How strictly separate are your erotic writing and personal lives

[HordHolm]

The only person who knows is my wife. But then she gets her own private series of works....

 

[vagrantx]

I'm fairly certain that, if I ever let anyone know what I write on here, I'd be institutionalized. Nope, taking this one to the grave.

 

[MyBareTorso]

Nobody knows...this is a totally secret hobby for me...

 

[ElectricBlue]

Like many others, my writing is a secret place.

 

[AG31]

Nobody knows...this is a totally secret hobby for me...

I know!!!

 

[Rob_Royale]

I have tried to keep the erotica out of my family life. My wife knows and is distantly supportive. She told my youngest son (27) before I told her to keep a lid on it. He told his GF before I told him. So three people know, and they are sworn to secrecy. My son's (now ex) girlfriend's (but still a pal) price for her silence was the link to my work here and she's a fan and has been enjoying Lit ever since.

The guys at work have seen me typing on my Bluetooth keyboard and just know that I do a 'bit of writing'.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Of people I know, irl... I've only let my sweetheart read anything dirty that I've written. People always ask me how my husband likes my dirty NC/R stories, and the only answer I have is "Not. All. That. Much." lol But I'm not married to a rapist, so I'll take that as a win.

A couple of friends know that I write, but I won't let them read. Oh, and I told my dad and a sibling that I sometimes take commissions to write "romance with an erotic edge."

Also this thread will give you a few more perspectives (and more than a few repeats).

 

[MrPixel]

Also this thread will give you a few more perspectives (and more than a few repeats).

Huh. Yeah, you're right about the repeats. At least I'm consistent.

 

[WeShallUnclench]

For me, there is also another angle:

Even IF I trusted the people I know irl with any of this - there is something in writing to a crowd of strangers (or at least people I'll never meet irl) that is intrinsically appealing.

My spouse will never get that, with any of my internet activity (that they know of). They're all like "You don't even KNOW those people, so what's the point?"

But I like the idea that I can throw my work out there, and the people who like it and/or are willing to give feedback will find it (hopefully more than a dozen, but we all know the struggle).
Very different experience from waddling up to someone you know specifically and get rejected in a very... active way (be it "cool story, sweetie"- type indifference or vocal hatred and loss of status).

 

[Rob_Royale]

For me, there is also another angle:

Even IF I trusted the people I know irl with any of this - there is something in writing to a crowd of strangers (or at least people I'll never meet irl) that is intrinsically appealing.

My spouse will never get that, with any of my internet activity (that they know of). They're all like "You don't even KNOW those people, so what's the point?"

But I like the idea that I can throw my work out there, and the people who like it and/or are willing to give feedback will find it (hopefully more than a dozen, but we all know the struggle).
Very different experience from waddling up to someone you know specifically and get rejected in a very... active way (be it "cool story, sweetie"- type indifference or vocal hatred and loss of status).

I quite agree. Hanging with like-minded perverts in a nearly anonymous setting is very freeing.

 

[shakna]

A few friends know, and a couple artists I do things with now and then. I haven't tried to keep it a secret really, but... It also isn't something that comes up much in conversation.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Seperated by the thin line, that nobody I know cares that I write. They know about it, and have zero interest in reading any, erotica, fanfics, or otherwise.

 

[oneagainst]

Of people I know, irl... I've only let my sweetheart read anything dirty that I've written. People always ask me how my husband likes my dirty NC/R stories, and the only answer I have is "Not. All. That. Much." lol But I'm not married to a rapist, so I'll take that as a win.

A couple of friends know that I write, but I won't let them read. Oh, and I told my dad and a sibling that I sometimes take commissions to write "romance with an erotic edge."

Also this thread will give you a few more perspectives (and more than a few repeats).

We should do an average age of authors thread next. Hey, maybe it should have bar graphs...!

 

[ChloeTzang]

Only my husband knows, and he really enjoys my stories. Apart from that, no-one I know IRL has an idea. I keep my erotica completely separate from real life and ne'er the twain shall meet. I have taken writing classes and workshops, but my writing their is all mainstream. Altho one of my stories did have its genesis in a writing workshop exercise LOL

 

[Imstillfun]

Some are true. Some are a fantasy based on a real experience, some are pure fantasies of mine or my husband, some are pure porn because I have a dirty mind.

 

[HeyAll]

No one knows. I use seperate gmails. Both on my phone and my computer.

I should add that I now use Patreon, which meant that since I have adult content, I had to show my ID and face on the webcam to verify myself.

 

[WeShallUnclench]

I am kinda amazed how many people share this sort of thing with their partners

 

[Seadog777]

My family knows that I write erotica.

My sisters even proofread my stories sometimes.

Most of my stories have something that is "real" in it.

Whether it's a name, location, situation, main character, bit character, etc, etc.

 

[stonedinstilletos]

For me it’s just a google drive that my spouse has no reason to look at. My computer isn’t locked and the passwords I‘m required to have, my spouse has them. As far as I can tell, they’ve never looked.

But this reminds me of stRoy my uncle told me many years ago. His English teacher in high school (this was the early70s) had a side job that he was an editor for porn books (the paperback ones, forget waht they’re called). Anyways, if he could trust you, and you did all your work, your extra credit assignment was you got to help him edit the manuscripts. As far as my uncle knows, no one ever ratted him out.

 

[CalebZhass]

And from that I mean, where do you fall on the spectrum between "I use 50 encryption methods of making sure none of this can ever be traced back to me" to "It says 'Erotic Fiction writer' on my office door and that's how I seduced my husband; my kids and parents brag about it in public" ?

In particular, is this something you keep very private even from the people closest to you?

Encrypted folders, code names in file system, etc. Pretty much on the secretive side of the spectrum.

Let's see:
My family is pretty backwards when it comes to sex in terms that it is not something discussed openly EVER. Though they know I dabble in writing poems from time to time, they have no idea I also write about different sexual fantasies.
Sex is not a topic I discuss with any of my friends, though I have some close enough that I would trust them with this aspect of my life, it never came up and I am fine with that
If I were to have a mate, I would possibly share it with them eventually, after all, this is who I am they either take the full package or they leave it, but that hasn't come up either so far. Truth be told, This whole writing thing started but a few years ago and the erotic part of it only a few months ago.
As for the broader world, no thank you. The world is full of bigoted idiots. I don't need some overzealous religious nutcase ruining my life over how/why they think I am a pervert who has no place in society

So yea, I keep this side of my life very private. Only Microsoft and Google know about it, as I store my shit on their servers and as we all know, they read everything you put up there The rest of the world, no thank you.