Sex & Shenanigans

[__Nathan1968]

This one is easy. 4&7
Know what else you would think would be easy? Proofreading just a tiny bit.

View attachment 2311699

I’ve been burned by too many poorly worded contracts…

1) Look 15 years younger. Younger than who?

2) Read minds for 3 days. Which 3 days? Can I pick? Like, I sure don’t won’t to know what people really think of me while I’m unconscious and on my death bed.

3) Forget your Ex. This would be horrible. What if you ended up dating them again?

4) Eat without gaining weight. Let’s assume the typo wasn’t intentional. How? Will this be accomplished via tapeworms? amoebic dysentery? Need more info.

5) Add 5 cm (2 inches) to your height. This one is promising. but only if it can be applied while I’m lying on my back.

6) Become Super Strong. Again, way too vague. Ants are super strong. Will you become an ant?

7) Have a lot of money. This is very subjective. What if their definition of “a lot” is actually less than you currently have?

8) Always feel happy. Pretty much what pills are for. No magic here.

9) Get millions of followers. Social media or sex cult? I guess either would be fine.

I guess I’ll take 5, with the caveat, and 9.

 

[Lmizzler]

This one is easy. 4&7
Know what else you would think would be easy? Proofreading just a tiny bit.

View attachment 2311699

4 and 8

 

[BodieOhl]

I’ve been burned by too many poorly worded contracts…

1) Look 15 years younger. Younger than who?

2) Read minds for 3 days. Which 3 days? Can I pick? Like, I sure don’t won’t to know what people really think of me while I’m unconscious and on my death bed.

3) Forget your Ex. This would be horrible. What if you ended up dating them again?

4) Eat without gaining weight. Let’s assume the typo wasn’t intentional. How? Will this be accomplished via tapeworms? amoebic dysentery? Need more info.

5) Add 5 cm (2 inches) to your height. This one is promising. but only if it can be applied while I’m lying on my back.

6) Become Super Strong. Again, way too vague. Ants are super strong. Will you become an ant?

7) Have a lot of money. This is very subjective. What if their definition of “a lot” is actually less than you currently have?

8) Always feel happy. Pretty much what pills are for. No magic here.

9) Get millions of followers. Social media or sex cult? I guess either would be fine.

I guess I’ll take 5, with the caveat, and 9.

Clearly you've rescued too many genies...

 

[morelikeasong]

A car stopped in a busy road to let me take a left turn and I had to do a double take because wow he was hot. Pretty sure he saw me double take as I turned and he smiled at me. Does Craigslist missed connections still exist?

Got my coffee treat. Crème brûlée latte! Also tried the new potato chive egg things. The bacon Gruyère ones still reign supreme by far.

 

[morelikeasong]

Thinking 6&8

I'm on board for 6&7

What are y’all planning to do with this super strength?

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

I knew I liked you.

Really? Hadn't noticed.

 

[__Nathan1968]

Clearly you've rescued too many genies...

Yup. Wanna buy a 12” pianist?

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

The new leather cuffs from bellesa and perfect you can let me know how they feel

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Really? Hadn't noticed.

I’m a very subtle monkey, I’ll be less so going forward I guess

I kid I kid. I think they’d ban me….*looks around nervously+

 

[JackKingOff]

What are y’all planning to do with this super strength?

Build myself a castle

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Yup. Wanna buy a 12” pianist?

Don’r wish for a big orange head neither,

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

What are y’all planning to do with this super strength?

Yeah without some sort of body armor jerking off would be….tragic

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

A car stopped in a busy road to let me take a left turn and I had to do a double take because wow he was hot. Pretty sure he saw me double take as I turned and he smiled at me. Does Craigslist missed connections still exist?

Oh why thank you. You ain't so bad yourself. This new hair product is doing it for me.

Got my coffee treat. Crème brûlée latte! Also tried the new potato chive egg things. The bacon Gruyère ones still reign supreme by far.

Yeah I usually get whatever breakfast sangwish I see. Then I'm like "Wait, is this 3D printed?"

 

[morelikeasong]

I’ve been burned by too many poorly worded contracts…

1) Look 15 years younger. Younger than who?

2) Read minds for 3 days. Which 3 days? Can I pick? Like, I sure don’t won’t to know what people really think of me while I’m unconscious and on my death bed.

3) Forget your Ex. This would be horrible. What if you ended up dating them again?

4) Eat without gaining weight. Let’s assume the typo wasn’t intentional. How? Will this be accomplished via tapeworms? amoebic dysentery? Need more info.

5) Add 5 cm (2 inches) to your height. This one is promising. but only if it can be applied while I’m lying on my back.

6) Become Super Strong. Again, way too vague. Ants are super strong. Will you become an ant?

7) Have a lot of money. This is very subjective. What if their definition of “a lot” is actually less than you currently have?

8) Always feel happy. Pretty much what pills are for. No magic here.

9) Get millions of followers. Social media or sex cult? I guess either would be fine.

I guess I’ll take 5, with the caveat, and 9.

Slow day at work?
this is hilarious. Ok I’m still taking 4 but maybe I’ll go with 9 for the sex cult.

 

[__Nathan1968]

Slow day at work?
this is hilarious. Ok I’m still taking 4 but maybe I’ll go with 9 for the sex cult.

Can we team up and double the cult membership?

 

[morelikeasong]

Can we team up and double the cult membership?

I’m not convinced on the doubling factor… seems like you’d be trying to mooch some of my followers

 

[__Nathan1968]

I’m not convinced on the doubling factor… seems like you’d be trying to mooch some of my followers

It is strictly a practicality thing. I don’t think I can effectively run my sex cult if I also get tricked into joining yours.

 

[morelikeasong]

It is strictly a practicality thing. I don’t think I can effectively run my sex cult if I also get tricked into joining yours.

So now you want me to take responsibility for your poor decisions? Isn’t that what I have immunity from by being a cult leader?

https://media4.giphy.com/media/fs8Q3CfRV7yH8kMTJj/giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d708c8ftxcfz0jrqgsel1mp6utgsjk0zi34vnpvn8e&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[LupineOne]

https://media2.giphy.com/media/3o6wrylsLBs9tfujkY/giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d7svvptgnlanlenx7pnkz8k2in1ik0ih2r76kujnng&ep=v1_gifs_related&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

Where are all you pervs?

Goddamn work taking me away from my pocket peoples

 

[morelikeasong]

Goddamn work taking me away from my pocket peoples

This made me think of being a little mini version of myself and hanging out in your pocket like Stuart little. Ideally a shirt pocket though

 

[LupineOne]

This made me think of being a little mini version of myself and hanging out in your pocket like Stuart little. Ideally a shirt pocket though

Hmmm how bout that big pocket on a hoodie?

 

[__Nathan1968]

So now you want me to take responsibility for your poor decisions? Isn’t that what I have immunity from by being a cult leader?

https://media4.giphy.com/media/fs8Q3CfRV7yH8kMTJj/giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d708c8ftxcfz0jrqgsel1mp6utgsjk0zi34vnpvn8e&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[curious_me]

This one is easy. 4&7
Know what else you would think would be easy? Proofreading just a tiny bit.

View attachment 2311699

Can I pick 7 and then 7 again?

Everything else will fall into place. Is it just me?

 

[morelikeasong]

Hmmm how bout that big pocket on a hoodie?

Yep! That will be cozy.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Can I pick 7 and then 7 again?

Everything else will fall into place. Is it just me?

Now I want a drink