. I still did not know what I wanted, and still felt shame and embarrassment, but I knew I had an interest in men.
Over the next 10 years I explored online, but still wasn't ready to take the next step.
To recap, I became aware of my feelings at 19, and admitted them at 41.
I am now 61, and it wasn't until just a few years ago that I realized I had stopped fighting my desires, and had learned to accept them as being a part of me. Call me gay, bi, curious, whatever you want, but I'm just an average man. Although I am not out and very much in the closet, I am not ashamed of my interest in men. I don't have a general attraction to men, but on occasion a man will stir me up especially if I know he is gay. I knew I had accepted my desires when I began using the term "gay" to accurately describe my feelings. I had also developed interests, such as underwear, and had developed preferences in men.
This has been a journey, and after awareness, admission, and acceptance, I am looking to take action on these desires, but I do have preferences in men. However, as of this writing, on Sunday March 17, 2024, I have a potential friend, partner, and mentor I am hoping to meet later this week to gauge our chemistry.

Jim

 

[Schalk3070]

Hi Jasmine,

I'd like to share my story, but it's pretty long, so feel free to ignore it, use it, etc.

In 1982, I was a typical 19 year old young man with a girlfriend. I had purchased a copy of Penthouse Variations to enjoy, and I began reading a section titled "Serendipity". A story about two young men began with them talking about wrestling, then they moved to the bedroom to practice some wrestling holds. They weren't wearing protective cups so they were soon aroused, and decided to wrestle nude. I was expecting a woman to make an appearance at this point, but imagine my surprise when the sex scenes involved the two men only. I was totally shocked to realize how aroused I was by the story. Of course, the wind blowing will make a 19 year old hard. When my girlfriend got home later and saw how aroused I still was, her response to me was "Is that for me? Have you been thinking of me?"
Although I thought that being with her would overcome my initial excitement, I kept thinking about that story and returning to read it again. I didn't really focus much on it later on,and when we broke up, it did not initially come to mind. After a few days, the thoughts of men began returning, and I began fantasizing about being seduced by an older man. Initially, I could not picture sex with a man as I felt guilty, embarrassed, dirty, and ashamed. I was also confused as I knew I liked and preferred women, but I was having some questions about the meaning of my thoughts, desires, and fantasies. Was I gay? Was I bi? As time progressed, my fantasies became more explicit. I fantasized about being seduced into giving oral,and even went as far as fantasizing I was drunk in those fantasies so I wouldn't have to admit it was something I wanted to do.
I started college about a year later, and I thought those fantasies would finally go away, but they did not. I was the stereotypical homophobic at that time as that was the only way I could deal with my feelings. I hid my homosexual desires behind homophobia, although I have always been a "live and let live person." I had some girlfriends in college, but the feelings remained.
I graduated college, and a few years later I married. Like many men, I thought that getting married would resolve my feelings, but those desires returned about a year into my marriage. I still lived in quiet shame, and did not know how to cope with those feelings. I could not handle the idea of being anything but 100% straight, and would not even describe myself as bicurious because that entailed admitting to not being perfectly straight. The internet was still not a thing, so even if I had decided to find a partner, I would have to reveal myself, and I wasn't ready for that. I didn't even know what I was looking for. The idea of sex with a man wasn't the main thought, but I also knew that I had an interest and curiosity. I finally realized what I really wanted was someone to tell my secret, talk with,someone to reassure me I was normal.
Since the mid-90s, I had discovered the internet, and discovered I could explore safely, but carefully from the privacy and comfort of home. I had begun to look at pictures of nude men at times, and I would masturbate to those pictures, but my shame was so intense that at the moment of orgasm, I would switch quickly to a picture of a nude woman, so I could tell myself that is what had caused my orgasm.
In late 2004, I was home alone, and decided to look at pictures of nude men online, so I began to indulge myself. As usual, I was masturbating, but this time, at the moment of orgasm I did not switch the pictures and as I came, I said aloud, "I am bicurious!" The aftermath was a time for introspection as I had revealed my desires to myself. I still did not know what I wanted, and still felt shame and embarrassment, but I knew I had an interest in men.
Over the next 10 years I explored online, but still wasn't ready to take the next step.
To recap, I became aware of my feelings at 19, and admitted them at 41.
I am now 61, and it wasn't until just a few years ago that I realized I had stopped fighting my desires, and had learned to accept them as being a part of me. Call me gay, bi, curious, whatever you want, but I'm just an average man. Although I am not out and very much in the closet, I am not ashamed of my interest in men. I don't have a general attraction to men, but on occasion a man will stir me up especially if I know he is gay. I knew I had accepted my desires when I began using the term "gay" to accurately describe my feelings. I had also developed interests, such as underwear, and had developed preferences in men.
This has been a journey, and after awareness, admission, and acceptance, I am looking to take action on these desires, but I do have preferences in men. However, as of this writing, on Sunday March 17, 2024, I have a potential friend, partner, and mentor I am hoping to meet later this week to gauge our chemistry.

Jim

Was getting into your story and then you stopped say how it went with your date how did you start out with him sure would enjoy the rest of the story instead being eft hanging
So help another bi guy out finish story

 

[stranger244]

I was married and well into middle age when I first got the desire to have gay sex. After several years of resisting the desire I realized I had to try it. I came out to my wife, and with her approval i sucked a cock.

How did that turn out for you?

 

[Travler99921]

How did that turn out for you?

It turned out well. Sucking a cock filled a need that no woman could fill. Being honest about my sexuality open up discussions aboth our sexual needs. Our marital sex is better than it has ever been.

 

[Schalk3070]

Hi Jasmine,

I'd like to share my story, but it's pretty long, so feel free to ignore it, use it, etc.

In 1982, I was a typical 19 year old young man with a girlfriend. I had purchased a copy of Penthouse Variations to enjoy, and I began reading a section titled "Serendipity". A story about two young men began with them talking about wrestling, then they moved to the bedroom to practice some wrestling holds. They weren't wearing protective cups so they were soon aroused, and decided to wrestle nude. I was expecting a woman to make an appearance at this point, but imagine my surprise when the sex scenes involved the two men only. I was totally shocked to realize how aroused I was by the story. Of course, the wind blowing will make a 19 year old hard. When my girlfriend got home later and saw how aroused I still was, her response to me was "Is that for me? Have you been thinking of me?"
Although I thought that being with her would overcome my initial excitement, I kept thinking about that story and returning to read it again. I didn't really focus much on it later on,and when we broke up, it did not initially come to mind. After a few days, the thoughts of men began returning, and I began fantasizing about being seduced by an older man. Initially, I could not picture sex with a man as I felt guilty, embarrassed, dirty, and ashamed. I was also confused as I knew I liked and preferred women, but I was having some questions about the meaning of my thoughts, desires, and fantasies. Was I gay? Was I bi? As time progressed, my fantasies became more explicit. I fantasized about being seduced into giving oral,and even went as far as fantasizing I was drunk in those fantasies so I wouldn't have to admit it was something I wanted to do.
I started college about a year later, and I thought those fantasies would finally go away, but they did not. I was the stereotypical homophobic at that time as that was the only way I could deal with my feelings. I hid my homosexual desires behind homophobia, although I have always been a "live and let live person." I had some girlfriends in college, but the feelings remained.
I graduated college, and a few years later I married. Like many men, I thought that getting married would resolve my feelings, but those desires returned about a year into my marriage. I still lived in quiet shame, and did not know how to cope with those feelings. I could not handle the idea of being anything but 100% straight, and would not even describe myself as bicurious because that entailed admitting to not being perfectly straight. The internet was still not a thing, so even if I had decided to find a partner, I would have to reveal myself, and I wasn't ready for that. I didn't even know what I was looking for. The idea of sex with a man wasn't the main thought, but I also knew that I had an interest and curiosity. I finally realized what I really wanted was someone to tell my secret, talk with,someone to reassure me I was normal.
Since the mid-90s, I had discovered the internet, and discovered I could explore safely, but carefully from the privacy and comfort of home. I had begun to look at pictures of nude men at times, and I would masturbate to those pictures, but my shame was so intense that at the moment of orgasm, I would switch quickly to a picture of a nude woman, so I could tell myself that is what had caused my orgasm.
In late 2004, I was home alone, and decided to look at pictures of nude men online, so I began to indulge myself. As usual, I was masturbating, but this time, at the moment of orgasm I did not switch the pictures and as I came, I said aloud, "I am bicurious!" The aftermath was a time for introspection as I had revealed my desires to myself. I still did not know what I wanted, and still felt shame and embarrassment, but I knew I had an interest in men.
Over the next 10 years I explored online, but still wasn't ready to take the next step.
To recap, I became aware of my feelings at 19, and admitted them at 41.
I am now 61, and it wasn't until just a few years ago that I realized I had stopped fighting my desires, and had learned to accept them as being a part of me. Call me gay, bi, curious, whatever you want, but I'm just an average man. Although I am not out and very much in the closet, I am not ashamed of my interest in men. I don't have a general attraction to men, but on occasion a man will stir me up especially if I know he is gay. I knew I had accepted my desires when I began using the term "gay" to accurately describe my feelings. I had also developed interests, such as underwear, and had developed preferences in men.
This has been a journey, and after awareness, admission, and acceptance, I am looking to take action on these desires, but I do have preferences in men. However, as of this writing, on Sunday March 17, 2024, I have a potential friend, partner, and mentor I am hoping to meet later this week to gauge our chemistry.

Jim

Would enjoy hearing the outcome

 

[zphude]

I was raised in a very conservative, very christian, very "gay sex is the DEVIL!" environment. It has only added to the desire to seek out sex with men. I was curious at first, only about being a bottom, and sought it out after i came of age. then i got married, and i put my desires on the back burner. after i got divorced, i truly explored my lust for male sexual attention. any time i'm single, i go out and find a man to have sex with. it's part of my grieving process i guess, or maybe just a coping mechanism. Tho, in the long run, i've realised that i have sex for men more for the mental pleasure than the physical.