Cock Talk

[Apisto42]

You know we do. Hey baby wanna see my D20?

Dude, I’m offline for like five minutes and you’re showing your dice to @Photog1rl ?

Jeez

 

[Weirdnessome]

My cock doesn't talk, would be weird if it did

 

[Bbl87]

Dude, I’m offline for like five minutes and you’re showing your dice to @Photog1rl ?

Jeez

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Dude, I’m offline for like five minutes and you’re showing your dice to @Photog1rl ?

Jeez

I’m sorry, I’m a dice whore and I’ll never ever be any good.

 

[hotwords229_A]

My cock doesn't talk, would be weird if it did

Really? Mine SCREAMS!

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

My refractory period is not long…

I didn't know you were done?

She makes it difficult to chat.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Amyl nitrate, colloquially known as poppers was (may still be not up current club culture, may have been replaced) was a drug that relaxed throat and anal muscles making it very popular in certain sub cultures.

https://www.jackdurden.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/chloe-fight-club-quote-speech-dead.gif

This movie was where I learned about them

I thought amyl nitrate was the stuff that blew up the Rubber Duck at the end of Convoy?
Where is @Trekka ? She is my Convoy friend.

 

[hotwords229_A]

https://i0.wp.com/memolition.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/110005216dc75fc13.gif?fit=320%2C240

How come any object, flying out of control, will immediately find the nearest pair of testicles and smash into them?
Why do balls mostly itch at the exact moment it is inappropriate to scratch them?
Why are men’s underwear and pants not made with a larger crotch to allow for erections not to be crushed by the all-too-tight fabric?
Why do we always get an erection when our dicks are pointing in the worst possible direction in our pants?
Why is there always gum in a urinal?
If men rule the world, why are homes not equipped with urinals?
Why do kids and dogs always step on our nuts? Always!
Why does our pee stream sometimes split into two directions?
Why do you secretly like the way your sweaty balls smell? (You know you’ve smelled them).

 

[aussiegeekygal]

There's gum in the urinal?

PS - I adore the smell of sweaty balls

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Dude, I’m offline for like five minutes and you’re showing your dice to @Photog1rl ?

Jeez

You can show me your dice if it'll make you feel better

 

[hotwords229_A]

There's gum in the urinal?

PS - I adore the smell of sweaty balls

I would say it’s somewhere around 85% of all urinals I’ve used have had gum in them.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I would say it’s somewhere around 85% of all urinals I’ve used have had gum in them.

Reckon it's put there on purpose so that guys who can't help but be competitive try to hit it for their entire stream?

 

[MindYaBitness]

https://i0.wp.com/memolition.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/110005216dc75fc13.gif?fit=320%2C240

How come any object, flying out of control, will immediately find the nearest pair of testicles and smash into them?
Why do balls mostly itch at the exact moment it is inappropriate to scratch them?
Why are men’s underwear and pants not made with a larger crotch to allow for erections not to be crushed by the all-too-tight fabric?
Why do we always get an erection when our dicks are pointing in the worst possible direction in our pants?
Why is there always gum in a urinal?
If men rule the world, why are homes not equipped with urinals?
Why do kids and dogs always step on our nuts? Always!
Why does our pee stream sometimes split into two directions?
Why do you secretly like the way your sweaty balls smell? (You know you’ve smelled them).

How come any object, flying out of control, will immediately find the nearest pair of testicles and smash into them?
Because of the Gravity of the spherical objects pull toward each other, like the Earth & Sun

Why do balls mostly itch at the exact moment it is inappropriate to scratch them?
Have you been to a counselor to address your social anxiety?

Why are men’s underwear and pants not made with a larger crotch to allow for erections not to be crushed by the all-too-tight fabric?
Because the same asshole who ruined pockets in women's clothing is at heart a feminist, and wants your pants to be as uncomfotable as our shallow pockets are useless.

Why do we always get an erection when our dicks are pointing in the worst possible direction in our pants?
No, really, have you seen that counselor yet? Do you want me to resend her info?

Why is there always gum in a urinal?
Because boys are gross. There's a reason I avoid unisex bathrooms.

If men rule the world, why are homes not equipped with urinals?
Because men don't take the time to design the homes. I've been a part of hundreds of home builds. The guys don't show up most of the time, and when they do they sit in the corner on their phone. Want urinals? Just ask, they'll gladly put them in!

Why do kids and dogs always step on our nuts? Always!
I think the bigger question is why are your nuts on the floor to begin with.

Why does our pee stream sometimes split into two directions?
Urethral strictors...go see your urologist ASAP.

Why do you secretly like the way your sweaty balls smell?
I don't, but I also don't have a spouse who has excessive or stinky sweat, so it's not really a problem.

 

[Apisto42]

You can show me your dice if it'll make you feel better

I used to have dnd dice, but now I’ve just got bags of d6’s. So if you’re good with a whole lot of 1-6 we’re good to go.

 

[hotwords229_A]

No, really, have you seen that counselor yet? Do you want me to resend her info?

Last time you sent her office hours and phone number. I want her measurements, pics, Lit handle, likes and dislikes, is she a dog person or a cat person . . . that kind of stuff.

I need a counselor to talk about my counselor with, don’t I?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I used to have dnd dice, but now I’ve just got bags of d6’s. So if you’re good with a whole lot of 1-6 we’re good to go.

Oh I see. You think I acted poorly so now you’re out here dice-whoring all around town.

Such a vicious cycle.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

You can show me your dice if it'll make you feel better

Size matters .

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Size matters .

Don't I know it

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Don't I know it

I love good ad placement. I mean as much as I can love anything about advertising anyway.

 

[Photog1rl]

Size matters .

As do the number of sides your die has.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I love good ad placement. I mean as much as I can live anything about advertising anyway.

View attachment 2308369

I must know what they're peddling as the cure-all for male loneliness!

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I must know what they're peddling as the cure-all for male loneliness!

It was, no joke, doing cocaine and hookers in a hotel? No idea what the fuck that add was on about so I just grabbed the headline

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

As do the number of sides your die has.

DCC baby. 30 sides.

 

[Photog1rl]

DCC baby. 30 sides.

I think I just ovulated.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I think I just ovulated.

My big dice bring all the girls to my table.